Being Called FAT. It hurts. And you don’t forget.
Being Called FAT. It hurts. And you don’t forget.
Hello POPsters,
The winners of my last giveaway were selected based on their thoughtful answers to “What makes you feel beautiful?” One entry that particularly touched me was Cari Garvey’s. She talked about how growing up people taunted her for her size and how she will never forget the hurt that she endured for being overweight.
Her story touched me because I know the hurt. I was once called fat. It was 13 years ago. I was at a family birthday party, we were all eating together at this long table with all sorts of wonderful foods laid out. I was thoroughly enjoying my plate along with my mom and sister. Then this little girl who was probably a year or two younger than me looks at me and says “Why are you so fat?”
I stopped chewing. My eyes welled up with tears. The edges of my lips curled and I fought the quivering frown overcoming my face. I dropped my fork. Ran into another room. Cried. The kind of crying where you can’t stop and you can’t breathe.
It wasn’t long before my mom chased after me and held me in her arms. She didn’t know what happened but she did try to calm me down. When I could finally catch my breathe to tell her, she laughed it off, saying that the little girl didn’t know anything and that she didn’t mean it. I eventually stopped crying. But it didn’t matter. Kids tell the truth. And the truth was, I was fat. I’ll never forget.
I was 11 years old at the time and chubby. In my yearbook pictures, I had a double chin when I smiled. It was hard to find jeans that fit me. But none of it had even bothered me up until that point. I didn’t even know I was fat. I was active, happy, doing well in school, and had friends. That was all that mattered. But from that point on, I became self conscious. I lost confidence. Body image then became something I was constantly aware of. My body dictated my feelings.
Luckily as I reached puberty, I naturally leaned out as I grew taller. In high school, I was on the Varsity tennis team for 4 years and didn’t ever have to think about working out. It was just part of my routine. I didn’t know much about nutrition either so I’d notice that I’d get skinny on season and gain weight off season/in the summer. One September when I got back to school one of my closest friends straight up told me “You look bigger.” I clearly remember defending myself, saying “No, it’s just the sweater, really I didn’t.” I begged her to understand. It was like I was fighting for skinny. It hurt so much. That was 8 years ago. I was 16.
I would say that from that conversation on, I began my struggle with body image satisfaction. No, I never had an eating disorder or anything, but I can confess that I am very hard on myself when I look in the mirror. I see things I wanna improve, just like any other girl. It’s a bad habit, but being the perfectionist that I am, the goals get harder and harder to reach every time.
Do you know that every time I put up a new video, I have this fear that one of the commenters will say “looks like you got fatter”? I don’t think it’s happened yet, but it’s bound to. I’ve lost definition and put on a few pounds since I moved back to the West Coast. Not gonna lie. I can envision this happening when I read the fat comment…I will freeze up, have chills run down my spine, and think back in detail to when I was 11.
Being called fat is something that is offensive and hurtful. It’s something I can forgive, but I cannot forget. Being called fat is a personal attack on your most vulnerable self. It’s a physical insult that leaves an emotional scar.
But like anything else, we must move on to continue growing. Where do you go from here? You begin by removing yourself from that person or the situation that is making you feel horrible. You are still amazing, regardless of what you look like. (Remember how content I was before that girl called me fat?) If you choose to change your physical appearance/lose weight, then do it with passion and know that you’re doing it for the right reasons. Confidence. Health. Fitness. Then enjoy the journey. Find happiness in your day to day struggles and happiness when you reach your destination. Life is too short to be sad over things like this. Just keep remembering that you are resilient and that you can conquer anything you put your mind to. You just need to want it badly enough.
QUESTION: Are you hurt when someone calls you fat? How did you feel and what did you do to make things better?
PS: I’m banning the word “fat” from my vocab, and you should too. That’s no way to describe a person.
525 thoughts on “Being Called FAT. It hurts. And you don’t forget.”
There are Array525 comments posted by our users.
Yes, it doses i have been called fat more than pretty and it hurts my crush called me fat and i just started crying idk what to do I’m 13 and 228 lb. I’m so sad i just want to be skinny when i was a little girl every year i would ask to be skinny because my classmates make fun of me i was the odd one out .i tried fasting,workouts,and a calorie deficit idk what to do anymore.
I am 12 years old and going through puberty. I am not fat i am normal sized but people always call me fat and dont think about how i feel. I smile and act like it’s fine but when i get home I start crying, like i cant physically stop. Like today a boy told me,” I’m normal sized but you just a little large”. I know it’s not bad I’ve been called worse but something inside me hurts and i keep thinking about it. I get all insecure and I’ve never thought of myself as fat but now i do because of the amount of people who say otherwise. It makes me feel better that I’m not the only one, it helps ease the pain a little. What makes things worse is my friends are all skinny and it makes me look really big next to them, even though they ALL eat more than me but just have a fast metabolism. It’s unfair but there’s nothing i can do. I will try to lose weight for MYSELF only and just to prove to them that I’m not ugly. (Ps. To all people my age, dont worry too much because once we hit a growth spurt it’ll all even out)
look theres many people that call me fat and ugly and an unwated child but all of us need to know is that just because we look fat dosent mean they call us that if we like our body then own it but everyone in this article you dont need to be searching “what to do if someone calls me fat “. “how to get skinner”. we have this life to learn and know what life is for not to feel bad about our bodys we all are beautiful no matter what all thoses kids that arent even smart but what i’m trying to say is that we all have curves or were thick but we know that we a beautiful
I LOVE Y”ALL
This just helped me calm down rn😪💕
Im always getting called fat. It always hurts me and I feel weird and ugly I think about the other girls and how there so pretty and skinny. Like for today as an example I was called fat we were doing a progect and someone wrote my name as Astrid the fatty it made me feel self concuios and really embarraseed that it happend and the teacher just laughed and deleted it 🙁
Im 12 and when i read the article i burst into tears. im often getting bullied, called fat by other people, even by mom and dad. My dad jokes around calling me fat. The smile on my face when he says those hurtful words aren’t real. Inside deep down im crying and dying. theres always a lump on my throat and lately ive been feeling very sad since bullying has increased since my first year at middle school. to whoever is dealing with depression and body shaming, i have a message for u:
that’s whats makes u beautiful <333 dont listen to anyone.
hey
i don’t know who is reading this but my cousin just called me “MAYA FATTY” and dear god, it hurts. i’m crying in the bathroom, weeping my heart out because i am NOT fat! i’m 5 foot 7 and 62 kgs, and i have a 21 BMI and this has happened SO. MANY. TIMES. and i think it’s finally time to start doing something about it!
i hope you’re inspired to start your journey soon, too. i sure do wish i am starting mine tomorrow. bye bye chocolates. time to get skinny.
We all gonna make it brahh keep pushing the limits no matter how hard it gets and don’t give a fuarkkk what people say ! Letss goo team Zyzz here brahhh
I’m 11 years old. I went through puberty very very early I started at 9 and I have curves. I was at school THIS YEAR and let me say I’m normal sized and average but as I said I went through puberty early and I have curves. but anyways I was at school and these girls in my class were the average Skinny, Popular, girls and I started to hang out with them and one day we were all sitting together and one of the girls cracked a dumb joke and I said she was weird and she came back at me with “Well atleast I’m not fat like you” at that point my world stopped completely and my eyes began to water and I ran and I hid in a bathroom stall and cried for 30 minutes. I didn’t realize how insecure was until she said that. And now I don’t go a day without thinking about it. I’ve been called overweight and some other things that have to do with my body since then and everytime it hurts more and more and this really helped seeing that I’m not alone. Thank you.
I’m always called fat in school , at home , in church , like everywhere. I always cry and sometime wonder why I wasn’t slim and beautiful
Hi , I know this comment is older, I just really wanted to reach out because although I am now 34 years old, once upon a time I was you. Your story made me so sad and I genuinely hope you dont go down the path that I did. I was 10 when I got my period , and just like u I had curves when no one else did. Looking back , I wasn’t fat at all, but I definitely believed it then when people said it to me. I wore a C cup in grade 6. , By the time I was 12 , I looked like I was 25. It mentally messed me up so much mentally that i went on to have an eating disorder for 10 years and it almost killed me.
Please take it from me, you are not fat. You are beautiful , and people who make comments like that, 100% of the time , it’s because they are insecure within themselves, and are projecting their own crap on to you. I would bet money that in 20 years , when you are my age, you won’t even know them, let alone care what they think.
Right now I wear a 38H. I’m thick , would not consider myself “fat” and still at 34 get more attention than I even want. I sincerely hope that you find the path to self love, and hopefully you take a less bumpy and traumatic path then I did.
im 14 and for almost my whole childhood I was over weight. I have two older sisters who are about ten years older than me, who are both beautiful and skinny. growing up my parents always compared me to them. they would say ‘why can’t you be like your sisters?’ when talking about my weight. They would squeeze my stomach and say ‘you are too fat’ and ‘you need to loose weight’. This really hurt me. My family are really judgemental people and really unsympathetic, so I would always wait until I was alone in my room to cry. If my parents saw me crying they would say ‘just stop overreacting’ and ‘this wouldn’t be a problem if you listened to us’. I would often try to cut down my portion size, but if I did my parents would questions me like ‘why aren’t you eating?’. One day at dinner, I think they worked out that I was trying to loose weight. they then started to tempt me with seconds and desserts and if I rejected them, they would say ‘stop being a bore’ or ‘I know you want it, just take it’. This made me really angry I would go into my room and scream into my pillow. This lasted for about 11 years. what made it worse was school. people at school would look at me and call me fat. one girl even came up to me and asked me why I didn’t try to loose weight. however, I did have an amazing group of friends who were so supportive and tried to convince me daily that I wasn’t fat. Honestly, if it wasn’t for them, I don’t think I would be here today. as I went through puberty, I started playing volleyball and netball. I started to slim down, which was such a huge relief. Im not even now skinny. I won’t admit it to myself, but im still fat. and my parents still make fun of me and make me feel so self conscious. this lockdown has been really hard for me. I usually rely on going to school and getting away from my family, to feel better. but I have started to loose weight, which is really great.
I guess what im trying to say is that even if people try and bring you down, you can still do it. and remember, you didn’t gain all your fat in one day, so you won’t loose it in one day or one workout or one diet
I’m not really overweight I’m a normal girl with a normal body weight but I’m so insecure about it , I’m always scared that someone is going to say “you got fatter than before!” I really hate people saying this. Once the cook of my hostel told me that I got bigger and I reacted as if it didn’t matter to me but inside it hurt me so much I can’t tell I couldn’t stop thinking about it and cry my heart out I can’t even share it with anyone because nobody takes it seriously . Most of my friends are skinny so they don’t understand my emotion . It hurts! It really does…
hi, i’m 12 turning 13 this year and i’m really insecure about my weight and body because when i was young, i was really skinny and people would comment about it all the time but lately (from around year 4) i’ve gained quite a bit of weight. my mum had noticed and kept urging me to exercise, diet and stuff like that but my sister says it in not so so nice ways like “haha, you can’t fit because you’re so fat! __ won’t like you back if you keep this up!” so yeah 🙁
My mom does the same to me, my whole family does. i was in the weight room for gym today and my friend says, ” your too heavy for that!” that broke me and i just kept walking away when she kept following me and telling me sorry. she said she wasnt thinking and i said,”if you wernt thinking it you woldnt have said it.” this happens so much to me and it hurts so badly, i always feel like im not good enough.
At school yesterday my ‘friend’ poked my stomach called me fat. I know she was joking but, It hurt. I was actually holding back tears. I asked her about it and she acted like she never did that. That was LITERALLY seconds later. With others I wouldn’t care but tee-hee i kinda be crushing on her tho 👉👈
hi so im 12 and i was at the shops with my friends and there was a kids ride and i was joking about going inside it and i couldnt fit and i know im fat so i just used an excuse and said “I’m too tall so i cant fit” because its true, i am pretty tall but i knew it wasn’t because of that. One of my friends who i really care about is also tall and has a perfect body. She told me “I can get in and im tall. It’s not because you’re too tall, its because you’re too fat.” She laughed and my other friend who is also a bit chubby heard and didnt say anything. I laughed it off because i know that her intentions were not to hurt me and after she said that she said “it’s okay i love you” but i laughed it off and pretending i wasn’t hurt but i think it about it every second of the day and it only happened yesterday. if someone else called me fat i wouldn’t care, but i REALLY care about this friend and the situation keeps replaying in my head and ive been feeling insecure and really upset and she probably forgot about it so i pretend i did too but everytime i look at her i keep hearing her hurtful words. I don’t know what to do to stop thinking about it and i know she didn’t mean to hurt me because she is a good friend but her words really hurt me because i care about her the most and i’ve never felt this insecure about my weight. I am not very over weight just over average.
Thank you
I was constantly as a child compared to my naturally skinny (since they’re ectomorph) and pretty face cousins. My aunts at family gathering would constantly bashed me about my weight and say, “Oh my gosh, stop feeding her she doesn’t need food, just look at her”. As I grew other, so did my childhood trauma. It haunted me, making me cut my daily portion to half the size each time to where it was only a banana I was eating. It left an emotional scarred, that I never knew why I was being treated that way. It was not my choice to be born in this body and on top of that it was not my choice to be even on this earth, but I’m here and I’m trying to live it to the best as I can. Now, till this day there will be times those ”aunts” more like bitches hyenas would still come up and complaint about how I look. Keep in mind I’m average weight, I’m just not stick thin like those models are that’s why I’m consider fat in their eyes. It took me years to figure out that their definition of me being skinny, isn’t healthy and not natural for my body to be. Knowing what my body type and what an average size is, made me embrace what body I was blessed with and appreciate it. It’a never too late to fall in love with the body you were given. Just make sure it is You who decided how to define your body. Those toxic comments should be banned. Thank you for reading and I hope your self love journey counties, cheer to a better future with ourself!
I am 14 and my oldest brother said that I’m going to be fat he wasn’t joking and he said it a couple of times after sometimes it was to my mum when he was complaining about and sometime it was in front of both of us. She never really shouted at him it was more like “she’s not fat” and that was it. They have both moved on from it and he’s fine with me, making jokes and stuff and I just have to kinda pretend that I’m fine and that it still doesn’t affect me. I still mention it time to time when my brother is picking on me but that’s it. I know of it was the other way round I would get shouted at and I know that my brother is very black and white and sees things the way he wants too which doesn’t make home the nicest person sometimes, but if it suits him he will be friendly and energetic and expect everyone to just a t like he hasn’t said something hurtful or caused any problems or arguments.
Sorry its kinda long, but the whole point is because I can’t get over what he said and whenever he does something that upsets me, his word just ring in my head. No one ones that I still haven’t gotten over it, but I feel lie they’ll just brush it off or say its because that’s just how he is.
Thank you!
i’m 11 and one time my friend invited me over to her house for a sleepover, i said yes because i have the most fun times with her. anyway, when i got there everything was fine until the middle of the night when i saw on my friends sister ipad it said “jasmine the fat beast” that really hurt me but i new her sister judged almost everyone. so i brushed it of tho i did cry a bit…. but what made me most upset is that my friend told me one of my other friends had been telling people that i weighed 90kgs (which is definitely wrong) and that i has “bible verses around my house” that’s what made me cry the most. the next morning me, my friend, her sister, her brother and her mum all got ready to go to the park and as i walked past my friends little brother to get into the car he said “big fattie” so basically there whole family called me fat.. after the park my friends mum dropped me home and i told my mother everything, she was disappointed so she took me to the beach to help cheer me up. while we were at the beach i couldn’t stop thinking about what my friend told me at the sleepover so i asked my mum if i could call my other friend that she claimed had said that stuff about me, my mum called tahlias ( the friend that i thought said it all) mum and she let me speak to tahlia… i was telling tahlia what my other friend had told me tahlia had said and tahlia said no i never said that but i remembered suspiciously that the friend that told me tahlia said all that had told me if u tell tahlia that i told u she said that she will say i said it all. i thought that was sus so now i know that the friend that told me tahlia said all that was actually the one who said it all, when i got home from the beach i texted my other friend and i confronted her then blocked her….. what do i do i need to go to school with her tomorrow and i will have to see her because i have a really small school. it may not sound like it makes sense but long story short my friends whole family called me fat and i don’t know what to do to make me feel better…
You are beautiful. I’m twelve and I know what’s it’s like being body shamed. One thing that really helped was reading body positivity posts on the internet. I really like the blog YourTango. I hope you have a beautiful day!
I’m 10 and i live with my mom i go to my dads sometimes but sometimes when i go i feel very hurts be cause i can berly do stuff be cause my dad says I’m Bigger than the other 3 girls and i hurts to be called fat and at my mom house my siblings call me fat
im 21 years old and im dealing with depression at the moment because of my weight.. but it didnt help having someone come in my home saying “HEY F!@#$%!!” All i did was smile and look down… i felt like crying but i held it in very well.. i didnt eat. I couldnt that day. I didnt want nobody to really know how upset i was but im used to it for being bullied most of my life at school and home all my childhood. Ive tried to explain to my husband on how i felt about it but he just said i was being the bigger person. Im trying hard to not ruin my relationship with my low self esteem i constantly wear hoodies sweat pants or just pants but i still keep going hoping ill be able to lose my weight when i know i may not be able too… i just needed to vent it out..
oh im so sorry
Hey I am Maddie and am 14
this happened only a couple months ago I was sent to hospital because I was to thin caused by social media and all these perfect bodies on that I saw on social media. at first I thought it wasn’t impacting me but then started to feel different compared to them and lost to much weight and my BMI was to low and heart rate was to low because of the amount of weight I lost in such a short period of time. my life is now doctor appointments blood test and psychology sessions every weeks if someone calls you fat just know that there is no such thing as fat there is only a such thing as to this
How do you shield yourself if it’s your family that’s making you believe your fat?
I have had do deal with this for so much of my life. my parents were constantly fat shaming me, and comparing me to my sisters who are both super skinny and beautiful. Honestly, all the advice I got for you is to not listen. you are BEAUTIFUL. if this helps, this is what I did: I started to do workouts and go on runs when my parents were working. I don’t know why I was so embarrassed that I was trying to loose weight, but I hated them walking in on me doing exercise. so whenever your house is quiet or empty, use that time to exercise. you don’t have to start big. I started just doing so sit ups, push ups and planks.
if your family really is a problem, you should sit them down and have a talk to them. I found this a really terrifying thing today. I always thought ‘today would be the day im gunna do it’ but I never did. I decided writing an email is easier. I found this a really great way to tell them. I would be able to tell them all my problems and thoughts while being able to take my time to phase them, which I think is really hard.
I hope this has helped. REMEMBER YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL NO MATTER YOUR WEIGHT
hey I’m Emma I’m 11 almost twelve I weigh 43.3kg
I feel sad that I am being called miss blobby in my fam my brother is skin and bones but he calls me miss fatty and he’s only 7 my mum says i need to go on a diet but every time I try and work out it will be very short bc I have an exam coming up and I’m very busy i am going to high school this year and i am ashamed to go bc of my body anyone else
Hi! I’m Amy. I’m 12- almost 13. (one grade above you!)
I have not been called fat by my family but I’m pretty short and not really skinny. I wouldn’t call this girl my friend but, she chases me around because she always thinks I’m joking around her. For me, this is a stage of life where I’m gaining a lot of weight. She constantly reminds me that I’m fat by calling me, fatso. I cried every day because of her. I don’t think I’ll ever get rid of her. I work out a bit and it’s helping me but I can barely stand up with confidence. I never told her and my best friends that I got hurt because I’m not a person who shares a lot of things but my best friends helped me realised that there were people who cared and loved me no matter what I looked like. High school is a great opportunity to make friends who care about you and love you. Please learn from my mistakes and share things with people you can trust, standing up with confidence and smiling in everything you do. You should still exercise, not for others, but for yourself and come to a realisation that you are loved no matter what- even by strangers. Amy <3
Hi! I’m Ambur, and I’m a bit older than you. I’m 22. I’ve always been plus sized, and people at school would always make fun of me, including one boy that always called me a whale. Well, it made me sadder and I kept eating more. By the time I graduated, I weighed about 400 lbs! (That’s more than double of what I should’ve). After I graduated, I started trying to find things to make me feel better, because my back hurt constantly and I felt like everyone was looking at me because I would run out of breath while walking around a store. I really don’t like to exercise, and I’m heavily addicted to all the wrong foods. When I decided to lose weight, I wanted to do it my own way. I know that I’m not big on fruits and veggies, so it didn’t make sense to me to start eating only those just to lose weight. I started dancing, by myself for exercise. It’s fun, and you can literally do whatever you want! Shake your hips, raise your arms, etc. Line dances like the Cupid Shuffle and Watch Me are great too! For 30 mins a night, I just dance. Instead of cutting out everything I love to eat, I just cut my portions. Yes, I do eat salad occasionally, but it’s not my thing. I personally don’t care to drink water. But, I started drinking juice instead of just soda and limit myself to 3 or 4 sodas a day. I lost about 145 lbs in 8 months! Then I got pregnant and gained 60 lbs because of having to take it easy. My daughter is almost 10 months old, and last month I started back to my old routine. So far, I’ve lost 20lbs! The only reason I want to lose weight is to feel better for myself and to be a good role model for my little one. If you want to lose weight, find a way that suits you! Make it fun! And don’t listen to other negative Nancy’s! I worked at a gas station while I was pregnant, and a customer that I hadn’t seen since before I got pregnant came in. He had lost weight, so I complimented him. He looked at me and said well it looks like you found everything I lost! I told him well I am 7 months pregnant! Idk why people are like that, but I do know that you shouldn’t listen to them. I hope you have a great time in high school! Don’t skip a single thing! Make sure you have fun and enjoy as much as possible!
hey… I knew i was fat and I hated it. I also have severe anxiety and missed 2 months of school. today I felt confident, It was stressful but I was happy. I endured hearing people call my bestfriend hot and cute all day. during lunch a fat year 7 boy went up my friends I was wondering why and I immediately thought he liked my friend since she does get asked out from boys in yr 5-12 no cap and I asked him “why are you talking to us?” (additionally I heard him telling my friend that she shouldn’t eat ice cream because It will make her fat) This kid looks at me and says I look fat&ugly. even proceeds to say my acne was worst than the bathroom floor I even go myself a nickname! “chonky monkey” I was lost with words I was angry because some kid is making me feel bad about how I look. I held it in til the siren went.. last period I finally cried and all my “bestfriend” could do was look at me and make it about herself
ayyy… if you have a friend like that, even if it’s hard, let go of her. friends are there to make you feel loved and cared about. if she can’t do that, what’s the point of having a friend. i had depression and still do with no one knowing about it. don’t hurt yourself for someone else’s extremely stupid standards. you could find friends or even enjoy time alone! if I were you, I would want to move schools but this only shows how strong your willpower is. tbh the only people who are nice are people who learn not to hurt others from their own experiences. even if being called fat is the worst thing ever, it will only help you grow.
fat is a dumb word because no one is fat!!!!! i hope you can heal and love yourself.
Yes! It really does hurt when I get called fat my mom calls me big and compares my body to hers she also points out my stretch marks and I feel body shamed It makes me feel really terrible and makes me loose confidence and makes me wants to cry I’m only 14 and I shouldn’t feel this I should feel loved for who I am in fact like 15 minutes ago my dad jus said all I like to do is eat and said jokingly “ What do u want some Taco Bell “ but i only eat one actual meal a day.!
Oh ! Same for me . My brother always say that all I do is eat and sleep . Nothing else . Even I eat just once a day .
Today at school I got told I was fat and needed to go on a diet..people don’t get that words hurt
I’ve been called fat since young , I even remembered when I was 6 and my dad told me to stop eating so much and the look on his face, was so hurting. my parents constantly remind me not to overeat and watch my diet and growing up, I constantly get called out by my friends as well for being fat. That should never be the way. I hope people learn that their words hurt and they should really watch their words because honestly looks and size doesn’t matter if you’re ugly on the inside
Hi, so I’ve just turned 15 and in the last 3-4 years whenever I visit anyone in my family but especially the cousins on my mums side they always tell me I need to lose weight because apparently I’ve grown fatter but there is one specific person on my mom’s side, my younger cousin who keeps calling me fat everytime like we can be talking about some other things and then she’ll call me fat. I’m tired of her and I’m tired of them calling me fat every single time
Hi um I’m Tanya and I’m 10.I searched up “what to do when you are call fat” I’m little overweight and trust me I tried everything but not allot seems to happen. Earlier one of my friends were really mean today he kept on calling me names like fat bird, a big chicken, fattest girl in the world and when I removed him he messaged back saying I’m a scared wimp. I’m just scared from names it will got to high bullying..
hi im manusha and im 12 almost 13 im pretty big for my age and i never really cares ever since i was 8 i have been body shamed by my own parents and relatives they and it really hurts one day o wrote a letter to myself and hid it and my mom found it and she started crying saying she was sorry but then the next day as soon as i come downstairs she says “change you look fat in that shirt” i have been dealing with this for so long and it brings my self-esteem down
I’m a 15 year old girl, I’m 4’11 and 140 pounds. My passion is anything culinary and I aspire to travel the world to eat the tastiest food XD. When I was younger I would make and eat whatever I wanted and I was a pretty skinny kid. As I started to grow older, I would notice a bit more fat on my bones but thought nothing of it. When I was 11 i met an old church friend of my mother whom I knew when I was around 8. I still remember the way my heart dropped when she scanned my body up and down and said with shock on her face “wow! I haven’t seen you in a long time, you got bigger”. My sister jokingly looked at me and said “yeah, she grew sideways”. It felt terrible, I thought I was pretty, never pretty as my two older sisters but not ugly. It was at that moment I grew self-conscious of my short height and weight. Growing up, I’ve always stayed the same height and started to gain a few more rolls. My parents used to say, “you’re a growing girl, just eat whatever you want, your beautiful” but as I grew into high school they started to look at me critically and casually tell me that I look fatter today, maybe I shouldn’t eat another cookie, exercise more, etc. Their offhand way of hurtful words made me look at myself with disgust and ask myself why I couldn’t be better, pretty as my sisters, perfect like the popular girls at school. I became too shy to go to school in anything than a big sweater or talk to people. I started to laugh about my weight and joke about it when people talked about how fat I was as my way of coping. My dad would come out of his room and cry “look at you! Your getting fatter and fatter” and I would reply with a tap on his belly and say “The chef must eat her own food” with a smile on my face. I’m still struggling with my weight, I tried to stop eating, eating less, eat selective food, follow exercise routines, the whole shebang but once someone told me I looked fat or I grew again, I would stress eat as I cried secretly in my room. This created a cycle that I struggle to get out of. Tbh I’ve lost hope and made countless excuses to myself but I can’t seem to work up enough to change.
Hi, Star. I’m sorry you have gone through this but please know you don’t have to change yourself. Sure, if you want to improve your relationship to food, that’s great; if you want to incorporate more movement into your daily routine, that awesome, but please know that there’s nothing WRONG with your body. Remember that other people’s comments on our bodies are PROJECTIONS of their own insecurities. When they look at you and comment, they really are revealing how they see themselves. You are worthy of love and happiness and kindness and all that fatphobic bullshit isn’t your burden to carry.
Hi I’m audrina I’m 10 years old you might think “she’s to young to do this” but i get it it sucks getting called fat and guess what it even hurts when your best friend calls you that plus why does size matter or weight no one deserves to be called fat,ugly,or even the b word
Audrina, there is nothing wrong with you. You are completely right, it does suck when others call you fat, especially your best friend (Consider putting distance between yourself and that friend, that’s toxic) but please know that when people call you fat, they are not actually talking about YOU, but rather they are talking about themselves and they are revealing the insecurities they have about their own bodies. You have SO much ahead of you, do not let this bring you down. You are worthy of love and affection and happiness and kindness.
Ughhhh idk know how to say this it’s hurts me a lot that my own blood brother called me dirty fat bitch ughh it made me cry so much cause it hurts me that my own brother called my “dirty fat bitch “ I’m so tired of my weight 😓
Im 13 and i weigh around 64 kg and my height is 5’5.I’m very sporty.i play soccer,basketball and I also do track and I box and I even workout at home cuz I want six packs anyways so everyday my family makes a rude comment about my appearance like today my sister out of nowhere goes like you are very very enormous and then me and my sisters were making a tiktok and they were wearing shirts that were showing their stomach so I decided to do the same but my elder sister goes like ew cover ur big fat stomach no one wants to see it.comments like these really really hurt.i even remember one time my classmate he randomly just says to me that “you’re gaining weight so I think next year zimal(she’s my bsf)will come first in sports day”that really hurt me and I still think about it till this day.i remember another comment that my sister made,so one day my sister randomly asks me that what do I wanna be when I grow up I told her I wanna be a pro soccer player and then my other sister goes like Hahha she will look so funny while running with the ball cuz she’s so so so big and my other sister laughed.i even thought of killing myself because of the comments that I get and I still do this day get suicidal thoughts and I might commit suicide one day.i even tried skipping meals but my mom found out so she makes sure I eat now but even she makes rude comments aboout my Weight and even my betsfirend does. I don’t know what to do I think I’ll just suicide cuz I can’t take those rude comments anymore.bye;)
i understand you. these really hurt and i relate. ive been through that. just remember though.. you are actually amazing, you wanna be a pro soccer player?
go for it. do it! dont let anything stop you. you get back up and keep going. because what? because youre amazing and your worth it, appearnce dosent matter. thats only the outside, your worth it!!! and you mean a lot. you great! go out there, go out in the world and show what you got.
dont care what people think because you have a future ahead if you, enjoy that and dont let those words get to u, life is about enjoying it .
Omg thank you so so so much😭😭😭❤️
people bullied me as well.. even my own friends saying mean thing to me, and my siblings, ive been throught it ur not alone. i know dat feeling.
Yup it really hurts but hi you’re beautiful don’t let anyone tell u otherwise ❤️
You are capable of doing ANYTHING you want, push those mean comments away, and GO for what you want ur life to be, go be a soccor player, work hard and practice and remove those bullies. youre amazing, your worth it, you have meaning and i bet your VERY GREAT at soccor!!! i think you are gonna be great ! keep going, because those comments people make, its just a voice.. its just a sound, and you have the choice to listen to them or not. youre in control of ur life and dont let anyone twll you what u can or cant do. i belive you can. so go for it, do what u love, live ur best life.
Thank you so so so much.this really means a lot to me.🥰❤️❤️❤️
Me as a kid, I always struggled with gaining weight, I would keep eating but never gain weight Id stay a stick no matter what, people kept telling me to eat and look at the “big” girls in my class who had curves and already hit puberty alot before I did. So it was my only dream back then to gain weight and have that curvy” body . There was this time when I started gaining weight and was the happiest person on Earth , most of my cousins and friends around me used to struggle with the same problem and they still do now (they’re super skinny). So what happened is that when I started to look more like a “big girl” , my negative toxic cousins and friends around me started to hurt me and call me with certain names.. like a “cow” a “penguin” the problem was that I wasn’t even fat I was just growing up and getting curves.. and till this day they’re still struggling and when I passed the struggle they came at me trying to criticise me calling me “fat” for having curves even tho I’m skinny. It’s just my body has changed and now they envy me for this stupid reason.. they won’t leave me alone. Even my aunts and my relatives tell me ur getting fatter just because I have a really nice body that their daughters dream about. I’m sick of it. I’m only 56kg and my height is 177 cm, I’m just perceived as “fat beacause everyone around me is super skinny.
-167 cm
Sorry about that
It was when I was turned 16. I still am but I was really hurt when one of my friends told me that if I don’t lose weight, I would become a grizzly bear.. I cried because I had just lost weight and still got that comment. I detatched myself from him but since I’ve tried cardio to help myself and also to not give him the satisfaction of seeing his words effect on me.
I cried and got very angry
I started to feel fat when I was eight years old. Someone in my family made a joke about my stomach not being flat and I felt like I had been stabbed with a knife. A few years later when I was about ten, I started to get really bad grades so I turned to food. I was so obsessed with trying to be good at something so I would challenge myself to eat. For example…. if my dad had two bowls of pasta then I would have three. This went on for some months until I decided to weigh myself. I was twelve at the time and I weighed 65kg!!!!
I remember staring into the mirror and bursting into tears. I also remember I would stop eating for days and felt like shit all the time. A few weeks after not eating I weighed 48 kilos, but I felt ashamed with myself. Why were all the other girls skinnier? How did they do it? I have never been obese but I have always have been a little bit overweight. Please don’t do what I did and stop eating. In my opinion eating healthy and exercising is a better way of slimming of pounds.
youre still so amazing and that still isnt gonna stop you from doing what u love, right? so keep doing, keep going, whatever it is u want to be, or do.
job, or goals, anything. your capable of urself ur in control and no one else is in control of u right? so if no one else controlling u, whats holding u bak? go out in the workd and show what u got man, go do it, whatever u want. enjoy ur life and maybe do sth new, sth fun, it dont matter, go b urself, bc ur so amazing!
dont let those bullies get to u, u know what UR worth, and ur the most precious.
Thank u sm♥️
I’m also a plus sized girl and I hope and wish that more could just accept the way we were made today a 4 year old boy asked me why im so fat, i had tears, but I didn’t want to cry because i thought I was strong
I’m young… let’s just say I’m under 16. very recently, a girl in my class who is ‘teachers pet’ and a ‘snitch’ called me fat. it was indirect, a drawing of a fat stickman with my name at the top of the page, but i was hurt. i can’t stop thinking about it. before that, i knew that i had excess weight, or at least i saw excess weight – but anytime that i said ‘I’m fat’, a friend or family member would deny it and say how skinny i am. maybe i believed it for a bit.
but since that terrible girl called me fat, i can’t see myself the same. my self esteem has dropped, significantly, and all i see in the mirror is fat. i try to not eat and do lots of exercise but i get nothing out of it… what do i do now? i hate myself so much because of how i look, but now its so bad i just want to cease to exist. or something of the like.
i even told the teacher about the incident. she took the other girls side.
I’m 16 and one of my biggest insecurities is my body. Yesterday I stayed after school to study with some friends and one of the guys told me out of no where that there is a group of boys that keep calling me a fat f*ck. Over the years I have been told that I’m fat a few times by just random people. Most people say that I’m not fat at all and I didn’t think that I was which makes it hurt so much more. I don’t know what to do or how to act anymore.
Just about a week ago, at lunch my friend made a shortcut from her phone(basically changes the photo of the app cover) and she put my face on there. At lunch, she told me click on the app and it showed a weight tracker/diet app. That was when i was most hurt but i brushed it off and laughed at it. Normally my friends would say that i was the heaviest or ur the biggest out of us here and they were right. I knew who i was and how big i am, but having someone tell you that u need to loose weight hurts. My parents would already constantly tell me that i was so pretty when i was a baby, but since i gained weight, they have just been criticizing me. Having another person do that to me doesn’t help. Later that night i couldn‘t even go to sleep because of her comments on my body. I know i need to loose weight and i that i don’t have a skinny body like yours. But that doesn’t give you the right to make comments on my body. The reason why i wear baggy clothes is because i don’t want anyone judging me and my physical appearance. My weight is my biggest insecurity and having one of my closest friends pointing that out really affected me.
I’m 12 and I’m in year 7. I had made what I thought was a great friend. But then she starts saying some things thought were jokes. But there was one thing she said that rlly hurt. One day I decided to go to homework club with her, since she always goes alone. We were sitting down on these cushion seats that were against the wall. She had to get past me since she was against the wall. When we finished our homework she went to get a board game. As she past me she said, “Ugh lucky I’m skinny…unlike you”. I didn’t say anything. To make matters worse…she left me 20 minutes early. So I was sitting alone holding back tears. I’m pretty tall. I weigh about 70 kilograms. I haven’t forgotten about it. I am wondering what I should say to her if she body shames me again.
hi! i have a very similar problem like you aswell, im also 12 and in year 7 and also pretty tall, and i also weigh around 70 kilos! My friend said i was “too fat” as a joke and laughed it off and so did i. She is still super nice to me but i never forget about it. What I learnt is that to love yourself. You are beautiful no matter what and you shouldn’t listen to her. If she body shames you again, tell her that it’s none of her business about what she has to say about your body. It’s YOUR body and she should maybe focus on her own then comment on somebody elses. Let her know that what she’s saying is hurting you and if she doesn’t stop, talk to someone. I know how it feels, you feel ashamed and embarrassed to tell anyone. If you don’t have anyone to talk to, you can talk to me. She might be saying these things to you because she might even be insecure about her own body. We never know unfortunately but all you have to know is that you should love your body and no one’s opinion should matter. You’re beautiful and i love you 🙂
I got called fat by an internet troll literally MONTHS ago, but I cannot forget it. From the time I was 5 or 6 I’ve always struggled with my self imagine. So when someone points out what you’re insecure about, it really hurts.
i get called FAT alot by my brother even though i don’t think i’m fat but i’ve learned to ignore my brother this article helped me with my emotions
Omg I feel you! I am skinny/healthy but my brother is,like, super thin.1 day I leaned down, He put his legs down before and I accidentally fell on him. He said you’re so fat. After that I told him we may be Sibling s biologically but theoretically you are nothing like me also I told him thanks for ruining my day.
i got called fat today for the first ever time today and it way by my friend she called me a fat f**ken bit*h, i am nearly 13 and when this happened i acted like i didn’t care. but really i do care, its broken my heart. i really trust my older sister and shes helped me though this, reading this has really helped me and from now on im going to be PROUD of myself and i’m going to stand tall.
I understand all of this it really hurts me when people call me fat and I cry about it I say man am I ever going to get a boyfriend or even be able to go swimming without somebody seeing my stomach. I always wore big clothes to hide it. Then over the years I just learned to live with it and ignore all the negative people and thoughts
Its a very interesting story it happens to me alot i try not think it but it hits me like so suddenly its sad
I’ve been overweight for over 20 years. The last decade I’ve been obese. I’m 275 lbs and I don’t care if someone calls me fat because I am. That’s something I can control. If it bothered me so much, I would lose weight.
I suppose I can understand if someone with thyroid issues, but I also wonder about that. I had a friend who claimed she has thyroid issues and that’s why she was overweight. Okay fine. She has since lost 80lbs going on a diet. No meds. So, I don’t believe that she’s the only one to use that excuse. Maybe that’s also because I’m from the Show Me state and I have a hard time taking someone’s word every time.
For me I am just very confused. I developed early, I had large very large breasts by at 10 and huge thighs like a full hour glass, I started trimming in my teens but still had the full breasts, and hour glass and thighs. I have a tiny waist and small flat stomach. From my teens into my 20s I struggled with diets, eating disorders and even had liposuction on my thighs and hips. And people kept calling me fat in my ADULT life, not in my childhood or teens. So I started dieting and having eating disorders, always weigh only 115 pounds at 5 foot five. so after the liposuction I was still called “heavy” and almost had a mental break down. I went down to 90 pounds, still called me fat, I was fitting in a size 0. Still strangers calling me fat and seems like the thinner I got the more I was called cow, heavy fat. And there are times there is no way in hell I am remotely fat but at the gym, walking in a super market, at work, at restaurants people whisper “cow’ or “heavy” at me non stop for YEARS and at this point I am pretty small. i am not flat chested with pencil thin thighs but SMALL and they never stopped calling me fat. So when do you know when people are using it as a all purpose insult to try to make you self destruct, be insecure and hurt you oppose to critism? because regardless how small I got they still called me fat, people much bigger even when I was in a size ZERO they act like I am obese
i was hurt on valentines day by my husband he sayed to me that the reason we dont have intemesie is because hes not atracted to me ,cause i got fat.keep in mind hes not brad pit hes 300 pounds and me i gaind 30 pounds yes since i met him ,but i still look good ..out of all days valentines day 2020….i love myself and i know by me loving me i will not let myself drop cause a guy tried to do that to me.
Please help me. I am 11 and am always being called fat in some way by my classmates, every single day. Even if I tell them to stop they don’t. Even my parents say things to me like ‘hit the gym’… I really could use some help to tackle this problem.
hi roxy, im nevaeh and im 13, i got called fat for the first ever time today and its not nice, when those people at school call you fat you say to them ‘yes i may be big but at least im proud of myself and i love myself’ good luck and believe in your self xx
Hi Roxy!
I understand what you are going though. I was first called fat at the age of 8 so I know it hurts. Have you ever considered talking to your parents about how much it bothers you? Your classmates don’t sound very nice but I think that If you keep your head high and a positive attitude they will eventually stop. I hope people stop judging you and that I was able to help.
Yes! I have the exact same story! I am a 11 year old boy and is called fat all the time! I need help!!!
this was my first year of middle school so 6th grade and all the kids at school would make fun of me for not having a phone. until one i asked my mother “can i have a phone please if you have the money” she said “I’ll buy you a phone if you lose 30 pounds” that hit me like a rock to the face and i thought does my mother really think im fat and since that day i feel so insecure to even be too close to people because i feel like they are judging me in their head.
Hi my name Is Jaxon YES I am a boy and am fat and I have been called fat for basicaly been teased my whole life and if anybody will give me help I will gladly listen.
Hi, I’m 19. Male. Growing up i was skinny. Around 17 or 18 years old I started growing weight. Now everyone noticed that I gained weight and everyone’s saying that I am “fat. Now I am insecure about the way I look. At first I was eating my feelings away because it really hurts. Then it got to the point where i look at myself in the mirror and i get disgusted with the way I look. So, i changed my way of eating. I don’t want to be called fat. I tried doing home workouts but I think that it’s not working so I stopped. Now I skip meals and sometimes dont eat anything at all. I dont know if there’s something wrong with me.
Bro on god you were just a little chubby. Chill out.
My fiancee thinks I am bigger than I should be I have had issues with my back and hernias too he just wants me to be healthy my new years resolution was to be healthy. I work 2 physical jobs plus I have been doing zumba too. But still he says he doesnt like what he sees. I just want to me confident enough so that what he says doesnt effect me and that I can do what I have set out to do this year. But my confidence has been shot. HELP!!!!
My supervisor at work called me jokingly a heffa today. We are pretty close and I know that she was just teasing me but it still hurt when I found out what it means – English is my 2nd language, first I thought it meant just b**** not cow. When I went home I cried my eyes out, I feel horrible and devastated. I’m 5’5 and 200 lbs.
Whenever someone says the word “fat” I think they’re talking about me. I’m not exactly “plus size” but for my height, I’ve definitely packing some extra pounds and I know it. It’s enough for me to be unhappy with my body in the mirror already, but seeing my friends who are much more toned than me call themselves fat, and then hearing some comments from strangers or former friends about me being fat is so daunting. I also hate being called “thick” as a compliment, just because I hate the shape of my body and I truly hope nobody would notice it every time I step outside. I want to be able to accept my body and keep pushing myself to work out consistently like I used to, but it gets completely discouraging at times.
In 7th grade a kid younger than me called me a whale. I really struggled with that comment. The other day (I’m in my senior year) someone was talking to me and said the word whale very loud and clear (they weren’t calling me fat, the word just had to do with the conversation topic) and I literally flinched. That word actually triggered me, I just felt an enormous tightness in my chest and wanted to run out of there and cry. Please don’t comment on someone’s appearance. It can really mess them up.
Two years ago i was talking to a guy i really liked and out of nowhere he says that it would never work between him and i because i was “too fat for him”, To this day i still get upset thinking about that moment.
I am really sorry and I hope you are okay☺
my fiance jokingly called me fat but she knows its a touchy subject im a 20 year old ex anorexic and ive put on a couple pounds in the past year….i dont know how to feel about it especially since she knows me and she know how i feel about there are some times ive had trouble looking at myself as of late god i just really dont know what to feel am i justifies in feeling insecure or should i just take it at face value as a joke
Definitely got called that when I was younger and a little bit in high school. I never felt like I fit in with the others because they were ‘better’ or ‘skinnier’. I felt so bad for myself and the word hurts me to this day. However, I forgive everyone who did. It’s most hurtful when it comes from your family, but what can you do. Forgive and forget :,)
Even though I lost 108 lbs over the past 3 years, and I’m under 200 lbs, I still get called fat. It’s very rude and disgusting to be called fat…and most of these people were bigger than me at my lowest weight of 306 lbs.
I was called fat at school and it made me feel of my dog that past away
this year alone I’ve had about 8 strangers tell me to my face that I am overweight, all starting with a man saying I am ‘very overweight’, and grabbing my arms telling me they were ‘very fatty’, and then asked me if I exercise at all. I wore a dress that exposed my arms a little, so naturally I always wear a jacket now. to today, when out walking, another stranger walks past me and says ‘good morning dear, a little overweight are we?’. where do people, complete strangers, get off at telling people to their face they’re fat, they’re overweight, they’re not ‘enough’?
Today at school i was called fat by someone fatter than me 😤 Idiotic
today at school I got called fat it hurt the most cus all of my friends are skinny in my opinion I don’t think im fat im just tall but I think it hurts knowing that fact I can’t get over it or forgetting about it
I was just chatting in my what’s app grp and then i said -” bye guys I’ll be back in some time I’m gonna had dinner” then one of my friend said -” NO DON’T COME, IF YOU’LL COME THE GATE OF OUR GRP WILL BREAK CUZ OF UR FATNESS! ” Nd trust me tht line hurts me like hell! I cried nd look myself in mirror nd start saying tht whyy whyy whyy? Ppl always troll me I’m just a lil bit chubby, tht doesn’t mean tht you’ll troll them….every time, is it imp to troll a prsn? I’ve just tht I’m gonna hve dinner ttyl nd she just said tht…to the one who troll chubby peeps! Atleast first think tht they also hve heart, they also hve emotions they r not statue tht you’ll say anything nd they’ll listen nd forget it hurts
My brother called me fat, and that hurt more than i was expecting. I’m not even fat nor have i had issues with weight. It also came out of the blue, i was surprised, angry, and hurt. I’ve tried to talk to him about it and why calling someone fat is not ok but he doesn’t care. Idk, I’m trying to keep my head high.
My brother doesn’t say I’m fat but he means it! He says things that mean I’m fat and that make me feel horrible about myself! He takes pictures of me and sends it to someone that’s cute and it makes me want to cry and I’ve told him that and he doesn’t care! My mom does nothing about it and he doesn’t change! What’s the freaking deal?
my own little brother called me fat and it hurts so bad
Hi Riley,
I hope your brother stopped calling you fat! I know how it feels like to be called, fat,cow, whale…. Just remember to keep your head high. You have nothing to be ashamed about. XXX
The same thing happened to me. He tried to turn it into a joke and apologised but it didn’t make me feel any worse about myself
My friend called me fat once. I was sitting down eating my lunch with her and another girl and she just out of the blue said I was fat. She did it a second time about 2 weeks later. She would always say ‘just kidding your only chinby”. Even that hurt my feelings.
I got called a fat loser on Instagram from just stating an opinion on a post. It really hurt because I really hate how my body looks. It doesn’t matter what I do or how I workout I can never get it to how I want it. I actually came to this article to feel better and it does help knowing that I’m not alone. Thank you.
I got called fat today… By my 10-year-old younger brother. He said, “You have a big butt!” And I said that was really mean to him, and all he said was, “Why does that offend women so much?” I tried to explain, and told him that it’s calling someone fat, but he continued to ignore me. The only way I can get him to stop calling me fat is to threaten to tell my mom. And, even when I do tell her, she doesn’t do anything about it! I am sick of being called fat and I’m not even that chubby. I’m a normal weight for my age.
There’s my story…
One of my closest friends texted me today( a guy friend) and so I had a crush on him for two years and he tells me in the summer. And he is like “I actually like you” and me with my low self confidence is like what? Why? Ew no that’s dumb. And then after he’s said “I’m kidding lol it was all fake I’d never date a f**king fried donut” I know it’s dumb and all and it shouldn’t matter but yeah it hurt bad
Hello some of my ex family member call me fat laugh make fun of me it hurt bad. so i said to myself cut them off because they are toxic to my life and i dont need that or them
Hi part of my family won’t stop body shaming me ever since I was little it always been I look bigger I need to loose some weight
I don’t know if I’m as heavy and I think I am. I got a message from someone recently who called me fat and ugly for no reason. It hurts. One of my friends used to joke around calling me a whale, or if I were to get into a fight I’d win because I would just sit on them. Not to mention I’m 5’11 and 16 years old. So I’m also insecure about my height. I’m so insecure that when a guy wants to be with me I can’t, I push them away even if I like them. I stand in the mirror sometimes for hours and just say bad things about my body. Someone once tagged me in a post that said “I’d be cute if I wasn’t fat” And they thought I would laugh. I struggle from depression, and really bad anxiety. But you would never know because I always smile and are outgoing. I just wish that I could cut some off with some scissors. I just wish that having a little chub, or a lot wasn’t considered ugly, you can have a lot of chin and still be healthy. Everyone is beautiful if they have a beautiful heart. Everyone is amazing.
I can relate to this so much and wish it would change but I can’t do much about it! I used to exercise with my dad when I lived with him but after I moved in with my mom she can’t stick to a diet and it’s difficult because my dad always pushed me!
I can totally relate to this. I also struggle from anxiety but I hide it well.
I am no where near being a “confident” person. I don’t hate anything about myself except from my body. Every time I get into an argument with my sister she calls me fat. And it litrally hurts more than I can explain but every time I try bringing it up my mum and my sister just say “stop being an attention seeker” I’m at the point now where I try to avoid looking at my stomach in the mirror because it genuinely makes me upset. I’ll do anything to adjust the way I get changed so I don’t catch view of myself because that’s how much I have grown to hate my body. And my sister is the main source of all my insecurity. I’m genuinely scared to stand up for myself on an argument with her because I’m terrified she’s will call me fat or fatty.
If I ate as much as I wanted to, I would be a 300lb bowling ball, but instead i’m 12% body fat, so if this bothers you that much, learn to not eat as much food as you want, just don’t. the other thing you can do is eat extremely low-calorie foods so you are so bloated you cant eat. just live on melons,berries, green vegetables and beans and NO oil,nuts,animal products, grains, dried fruit, bannan’s, plantains, or processed sugar. however for it to work, you will have to do it for ever. so do one of those two things(change diet or deal with hunger) or both(I do a combination of the two) and this problem will go away.
I’ve been crying constantly since my sister in law called me fat and I don’t know what to do… I can only try not to eat and forget but I can’t. My husband defends her saying she meant I was buff but she literally said out Loud that I’m fat. It sucks because even my husband who I wish more than anything can tell me otherwise, is agreeing with her.
My mom call me fat and ugly and my dad too I cry every day my cousin and my brother hates me I just have myself I can’t pass my regent test because of those hateful word my mom wanted to take my brother to vacation and I stay home by myself then I call my aunty she talk to my mom then my mom said ok I have 1 more week to go to vacation but they don’t want me to go every day when I wake up they have to say mean things to me and they compare me to other people In school my friends are so friendly they the one who understand me
My mother in law is weight obsessed. I have poly cystic ovarian syndrome and metabolic syndrome. Weight loss is futile because my body doesn’t work right. She is rude and discusses my weight and everyone else’s to include how much you eat, what you eat, etc.
I am really hurt and upset right now i cant say how i feel 💔 all my frnds and family call me fat i know i am a bit fit iam like 10lbs more than the ideal weight and my sister is soo thin and every single person compares me with her … I also thought to go to the gym sometimes but these people comment on me hurt me and talk about me in front of me like idont even exist …every person i know tells me to go to the gym .. but i dont like to do it because they said it .. i dont wanna do it for anybody else but me
My friend called me fat once. She said it was an accident but it just really made me think that maybe she meant it. She obviously didn’t want it to be said right because she just sort of blurted it out. I’m 13 and I hate being in photos just because I look fat and what my ‘friend’ said really hurt me.
I was just watching my best friend’s older sister go on snap send a picture of me and ask her boyfriend if he would date me. (W out me knowing) he responded with “he doesn’t like big girls” I’m hurting and don’t know what to do. I feel like crying but I can’t cause she is right next to me.
i went on a app that u could talk to people on and this girl straight up called me fat and ya so
I was always chubby growing up but was never really aware of it until i was around 8 and a neighbours son and my brother started teasing me and laughing at me about. I was mostly hurt by my brotgers teasing. They said they were going to start calling me fatty and a new school we started and i begged them not to.
True word the next day it happened in the playground in front of everyone. I remember being frozen on the spot as more and more children got involved chanting fatty. I cried.
The bullying from my brother continued until i was a teenager, it got to the point where it was daily. On several occasions I lost it and beat the hell out of him. Even that just fuelled his need to ridicule me further. People would always say your much bigger than him and it hurts.
Being bullied by family members hurts worse.
My weight never improved it got worse.
I’m 38 now since mobidly obese, i have PCOS and no self esteem amongst a whole array of other things
I was at lunch at school, and this girl came up to me and wanted to start a problem with me. she went on and on about random stuff. I wasn’t paying attention to her until she said: “and oh, one more thing, at least when I wear crop tops my FAT rolls don’t go over my jeans”. It sucks because I already have self-hate for my body and someone just had to come over to me and say that really rude and disrespectful comment. now I will never wear a crop top to school ever again and will never see the girl in the same light EVER again.
I’ve been called fat only because I have a big butt and I am naturally curvy. I was never over weight growing up, just had a big butt from the moment I was 12. I was told I should stop eating so much, that I had a fat ass… then once I reached high school, my thighs got a little bigger (but they were always a little bigger) and I got so many comments on my butt and thighs… and recently at work one of my coworkers called me a fat ass, and he’s male… I have grown tired of it after all these years and I don’t let it affect me anymore. I used to critique myself in the mirror just as you mentioned and sob over it. But I am proud of my body and I know I am healthy and 100% not overweight. I workout all the time and I’ve come to the conclusion people are just jealous! Don’t listen to the naysayers.
I work in Japan and EVERYONE is small or XS. So my size 24 self really sticks out like a bump out of spanx. “Why don’t you diet?” “Why are you fat” “how many hamburgers do you eat a day?” Are daily occurrences. I’m VERY tired of being the only one thinking that my size doesn’t matter.
Today, i was at the swimming pool with loads of my friends and i was wearing a usual swimming costume. My friends and I were splashing about when suddenly one boy (who I’ve known for 7 years) says “Come on fatty”. It is the second time he has said I’m fat and I think he thinks that it is a joke but it’s not to me. i just roll with it but i have this feeling inside which makes me wanna hide away from every person who can see me. But your right. The word “FAT” is not in my dictionary any more!!
I loved my self until about 2nd grade then I was bullied all the rest of my years and I’m only 13 in 7th grade so I haven’t loved my self since about 6 or 7 and I’m so gonna loose that word out of my vocabulary but I will never forget being called “fat” “ugly” “fat and ugly” everything they could call me they would and I had just got called “fat” a minute ago and know that I read this I legit do not care about what he said
I’ve been called fat by a lot of people including my dad and I have thin skin so hurt me a lot. Does anyone have any advice that what can help me?
I’m so very sorry! My husband calls me fat while in an argument and it absolutely devastates me. I lost 100lbs working out and go to the gym regularly but I’m still 200lbs and can’t seem to get anymore off. I think it hurts so much because we are already self conscious. I don’t think our weight defines us so we need to really work harder on not letting it define us as an insult too!? Good Luck!
I am 11. Literally four days ago, a boy called me fat. I have always struggled with feeling like the fattest person in the room, even though I work out 16 hours a week. Up until that point, I have dismissed the thought sometimes forgot to worry if it was true. Now, I feel like his words have confirmed that I am fat. I weigh 90 pounds, but I am very strong and have a visible six pack. I do have a little bit of fat, but everyone does. Now I think I was stupid to not realize I was fat, and I don’t know what to do.
Hi. I love you. You don’t have to explain yourself. You were fine before his comment, and you are fine now. Art is still art even when all the viewers have walked away and the museum is closed and the lights are off. I recently was called fat today and I’m crying at two in the morning because of a stupid comment. I’m sure you’d tell me that I’m beautiful the way I am, too, even if you don’t know me. Be you. There’s no one like you. Thank you for your bravery by leaving this comment. – Sophia
I just happened along this website… It is true, that you don’t forget. I grew up with a mother who would constantly remind me that I was getting that “double chin again”. At the time I weighed 135 pounds and was a teenager in high school. A few years later I developed an eating disorder that lasted through my twenties. I’m now 32 years old and am married to a spouse with NPD who told me this past weekend that I am “a fat, ugly C*nt”. I should mention that I am also 5 months pregnant right now. I was absolutely crushed. It took years to try to become ok with my body. Now, it just feels like the bad dream that never really ended.
for my school we have this thing called exhibition and it is really stessful so I wear my favourite hoodie most of the time, This guy working in my group said. “Why do you wear that hoodie all the time? Are you like pregnant or something?” and it really hurt my feelings. I have never considered myself fat but now I’m scared to wear anything else to school because I feel fat in everything.
This article honestly gets it right, it is hard to forget and even harder for me sometimes.. my brothers constantly call me. Fat bitch or a fat slut, playing it off as just messing around.. often times I feel like no one cares and that I’ll never be pretty enough so why even bother. It doesn’t help that I was raised to be tougher then that despite being a girl and that words shouldn’t hurt and if they do then clearly something is wrong with me. I don’t know that I’ll ever recover or be able to see myself as pretty ever again, because the insults don’t stop.. please, if anyone reads this I just ask that you don’t call anyone any sort of insulting name. It’s hard and it can wreck a person. It’s not wrong to feel hurt by any of this and I hope one day my own brothers realize it’s tearing me apart.
For my whole life in secondary school, 6 years, I got a new version of insults daily. I was an active person who ate healthier than most and was more into sports than most, but everyone, even my so called friends, took every opportunity to shame me for my body. To add to the pain it was a boarding school, which meant I had to go from being ridiculed at school to being ridiculed in the dorms, no break from my shame. I was shamed for have no tits or ass, then when I got tits I was shamed for being shaped wrongly, shamed for not being feminine enough, shamed for every spot on my skin, for every flaw I had. By the time I finished school I had no self confidence. At university I hated my body so much that I used paper to cover up all my mirrors so I wouldn’t see myself. I never wore anything that didn’t look like a bag on me, because I thought if people can’t see my body then they can’t talk about it. But as life would have it I found a sport I loved that helped me regain my body confidence and after years of work I finally started to build my self worth from scratch.
But today I realised how much being told about my body is still a trigger for me. Some guy at my office who honestly doesnt look like he has ever lifted a dumbell in his life told me today that I had added weight, and I immediately felt triggered. I’m 21 now, I go to the gym twice a week and teach dance classes 4 days a week, I’m more fit than I’ve ever been, and just one comment from a guy I dont even care much about has made me regress to being a teenager and being told by everyone what is wrong with me.
Instead of retreating into Myself again, this time I’m deciding to say fuck you. Fuck you to everyone who thinks they have the right to comment on my body, fuck you to every stupid man who spends their time noticing how much weight I’ve put on, fuck you to the ones who feel the need to say it out loud, fuck all of them. I love my body now, and honestly I’m almost certain that I could rock a little more weight if it came to that. However, I will not stop going to the gym, dancing or building my muscles to the body goals I have.
I realized today that the fuck you mentality requires daily exercise, daily use so it keeps getting strong. So I am grateful to the fool who decided to fuck up my morning with his bullshit comment, because I got an opportunity to work out my fuck you muscles. I am on my way to teach dance right now, and guess who I will not be thinking about while I’m enjoying my class? Anyone who has negative shit to say about my frankly gorgeous body.
In short, the insults do stop eventually, but there will always be someone with something to say. The only way to get through it is to activate your fuck you muscles and get to using them daily. I hope my story helps
I grew up always knowing I was fat. My doctor would tell me I was a pretty girl, but I’d be prettier if I lost weight. One visit, a different doctor looked me and my mother in the eye and said I was fat. I was constantly teased by older siblings, and experienced some name calling in elementary school. I’ve had ED and hate my body so much. Even now, being 23, I’ve been told I was pretty but fat by a Lyft driver and a potential suitor. I cried and to this day, I still revisit those memories. I don’t feel better and I don’t think I will. I find solace in my signfifixant other who loves my weight and has helped me keep from gaining, but every day I am aware of my size and try to lose it.
hey I’m in middles school and I’ve recently learned to love my body and seeing how the reason I have big thighs and shoulders was because I’m a water polo player but today my friend borrowed my sweater and was like to all my other friends “look how big this is” and being conident I was like it’s a medium an dshe was like ” oh mines an extra small and I almost burst into tears and recess i made her give me my sweater back and I was holding back tears and as soon as I got home I balled. Im better now that I’ve talked to my best friend about it but I want advice on getting to be confident after a knock down
well today in school one of my best friends was cold so I gave her my hoodie. It was a medium fit me not to loose not to tight. I gave it to her and I have always been bigger. when I was younger I had a lot of body fat but then I started to get more active and I’m still around the same size but more muscular. But I have her my sweater and she was walking and in front of most of my other friends she said ” look how big this is on me” and I was like its a medium and she has the same sweater and she was like ” wow, mines an extra small” after this i was on the verge of tears but I didn’t want to cry in front of everybody. throughout the day I forgot about it but it just went back into my mind when I took the sweater off and now I can’t stop crying. Im 13 and I hate that I already have self esteem issues if you have any advice about being more confident that’ll be noce
Since middle school I have dealt with body image. I’m 20 and in college and today my dad told me I’m getting wider that I need to lose weight and eat less. I fought back the tears and silently cried in my room. In high school and middle school I would always wear sweaters and hated the summer because my body would show more. I got really bad depression in high-school and by my senior year I lost 25 lbs. i lost so much weight because I would spend too much time crying and isolating myself. When my dad told me I was really big today, I felt like that same 13 year old girl. Don’t ever make someone feel insecure wether you’re joking or not.
I understand how awful it feels to be called fat, but if she really is bulimic, then she feels worse. You reply, “at least I don’t throw up my food to be skinny.” and stoop to her level. Eating disorders aren’t about vanity or that superficial. They’re really complex and I wouldn’t wish an eating disorder on my worst enemy.
When i finished fourth grade a boy came up to me and called me fat,from that moment i started crying and i wasn’t able to stop crying.I started to not eat any food and to start doing some dancing,but everyday i just felt like i am getting fatter and fatter.And as always my mother,father and everyone else is lying to me saying that i am not fat..
Being fat is not okay I just got called fat
Im currently 17 && i met this boy on the chatline and his name was chris so me && chris started talking or whatever and he sent me a picture of him but i didnt send one back because i didnt want him to judge me off my size……. so come to find out me && chris go to the same school && yes my first day there we were in the same class and when i noticed it was him i became so distracted . Like very distracted. So when we both had got home he called me and we started talking so i was like we go to the same school and i seen you today and he’s naming every body thats n his class but of course he didnt name me bcuz he didnt know my name && it was a couple of other new people in the class . So then he just started describing people and i was still saying no because he didn’t describe me . Then he said was you the girl i said wassup to ? And instantly my heart dropped it was me but of course i said it wasn’t because i wanted to see what he was going to say . So i said oh who was you saying wassup to ? And he responded oh no it wasnt even like that that girl was HUGE omg i was so sad and i didnt even know what to do ….. like omg i am already suffering with low self esteem, looks && depression && that really topped it off . Like people dont even understand the things they say to people . Like have u ever just feel like you put your all into everything && it still wasnt enough 🙁 god . Having thoughts that u could just change your body because no one liked it . Like just feeling like your not good or worthy enough . && it really sucks . Then just having random mood swings not knowing how u feel but just knowing you feel depressed && not even able to tell anyone because they wudnt understand .
I was in math class one day, I was in sixth grade at the time and this boy sitting next to me called me fat. Everyone at my table was shocked that he even said that. I tried to laugh it off, but then I just sat in the bathroom and cried for ten minutes. I don’t think I’m fat but I have multiple issues I’m trying to deal with on my own because whenever I try to open up with someone they just say that it isn’t true and don’t do anything about it. So him calling me that I never forgot and it was just so hard to deal with myself at that time. And this is why you should always be nice to people because you have no idea what they might be going through.
A boy in my school called me fat because I weighed more than another girl. I feel really hurt. What should I say?
My boyfriend called me a fat _____ tonight. We’ve been together since high school for six years. He has destroyed my self esteem. I feel too depressed to work out or go to college. I’m 23. I worked hard to have a 4.0 gpa. It doesn’t mean much to me bc I feel sad. I went from a low BMI to a BMI of 26. When I was a teenager your videos kept me flexible and happy while I played competitive soccer. I want to find the strength to watch your videos again. Your article reminded me why I felt empowered by your blog in the first place. I just want to feel happy again. I will have the strength to work out again. It made me feel much better. I just want this to stop.
I get called fat all the time but people say I’m not fat I’m thick but I don’t see it myself
I get called fat everyday at school by this girl named Salena Bonsjak. She tells me that because shes just thinner then me. When I tell her I’m not fat I’m thick. She replies “Mhm you must have a eating disorder if your that thick. And I reply “at least I don’t throw up my food to be skinny.” I don’t know what else to say so I always go with that.
I get told I’m thick all the time but I don’t see it myself people always call me fat
Well I am friends with this boy and I hang out with his family a lot and his little brother is constantly calling me fat. He says “move out of the way your too FAT!” I try and call him names back because he isn’t that much younger than me. It does hurt though because despite what my parents and friends say, it’s true I look at my self in the mirror everyday and want to change almost everything about myself. I know that i’m pretty, but I wish I was also 40 pounds lighter.
My bosses tells my other co-workers that I’m ‘XL’, at first I laughed it off, thought it was gonna be a one time joke. But it went on until idk weather to laugh or cry. It hurts even though it’s a joke. Sometimes oversized people can’t take jokes like that maybe bc of their past. And I understand.
I tried joking with my brother today he’s 20 and he yelled at me and told me to stop eating and that I was fat and then called me a bitch and I started crying. I’m 5’6 “ and 100 pounds I’m not fat but I’m 14 and idk why but I got so upset
Once in school I liked this boy but he didn’t know I liked him or he couldve idk but it was the first day I wore pants and not a skirt in school (this was y5 btw I still can’t forget it) we had to work in a team with him me and this other girl and I hear him whispering to the other girl “she’s soo fat eww” I acted like I couldn’t hear but I was moody all day and when I went home I cried my eyes out silently at night I still can’t forget it left a scar on me that I can’t forget and ever since I think of it and look at my body and I feel like I should rather die and why do I have to eat soo much , Ever since I developed sweaty palms from nervousness and anxiety.
People keep picking on us, we cant control that. But its not our concern to prove everyone. Just be honest with your self. What you really want is important. Always feel proud about yourself.
Hi I just got called fat by my family and was made fun of. It hurts and I have to go to school tomorrow but luckily I don’t get bullied.
My friend calls me fat and I hate it but I love my friend she is my only friend to I need help and when my dog does I won’t have him to cheer me up eny more and I need him should I leave my best and onley freaind 😢
Don’t dump your friend, instead pull him/her aside and tell the person how it makes you feel when you’re called this. It hurts. It makes you feel ashamed. It’s frustrating because you want to lose weight, but it takes work. It’s hard. Instead, tell your friend that you’re grateful that he/she is your friend and as your buddy to work out with you (such as ride bikes or go to a gym). Try that. Good luck.
Hi, um well I’m kind of new at this but I’ve always been bullied or you know talked about due to my weight… at first i tried to act as if it didn’t bother me but eventually after a few comments at school in front of everyone it’ll hurt. Usually i could take it if it’s just someone saying where there’s no one around but with a crowd of people that can hear what the other is saying about me and they laugh as if it’s the funniest thing out there my shield gets broken down easier then. It really hurts some times too like when I’m looking on the internet at before and after pictures of people and i ask my mom and sister which one am i and i find it weird when they pick the biggest person on there as if trying to knock me down even more when i know myself I’m big but not that big. And when i turn to my sister to ask which i remind you a bit heavier than me agrees with our mom and they both pick the slim one with a little pudge to go with my sister. When in reality she really don’t fit that image. I don’t know i guess it’s getting harder for me and i just need some advice my self esteem is so low i feel as if i have no more confidence in myself anymore and it hurts. And feels like all i can do is cry. I want to lose weight i really do. But the diets don’t work and when i work out a few weeks later i give up. I can never stick to it.
Today, my best friend said I was fat. She told me to lose weight. She said I have to be more active. and last night she was running around yelling “IM SO MUCH SKINNIER THAN YOU!”
I was just called fat 30 minutes ago and your story helps me , I still feel really nervous going into school tomorrow, any tips on how I can block out the horrible boy who judged me ??
same thing happened to me x I’ve just been called ‘ur fatter’ ‘jk’ it hurts tbh but you just have to try and believe the best in the situation.
It is very painful and hurtful when my family members like sisters, mom and husband say I am fat. I cried a lot and I hate my body.it makes me have low confidence.i know I gained a lot of weight after pregnant and delivered the baby. I gained 15 kilos and it is so hard to decrease. I am so stressful about my appearance and what people say about my body.
I am a victim mybgr called me fat and it hurt me feelings. She laying next to me and Idk what to do because my “obese heart” is so broken. Please hrlp
i’m often times called fat too. I have no idea how to handle it and dieting is just not working for me, it is very hurtful and insulting when people call me fat, but hey, what can I do about it?
I’m 28 and I haven’t spoken to or seen my Grandmother for at least 10 years. She was never interested in me when I was growing up. The times I did see her she would make me feel uncomfortable by the looks she gave me when I was eating. She would also make comments about how fast I ate etc. She has scared me and I do not want a relationship with someone like that. My mum holds it against me and says I should be the one to repair the situation but I don’t want to.
Actually, the first thing to losing weight is accepting that you are fat. Being fat is very depressing as i went through it. There are people there to help you, and you are not alone. My Gym teacher and I would have conversations on my body weight. He would comment and suggest the things that I should do to lose weight. Like a personal trainer. When i first started training with him he started to yell and scream at me with motivation. He brought my hopes up, and now well lets say I lost 40 pounds in 2 years and I am healthy and fit. I owe my gym teacher a lot.
I’m 18 years old and I’m in a college now. I used to be so skinny when i was younger, but i went to the hospital maybe twice a month or two months. And then my mom gave me a milk that can help me to gain weight. And since then, people always called me fat or make it as a joke. I was just fine at first, but its getting tough when I’m in a college. There are so many girls that can wear mini dress, or a tank top or even wear a skinny jeans with no-belly-fat. And your social life is depend on it. Many guy only ask you out if you have a nice body, or skinny. I think that skinny is a beauty standard nowadays, and that’s a pressure for me. That’s why I’m surfing at the internet at 2am now and looking for similar story. Maybe people will say ‘why dont you go on a diet?’. I have, I’ve been dealing with eat clean, diet, gymnastic for more or less 6 years now. I mean, it’s ok to be sad if you haven’t try all of that, but its different. I’ve put so many effort for 6 years and (maybe) i got nothing. I used to be skinny at junior high school. But you know, when I leave the gym, I gained my weight back or even worst. But after i read all of your story i feel so motivated. Sounds so cliche but i really mean it, thankyou. For you guys who read this, you are not alone. And you dont need to worry about how mean people are. They’re not going far, you are ❤️
hi i am 12 years old and have always felt uncomfortable about my weight and today one of my class mates called me a fat fish and i had enough and started shivering i am not fat but people call me it
I’m 11 years old and today at school a boy called me fat. I’m already very self conscious about my body, and his comment made me feel worse about my self. For the rest of the day I was silent thinking about his comment. It was taunting me. Although, these past few days I’ve been feeling better about my body, his comment really pushed me down again. My mom says I’m skinny and all, but when I look into the mirror I feel fat and I feel heavy. This subject is a really touchy subject for me. I always compare my body to others and am always preoccupied with what I consider to be ‘flaws’ in my body. I’m so self conscious to the point where if someone is looking at me, I literally feel like they are thinking and picking out my flaws. I try not to let people’s opinions about me affect how I see myself but it’s really hard.
Im also face many situations when someone told me fat or overweight its hurting and sometimes im depreesed i dont know how i can i lose my weight
I went to a funeral not long ago & of course as expected everyone was grieving. The only reason I turned up was because I wanted to give my condolences and offer an extra hand around the funeral. Only to have my Aunty and mum call me fat, in a very open place with a lot of people. This is the last thing I expected on a funeral. I’ve never been confident when it comes to my weight and no matter how many diets I’ve tried (the weight drops off for a few months) I gained it again. I can feel myself falling into this really negative cycle because I literally question everything, no matter where I go, it now takes me over 1hour to get ready because I am so focused on making myself look ‘skinny’ or as someone who doesn’t ‘weigh a lot’. I never thought these kind of comments would stick with me but it’s honestly shattered my confidence.
When I was 10 my parents divorced and my dad remarried to a lady and she would constantly make fun of me for my size. ( they wouldn’t buy me new clothes because they said that i was growing out of them to fast. they thought it was fat but it was puberty.) One day I walked up to her and said ” I need new clothes.” and she said “Why?” and I said “Because I’m growing out of them.”( I had these clothes for about 2 years) and she said “Stop eating.” That single comment scarred me for life and I fell into depression. I will never forget that comment and how that made me feel.
I feel really sorry for you. I know what it feels like to be called fat by a family member/stepmother
My mom told me I’d never find a good-looking, rich, boyfriend/husband because no one likes “fat” people. Yes I gained 5 kilos in a year, but it’s happy weight, and weight I mostly gained due to medications (anti-depressants). This hurt me a lot but I just brushed it off because I need to remind myself that my value isn’t based on a number.
But words can have consequences. My mom also used to call me that when I was younger (14ish) and I remember how much it hurt me. I had a very low esteem by that time and I just didn’t eat anything and would starve myself.
My crush called me the f word
My male friend called me a “big girl” with emphasis… it hurts. A lot. I don’t see myself like that, just a little over weight honestly… I don’t think her meant it in a malicious way but I just told him to shut up and blew the comment off. But it’s still bothering me. Whenever some one mentions my weight I want to stop eating.. I barely eat now because of the stress of my new job.. that comment from him will stick with me for a while.
I’ve always been told by my parents to watch my weight. For instance my dad saying I have to ‘ get rid of that stomach’ and my mom constantly sending me those “Foods to avoid” posts and “how to lose weight and keep it off”. I’m 19 now and I have been living with this at least since I was 12. Just recently I was told by my mom to restrict my diet after she visited me at college. This plus her saying I was basically going to get bigger and bigger if I didn’t start eating better. Sidenote: I am 19, 5’4, and 210 pounds so yes I am overweight but I have always had a mostly muscular build with basically a layer of fat lmao. The college I’m at requires a ton of walking so I always gain weight when I go home and lose it when I get back. I’ve been back for a month and my eating hasn’t been the best but I’m still (always) trying to lose weight. I actually came upon this article because I searched on google “Why does it hurt when someone tells you to lose weight” and tbh there’s no exact reason because everyone reacts differently. As a result of years of constant observation and self consciousness about the way I look I basically have zero body confidence. The only thing I can say to those that have actually been insulted based on their weight and told by their family to start losing weight is that everyone else can say as much as they want about you but its going to be you that chooses to listen to them or not. It’s always going to hurt but always reach out to others and try your best to find methods that work for you to overcome those types of rude comments.
im 13 and all my life I never thought I was fat. I mean I have no stomach its just my legs. there “thiccc” and theres boys that call me fat and really make me sad and I am currently crying a river of tears.
Kaitlyn,
just remebers that the past is in the past. If you don’t think your fat, he was just trying to make you feel bad. TRUST YOURSELF.
My husband’s grandfather just offered to pay me per lb to lose weight…he says he is thinking of my future and my health, etc. but it really just felt like a big ole “fat” to the face. I have struggled with depression my whole life, and this last year has been the best of my life. I’ve been off all medications and have been truly happy, and now with just that one comment, I can feel the mental spiral happening…
We were at a house party last night, and one of our friends just mentioned that I was fat, and here I am this morning crying about it. It is so easy for someone tobsay something and not even realize how much it can hurt someone else.
every time my aunt sees me she says i should start running. thing is i dont have the time. i have to study the whole day everyday because i need my results. i cant afford to think about anything else besides that, i gained weight for the first time because my time went into studying. im competing with the world for an acceptance in the best med school. and it hurts. anytime someone makes that comment it hurts. i know what im doing is right and i dont need anyone to justify it. but im beyond angry. these comments, are made by shallow people and they refuse to see for what im sacrificing everything.
Excuses. Have you seen your grammar. It doesn’t look like the studying is working.
Geez! This isn’t school so she’s being casual and probably intentionally chose to write like that. They’re her reasons not excuses. Don’t be so hard on people. Even if they were excuses, so what? How do “fat” people bother you?
Says the person who doesn’t know you put a question mark at the end of a question. It looks like you are a beginner at cyberbullying.
My brother always calls me fat. I know it is as a joke, but it hurts. I am overweight by a tad, and I love food. For him to say something like that to me, it breaks me. Snaps me in half. Never call somebody fat even as a joke. They could eventually lead themselves to an eating disorder.
Every time we have our family gatherings with other relatives I would always hear them saying about me being fat. Before, it’s okay for me when I’m call that I’m too big/ fat because I know it’s true but then nowadays it triggers me and it hurts me which makes me (I usually go to a room with no people and just cry it out). I really want to become slim but I always don’t have the motivation to workout. There are times that I would hear it from my family but they used it sometimes as a joke but I pretend I’m okay by laughing it off. And whenever I’m thinking about it my mind just makes me question myself. It makes me think that I’m not enough as a person and nobody sees me beautiful. It’s always my sister. There is this small amount of jealousy in me and I sometimes compare myself to my sister. Don’t get me wrong I love my sister it’s just that I there are times I compare myself to her. It’s makes me hard to love and accept myself entirely.
At first I was very weak and people always told me to eat once I started eating people always said stop eating your getting fat people don’t feel the pain until they suffer from it for 2 days I decided not to eat at all I got really sick because of that I won’t forget the pain given to me at that time
I’ve just been to my grandma’s house and my auntie and my grandma’s friend have already called me fat even they don’t even know I’ve been working out for 3 weeks, Sunday is my rest day so it means I worked out yesterday and they told me to join yoga classes. It hurts, when my aunt keeps asking me if I got a little fatter even if I already answer I haven’t. The last time I saw her I was 55kg, and 3 weeks later which is now I’m still 55kg it because of the outfit I wear. Just like the article I forgive but I will never ever forget it hurts it really does but luckily my 2nd auntie notices the different it really cheers me up! So please everytime you see someone having trouble with their bodies, do not judge because you don’t even know what they’ve been through they might just work out few hours ago how do you know? Of course you don’t because they don’t tell you. So don’t judge. Btw my words are so immature I know I’m 13. 🙂
I was called fat once or twice at school and it really hurt and even my family said I was loosing weight which made me happy but that just meant that they knew I was fat before
As a size 16 fit and healthy woman I today was compared to a sack of potato’s (I was horse riding at the time) apparently they felt sorry for the horse……it was said as a joke the only one laughing is the person who said it. I genius ly
I am hurt by this comment as it came from some one I thought respected me as a person
So my roommate sent me an email saying that I was being mean to him because he thinks I’m ugly on the outside and in my heart I knew he could never find me attractive. All that because I called him immature and shallow. It devastated me. I never cried so much in my life. I was in love with him and that was all I needed to hear to finally move on and take care of myself
I needed this today. I’ve always known I was on the bigger side of life but I’ve been feeling especially heavy lately and been really hard on myself for being bigger as I lost a lot of weight last year for prom and have recently quit dance. However today was the first time I’ve been called fat. I was at my boyfriends house and his little brother had a friend over too and me and my boyfriend were just kicking a ball about in the back garden and his brother and his friend came out. We were just minding our own business and I hear them sniggering but I just ignore it and then his brother shouts me and says “according to ____ you’re fat”. At first I just laughed it off in shock really but then it began to sink in and I tried to ignore it so I wouldn’t cry because I didn’t want to show him he had hurt me but I couldn’t get it off my mind so we went inside. My boyfriend then proceeded to tell his Mom when I just wanted to forget about it and she kept asking all sorts of questions about it and again I had to stop myself from crying. This really hit me as I’m very self conscious and socially anxious but I’ve just started to feel comfortable in my boyfriends house as they’re a very athletic family and quite well to do so I never really felt like I fit. it hurt because I was just being my natural self and for once wasn’t thinking of what people thought of me and the children are 8 which is also why it hurt as children are unfiltered and don’t think of what could hurt. I’m still shocked to be honest that someone could just come out with it and not think about the consequences but I suppose when you’re very comfortable in yourself and obviously very young you’re not constantly thinking about what you’re saying and how it could affect the people around you.
I had to get this off of my chest and I feel I have no one to talk to about it who understands therefore relating to how people also felt has kind of eased the hurt I’m feeling aswell as reading all the positive comments other people are getting.
I was once eating and a girl kept staring at me. So that night I went to the mirror and I realized I was fat. A close family friend came by and she remarked oh you are a little big and i just stared at her. Next time she said the same thing but a little ruder and ruder. I stopped eating and skipped a few meals thinkinng it would help but it didn’t. But I didn’t care. I always felt hungry and barely ate in front of guests, just sneakng some into my bathroom. I used to cry a lot but in publc I was always very normal. I just felt exhausted. It never helped. My friend said one day hey oh we should workout we could burn some of that fat of yours. 🙁 WHAT IN THE WORLD! My best friend wow. It got worse. My mom and grandma fat shamed me for so long and my brother called me obese and fat many times. I got tired. I asked my same best friend and acutally instead of shaming me she gave me tips and weight losing juices and things. I acutally felt god and she wasn’t meaning what she said about me being fat. I got better and my self esteem was somewaht good. But is still hated m y family hurting my own feelings. I can never forgive them unless if their sorry but I don’t know when thats going to happen cause that was 6 months ago. Oh and guess what? I’M ONLY 11
I’m 14, honestly very mature for my age, I wouldn’t call myself plus size, I am what someone would use the word “healthy” for. I don’t know.
When I was probably 8 or 9 years old, I was extremely fat. Overweight. And all. And at the age of 10, I got dieabetes, which made me lose alot of weight, and I became very underweight.
After 4 years now, I have gained over 150 pounds. Whenever I’m visiting the doctor, after every three months, I know I’m going to hear alot of it, because I know I keep getting fatter, even though I excercise probably 10 minutes each day (p.s The insulin I inject myself with 4 times a day, makes me gain weight).
My mom and I, never quite get along together. We have had many ups and downs. She has called me fat so many times, and it’d hurt me.
In every arguement she’d call me ugly, or fat (Although she’s more bigger than me, funny).
I have cried alot for being called fat.
I still cry if anyone calls me that, see it’s not just something you could shrug it off, even though I’m just 68kg, I still get called fat, and I know other women have it way worse.
I recently changed schools, and there is this one group of three girls, a trio, where this one girl, calls me fat alot. I mean, I laugh it off, but the pang of hurt that I feel, is uncomparable to anything.
My self-esteem has dropped so much over the past two or three years. But it stills hurts the same.
I can’t make myself love my body, you know?
I excercise every day.
Trying to get skinnier to please others.
It’s like all these inspiring quotes about “Your body is perfect” or “You’re flawless, and you should love yourself.” Has zero effect on people, well I can’t speak for anyone else, but it doesn’t has a single effect on me.
In pictures I upload online, on social media, I might look thinner than I really am, but when I’m hanging out with my friends from my old school, All I hear is “You look so much skinnier in pictures oh my god,” etc. But I try to laugh it off.
Today I was using my phone, I was at my grandmother’s house (My mother’s mother), and My mom said that my Dad’s mother (who all I have for is love) asked my Aunt, My dad’s sister, (Who could literally be a model), to not give me her clothes because I have become heavy.
Okay, so the thing is my Aunt lives out of the country, she’s super stylish and probably the sweetest person you’ll ever meet, so like I love her taste in clothes, so she usually gives me hers when they no longer fit her and trust me I feel happy recieving it. So when I heard today that My dad’s mother, asked her daughter to not give me any of her clothes because I have become heavier was really disheartening.
Because I have always loved my grandmother.
My mother, in defence, did say That the clothes actually do fit her, and she’s actually thin and just wears loose clothes.
But, the hurt, man.
My mother has told me countless times not to wear tight clothes like tops, or tights, because they’ll make my thighs look big, or my arms. And I throw a fit about it.
See, I live where there are illiterate people, everywhere.
There is no one speaking about body positivity anywhere, and all you could do is lose weight if you want to be popular, or to get more followers, or get boys to ask you out.
It truly makes me laugh.
And cry.
At the same time.
(Not that I haven’t been asked out by boys before online, as I said, I look way more skinnier in my pictures than in real life (no photoshop involved if you’re wondering that)).
See, I can be very judgemental myself. And I hate myself for that. But it’s like people have been so judgemental towards me, it just makes me copy their I’m 14, honestly very mature for my age, I wouldn’t call myself plus size, I am what someone would use the word “healthy” for. I don’t know.
When I was probably 8 or 9 years old, I was extremely fat. Overweight. And all. And at the age of 10, I got dieabetes, which made me lose alot of weight, and I became very underweight.
After 4 years now, I have gained over 150 pounds. Whenever I’m visiting the doctor, after every three months, I know I’m going to hear alot of it, because I know I keep getting fatter, even though I excercise probably 10 minutes each day (p.s The insulin I inject myself with 4 times a day, makes me gain weight).
My mom and I, never quite get along together. We have had many ups and downs. She has called me fat so many times, and it’d hurt me.
In every arguement she’d call me ugly, or fat (Although she’s more bigger than me, funny).
I have cried alot for being called fat.
I still cry if anyone calls me that, see it’s not just something you could shrug it off, even though I’m just 68kg, I still get called fat, and I know other women have it way worse.
I recently changed schools, and there is this one group of three girls, a trio, where this one girl, calls me fat alot. I mean, I laugh it off, but the pang of hurt that I feel, is uncomparable to anything.
My self-esteem has dropped so much over the past two or three years. But it stills hurts the same.
I can’t make myself love my body, you know?
I excercise every day.
Trying to get skinnier to please others.
It’s like all these inspiring quotes about “Your body is perfect” or “You’re flawless, and you should love yourself.” Has zero effect on people, well I can’t speak for anyone else, but it doesn’t has a single effect on me.
In pictures I upload online, on social media, I might look thinner than I really am, but when I’m hanging out with my friends from my old school, All I hear is “You look so much skinnier in pictures oh my god,” etc. But I try to laugh it off.
Today I was using my phone, I was at my grandmother’s house (My mother’s mother), and My mom said that my Dad’s mother (who all I have for is love) asked my Aunt, My dad’s sister, (Who could literally be a model), to not give me her clothes because I have become heavy.
Okay, so the thing is my Aunt lives out of the country, she’s super stylish and probably the sweetest person you’ll ever meet, so like I love her taste in clothes, so she usually gives me hers when they no longer fit her and trust me I feel happy recieving it. So when I heard today that My dad’s mother, asked her daughter to not give me any of her clothes because I have become heavier was really disheartening.
Because I have always loved my grandmother.
My mother, in defence, did say That the clothes actually do fit her, and she’s actually thin and just wears loose clothes.
But, the hurt, man.
My mother has told me countless times not to wear tight clothes like tops, or tights, because they’ll make my thighs look big, or my arms. And I throw a fit about it.
See, I live where there are illiterate people, everywhere.
There is no one speaking about body positivity anywhere, and all you could do is lose weight if you want to be popular, or to get more followers, or get boys to ask you out.
It truly makes me laugh.
And cry.
At the same time.
(Not that I haven’t been asked out by boys before online, as I said, I look way more skinnier in my pictures than in real life (no photoshop involved if you’re wondering that)).
See, I can be very judgemental myself. And I hate myself for that. But it’s like people have been so judgemental towards me, it just makes me copy their actions.
But then again, I’m just 14,I’m 14, honestly very mature for my age, I wouldn’t call myself plus size, I am what someone would use the word “healthy” for. I don’t know.
When I was probably 8 or 9 years old, I was extremely fat. Overweight. And all. And at the age of 10, I got dieabetes, which made me lose alot of weight, and I became very underweight.
After 4 years now, I have gained over 150 pounds. Whenever I’m visiting the doctor, after every three months, I know I’m going to hear alot of it, because I know I keep getting fatter, even though I excercise probably 10 minutes each day (p.s The insulin I inject myself with 4 times a day, makes me gain weight).
My mom and I, never quite get along together. We have had many ups and downs. She has called me fat so many times, and it’d hurt me.
In every arguement she’d call me ugly, or fat (Although she’s more bigger than me, funny).
I have cried alot for being called fat.
I still cry if anyone calls me that, see it’s not just something you could shrug it off, even though I’m just 68kg, I still get called fat, and I know other women have it way worse.
I recently changed schools, and there is this one group of three girls, a trio, where this one girl, calls me fat alot. I mean, I laugh it off, but the pang of hurt that I feel, is uncomparable to anything.
My self-esteem has dropped so much over the past two or three years. But it stills hurts the same.
I can’t make myself love my body, you know?
I excercise every day.
Trying to get skinnier to please others.
It’s like all these inspiring quotes about “Your body is perfect” or “You’re flawless, and you should love yourself.” Has zero effect on people, well I can’t speak for anyone else, but it doesn’t has a single effect on me.
In pictures I upload online, on social media, I might look thinner than I really am, but when I’m hanging out with my friends from my old school, All I hear is “You look so much skinnier in pictures oh my god,” etc. But I try to laugh it off.
Today I was using my phone, I was at my grandmother’s house (My mother’s mother), and My mom said that my Dad’s mother (who all I have for is love) asked my Aunt, My dad’s sister, (Who could literally be a model), to not give me her clothes because I have become heavy.
Okay, so the thing is my Aunt lives out of the country, she’s super stylish and probably the sweetest person you’ll ever meet, so like I love her taste in clothes, so she usually gives me hers when they no longer fit her and trust me I feel happy recieving it. So when I heard today that My dad’s mother, asked her daughter to not give me any of her clothes because I have become heavier was really disheartening.
Because I have always loved my grandmother.
My mother, in defence, did say That the clothes actually do fit her, and she’s actually thin and just wears loose clothes.
But, the hurt, man.
My mother has told me countless times not to wear tight clothes like tops, or tights, because they’ll make my thighs look big, or my arms. And I throw a fit about it.
See, I live where there are illiterate people, everywhere.
There is no one speaking about body positivity anywhere, and all you could do is lose weight if you want to be popular, or to get more followers, or get boys to ask you out.
It truly makes me laugh.
And cry.
At the same time.
(Not that I haven’t been asked out by boys before online, as I said, I look way more skinnier in my pictures than in real life (no photoshop involved if you’re wondering that)).
See, I can be very judgemental myself. And I hate myself for that. But it’s like people have been so judgemental towards me, it just makes me copy their actions.
But then again, I’m just 14, right?
You are so rude. Don’t come on here if you’re just going to take this as some sort of joke then insult someone about it. The ENTIRE point of this blog is to teach people how hurtful it can be to call someone fat
I’m 14, honestly very mature for my age, I wouldn’t call myself plus size, I am what someone would use the word “healthy” for. I don’t know.
When I was probably 8 or 9 years old, I was extremely fat. Overweight. And all. And at the age of 10, I got dieabetes, which made me lose alot of weight, and I became very underweight.
After 4 years now, I have gained over 150 pounds. Whenever I’m visiting the doctor, after every three months, I know I’m going to hear alot of it, because I know I keep getting fatter, even though I excercise probably 10 minutes each day (p.s The insulin I inject myself with 4 times a day, makes me gain weight).
My mom and I, never quite get along together. We have had many ups and downs. She has called me fat so many times, and it’d hurt me.
In every arguement she’d call me ugly, or fat (Although she’s more bigger than me, funny).
I have cried alot for being called fat.
I still cry if anyone calls me that, see it’s not just something you could shrug it off, even though I’m just 68kg, I still get called fat, and I know other women have it way worse.
I recently changed schools, and there is this one group of three girls, a trio, where this one girl, calls me fat alot. I mean, I laugh it off, but the pang of hurt that I feel, is uncomparable to anything.
My self-esteem has dropped so much over the past two or three years. But it stills hurts the same.
I can’t make myself love my body, you know?
I excercise every day.
Trying to get skinnier to please others.
It’s like all these inspiring quotes about “Your body is perfect” or “You’re flawless, and you should love yourself.” Has zero effect on people, well I can’t speak for anyone else, but it doesn’t has a single effect on me.
In pictures I upload online, on social media, I might look thinner than I really am, but when I’m hanging out with my friends from my old school, All I hear is “You look so much skinnier in pictures oh my god,” etc. But I try to laugh it off.
Today I was using my phone, I was at my grandmother’s house (My mother’s mother), and My mom said that my Dad’s mother (who all I have for is love) asked my Aunt, My dad’s sister, (Who could literally be a model), to not give me her clothes because I have become heavy.
Okay, so the thing is my Aunt lives out of the country, she’s super stylish and probably the sweetest person you’ll ever meet, so like I love her taste in clothes, so she usually gives me hers when they no longer fit her and trust me I feel happy recieving it. So when I heard today that My dad’s mother, asked her daughter to not give me any of her clothes because I have become heavier was really disheartening.
Because I have always loved my grandmother.
My mother, in defence, did say That the clothes actually do fit her, and she’s actually thin and just wears loose clothes.
But, the hurt, man.
My mother has told me countless times not to wear tight clothes like tops, or tights, because they’ll make my thighs look big, or my arms. And I throw a fit about it.
See, I live where there are illiterate people, everywhere.
There is no one speaking about body positivity anywhere, and all you could do is lose weight if you want to be popular, or to get more followers, or get boys to ask you out.
It truly makes me laugh.
And cry.
At the same time.
(Not that I haven’t been asked out by boys before online, as I said, I look way more skinnier in my pictures than in real life (no photoshop involved if you’re wondering that)).
See, I can be very judgemental myself. And I hate myself for that. But it’s like people have been so judgemental towards me, it just makes me copy their actions.
But then again, I’m just 14, right?
This happened recently but iT was at a family gathering. Im an 18 year old guy so it feels even worse because of how stupid crying felt. Ive had social anxiety and low self esteen but this time i realised how low my self worth was. I was called fat by my uncle who is rather abnoxious due to being so abrupt and blatant. Ive always hated being in the spotlight and when he said it i felt eyes, even if noone cared, i felt like everyone began to view me as overweight. I never knew i was overweight becuasw my entire life ive been skinny and well i like how i looked but now that ive put on weight and ive felt this insecurity the fact that it was infront people it hurt so much that I just felt my face go red and didnt respond. When i reached home i felt how low and small i mustve seemed in that moment ad broke down. The fact that he felt nothing wrong with it as well hurt. I felt so dumb and stupud because i finally began talking to people getting over my social anxiety and this just broke all of that. Really just felt pathetic and still do.
Everytime I get called a rather hurtful remark, I find myself locked I’m my room scrolling through posts on the internet, reading about people in similar situations. And of course, this happens to be one of those moments. I am 17 years old and overweight (I weigh a little under 200pounds). My family is sure to remind me of that everyday. A moment ago, my mother just looked and me with watery eyes. I saw her briefly examine my body from a distance and look at me in disgust. I asked her why she looked so sad and she said “it’s nothing.” After asking her if she was okay a couple more times, she finally confessed “I’m sad because of you.” I instantly made the connection (that she was sad about the way I looked and just how FAT i was). I just walked away. Its funny how everyone thinks I don’t realize just how fat I am. I do, and it’s always on my mind.
I am woking on improving myself. I’m tired of relatives telling me “i have such a pretty face.” And i wish everyone would stop reminding me of the very thing i hate about the most: my weight.
my parents fat shame me and my sister all the time as well! it’s screwed with my self esteem and self image big time and i don’t know how to recover. now i’ve just… given up on caring. and not in the confident nice way either. i figured if i didn’t have the courage to open up i might as well not bother. it’s unhealthy, i know but at this point…
I get called fat and ugly almost every single day. It definitely doesn’t motivate me to want to do better for myself. It actually makes me say why bother.
same, honestly
I remember the first time I got called fat. Before then I was completely happy with my size, I was so carefree. But my not so close aunt and uncle were over and I haven’t seen them in months. I went over to greet them.they said to me, “you should stop eating, you’re so fat now.” And it was a family dinner too. So later that day, I stopped eating and didn’t eat anything the whole day and later that night another aunt and uncle comment on my weight saying, “wow you got fatter. Better start losing weight now to get the boys.” And I couldn’t take it anymore. I ran to my room, locked the door and just cried my eyes out. Ever since then I’ve been getting so much comments about my weight from my family, even from my dad telling me not to eat so much.
Whatever you do, don’t let it get to you, as a kid, the more people told me how fat I was the worse I felt about myself I’d starve myself for a day or two then just eat more because I was starving….. please just be happy with who you are, body image and health are two totally different worlds, just be healthy and happy, AS LONG AS YOU LOVE YOURSELF DONT WORRY WHAT ANYONE ELSE HAS TO SAY ?
I work in a care home and I got called ‘big’ by one of the male residents, this didn’t bother me that much, it was just embarrassing really because he said it in front of one of my close colleagues. However, today a different male resident called me fat behind my back. They forget that I’m not deaf… and even if they think they’re whispering to their friend, it’s still loud and I can here it. I work in the kitchen and it’s only small, it is so freaking hot in the small kitchen and it’s difficult to have the fan on to keep cool because it’s loud and I can’t hear the orders, so I take 1litre of water to work each time I’m there. It lasts me my 5hr day. I overheard the conversation: ‘it looks hot in the kitchen. But she drinks far too much water. Probably why she’s so fat’
Which is a digusting thing to say about someone who is trying to care for you. And when does drinking water make you fat?! He doesn’t know how much water I drink every day?! Stupid thing to say. I’m not overly ‘obese’ & my uniform is not flattering (because it’s work and I’m there to do a job), I’m sweating & my hair is messy, I’m bound to look overweight when my uniform is made of such thick material. I’m not making excuses for myself because I know I could stand to loose weight but presentation alters everything and I was extremely hurt by what he said. So much it’s made me want to quit the job that earlier this week I was really enjoying. I can’t stop thinking about his comment and everytime I go to eat something I just hear his words. I’m just really hurt since I thought he was nice. He calls another girl my age fat too, but she doesn’t seem bothered by it at all.
It’s sad how people can get such a wrong idea of what skinny and fat means in reality. So many has such a people who think of skinny as one certain type of skinny that most people can’t be because of how their body type are like. Skinny is actually a really vauge word and it’s absurd that for people to “deserve” the tag skinny have to be a part of the minority that looks a certain way. While the word fat has become the adjective for almost the rest of us. Just cause you don’t look like you use hours at the gym with a highly defined sixpack and a low number of body fat doesn’t mean that your fat and people need to learn that.
You’re just a human living your life.
I was sat on the train. A group of little school children got on the train and the teacher told one of them to take the seat next to me. The kid wanted to check which seat she meant and asked “the seat next to the fat woman?”. The whole train heard and the teacher said nothing! I don’t consider myself fat. I look in the mirror and I like what I see. But people, and kids, DO see me as “fat”. Why is that adjective even used by people? I don’t get why it’s helpful or useful at all. Love your blog and videos Cassie – thank you.
Good day, Cassey!
Gotta tell you honestly, this blog entry is so on point!
As a Filipino-Chinese, I have been targeted by body shaming people everywhere in my community- at home, at work, at social gatherings, and even at church all throughout my growing years!
Quite honestly, constantly hearing such rude comments made me feel “phobiatic” up to the point of isolating myself from all people. Their words constantly kept playing inside my head and I whenever thoughts of them pop up, I would say to myself, “I WILL NEVER EVER FORGIVE ALL THESE PEOPLE! WAIT AND SEE, THE SCORPION WILL SOON UNLEASH ITS FURY…” and then I will hide myself in a corner, laugh out real loud as if there was a dark force entering my body. Because of all the pain, I even resorted to my style REVENGE… such as: intentionally bumping on a particular shamer and causing them to fall down the floor, spilling a body shaming employee’s drink all over the dry ground and swiping my ‘claws’ on their skin, or even doing the “wrist wringing” martial art technique on an older shamer’s wrist until she would almost cry in pain while I sarcastically said to her with a vengeful smile, “Now do you understand the feeling of being belittled upon?”
Yet, deep inside, I wasn’t all happy. With all the bottled up feelings of hatred, grudge and bitterness, I felt remorseful.
After some time of reflection and soul searching, I decided to take action by focusing more on the positive and productive: Whenever I am in a certain place, I pay attention to what I should do that day, instead of “smelling other people’s thoughts.”; and as for the shamers, I AVOID THEM AS MUCH AS I CAN, staying very far away, especially taking the steps to DITCH OUT the so called body shaming “friends”. I rather stick with the people who truly support and care for me.
As for my fitness inspiration, I thank God for you, Cassey! Thanks for motivating me to get stronger each day.
Cassey, you are an amazing person and always believe in that. Don’t let those memories keep haunting you. You have a life much better than those who commented on you 🙂
I remember when I was about 8 or 9 we were sitting down for dinner and my mom made lentil soup (super healthy by the way)I think I asked for a second helping and my step-father told me that I have to stop eating so much or I’ll end up like one of our family friends who was probably 300-400 lbs. I was a little chunk about that age but lost it once I hit puberty. I love food and love to eat but ha e since learned about nutrition and all that stuff so I can eat and still be healthy. I love my body and I know that I will never get past a size 7 just because that is the way my body is made, even if I try to lose weight. But that’s okay. I am just working on getting stronger and staying healthy and loving myself along the way. It’s not always easy and sone days in my head I still hear “you’re fat and gross” but I make sure not to say anything about it, especially when I know I have two kids watching me every step of the way.
One of my friends on the day of my graduation told me “Why your legs are so big?” and I was so hurtful because on that day I was proud of myself for my school goals. I hate that my weight is the most important thing for other people.
I’m 18 and I’m not selfconscious at all. I’m 1.55 and 50kg, I’m healthy but for the others I’m fat and ugly. It’s so sad.
My mum she’s called me all the hurtful insults since I was 6 or 7 because that when I started to gain fat .She start saying stuff like you need to lose weight but that didn’t hurt me but as I grew older she’ll say you look like a cow or a pig but then she started to cut one of my meals and if I take a fruit to place that she smacks her head and goes you are gonna gain weight and takes it off me or when I eat it she’ll look at me in a disgusting way .When my dad tried to tell her that this was bad she said she’s gonna get bullied when she was the bully all along and everyone at school was kind and didn’t talk about my weight or anyone’s weight but now my dad joined in and once said I’m not his daughter when he was angry but I am his true blood daughter I can’t believe that parents are the real bullies for overweight kids but they blame other kids they need to learn that we have feelings and because of them many kids suicide and whenever anyone ask why they died they just say because of the “mean kids” in school . I wish I was never born
Hi there! I just wanted to tell you that you are STRONG. It is always so, so difficult to deal with negative comments about your appearance, especially from your family. Although they are your parents, YOU have the power to think differently and independently, and you don’t have to let what they say get to you. Try to surround yourself with positive people (like your classmates at school who don’t care at all about weight). Weight is just a small part of who you are – your personality and passion are so much more important and will make a much bigger impact on the world and on other people! I believe in you – and Cassey does too! 🙂
Not long ago I was at a party with my friends and we were eating pizza. Suddenly one guy told me not to eat so much or else I would get fat. It did hurt me and made me sad for a moment, although:
1. He didn’t actually call me fat.
2. I’ve always been rather skinny.
3. I’m happy with what my body looks like.
4. He was probably joking.
I just laughed and continued eating, but that comment made me feel like I was doing something wrong. Besides, my opinion about this guy changed slightly after that situation.
So yeah, be careful what you say, because words are very powerful. I can’t even imagine how I’d feel if he really called me fat and really meant it, although it’s kinda silly to let others bring us down. But hey, we’re only human.
Stay strong, guys, you’re all beautiful, no matter what people say about you. ?
Oh Cassey, this was such a powerful read. I am so sorry for all of those who feel the need to torment others for such superficial, selfish and ignorant reasons, and I want to empower those who are suffering from disordered body image and broken relationships with food/themselves/physical ideals that they have the power to work for change–the change to love themselves and feel good about themselves! It all starts from taking care of yourself, learning to embrace what you have and work towards what you want to improve upon.
I don’t believe I’m fat. I’m just over weight. And the it hurts when some people tell, ‘I love you for what you are, but I’d love you more, or I’d ask you out if you were thin!’
So did you love my personality or my body?
It feels miserable when I cannot get into the dresses I want. When that fat is hanging from my thighs which makes it hard to fit into any dress or jeans of my choice. I always have to compromise. I always fall ill or end up discontinuing the gym even if I try my best.
I want to lose weight for me. Clearly not for anybody else.
I have never been called *blank* by anyone, but instead I have beat myself up about not feeling like I am at my ideal slimness. Fear that I will be labeled as *blank* in peoples head. I have a tiny beautiful older sister who always looks perfect, and my best friend has a gorgeous body and face. SO I have lot of people around me who are perfectly slim and toned. I have called myself *blank* before when upset and talking with my mother, and I must say I am very grateful to my Mum (who was always called skinny when she was young and her mother never defended her), contradicted me for calling myself *blank* and told me ‘it was not so’, and I was actually fine. She has supported and loved me and my body, which I am indebted to her for. I love all of you, and your bodies! (in a non creepy way :P) Blesses and happiness all round!
I’ve always been a bit on the overweight side. I never thought anything of it until I got older and started high school. I would always hear people talking behind my back about how I looked. This caused me to become pretty self conscious of how I looked. I started wearing baggy clothing, hoping to hide my body. As they years went by and I graduated from high school, I started college and that was when I developed an eating disorder. It was a tough point in my life. I would always look at myself in the mirror and think about how ugly I was. I believed that the eating disorder was the only way to lose the weight that I had. Thankfully my parents found out what I was doing and were able to talk to me about losing weight the healthy way. That was about two years ago. I still at times struggle with an eating disorder and there are still times that I find myself wanting to give into it, but I try really hard to fight through it and work towards losing weight the healthy way by eating right and working out. Over the summer of this year, I was hurt really bad by my aunt and my cousin (her daughter), who decided to call me out on posting some pictures of food on my Facebook. I had been on vacation, so I was going out to eat to quite a few places and wanted to post pictures of all the good food I had tried. Word got back to me and my aunt sent me a message telling me that I was fat and that she was just looking out for me. That she was only trying to be a friend and she wanted to save me from the embarrassment that I could face in the future. I was really hurt. I knew I was not as overweight as I had been in high school, but I still had more weight to lose. I just didn’t think that someone from my own family, would call me out and tell me that I was still fat. I was so in shock, that for a second I had no idea what to say to her. After I was able to gather my thoughts, I messaged her back and let her know how she had upset me. Of course, she didn’t believe that what she has said was wrong. As she said, she was only trying to help me. As the article above says, being called fat is something we can forgive, but can’t forget. I have forgiven her, but I will never forget the cruel things that she said to me or the way that she brushed it off like it was nothing serious. I have, for the moment, removed myself from all contact with her. I believe it is for the best that I do not have someone so negative in my life, saying such cruel things with me. While there are times that I still struggle with how I look and feel insecure about myself, I am learning bit by bit each day on how to love who I am.
The first time I was called fat, it was by my best friend’s mom. I had come back from cheer camp the summer before 8th grade, and I remember the outfit I was wearing- it was one that I could continue to wear throughout college. In college, I remember my mom bragging to a friend of mine that I was so skinny, I couldn’t find clothes to fit. Then, as soon as I got married, she told me to start working out so I wouldn’t gain weight (I was a dance teacher at the time). Needless to say, the shape of my body has always been at the forefront of my mind- as it is now that I am overweight. I’ve not ever been able lot get pounds off.
From my own experience, yes it hurts, people body shames me and calls me a pig. i guess in my country being fat is like a sin. People will tell you how ugly you look like because you are fat; They will also call you names and they will also start to bully you because you are bigger than them. It takes me a while to help myself in gaining confidence and to like my body and accept it. And now I always try my best to exercise and live the life that I wanted. I will never forget the things that they called me; it helps me to inspire myself to do more and to have a stronger body that I be proud of and to reach my goals. Thank you for inspiring me Cassey.. 🙂 Lovelots and Goodluck!
I remember being one of the “chubbier” kids when I was younger. It never really occurred to me because my parents always tried to keep me active by taking swimming classes and joining the swim team. Eventually I did have to stop because my family just got too busy and no one could drop me off. If I recall, the first time I was made fun of for weight was in 2nd grade. We were playing kickball as a class and I remember not being able to make a base. It wasn’t said directly to me, but I overheard some classmates say I didn’t make it because I was too fat and too slow. It really hit me like a brick and I just felt so embarrassed. I was only in 2nd grade and I was already conscious. Fast forwarding to 5th grade, I remember being the child who would run around at recess, playing wallball, tetherball, basketlball, or something to work a sweat. We had to have health checks to make sure we were on the right track of our growth scale. At this point, I was already so conscious of getting my weight checked. I stepped on the scale and my heart dropped – I was 106. I didn’t consider myself fat, and I didn’t look so fat, so I was confused as to why the scale disagreed with me but I was ultimately so embarrassed. When my classmates asked what my results were, I refused to share but those who did know, I remember them looking at me and asking why I was so heavy. I hated my body so much.
When I got to high school, I joined the cross country team and weighed a solid 115 for the years I was in it and felt so proud of the progress I’ve made in staying fit and maintaining my body image, and I was very happy. Most of my friends were on the team as well so everything was going well and my self-esteem was at a peak. In my junior year of high school, I had no idea that would be my last season that I was able to run cross country, because I was diagnosed with lupus. This was the biggest drop in self-esteem I’ve ever had. I was diagnosed pretty late because I thought the way my body changing was just withdrawal from taking a break from running, but it got so severe, I was administered prednisone, a steroid, which was the worst drug ever for me. The side effects were terrible, that included me gaining so much weight quickly, retaining water, terrible mood swings and I was ALWAYS hungry. I gained about 22 pounds within a month of taking this drug. I remember the way I looked and everytime I looked in the mirror I hated myself. My face rounded out to a moon shape, I was getting fat in places I’ve never had fat before, and no exercise was working to keep the weight off (I was doing insanity with Shaun T at this time since I could no longer run outside. Although it stopped me from gaining weight, I had lost no weight because of the steroid). I still helped with the track team (I used to run track too), and I won’t ever forget some of the looks some people on the team gave me, especially those I ran cross country with. In my mind, they would think in their heads, “What happened to her? How did she get so fat?”. I obviously had no idea what they were thinking but that was in my head. I started doing more workout videos at home, such as Insanity (again), P90x, Turbofire, and all those other beach body products. Eventually as my doctors weaned me off the drug, the weight eventually decreased but wasn’t where I used to be. This was around the time I started doing POP Pilates, and it the workout program that’s stuck. It’s 3 years later and I’m still doing POP pilates, and although I am no longer back at my 115 self, I have learned to accept my 125 lb self, and I have never been happier with my body. Cross country was mostly running and I had a low body fat content, but hardly any muscle. Now, with Cassey, I have more muscle (and not just little fat) and she has helped me realize if my body is unable to maintain a skinny image, might as well own and it turn what I can into muscle.
Thank you so much for everything.
For me it was when I was 11. I wanted to buy a knee-long skirt and the lady at shop told my mom that you should have great calves for that skirt lenght. From that point I started to think about my legs as fat. And it never changed, even 3 years ago when my calves where 12″ with my 5’4″. Now I still don’t think about them as slim, but learnt to find positive things about them, e.g. even though my thights are not that slim and I have some fat to loose, finally I don’t have any cellulite and I can see some nice muscles on them
I vividly remember coming in crying to my mom that some of the kids were calling me fat and she said ‘what do you expect?’ she apologised after but that hurt was more of a kick in the stomach than the kids slagging me themselves. Now I have huge resentments that I’m working through as I don’t trust people I think they’re out to hurt me eventually even with great self-care , yoga, meditation, journalling, EFT, soul work, the works there’s still a little girl inside that believes she’s not safe to be herself but all you can do is keep trying to show her you love her and it’s safe to show up in the world, it’s my life’s work right now <3
You never forget when someone insults the way you look, because in a lot of ways, they are things you cannot change. Yes, you can lose weight, but it can also be a very long, slow process and there are often a lot of underlying emotional or physical issues behind why you became overweight in the first place. So when someone calls you ugly, or fat, or anorexic, or the generalized “gross”, it cuts deep and scars you forever. These things are not things that can be changed overnight and everytime you look in the mirror you are reminded of those cruel words.
I have never been called fat maliciously and only ever in a joking way by anyone ever. I am lucky.
I did, however have a horrible moment last year when I had gone from being a size 6/8 to an 8/10 from first year of uni to the end of second year.
In first year, I was constantly busy, did pole dance, trampolining and break dance as well as going on nights out minimum twice weekly, lectures and would hang out with friends. I hardly had time for food so just ate what I could when I could. I ended the first year with just over 50%.
Second year, I ate a lot more, got a boyfriend (always makes you put on weight), but more than anything focused a lot on my studies. I put on weight, went up a dress size and got comments. I still did pole dance and break dance, but the other stuff was largely put on hold and I ended the year with almost 70%.
At the beginning of this year, I went through some depression and didn’t care about my weight. My housemate knew what I was going through and yet still commented on my weight constantly. She told me how I wasn’t a threat any more because I no longer have abs, how certain clothing didn’t suit me as well any more, and how she thought I should eat healthier. It really hurt that regardless of going through hell, somebody still expected me to watch my weight and didn’t think of my feelings, how well I was doing in university or anything substantial, just the way I looked. I got myself together and completed my placement year and now am working on getting down to 60kg.
My biggest fear of being a victim of fat shaming is how it can then cause you to be the victim of your OWN fat shaming – because of the guilt that subsides from it and can literally eat you alive just by eating the ‘unhealthy’ option. A lot of thought, pressure, and dedication goes into losing weight, and even your achievements can be unraveled in a second by someone saying the wrong thing, whether on purpose or by accident, people’s comments/insults can consume you and it’s exhausting. I get so tired and I know I’m not the only one, and I get so scared of losing myself in wanting to be someone I’m not even sure I want to be?
I manage to deal with it a lot better now because I have the most supportive boyfriend, who looks at me the right way and helps me to see me as I am – healthy and (someone who should be and I am aiming towards) happy! It just kills me to know the pressures that children can go through and how it doesn’t ever need to be that way 🙁 there definitely needs to be more awareness on it, and Cassie I support you all the way!! X
I remember being called fat in primary school, and stayed that way all the way through until I was 18 and had jaw surgery, so I lost a lot of weight because I couldn’t eat solid food. I hated myself, and wished I could lose as much fat as possible. Even trying to do so, I got heckled with ‘Run, Fatty, run!’ as I jogged. But here’s the thing: why do we give the word ‘fat’ so many negative connotations? Everyone HAS fat. Everyone gets those little tummy rolls when they curl up (I.e. sitting down). Everyone looks a little bigger from time to time. Shaming others because of the fat they have – that is vital to protect organs and sustain yourself – is the only thing that is damaging here. We create a fear of fat, leading to little girls developing eating disorders to eliminate every last shred of fat on their bodies. To mental health disorders like OCD, depression, anxiety. Surely it would be better if we embraced our bodies however we come, rather than cutting out the word fat and striving for lean and skinny every day.
Yes, I have fat. But I am also strong. I can run, lift and move without problems. I am happy and healthy and I have learnt to love myself as a strong woman living positively. We don’t need a fear culture, as it only feeds fear. We need a culture of positivity for everybody, and every body.
Peace, happiness and love to all my fellow POPsters xx
I dont really remember my first time being called fat. Its been blurred out by all the teasing I went through through out elementary school and some still in middle school. I dont remember because all i remember is being poked at about my size, being called horrible things, and spending lunch hours trying to hide so I wouldnt hear it for at least a day. It hurt so much and still hurts. Now Im a college student who is so self concious about everything j do. I didnt really start to accept myself as good until i someone told me to watch a speech by Ashley Graham. And i didnt know too well who that was til i saw and her speech on Tedtalk opened my eyes to accept myself. She inspires me as much as you do cassie that it doesnt matter what size you are and words like fat are painful words if you allow those words to hurt you. I idolize her and tho i still am a big girl. I love my size. Im working out because it makes me feel good and I love my big curves instead of hide them behind loose clothes. Its still not easy to always see it but a reminder now and then helps alot
It happen to me too, I have been struggling with my weight for a couple of years now. Im from a latin country , were women are meant to have big hips and legs (majority), and the bigger the hips the more attractive you are. I grew up being the slim one between my friends,( I was 51kg then) but after move out to asia , things began to change. I moved to taiwan when I was 18, and at first things were pretty normal , but I do remember watching asian girls and thinking wooow , they all are very slim as well as the koreans japanese etc.
At first it didnt bother me, it was like okay yes they are slimmer than me , but that doesnt mean im fat. Then one day I went to buy clothes with my taiwanese friends and I remember entering to one of the stores and as soon as I went in,the owner took a big glance at me meanwhile she approached, and told something to my friends in chinese, meanwhile she laugh, as a newcomer to the country my chinese wasnt that good so I didnt understood what she was saying till later, she told my friends that my hips and legs were too big to fit in. later my friends explain that in asia the skinny you are the pretty you looked.. ( thats just the way they think)
After that I started to notice my hips and legs , and how my clothes didnt fit as well as they did to my friends. I workout out 6 days a week and try to eat as healthy as possible.. but anyways
I have been struggling with my body since then. I fight every single day to accept it. but I dont lose hope that someday I will.
As far as I can remember, I was always overweight. The first time I was called fat it came from my siblings. When I was a kid, my big brother and big sister would always call me “the fatty”. At first I thought they were just messing with me, but I soon realised I was fat. And it hurt because as a child, I had no idea how I became overweight, and how to change that. I thought being fat only resulted from eating too much, and I didnt eat that much, but I ate very unhealthy food, because of my parents’ cooking habits. I think now that my siblings were not trying to be mean, but to warn me and my parents in their very insensitive way.
I spent my childhood feeling not only different, but inferior because I was fat, and blaming myself from that. Some kids would call me fat now and then. I spent my teenage years struggling with my weight, and being ashamed of my body. I never dated as a teenager because I thought no boy would ever find me pretty, and I thought I would never get married and have children like normal people do. It was in my late teen years that I realised some guys did find me pretty, and that most people didn’t see me as “the fat girl” but as myself.
Now I am 24 and I am still struggling with my weight, and I am not always pleased with the way my body looks, but I try not to let my self worth depend on my weight. I have developed anxiety disorders, mainly because of the issues I had with my image as a child and as a teenager. However, I am much happier now than I used to be because I am aware that there is more about me than my weight.
So that’s how being called fat can scar you forever.
I was 12. I wasn’t fat, weighted well for my height, I was tallest girl in class. I was the only one with, small but still, boobs. Boys laughted at me. I was sick after I left the school. I was bulimic. For almost 4 years because of them. I used a pills which made me loosing my weight, but it destoryed my organism completly. I wasn’t able to live without those pills because my metabolism would stop. I almost ruined it for good. Although, I was “cured” but I still feel like a shit everyday. For 5 years of my life, there was only a couple of moments when I didn’t think about calories. Probably will be sick my whole life. Because of these boys, I will be restrictiv and judging myself as hard as I possibly can. And I have to see them every day. In school. They are not speaking to me. But I hate them. So much. And probably will never forgive them because I went through a hell.
My dad was looking at holiday photos of our vacation in Italy and actually called me fat when I was 14/15 years old and weighed about 45kg. I remember looking at these pics where I was hugging my knees in a bikini on a beach and thinking to myself that yes it looked like I had some rolls but it was also an unflattering position to be in. I tried to laugh it off but my brothers always used to call me fat as well until the point I started believing it myself. I was very active back then, I cycled every day for an hour and also did the gym classes at school and outdoor activities, but somehow I never got over those mean comments. I never felt good enough! In high school I also got bullied sometimes, one guy in particular could never leave me in peace and self conscious as I was I just felt worse and worse.
I think I never got over that because I never stopped feeling self conscious around other people since I’ve been told over and over again that I was fat and had a round face. Maybe some of my social anxiety also stems from that. Of course everything escalated when I actually gained weight due to prolonged illness until I really did got fat (82kg) and missed what I used to have. I was too anxious and scared to work out in the gym but I had no idea how to achieve my goals at home so it wasn’t until I found your youtube channel that I was able to find the courage and determination to loose the weight and start over again. I’m still trying to learn to love myself but I’m not in such a bad place anymore, of course I have my bad body image days but I always try to think back to what you tell us. It’s okay to love ourselves even if we’re not where we want to be yet, try to enjoy the journey <3 You embody so much positivity and that was exactly what I needed, so thank you for being exactly what I need and such a positive part of my live! 🙂
I am not sure when was my first time being called fat. It’s probably when I was a few years old. I have been told by everyone, and I mean everyone including family members and friends that I’m fat for years. Because it’s ‘Asian culture’ to have your family pointing out what’s wrong with you ‘honestly’. They think it will motivate you. It doesn’t. It just makes me feel terrible. Sometimes it’s easier to deal with the hurt to laugh with them, to laugh at myself with them. I never realised how much damages it had done to myself until I went to therapist. I’m not saying that kind of acts have stopped, it’s just that I have come to realisation, no matter what I do, their focus will forever be on my weight , or how I look.
My father called me “tubby” a lot when I was a teenager. Looking back, although I was overweight, it was completely unfair of him. He would eat a whole bag of M&Ms when watching a sports game and always make sure there was ice cream in the freezer. This set a very bad example for me. I had no concept of what healthy eating actually was.
I think parents need to be held more responsible for their children’s health, including weight. Children grow up eating what their family gives them. They don’t buy the food. They don’t cook.
When I moved out to go to university I learned how to cook for myself. When I was looking up recipes I also thought to look up how to balance meals to be healthy. It was at that point I started learning about good diet. At 19 years old! Much to old to ‘just start.’ Then, additionally, I had to loose all that unhealthy weight that I gained from living with my parents!
That’s not a good way to start your adult life and yet there are many children who are much more overweight than I was. It’s going to be very difficult for them to get healthier.
I’m glad we are all here together on Blogilates!
Hi Cassey! Thankyou for writing this. When you write this stuff it feels like I am not alone because you are my role model. I want to be like you not just in physical appearance but also cause you seem very positive and joyful all the time. I hate this word as well. In fact 2 weeks ago a friend of mine called me fat. And he does that regularly (in a friendly way) I don’t really have the courage to tell him go stop. And to anybody in world. When they say like that I breakdown somehow. My entire day and sometimes the entire week goes bad. I become annoying as angry. And I start shaming and hating my body. I have started following your workouts since March this year. And honestly hearing you for one hour, working with you for one hour makes me feel really good. So yes thankyou for saying that. I can relate to that very much. And yes I won’t give up on myself and work hard everyday to become a more positive person
same as my story..i was 80kg and now im 61kg. when i was 23 i decided to change my life.becoause im sick of being fat and ugly.most of boys were made jokes baout my fat.also i couldnt find beautiful jeans clothes either.cassey u are my first inspiration for this journey. first i start to do your workouts and i got results.after when i got enough confidence i decided to hit the gym.but still im following your storeys,videos everything and i still have long way to go in my fitness journey.cassey thank you soo mch u r such a inspiration to me.. 🙂
I remember being called “fat” a lot of time; by my sister, an angry girl at school or even a boy who told me that my belly was bigger than my breast (I was 20). It hurts each time, I am so uncompfortable with my body. But there is also people who tell me I’m pretty, who help me be more confident and finally I love myself a little more everyday. Working out makes me more proud of my body but I mostly do it because I feel more in control of my physical being and that helps to be happier. I want to be ok with me whatever I look like because we all know this isnt the most important thing in life.
The grandfather of an ex of mine called me fat by telling me I looked pregnant. I was wearing a favourite dress, but I never touched that dress after that and I won’t wear anything form fitting anymore… Thanks sir ?
I have this image of my own body that is not very good. I’ve always done sports in my life (fencing, badminton, swimming, biking and even running while I hate it). But, I’ve always put my study before everything (without even noticing it), and it was very exhausting sometimes. So, instead of working out, I sat on my bed and read. But since 2 or 3 years, I’ve got a lot of stress and I’ve worked during summer (35 hours a week, I’m French by the way), So I became kind of lazy and when I finished working, I just relaxed (last year I had a small nervous breakdown, so I needed to take some moments for me). And every year, a member of my family told me “maybe this summer, you’ll lose those muffintops!! or even 10kg”. It hurt, and at the same time, it blocked me. I know it’ll take few months to shape my body, but those words sound to me as if I have a deadline. But this summer 2016, I decided to become a popster, and I have some compliments about my body (that my muffintops are melting, my waist is thinner etc.) So now, I can workout without pressure, because I know it works, and if I continue, it’s going to be even better.
I was definitely called fat a LOT in middle school. It is very very hurtful. And even as I slimmed naturally with age, I always looked at the females in my life like my mom and grandma and godmother and none of them practiced a lifestyle that was healthy. So I decided to get fit for me, my self esteem, and to help me move past those inner demons.
http://www.thechicmachine.wordpress.com
I really vividly remember the first time I was called fat. I had just quit ballet, which had me very slim with classes five days a week, and I was dealing with an eating disorder that at the time no one knew about, which was cycling between restricting calories and bingeing. I had just started to gain weight, which I was very aware of–though in retrospect, I know that I looked fine and was about average size. My grandma slapped me on the butt and said that I was starting to “pack some meat.” My mom was horrified and tried to do damage control that ended up making my grandma dig in and go into detail about where I’d gained weight, and that even though I was still pretty, I was a lot bigger. I managed to hold it together until they were gone, and then I just started crying the way you described, just sobbing like someone had died. I remember calling my best friend and telling her what had happened, and she was very nice and tried to comfort me, and when I had finally calmed down some, she asked me why it had made me so upset. I couldn’t articulate it, which is good news for my friend because it means she’s probably never felt that way, but it made me worry I was shallow. But in a world where a woman’s worth is so often tied to how she looks, you can understand it. And especially my having been raised in the ballet world, where your dancing ability is often judged in part by your size… I can see how I got there. The problem is how to come back, which I’ve been working on, but is a lot harder than it sounds.
Once you are pointed as fat, you’ll live the rest of your life feeling fat even if you lose weight and you are in perfect shape. I don’t know if it can be changed
For the first time ever someone body shamed me I was called fat and unhealthy even though I workout 6 days a week (with either piit28 or the calender and I am a lot stronger than I use to be). If this happened a year or two ago I would have gotten extremely upset and cried but you taught me how to love myself and my body. I always tell myself and others love your body now because hating it will only make you feel worse. I know I’m a big girl but I look damn good!
This one hit me pretty hard. I have been big for the majority of my life. I remember a boy in my grade in elementary school pointing at me and yelling “ahhhh! Fatty!!” I’ll never forget it. It’s been 20 years. In college I naturally gained about 15#. I’m 5’1 so it’s fairly hard to hide even a few pounds. At that point I got up to 150 something. I then spiraled into a horrible depression by my senior year and lost over 35#. I had a job post grad working outdoors and I got strong and got all the way down to 117. I since moved to the south and over the past 4 years have gained a huge amount. I went from running 5ks to weighing 198#. I’m horrified at myself and it wasn’t until I saw that number and realized how unhealthy I was that I needed to change. Not for the people who watched me balloon infront of their eyes, or the family I only see a few times a year who had to be shocked when I came home. I am doing it for me. I’m on day 6 and I haven’t craved crap food and I look forward to my “runs” with my also overweight dog. We are in it together, and her desire for a walk can even surpass my exhaustion after my 10 hour overnight shift in emergency medicine. Cassey, thanks for being you and sharing this with us. Your videos bring me to tears sometimes and it feels like you really do want me (and all of us) to do it for ourselves. You’re right, I deserve to be happy. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, even if you never end up reading this.
You know what hurts me the most Cassey. ..that even though you’re not fan, you’re not called fat on a daily basis and you’re more than toned, you are afraid of it. I mean, that’s the problem. What you think it yourself and your mindset, where is the problem here, in people calling you fat or in yourself thinking that something like that could ever happen? Look, I really like you, you’re such a great role model and you obviously are more flexible and stronger than many of us. Just let it go, haters are going to hate, if you’re skinny, because you’re skinny. If you’re average, they won’t like your hairstyle or your smile, and if you’re thicker, they will pick on you somehow. Live. And be surrounded by people who loves you, because I can guarantee that many of us would love to be your friend and get to share some time of you for WHO YOU ARE. And if this is going to make you happier, you are slim, you are thin. But you are such a great human being too.
Just right now I was in the family room with my mom and my cousins, minding my own business when my mom goes “(My name) is fatter than Merna” (my 20 year old cousin. I’m 13) I felt like I was punched in the stomach. I grabbed my laptop and walked out with my mom talking about how lazy and fat I was with all my family. And now I’m in the bathroom crying. I don’t know what to do? She always does this and it has really ruined me.
Being fat is like a different world, Im 14 and Im overweight but I have a lot of friends and Im a pretty social butterfly but also a lot of people make fun of me.and I lost my confidence.. . It hurts.. alot. I always make sure not to be mean to people because that’s how my parents raised me.. and when it comes to me everyone makes jokes about me and thinking that I dont have any feelings.. they call me names like “fatty” instead of saying my actual name and i feel left out.. One day a guy made fun of me and I said “Well every human deserves some repect so stfu ” but he said “But you’re not a human” and his friends started laughing … I felt so bad that I rushed towards the restroom and cried.. I know Im trying to loose weight im on a diet (at the age of 14!! ) and I exercise for 2 hours per day (even tho i have school and tuitions ) But people calling someone fat doesnt motivate them to loose weight, infact it makes us feel like shit and feel suicidal.. If there’s someone experienced out here to help me , please HELP ME !! 🙁
Today my uncle called me super fat and to lay off the hamburgers. It felt like I was being stabbed in my chest. Yes I am very overweight but I have been my entire life so recently I decided to make myself happy because I was getting depressed and thought about suicide multiple times because of it. So I was tired of being that way and decided I’m losing weight. I always tried but would give up. Well now I’ve been working out for a little over a month and I feel better about myself. I haven’t lost a lot of weight but I am getting there so him to say that really hurt my self esteem. It’s bad enough my confidence has never been high but that comment he mad really really hurt. I cried. I tried to shake it off but I couldn’t. I got up went to my moms room and started cleaning myself up to leave because I did not want to be near him. My mom knew something was wrong and went to comfort me. I feel like that comment is never going to leave my head. I don’t even want to eat anymore. I’m sad.
I was called fat, ugly, monster girl, Fat cat, when I was just 6. I’ve had issues since. I had an Athlete Structure, tall, big, bigger than the rest. Someone who was meant to be my friend called me fat the other day. I ran off crying. Later I heard him talking to my mates about me behind my back, they were all laughing. I tried to confront him. Then they all made up things saying I call them fat all the time. I would never. Anyway, they are super skinny. I ran off and my bestie followed me I was crying and wailing while she patted me on the back. One of the guys came down and told me to get to class or I’d be sent to the headmistress office. I told him I didnt care and screamed at him to get away. Then the head comes and starts screaming at me. I want to die. I feel so betrayed. I always wanted to walk away from life. I’m a 14 year old girl. My name is Kitty. I hate everything
Oh honey, growing up is tough. I had things like this happen to me when I was young too. I know it’s hard to have people you trust be mean just for the sake of being mean. I’m sure you’re beautiful. People who are insecure do things like this. Chin up child, this too will pass. Don’t let other people define who you are. Love yourself and surround yourself with real friends. Those that mind don’t matter, those that matter don’t mind.
One would “lose” weight. (One would not “loose” weight.)
It hurts and stays with you for a long, long time. I’ve been heavy ever since I was in grade school. I was a thin little girl when I started school, but years of being shamed and bullied caused me to find comfort at the bottom of a tub of ice cream. I look at pictures of myself through the years, and every year my pants got bigger and the sparkle in my eyes got dimmer. I was abandoned by my parents, and raised by my grandparents, people who were never pleased with me no matter how hard I tried. I gorged myself on food to make up for the approval I could never attain.
Growing up it was reinforced again and again that I was unacceptable because of my body. I can remember an aunt who was skinny as a rail telling me that every time she saw me I got a little wider. I can recall standing at the top of an escalator in a store, waiting for my mom, when two boys walked by and called me a dog. I wanted the floor to swallow me up. Later in life there were the boyfriends who told me they would love me if I’d just lose weight. Soon I was hiding from the world, and again finding comfort in food.
Today I weigh 260 pounds. I’ve let life pass me by in so many ways – the jobs I didn’t try for because I figured they wouldn’t hire a fat girl like me; the experiences I didn’t participate in because I was embarrassed by my size, the people I pushed away because I hated myself and I thought nobody would really want to associate with me. Even God – I knew people didn’t like me, God couldn’t love me because I was so messed up. Down deep it was just that I hated me. I regularly called myself a fat, lazy, worthless slob. It hurts to have somebody call you fat. It hurts the most when you’re the one abusing and humiliating yourself.
It has to stop. Some stranger cussed me out today because I wasn’t driving the way he thought I should, and he called me a fat cow. The cursing didn’t matter to me, but when he mentioned my weight all the hurt came back. I went home and sobbed. I’m tired of basing my worth on the size of my ass! I’m more than my body, and if it takes me forever I’m going to learn to love the person I AM. I I can’t undo the past, but I’m responsible for my own future, my own health, and for treating myself with respect and love.
I have read enough and wanted to make a comment on the subject. I’ve also been called fat by family members and acquaintances older than me. The best thing to do? GET YOURSeLF OUT!!! MOVe AWAY from them!! They are toxic and HURTiNG ur self esteem!!!! The best thing I did was when I moved out at 19. I found out what style I liked, how I wanted to dress/ look witbout hearing my mom constantly in my ear, telling me this skirt is too small on you or how I’ve got big thighs and no men like that. I am 5’3 and 160lbs. My mom is a small Asian woman so she expects me to be small like her, but I have my dad’s broad shoulders and built. I have a thick torso and in her head, she thinks I have a thick torso because I’m fat, but that’s just my body structure!!!! Really!! If I lost weight, I’d have a smaller version, but the waist and hips would still have no definition. So move away from these people, look in the mirror and be honest with yourself. Do you like how you look now? Are you healthy? That’s it. Only your opinion should matter, it’s so sad to hear women develop self-esteem issues….why are women hurting each other?? We should be helping each other because we are under constant pressure by the media to look a certain way so we know how it feel!!! Why do we do this to each other??! After you ask yourself these questions, you will be true to yourself and this in turn will turn to confidence because it’s validating how YOU feel.
I’ve struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember. I was born premature and was given steroids to help my organs develop faster. This didn’t help when I started to develop, and by age 9 I was packing on the pounds. My mum and I live with my grandma, and she wouldn’t stop talking about it. When I was 13 she forced me on a diet and I lost 20 pounds. My weight started to climb as I entered high school and has been an uphill climb ever since.
I went on antidepressants 2 years ago, and one of the side effects was weight gain. I was 160 before, and my grandma made fun of my weight then. Calling me fat, chubby, ginormous, etc. on a good day. I’ve gained another 30 pounds on the medication and everyone notices it. No one seems to care about my mental health, only my weight. I know I’m fat, but it would be nice if she wasn’t down my throat over it every day. She says all my clothes look awful, and that none of them fit, which the not fitting part is true, but she refuses to buy me any new clothes. She says I’ll just have to loose weight and fit into my old ones. She also insists that I’ll never find a husband or get a boyfriend because no nice guy wants a fat girl. My grandma is killing me. And she’s got the rest of my family on board with her. I’ve tried telling her how it makes me feel, but she doesn’t care and says that if she doesn’t tell me no one will. Help!! I’m living in hell!!
I totally understand about the antidepressants. about 3 years ago I went on them. I wasn’t at my thinnest then, but I was an okay size for my height I guess. I switched antidepressants because of side effects and was kind of excited when I started Welbutrin because it also often makes people lose weight. WRONG. Over the past 3 years I’ve gained 30 – 35 pounds. On the one hand I want to go off of them so maybe I can lost some weight, on the other hand, I don’t ever want to feel as helpless as I did before, so I’m sticking with them for now.
My boyfriend is constantly on my case about exercising and eating carbs. It’s infuriating as he can eat whatever he wants and doesn’t gain weight. He also doesn’t like sweets – well I do. He’s never had a weight issue and doesn’t know what it’s like, and we fight over this ALL the time. I’m unhappy with how I look and he tells me “well then do something about it,” even though I really wasn’t asking for any input, just letting out some frustrations.
I guess people just assume that all overweight people are lazy slobs who eat a gallon of ice cream every night. I guess those people should also reevaluate their lives and worry about something else.
I have been called fat before by children and I know that they probably don’t know what they are saying but its most likely real . over the years I have become more self conscious because of this reason, not only that but being judged by family members and some kids really hurts.and its something that will forever taunt me. In other peoples eyes it might not mean anything but to me it hurts so bad. But I am making a difference not for them but for myself to be able to live a long and healthy life . I’m greatful I can relate to all of the girls. There words ononly make me stronger to go forward and not give up.
Thanks 🙂
My brother just called me a fat piece of crap. I instantly started crying. I don’t think I’ll forget this.
I totally understand what it’s like to be called fat by your own brother. Thing is, I’ve become immune to his insults. But that doesn’t mean his friends go easy. Three of them have straight up told me that I was F.A.T. Sometimes, I wonder if my diet is working at all and want to quit. Then I read about Cassey’s story and realise that if she can do it, then so can I. I hope you’re feeling okay. Just remember that things do get better. You need to hang on, remember your motives and prove them wrong.
I’m curious to find out what blog platform you happen to be using?
I’m having some minor security issues with my latest site and I’d like to
find something more safeguarded. Do you have any recommendations?
usually, my intelligence is what i use as a cover for how large i look physically. i use my intelligence to protect myself from the fat shaming i usually get. this time around though, i got a C in one of my university classes this semester…it wasnt because i was lazy. i genuinely tried my best, went to office hours, did extra problems, practically everything i could. it was possibly the most frustrating period of my life. my parents called me dumb. they asked me what major corporations would ever want to hire me because i’m dumb and that they are wasting their money on me. i really want to go back to college next fall so i begged them to let me. my father tried to make me promise that i would lose 10 kg by the next time i saw him if i wanted to go back to college..which for me is impossible…… he specifically said i was fat and since i have no brains, i have to get married into a good family to have a decent life, which wont happen because no decent boy wants a fat girl. im not kidding, these were his specific words. when i asked if he cared more about me being happy or me being fat, he said me being fat and my happiness didnt matter. my parents care more about what society will think rather than how i feel. i dont know whether i feel more hurt by their words or ashamed that they are my parents. theyre sending me back to a university but i keep wondering if its a fucking joke. you dont believe in me, you think im really dumb and you vocalize that to everyone. are you spending 60k a year and letting me go back as a joke??? or to keep me away from you all??? im so frustrated and upset. i feel very, very lost and insecure about myself. i dont have anyone to turn to and talk to. i am desperate for any attention thats not negative about me. worst off i keep getting compared to my pretty and skinny sister whos shadow i live in, and whom i look nothing alike 🙁 i didnt think i was that fat until everyone kept saying it and now i hate myself because im dumb and fat. nobody believes i can make something of myself, or that i can excel in anything 🙁 i dont have anything going for me and i keep hating myself more and more every day
sorry im writing this here i dont really know where i can turn to……….
My dad started calling me fat every day, when I was 11. My mother was the first to say it. She is supportive in everything I do normally, but she is tiny and I am not. I never thought of how I looked, or that I looked bad until someone pointed it out. I had to lose 15 lbs to earn my first car, and when I was a teenager I would starve myself (250 calories and day, and 0 fat= a bowl of frosted flakes and an apple)…all the adults in my life knew and nobody cared! I began to obsess over my weight and measurements. I had a journal and would weigh and measure myself head to toe at least 3 times a day. Exercising incessantly and not eating to the point that I would almost pass out if I stood up too quickly. Until one day I just decided that whatever I did wasn’t working, and I gave up. I stay away from scales and try not to think about any of that…dieting, I just think it I don’t want to go back to that.
I am 32 now, and over the years I have dated guys who all cheated. Then a few years ago, I dated this guy who slowly and subtly just made me feel terrible about myself. In many ways. I didn’t want to look at myself in the mirror for a few years (and on top of what my parents did, I just don’t think I’ll ever see myself in a good way). This guy had me very depressed, and then when he finally admitted to cheating he told me it was because all the other girls were prettier than me! I haven’t dated in 5 years because of how I let this person treat me. I mean, what is wrong with me that I allow this in my life, right? From there, I just tried to focus on something else to make me not hate myself. I started going to school, and just studied really hard. I did very well in school and ate like I wanted to gain more weight. The funny thing is that I thought I was fat 50 lbs ago. I didn’t notice really, or care that I was putting on 50 lbs. Because what is the point, right? Why not make myself happy with food? Nobody likes the way I look anyway, right?
Last year I met someone who inspired me…out of nowhere was this guy who made my heart beat really fast and I was so scared I couldn’t say anything to him! Months later, when I eventually told him how I felt, he called me a fat pig. The worst part is that I instantly forgave him! It bothered me, yes. But I still wanted him! The funny thing about that was that when I thought there might be a real chance that I had found someone important- who really liked me, I became inspired to start exercising and eating well and wanting to lose weight…for me! For him…because he was attracted to me anyway (or so I thought).
Lately, I have been trying to internet date. Mainly to help someone else not shy, but I chat with people now and again. There was a random guy on this site, who said really gross things to me (sexual things). And I asked him why men are so vulgar and rude…he told me I was fat and gross. When I responded that “I know” “I’m working on my weight, maybe you should think about why you are so mean” , he back tracked and told me I looked nice and had a ‘kissable face’. Earlier today he wrote me and said ‘hi’ like nothing had happened, so I told him that he made me feel awful and I was now thinking about radical diet changes…he told me to exercise! That he would ‘whip me in shape’ and then said something else sexual. It is why I am on this site today. I have been crying all day and wanting to start starving myself again.
How awful to feel rejected, over and over, when you don’t feel bad to begin with!
I don’t know what the answer is, and I don’t even know what to say (my dad told me I was stupid once too), but your story resonated with me, and I just wanted to share my story too and let you know that at least you are not alone.
I say fuck your parents…go to school and keep trying and fuck them.
So at what point is it okay to tell a woman or a girl that you believe she is to overweight? If she is struggling finding men to date her and you are her friend and you believe her weight has something to do with it is it ok to tell her then? If I am bald and have stinky breath and a woman says to me hey I don’t find you dateableis that not allowed because I will get to hurt? Whatever happened to simply having thick skin and dealing with criticism that is warranted? If a girl says to me oh I like guys who have more meat more muscle on their bodies I’m not going to run into another room and cry I’m going to go to the gym and get more muscular so I can be more sexually attractive to that woman. So, if I say to a woman I’m not attracted to you because you have a few extra pounds in your body, I don’t understand why there is so much hurt. Get skinny.
@mark I’ve never been overweight, but for most of my life I have been pretty chubby– at least by society’s standards. Even before people began to tell me I was (mainly in the form of joking by family members) I always knew how I looked– it was clear to me what the desired body shape was because social media constantly reminded me of what I didn’t have. I was young and ignorant of nutrition. My single father didn’t have the time or money to let me join recreational sports (since my school offered none), and eating well was usually too expensive and strange given the usual cuisine of my immigrant family, not to mention school lunches sucked. Since I didn’t have a naturally fast metabolism, these poor habits caught up to me a bit. Still, I was always aware of how I looked, I just didn’t have the resources to live as healthily as I should, and it wasn’t really my fault. Simply the environment I was in, and lack of proper education from my parents/public school. Later in life, when I was able to adjust my lifestyle, I slimmed out a bit, however, even at my thinnest (around 118 lbs, age 18), I was NEVER satisfied with how I looked. The problem with telling girls (or most girls) they are fat is that something like this happens… It kind of brings about this cycle of never being satisfied with how you look from a very young age, which is mentally, physically, and emotionally destructive, especially during puberty. I wouldn’t mind people telling me I needed to be a little healthier/slim out when I was a bit older and able to make my own decisions concerning my diet, but what really effed with my mind was being told I was fat at a young age, when I had no control over how I looked. And most girls I know struggling with their weight were told they were fat at a young age, right around when puberty hits (aka when girls begin to gain weight). Puberty is one of the most crucial periods in any persons life. You’re body is changing and since weight gain is inevitable for most girls (because estrogen makes you store fat), you are basically being taught to hate what your body is doing to itself. In my middle school, the age of puberty, they would weigh you in gym class, in front of everyone, and tell you how much you gained from the previous year… Don’t get me wrong, I think it is totally fine to tell someone (say a girl who is interested in you and wants to know why you don’t find her attractive, or a friend that is struggling with dating) that if they slimmed out you think it would help them, but there is a certain way of doing it that is not as destructive as “You’re fat”. Blatant honestly can be good in some situations, but when it comes to body image I think it does more harm than good. Odds are, the girl you want to tell is already aware of her weight, and saying something like that can bring back bad memories and insecurities. Everyone has their struggles, some may not be as evident as weight. A perfectly healthy looking girl/boy could be struggling with their weight just as much as someone who is bigger, and you’d never know. Just today my dad called me chubby because I gained a bit of weight this last semester at college, a 10 lbs that I was already aware of, but that comment made me consider not eating today (or for the entire month, for that matter). He is unaware that I was anorexic for a year and half during a period when I was away from home, so naturally he wouldn’t know the gravity of such a comment. I’m not mad at him, nor do I blame him for hurting me, because he doesn’t know the power of his words. And sadly most people don’t. So, even if you genuinely think someone should slim down purely for aesthetics, I think it best to refrain from using words like “fat” or “chubby”. Instead, I think you can promote self love, and love for your body, by encouraging better eating habits and exercise, for the betterment of one’s own health not for one’s own aesthetic (though the two usually go hand in hand!). Lead by example. I personally find encouragement to become healthier when I see others doing the same, and that’s what people should focus on. Health, not thinness. Healthy bodies are the most attractive bodies, amiright? Maybe, if you want to help someone out, just be like “Hey wanna go to the gym with me?” or something like that haha. I don’t know, it can be hard to broach the subject, but if it can’t be done in a harmless way, I’d say better not do it at all. I know people, similar to yourself, who just can’t understand why body image is such a big deal to others. I suppose it’s hard to quantify just how badly it hurts being called fat until you get hurt by it yourself. Anyways, I hope you don’t feel like I’m attacking you! I totally am not meaning to come across that way if I am. Just sharing a personal experience and trying to be helpful. Also sorry this is so long haha but I truly do hope you see where I’m coming from. Best, Kayla
I need help guys and it that when happen if ur fat in high school.How is people gonna a treat you like??.
I know how it feels. Everyone says me fat my friends my family everyone and yes i gets hurt but than i forget easily about their word cuz the didnt matter me alot. But today i was being called fat by a boy, it hurts and really it hurts so much that i becomes so much depress that i deactivated my facebook account cuz whenever i open my face book acc it reminds me of his words. Well, that boy was not a special one or not as that he means alot to me but really when he said that in your dp you look very smart but when i saw your full pic you are very fat. And the after this all the time i m thinking of his words all the time i m thinking that yes i also wanna be smart like my friends, I also wanna be liked by people. I know i am fat n was really dont care if someone says me fat but i dont know how the words of that boy effects me. I really dont know. now i pray to Allah that plz do something plz make me smart or do anything else but i dont wanna make more fun of myself. Ufff i dont know how can i overcome my sadness now plz Allah plz help me. 🙁 Plz if someone wanna give me some advise whoch can motivate me than plz give plz.
Hey, first of all I hope Im not replying too late to your comment and I hope you will read my reply. You see, tonight in the middle of a little argument with my father he called me fat. I told him I wanted to buy a motorcycle to ride to school but he said no, because I dont know how to ride a bicycle and that I will never learn because “the volume of my laziness is as heavy as I am” (I know it sounds weird, its because it wasnt said in english). I know he said it because he was angry, but there must be some truth in it right ? He must think I am fat no ? I already know that I have to loose weight, but hearing that really hurt me. So I can imagine what you felt when that idiot called you “fat”, but I decided to not cry, because in the end, my father just said that to hurt me, like self defense during the argument. And thats exactly what that boy wanted to do, he just wanted to hurt you, he searched for a weakness and used it against you, but he is just a bully, thats what his life is all about, he hurts other people to feel superior. The only solution you have, is to F*CKING speak up ! I´m sorry for being crude but GIRL ! What right does he have to judge you and talk to you like that ? Who does he think he is ? And what about your friends and family ? What you said really shocked me, who calls anyone fat like that ? And you are telling me that you are used to it ? Im not saying to yell at them or curse, just explain to them that it hurts, some people, who dont mean any harm dont know the weight of their words, so I want you to talk to them. For the strangers who critisize you, just ignore them, because all they want is attention, someone who needs to hurt people to feel good has a really big problem you know, so you should let them alone, their life is already as hard as it is ! 😉 but if they dont stop, do not be afraid to talk back.
oh, sorry, I got carried away…What I wanted to say was, rise above the bully, you are who you are, who cares if you are really smart or average, small or tall ? You are You, and you should never question that, be brave, never be affraid to SPEAK UP.
ok.. XD, got carried away again, well good bye and have a beautifull day.
I’m 9 year old girl and my waist is 30 so that it
No, I dont have the flattest stomach. No, I dont have the sleekest arms. But we shouldn’t have to go through this hurt. It’s the worst. I’m not over-weight but people still call me fat. I know that they are just insecure and want people to feel like them, but it still effects me. Sometimes I just feel like crying, and other times I just sit there and eat. Eating makes me happy. Sometimes I wish that I could just wake up and be skinny. I know life doesn’t work like that, so I just try to ignore these people as much as I can. Summer is coming up so I will have enough time to exercise! I want to show them that anything is possible. I want to show them that “the girl you called fat last year is now sexier than you are!” so I cant wait!
“Fat” should mean nothing except to the person who uses the term. A single word does not effect who you are, which is a unique person loved by God. The only person that the word “Fat” reflects on is the person who uses the word. It is a reflection of the ugliness that lies deep inside of them, and THEY are to be pitied because they are so unhappy about some aspect of themselves and their lives, that they feel compelled to denigrate others. Be secure knowing you are loved by God, and many wonderful people who understand what this life is all about. Pray for the ignorant ones who are so miserable they feel the need to lash out at others, that they find some type of peace. They are the ones who need understanding and forgiveness…
I am. Fat I hurts. this girl at my school says you need to lose weight cause you have a bigger desk than everyone else so that hurt my feeling by everyone post to fat girls
I wasn’t always fat, as a young child I was of normal size but then when I got to primary school, I started getting bigger. No idea why and still to this day I am clueless. I was always playing sports after school ,everyday almost-but still I was fat. Kids at school called me names behind my back. My mother and sister even called me fat names. My mother forced me into every diet there was out there, but nothing seemed to work for a long enough, before I would just stop losing weight all together and then just put it back on.
I very clearly remember sitting on my mom’s bed after school one day crying about my weight and instead of comforting me she told me that no one would love me if I was fat! What this comment and all the name calling have done to my confidence level and body image, is pretty much destroyed them. I have never had much self confidence in myself, which effects many parts of life, but most importantly, it affects the relationships I could be experiencing, but am not, due to my lack in confidence and fear of never being loved for who I am.
I am now 27 years old, should be happy and living life, which I’m trying to do, but in the back of my mind I remember all the things that have been said to me over the past years and it’s very difficult to move on and be a regular person who can tell people how she feels without fearing rejection, or constantly wondering what people are thinking about me when I see them looking at me. I hate that I have such negative images and thoughts about myself, when I should be happy with you I am and what I look like. When people pay me compliments of any kind, I find myself wondering who they are actually seeing, I think it’s me, but it’s not the me that I see. When I have feelings for someone, I won’t say anything because I don’t want to be rejected! This is silly, I know, but I can’t help it-my childhood has scared me badly and I’m not sure how to get over all of this! I would like to lead a normal life at some point, but I don’t know if it will ever happen for me.
I’m sorry if this sounds ridiculous, but these have been my feelings for many years and this is the first time I have put them down in words.
Hopefully this is a step in the right direction.
We are all beautiful in our own way! Everyone has been called fat or a toothpick or some kind of name some point in their life! You just have to ignore it, and no matter what always tell yourself that you are beautiful and they are jerks. Do something to make yourself feel confident and pretty =) Do exercise that will make you feel like you’ve done something good or feel skinny. Buy a tight dress that will make you feel sexy. Or eat healthy food all day to feel like you’ve been fit and healthy all your life! These things always help me and keep me motivated too! People will love you for who you are no matter what, especially if you stand up for yourself. Never feel scared to share your feelings with someone you love. I may only be 17 but I KNOW being called fat is a nightmare.
I know those feels, Cassie. I was very overweight as a child and not a day passed in my school years that I wasn’t called fat. Turned out I have PCOS and as soon as I went on medication for it when I was 16, I lost a lot of weight (35kgs). I was obese before so I needed to lose it. then after I got married my doctor advised me to stop taking it, so I did and within 5 months, all the weight came back except for maybe 5kgs. So there I found myself: 22, depressed, 80kgs at 5 foot 5″, newlywed and seeing the disappointment in my husband’s eyes. Then, my in-laws started to pass comments “you’ve gained SO MUCH weight!! [smiles]” “are you pregnant? are you sure” “you need to get rid of your belly” “come on, you van lose weight you just have to exercise and eat right”…..which I was already bloody doing! 2 and a half years on I’ve had a baby 😀 I’m 15kgs down, my BMI is finally in the ‘normal’ range again and I have more to go but so far, so good. The one who was the worst was my brother-in-law. despite he, and more so, his wife, have always been even fatter than me, his comments didn’t quit: “how’s your health?” “how much do you weigh now? I want to compare you and (wife’s name)”….I saw her recently and she’s now almost double my weight! And our in-laws are passing comments on how fat she is and how she needs to lose it. I was close to saying something to her but then I suddenly remembered how much it hurt when she and her husband said it to me. I don’t want to be that person who calls people fat and condescends them for their weight. What other people think of me isn’t even in the top twenty reasons I wanted to lose weight but gosh, I’m secretly enjoying the bullies having their comeuppance!!
My parents are so judgemental!!!! My mom constantly criticizes me. Last night she told me “I know one of my daughters is almost 300 pounds” in my head I’m like ” for you info I’m only like 252″ . then my dad will grab my arms and says ” giiiiirllll, what are you gonna do.” Then my mom touches my stomach and says” girl look at all of this” and being the obedient girl I am I just walk off. I ask God to help me not to get angery because He said be slow to anger but then I just cry and cry. They’ve threatened to put chains on the refrigerator…..I do EVERYTHING they ask and the one area I lack in they want to drill down my throat. They have done this I was a little girl. I have emotional scars being added to the stockpile almost everyday….. I always get compared to my super skinny twin sister. I am 16 at 252 pounds and my sister is 145. I am the one always there for my mom. Getting through her cancer, I was the one there driving her around, staying out of school for her( even though I have had a perfect attendance record for four years) I was the freakin` one to cook all of her meals. I was the one giving her support. Not my sister!!! She was up in her room talking on the phone!!! Not one time was she with her. I do so much and get treated by crap by aunts. Calling me fat and says I look like my dead 250 pound grandmother!!!!! I never say anything. I’m just so sick of this….. Everyday. I wanted to stay home through college but I’m changing my mind….
Look, I think you just need to tell them that it hurts and that you don’t like what they’re saying. You need to stand your ground and tell them that you’re trying to cope with it and what they’re saying isn’t helping. They’re your parents, they should NOT be saying that to or about you. Eventhough they’re your parents, that can’t just judge you like that because I’m sure they wouldn’t like it if their mum or dad said that to them. They may be your parents, but they have absolutely no right to say that to you. Yell at them if you have to; just tell them how to feel. I’m 100% sure that you are a beautiful and smart young lady, you should not be going through this! I had some emotional times as a child where heaps of bullies were telling me bad things about myself and then I started going through an existential crisis! And I was about six or seven! I started feeling like nobody loved me and I really didn’t feel good in my own skin. I would tell myself everyday that I was fat, stupid, ugly, lonely and I would just think of myself as the duff. But I eventually got through it and I’m sure you can too! You just have to tell yourself everyday ‘ you’re beautiful ‘ and you can get through it! I believe in you! Just know that even though your parents do this to you, they still love you and they want the best for you. Just ask them why they do it and I’m sure they’ll feel sorry. I hope you start feeling better soon!
I know the feels. I’m going to be 16 and from the past 2 months all my mother’s friends taunt me and say that i’m fat. They laugh too. Their words just leave a scar. I remember crying myself to sleep because of this. And i started working out from 2 days with a lot of exercising and eating a lot less but its hard. I have to be as others tell me to be.I lost a kilo in 2 days but i don’t feel like myself anymore. I hate this. I just hope one day i become thin so that i can shut the mouths of the people.
Hi my name is Lucy
I’m upset I was eating and someone came and said “your gonna eat all that your too fat” it hurts alot I want to lose weight but I’m feeling self consious about myself I feel like crying I need to talk to a good friend of mine to feel better
Hi, I’m 11 and weigh 123 ponds and I am 5’7 or 170 cm tall. I get called fat a lot. Every night I cry myself to sleep, remembering the horrible things I have been told since I was about 6. I don’t know what to do! All my friends say that I’m not fat but they all weigh like 60 and I’m here with 120. I am way above average in height, and my bones are quite large, but those excuses won’t work. The words are breaking me apart and I always want to be alone and cry all day and night. I’m depressed but I’ve kept it a secret for 4 or 5 years now. Please help I can’t take it much longer!
I’m just like you. I’m 11 and am 5′ 6″ 112 pounds. All of my friends tell me I’m not fat and that I’m stick thick and that my legs are perfect, but all I see when I look in the mirror is how fat I am. I used to be super skinny and never ever felt self conscious, but now I always want to change something. Or
whoa girl you are not fat! Eat healthy and do exercises to keep your body toned! Its all you need to do. And just be happy no matter what. You are beautiful in every way. You shouldnt let a jerks words bring you down.
OMG WHY DO U THONK UR FAT? Both of you girls arent fat. You people are crazy. Im 5’1 and probably 115-120 lbs and my doctor says im perfect! My dad cares about my weight and if I was fat, he would tell me (trust me) and my dad says im skinny! WHY do you think YOUR FAT? That’s crazy talk right there. YOU GIRLS ARE BOTH BEAUTIFUL, im serious. My god, stop being so worried! Im 11 too!
Wow neither of you girls are even remotely overweight! I am 27 years old, 5′ 5″, 143lbs and very fit (I’m a horse trainer). Look in the mirror every day and realize how beautiful you are. Pick out things you love about your body and make a point to notice those every time you look in the mirror. With your tall and slender figures you sound like super models!
Im fat. Im always being insulted just like yours. Sometimes my friends and my family are insulting me . I dont know why they always insulted me. I didnt do anything bad to them. Every time they insulted me, im just going to smile and let them. Even tho it hurts so bad. I dont like being fat. I didnt choose that.
Being “fat” is a tough one. I know how it feels. I had an eating disorder and gained quite a lot over my ideal weight. My thoughts were constantly obsessed with losing weight. I was miserable. I think those feelings stem from what you fear others think about you. I began writing down most of my dreams and talking to a loving therapist. Within about 6 months I had a cathartic dream where I remembered a traumatic event when I was 3. I was left alone in a park while my mother was off somewhere else. I never overate again. I began telling myself about 100 times a day (at least) that I was healthy, strong and beautiful. I did this while I swam- with every stroke. I love to exercise and I have done this throughout all the highs and lows of my life. Now I am 45. I just gained 25 lbs from being with a man who eats a lot of fatty foods and shows his love by over feeding me. I had a woman recently shout in front of a room full of people that she barely recognizes me because I am so much bigger. I truly do not care. I look great. I take really good care of my skin and I have a great back side and great breasts. No one ever believes I am the age I am. I know it is hard to do when you are in the thick of it and young and people are truly idiots, but focus on the parts of you that are gorgeous and accentuate them. Always wear beautiful clothes regardless of your size. Adorn yourself. Do not let the talk of fools effect you. You are a child of God.
why am i fat? i eat healthy…. i never eat junk…
hi I’m just really upset right now and I’ve been crying for an hour now, it’s like that crying described in the text I hate it so much. Someone posted a pic of this boy in my class and he looked kinda fatter than usual but no where near the point where you can call him fat, he commented saying ‘ew I look fat like Ellie’ I didn’t see this comment till one of my friends showed me as they wanted me to know but this really hurt me and I don’t think that people understand how much it hurts when they say something like that to you, I know I’m fat and I really want to lose weight but I can’t and I think he had made me want to because I don’t want people seeing me and thinking they can label me without even knowing me. I really hate him right now and I don’t know what I’m gonna go at school tomorrow because I know at least someone is gonna ask, a few people told him to shut up and stop being rude but i know they were thinking the same thing. Sorry I just needed to say something.
Guys dont lose hope! Believe! Oh yay and Kylie… your skinny. Why do you think your fat lol.
Hi my name is Elizabeth.
I eat so much. I weigh the most in my entire school. I weigh so much that I don’t even want to say. I am 13 years old. I love food so much that I ate a tried to eat a sandwich in class without getting caught. I eat nonstop. I even snuck 5 bags of chips at like midnight when I was younger and sometimes I still do it. Nobody wants to be my friend because I am so fat. And sometimes the teachers tell me they want to talk to me after class and I say ok and after class I ask them why they want to talk and they say that I need to lose weight and they might have to get me to talk to the nurse. I think I have a disease because like I eat so much. I eat nonstop, literally. I sneak food in class as a said earlier! I tried to stop multiple times but I can’t! It seems impossible! It is so hard to find clothes that fit me. People make fun of me. My parents tell me to stop eating and they say I can’t get desset but sometimes I end up sneaking some candy! Please give me some advice. I am gaining way to much weight! In fact, I am eating right now! Please give me advice, I would really appreciate it.
Hey Elizzzzaaaaabethhhhh! XD
So your 13, eh? Your beautiful, girl. Everyone is! I recieved a nice reply to my post. It gave me a boost of confidence. Even if you are fat, REMEMBER YOUR BEAUTIFUL. But I noticed you REALLY wanted advice, so ok!
First of all, YOU CAN control your eating habits. I know its hard, I have huge cravings too. And excercise! Thats all I can say. But listen, you are more beautiful than you think, trust me. If you get down on yourself, your gonna get anorexia, as getting anorexia might seem ok, it isn’t. Don’t do it. Your beautiful Elizabeth. Trust me. I know your 13 and you get cravings (if you know what I mean) but as the person who commented on my post said, tough it out! Hope this helped!
P.S.: You are beautiful no matter what size you are.
one time i was in class so i sat next to this awful guy. then my teacher called me up to the front than i accidently hit the table.everyone saw it and that guy called me fat and said “i know that you have a huge body” everyone heard it .my friend defended me at that moment but until today i am very low self esteem and i have been trying to loose some weight but it just won’t work
Hey sabrina, (i love your name by the way) my name is Kylie. You proably read my post lol. But anyway, that is so mean that he called you fat! Everyone is beautiful. I used to not think this but I got really nice comments and I decided I wanted to help other people like you. Be positive, and don’t let people bullt you because you are beautiful. I have never been called fat before, I just have called myself fat so I don’t exactly know how this feels but I just want to let you know that you are beautiful. Stay Strong and beautiful, ok? I hope you find your boost of confidence I am giving you in this post. Because someone left a really nice reply to my post and it made me really happy. So I hope this makes you happy too.
Im an average 11 year old girl. I know im average, I just feel ao fat. Im 5’1, or 5’2 (idk) and im around 104-106 lbs and my friends tell me im not fat. (including my friend that can be very mean even to me and doesnt realize and she told me im not fat) but today my dad says everyone in my family of 4 needs to lose weight and get skinner. And asked me if I run often. I saud yeah. But it really hurt my feelings because I live a different lifestyle than most kids and I don’t want to talk about it. 🙁 Please don’t ask. But I have been having HUGE cravings. Sometimes i put my hands on my stomach and try to push in the fat and sometimes I hold my stomach in. I am thinking about starving myself.
Listen Kylie, I seen girls your age at that weight and they are beautiful. You are not fat, you are average. You are skinny-average. You are not fat. Trust me. Your beautiful. If anything I am the big fat one who needs to lose weight. I don’t want to talk about me though. Im talking about you Kylie. Your beautiful! If your dad thinks your fat, he has issues. I can’t even believe that he asked you if you ran alot and that everyone in the family of 4 needs to lose weight! He is wrong. I don’t know how much the other 3 family members weigh, but I think everyone 3/4 of the family needs to lose weight. The 1/4 is the part of the family who doesn’t need to lose weight. You are the 1/4. Be happy that you are not fat. I did notice that you said you had HUGE cravings. My advice to you, do your best to stop eating so much. I know growing girls have cravings but you need to tough it up or you will be fat! You are beautiful right now, so be happy. And for other people reading this, please help Kylie. Don’t make her so down on herself. Shes a beautiful girl and I want you to tell her.
I’ve also been called. The worst thing is that i didn’t know this person. My friend told her i was fat and when this person saw me, she just blurted out that my friend is right, I’m fat. It’s one thing to tell your friend she’s fat, we are used to friends insulting us as a joke but when she tells people about it, that’s another story.
If you are banning the word fat from your vocab, then how do you describe people who are overweight? Denying to call people fat does not change the fact that the person is fat. It actually makes the problem worse because the fat person does not have motivation to lose the weight. Also, being fat is a personal choice. Whether it is made with your conscience or subconscious, it is a choice that you make everyday when you eat, and excersise. Everyone (excluding people with actual conditions) have the capacity to get healthy and fit, but do not actually posses the drive to do it. They say they want it, but their daily choices say otherwise. Fat people always claim that they have tried everything, weight watchers, etc. and that nothing works for them, which tells me that they don’t really and truly want to lose weight. If they really wanted to lose weight they would lose weight, even without any fancy-ass pills and programs. I have put in countless hours of work and effort to keep my weight where I want it, and when people who are fatter than me are jealous of my defined abs and veins in my arms and legs, I tell them that I put in the work and that they can have this too but need to really want it. Go get motivated and stick to it, don’t sit around and complain. Go get off your ass and workout right now then eat healthy… doesn’t even have to be small meals, just really healthy. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsSC2vx7zFQ
Honestly it’s like the same reason you wouldnt call a gay person f*g and the same reason that you don’t call African Americans slave. It’s offensive. There’s a better way to say it! “What do we call them?”… Beautiful! If you cant say that then keep your mouth shut because its unconstructive and doesn’t need to be said. (At the very least, just call us over weight.) As for the rest of the comment, didn’t need to be said, we hear it enough, if we wanted to change, we would work on it. Do you think constantly calling us fat and making us depressed will make us any more likely to do anything at all? Hell no.
That is really rude. Saying that fat people dont “really want to lose weight”. Of course they do. They just dont have the motivation or confidence to do it. Some people have eating disorders. They want to get rid of it, but they cant. Does that mean that they dont “really want to lose that condition”? Our weight is unpredictable. If your down, sure, you may eat some ice cream or chocolate to make yourself feel better. Its our bodies natural reaction. You cant help it. Genes are important in this too. You cant change who you were born as. Im 13, 5’1, and 135 lbs. Sure, im insecure about how I look, but I have friends and family who think otherwise. I have a boyfriend who loves me for who I am. I asked him why he chose me when there are hundreds of skinnier, prettier girls out there. He said “I chose you because most of those people are fake on the inside and outside. Who cares about your weight? I’d rather have curvy than boney”. And that changed my world. Im not really fat, as I went through puberty, I started to notice curves on my hips. My legs are nice and toned and I have muscular thighs. Not all people are skinny and fit, Joe. Everyone is beautiful in their own way, and you need to learn that. Dont ever say that fat people are lazy, because if you were overweight and tormented, what would you do? Try going through depression and see how lazy people are now. Hypocrite.
My friend and i joke around about being fat cause we r LOL but we dont care we maintain and still pig out at times XD but they we lost alot of weight we r both 11 and in 5th.. i get called fat alot and so i just be like bitch ur the fat one here. (im not FAT FAT i look skinny but i weigh alot!)
It really hurts being called fat … Me and my friends were in this chat so some of my friends are boys and half are girls so one of my friends added this guy to the chat and he was wondering who I was cause for some reason he knows all of the others so after some time he remembered and said ” oh the fat one” and it really hurted me so I just left the whole chat and cried abt it because he doesn’t know how hard it is ….sometimes boys can be really off
That’s it. I’ve been called fat 2 times in 3 months this year and I’m the average weight it says on websites and says the doctor.but I’m done. I don’t care what no one says I’m i quit eating. I will eat a little though like 3 granola bars a day. I feel fat even though I’m in sports so i decided I’m starving myself
No please don’t starve yourself. That’s the worst thing you could ever do. You’ll either get an eating disorder or you’ll gain more weight because when you starve yourself, your body doesn’t know when it’s going to get it’d next meal and will go into survival mode. This means that it will store every ounce of fat. So you’ll be unhappy and be going backwards. I’m in the same position as you though. I do sports everyday and I’m also the average weight but I feel far and I think I look fat too. I’ve tried doing the workouts but I don’t have the motivation to carry on so it gets hard to lose weight. Just try to find a sport that you love doing and keep at it. Don’t forget to eat clean. Confidence is beauty so be confident. Every time someone calls you fat, thank them. It’ll just add to your motivation. Good luck!!!
Hey Jessica! Don’t starve yourself. If you feel fat, and people call you fat, your not. You mentioned that your average! But yes, I used to be average myself, I know how you feel. But trust me, being average is different from being fat or obese, I thought about starving myself too. I didn’t starve myself. You can stay that weight, that is a great weight, but if you REALLY want to lose weight, here is my advice:
1. Each of the 3 meals is healthy
2. NO DESSERT
3. Excercise
4. No stress, be happy! (This is proven to help)
5. Don’t listen to people who call you fat, your strong! (and your probably not even fat because you mentioned that websites and doctors said your fat)
6. DON’T starve yourself, you will end up with an eating disorder, anorexia.
Please listen to my advice, and be positive and strong! 🙂 Good luck Jessica!
omg! I am so sorry jessica. I made a terrible typo! Lemme fix that:
5. Dont listen to people who call you fat, your strong! (and your probably not even fat because you mentioned that websites and doctors said your average)
I am 14 years old, and the other night, I was on younow, a live video chat app, with my two pretty, skinny, blonde-haired, blue-eyed friends. I was having a great time, until one comment appeared on the screen “the girl on the far right is a little bit fat?” I looked at it, immediately realizing he was talking about me. I brushed it off, laughing about it, and being sarcastic, so I didn’t look hurt at all, when in reality, my weight has been something I’ve struggled with for years. My sisters used to joke about it at dinner with the family, not realizing that I had gone to the bathroom and gagged myself until I threw up. I’ve tried countless diets, and downloaded hundreds of weight loss apps, and calorie counting websites. I don’t know what to do anymore. My family and friends say I’m not fat, but I know. I can’t go in changing rooms at clothing stores without sitting, looking at myself in the mirror and trying not to cry. I’m constantly covering up my stomach with my hands, making sure no one can see my stomach. I make myself sick. I don’t know what to do and I want is to be confident in myself.
Talk to your family about it. They’re your best support mechanism. Once they understand, everything will become easier. Tell them that everytime they joke about your weight it makes you feel worse about yourself. Try the workouts Cassey posts and try to follow the calander. Drink lots of water and try to eat clean 🙂
I am going to the weight. Clinic but i need results to have. Them stop. Pushing me around..it hurts tosee me in pictures. Fat not one good pictures. With myfamily help
Every one calls me miss piggy in my family. I am 300 pounds i need to lose about 150 pounds help me i needs support please
I am extremely hurt. I’m 16 years old, 5’2′, and 126 pounds. I’m usually very happy with my weight and I execrise almost daily and enjoy it. Sometimes I just feel like I’ve made tons of progress and I’m so happy with myself. My mom is Asian though and I inherited my dads larger frames body, so my mom constantly yells at me and calls me fat, saying that I should lose 10 more pounds and I’ll finally be pretty. It really hurts me and makes me ashamed and feel like all the work I did was worthless. So far I havent found anything to make myself feel better, but when I do I know I’ll be 100x happier.
Dear Talia,
Don’t listen to what you’d mom says! You are beautiful, and you are a healthy weight. I myself am only
11 years old and I weigh the same as you. Everybody is beautiful and you should remember that! Stay
strong and be happy 🙂
I can so relate to you!! I’m asain too, and i also have my dad’s family bodies which is bigger than my mum’s family. But both of my parents call me fat, which really hurts my feelings knowing that it’s my parents calling me this. They say that I’m fat all the time, but I don’t think they notice that they are hurting my feeling and I finally told them to stop calling me fat and that doesn’t help me lose any weight. They said okay. But they only stopped calling me fat for a period of time and they started again. I gave up telling to stop. I would show no emotions in front of them, but I would go back to my room and cried because of their words. I’m trying to lose weight. I come home and i try and exercise and eat healthy, but their comments make me feel like everything i do to lose weight doesn’t matter because my body looks the same. I starting to get depressed over this. But i’m trying to think happy and ignore them. I want to show them that I will have a skinny body 🙂
I’m a 14 years old girl, 157 cm and my weight is 50 kg which
I’ve been called fat too, by someone I don’t even care about but it still hurt me, because I find myself too fat too.
I seriously wish boys would think before they speak, they can be so rude to girls…
13 yo boy.
Really?
Why are you so racist?
You speak only about boys when many suicides were only because of girls,
You think only the boys are the sinners?
I really hate people that say one race or sex is better than the other!
(sorry for my English it is not my first language)
Hi, i’m Heli and i’m 16. My height is 152cm and i weigh 56kgs. Being called fat is of course the meanest thing and its a really sharp weapon that ‘those people’ carry with their mouths. It hurts me at first when people called me fat but then i get used to it. This is a bad habit but so many people called me fat so it doesnt bother me much now. But these days as my dad knows about my weight (which i hid from him) he started blaming on me for eating ao much n he shouted at me infront of his workers n he kept on shouting the same things over and over until i cant take it anymore and my tears dropped, i wanted to hold it in but i cant help it then i ran upstairs and started crying so hard that i couldnt breathe it hurts so bad. Ive never been to that type of situation before and now im crying while telling this here because he just said things to me again and it hurts real bad. Ive been crying for half an hour now i just cant stop m sorry but is it all my fault for eating so much for being fat?? Cant i just be happy with what m doing?? Of course every girls want to be pretty and skinny but its not easy for fat girl like me. I have nobody to fight on this with me and it hurts me to the point where i dont want them to see me lose to see me fight this battle.
Dear Somheli,
You are beautiful just the way you are. Being called fat every day sucks, I know, but we all have to push through it. It hurts and has shattered my soul but we need to keep pushing through it. Bullying that mentally breaks people is the worst, but if you stay strong and breathe than everything will go in ear and out of the other. Remember, you are beautiful and nothing will change that 🙂
I have always been on the bigger side in the Asian community. Most Asian women around me are taller than I am and weigh in the two digit range [85-99] whereas you have me who is in the three digit range. So I am considered fat in their eyes and when my mother comes to visit, she constantly reminds me of how fat I am. I know I am on the bigger end in the Asian community but I know I am not fat. I do eat a lot more than my mother does but I eat like an average person. I even recall my sister once saying to her husband “Oh aren’t you happy I am not fat.” WTF are you serious? Yes, I am a lot thicker than she is but damn that was so offensive. Especially, that time was finals week so I did have a minor weight gain. Most of the time I sucked it up. I can never compare myself to my sisters, mother, or friends. They are way skinnier than I am and if I was ever to catch up with them, I would be really unhealthy. I never criticize them with how they look and I shouldn’t. I am just so damn annoyed of being called fat because I am not fat. I am not skinny either and am pretty active.
I’m 14, 5’4″, and about 123 lbs. My brother constantly calls me fat. I feel like when he does, it reminds me that I never looked like other girls because I don’t fit into a category. I’m not “fat,” I’m not “skinny,” I’m not “fit,” and I’m not average looking either. I’m at about 25% body fat with muscle underneath, making me look pudgy or bulky. I eat right, get enough sleep, I used to swim but now I’m trying to get into biking, or softball. Still, I get called fat by my brother and occasionally by my dad…
You’re fortunate to only get criticised twice as you grow up… I grew up bwing called fat. I cant even recall those incidents when I gyoung, like nursery age, I had a big stomach. According to my family, it’s because of all the candies ive eaten. I cant recall how much I ate but I was pretty sure I looked like an average 5 yearold. You know kids would always have a round stomach sticking out right? My family called me fat becaise of that stomach. I didnt believe, then as time pass, I travel to and fro singapore and malaysia dialy to study eversince I was seven. I was introduced to junk foods and I ate at least 3 packets of chips every week. I grew even fatter but up to sfourteen , all that fats o.oMy body are still baby fats. I began growing from chubby baby fats to really adult fats. Those that you have to work really harx to get rid of. Im fifteen now and I am trying to believe that I can be slim. I will be slim by prom. Okay back to the fat insults. Every single day as I see my family members, they would say that im fat or I’ve grown horizontally very much. Let me list out. As my eldest brother would tell me to get out of his sight because I look disgusting with this body. Occasionally when I ask for tips to workout, he will discourage me by saying that I will never be able to lose weight. I would cry and cry and cry. Then my parents and elder sister: when ever they meet me, they would ask me “you became fatter again?” And whenever theres reunion at my hometowns, up to 8 adults from each parents side would comment about my fatty body. I dont even know how to feel right now. You say to avoid those who called you fat. Yep I dont even want to interact with my family, I love my friend more than anyone kn the family. People say that family are their shelter support (im crying now ) hufffft id say family is just rude strangers living with me. There wasnt a moment when I felt loved. Just today, 4 relatives asked me if I exercised, I said I do, because im actually a softballer. Then other 2 adults said that I seem fatter than the last time. I felt so hurt, I grew taller but they did not even notice. There wS once I saw mmy aunts bad mouthing me in their family group thqt my mum was in. They said not to feed me so much chocolate but the thing is I donf even eat chocolate. I stopped eating sweet food for months already and they are saying that to my mum without knowing a single thing. I dodnt even know whats the point in living when my friends ignores me. It felt like I had no where to go and I cant even commit suicide when my so called family is at home
I´m really sorry for what are you going through. But please, try to love yourself. You are amazing the way you are, you are also a softball player, that´s cool! Please don´t worry about what is your family saying, they themself aren´t totally perfect. I know its hard but try to ignore what they are saying, you know it isn´t truth and that´s what matters.
Take care and stay strong, you are better then them xx
Im facing the same problem, im in a relationship with a guy from 7 months and have cried many times because of him calling me fat and whenever i told him not to or im happy with how i am he will started telling me he is just joking but will start calling me again.The truth is yes,i am indeed 75 kg and i am pretty healthy but i tried so hard to look beautiful for him and for me to grew confidence but today im very much broke and i had a fight with him just now…i don’t know am i doing the right thing or not.
Today, my friend texted me and said, don’t be mad, but you’re fat. And she made it worse. She said she made up a program called ‘Operation Bikini Body.’ I am actually in middle school and people call me a fat pig behind my back. It hurt so bad and she then got mad at me when I confronted her. I have had problems with her in the past, but now, I don’t know what to do know.
Something happened to me today that I didn’t think would bother me this much. Before about 5 months ago, I have to admit I was a pretty unhealthy person. I would just snack out of pure boredom and eat like 3 ice cream sandwiches a day. When I went to the doctor’s to get my physical, I was shocked by my weight. So I decided to turn my life around. I started following your workout calendar and eating clean. Now here I am, a momentarily confident 14 year old girl, although still very body conscious, I’m working on it.
Jumping back to today, this is what happened. It was after our 2 mile run and I was feeling pretty tired and to top it all off, one of my so called friends grabbed my thigh and said “You have thunder thighs ha ha”. I just said “I don’t need you to point out the flaws I already see.” and I walked away from her. My others friends were comforting me and initially I wasn’t really bothered by what she said.
Something happened during my walk home though. I just snapped. I remembered what she said and i just started crying and bawling in the middle of the sidewalk. I’m pretty sure other people could see me and thought it was funny or whatever. I forced myself to walk home, eyes puffy and red, and continued to cry when I got home. This was strange because it’s not like I haven’t been called fat before. I mean, I didn’t really bother me as much as today. I’ve been working so hard and to have someone just out of the blue, comment on my thighs, really hit me.
So I’m curled up on my couch crying and I realize what I’m doing. What I’ve done, it wasn’t easy. I have lost 10 pounds and gained a lot of more confidence and muscle than I had 5 months ago. What she says doesn’t matter because in my heart I know that I’m always going to be improving as a person.
So so many people get so wrapped up in their bodies and tend to forget that there are other important things in life. Maybe you’re good at math or cooking. Maybe you’re a funny person or a considerate friend. There’s so many things you’re amazing at and your body doesn’t define you as a person, it’s just a part of it.
Now if you want to change yourself, like I did, it’s not going to be easy. That parts pretty obvious.
but you have to remember who you’re doing it for. Are you doing it for the people that call you names and disrespect you and label you?? Or are you doing it for yourself because you want to finally wake up and be happy and confident and enjoy YOUR life. My parents always asked me things like, why are you doing this who called you fat? I just told them, it wasn’t because someone told me lies, it was because I was unhappy with my current self and I wanted to become stronger and healthier.
Just focus on what’s important to you in life right now. What really makes you happy! Maybe having a nice body is part of it but remember, don’t let others define who you and or your body . I’m sitting here typing this and I can feel myself feeling happier and my tears (literally) drying up. Thanks for reading all this because it comes from my heart.
Cece
I am 13 years old grade 8 and I am 189 pounds I know I am fat I get called fat a lot and I hate it I get called fat by my family my brothers sisters and parents and relatives and people at school , I don’t know I’ve tried to lose weight but I cant. Each of my friends have called me fat and even the ones I think are nice have . Today someone called me “fattie” my so called best friend came to me and said haha he just called you fat that’s so rude and I just smiled I didn’t know what to do!
Those people have no idea what they’re are talking about. Don’t listen to them! I see that you want to lose weight, and first thing you need to do is starting to love your body. If you always call yourself ‘fat’ or ‘ugly’ your body will never change. and don’t worry. if you really want to commit, you can and WILL lose gain confidence, willpower, and muscle.
Being called fat isn’t nice. Ive been a big girl all my life and ive never had a lot of problems the kids or people on the outside being cruel, but its my family that says the hurtful things. One minute we’re good and then they stare. Following the stare comes “you need jenny craig”, “you should go on weight watchers”, “im going to sign you up for the biggest loser”. Its just so hard hearing these things everyday. There was one woman when I was younger and everytime we would go over her house she would ask “how much do you weigh” and why are you so fat. It didnt bother me when I was younger, but im 23 now and I hear these things everyday. Its starting to take a toll on me, I cry more now than ive every cried before.
I am 43 years old and in the last few years I have put on about 30 pounds. Some of the gain is stress and some from hea
One of the last times I saw my friend, we went to one of her training classes. She weighed herself, and pressured me to get on the scale. I did. I will always regret weighing myself in front of her. I’m about 5’2, and it was 181bs. She said “Wow, you’re pushing 200, you really need to do something about that.” WTF bitch!? I defended myself, telling her that I exercise, and she had the nerve to ask examples of my exercises, to I told her I use the elliptical, my yoga ball, mow the lawn, etc etc. Later that evening she said, “I don’t mean to be pushy, I just don’t want to get a call that you’re in the hospital from a heart attack, cause you’re at risk for cholesterol and heart problems.” Hello woman, I do look in the mirror, I’m aware I need to lose weight! So I retorted, “Don’t worry about me, I’m fine.” She finally dropped it. I’m still pissed, and the next time I saw her, I didn’t eat anything in front of her. I’ll probably never eat or weigh myself in front of that particular friend again, since I obviously can’t trust her to keep the unsolicited advice to herself.
That reminds me of the time a couple of weeks ago where something similar happened to me. I have been recently swimming to try to control my weight and I have been watching what I eat, so when my training buddy and I went to weigh ourselves after a particularly hard practice I went first and as soon as I stepped on the scale I hear “wow not much progress for you!!” Umm bitch who do you think you are to talk to me like that. I wanted to punch my “training buddy” in the face. Im only around 5’7 and and around 145. I was trying to be open with this “friend” and told them that I wanted to put on around 10 pounds and try to make my abs tighter, and he was trying to do similar things. Only problem was that he was making progress and actually gained the weight that he wanted to. Anyways, we are obviously not friends anymore and I have increased my food intake to around 5-6000 cal/day (had huge plate of fries for lunch today 🙂 ) so I hope that I can gain some muscle and pass him by the end of this year. Moral of the story is to not let your friends judge you!! Ill keep you posted on my progress.
Hello there, Cassey! I know it’s an old post but I’ve only just read it and – you know, I’ve been following your instagram and youtube and this site for quite some time now, workoud with you, loved you, and I can recall every time you gained a few pounds for some reason it would become a big issue to you, the one that couldn’t vanish ’til the additional pounds did. And I just… I know you’re so into growing and being confident and free but I feel like you might not be free completely, like the issue of your body still exists for you, this 11 year-old version of you still fresh in your mind, and I thought – why not put your self-discovering journey on an another level? I’m talking a therapy here, or meetings with counsellor, whatever, really. I just feel like this issue of you is something that needs to be talked troughht and worked on once and for all. So you can be finally completely free. Regardless of the comments on your body. Please, consider it. I love you 🙂
A guy I’ve never actually had a relationship of any kind with, but who is really good friends with my two best friends called me fat behind my back yesterday. One of my friends told me about it today and I don’t know what to do. I’m FURIOUS because he has no right to say that about me. It also really destroyed my confidence because I lost SO MUCH weight these past few months (over 20 pounds) and he calls me fat and disgusting. I’m thinking about confronting him about it but I wouldn’t know what to say… So I just cry.
Don’t let his words get to you. You can confront him if you want. You can tell him about your progress, hwo you’re trying so hard to be healthier and that it hurts that he calls you this way. Maybe it’ll make him think and not say things like these again to anyone and maybe you’ll feel better with yourself. You can also not do it. It’s okay. It’s your choice. But please, don’t let it get to you. You can cry if you want, it’s actually really good for you to let out all these emotions – rmember though just because he said these things doesn’t make them true. You’re so strong and so brave for working out and eating healthy and trying to change your life. If he can’t see that – too bad. We know the truth. 😉 Just carry on and remember you’re amazing, no matter what some guy says.
To anyone reading
I recently overheard my one good friend calling another friend ‘fatty’. I asked her what she said, she told me and after a stare I’d given her expressing my disgust, she stopped speaking to me. We’ve had it out and she told me it was a joke. I’ve stuck with my decision and we haven’t spoken in a while. She told me I was projecting my own insecurities onto the situation.
(I told her how in my teens my father mentions something about wobble, and from a carefree mind where body image was concerned, I became a stickler for self-critique. I’ve worked intensely on myself over the years doing ‘I am teachings’ and using the Louise Hay book. I’m very happy in my body – even though I have those days when my mind and the mirror serve harsh judgment. In no way was I projecting my own insecurities.)
I never spoke up about the comment, perhaps I was ashamed, shocked or embarrassed, nevertheless I didn’t. I have a feeling there are other people who would keep quiet too.
I’m close to many girls who after being called ‘fatty’ or ‘chubby’ even as a joke, have never been able to reclaim that confidence again.
Our world today is a judgmental world, and with the media shoving ideals into our faces, its difficult to not judge yourself and others. I still don’t believe it gives people a right to say anything mean, demeaning or harsh to anyone, no matter how they feel its justified.
I’m sticking to my guns on this one, for the girls I’ve just mentioned, for those who never said anything and because I know how it feels to have that said about you (sometimes even when it’s not true and is intended as a joke)
Right now we’re not talking, everyone in class keeps trying to get us to make up but they don’t know the reason why…
Am I being to harsh on her?
Advice welcomed 🙂
Maybe it would be good to talk thing out with her. Tell her exactly why you don’t want to talk to her, what calling people fat can make people feel, give her some examples… Make her see, so she won’t hurt someone in this way ever again. Don’t bottle this all up though. Getting offended and not talking to someone is never a good choice. It’s poisoning and destroying and it won’t do any good to any of you. Be the love you want to see in the world. Good luck! 🙂
This morning at work my boss said to me “your eating again? No wonder you have a gut.”
Now I am a mother of 2 amazing children and weigh 150 pounds. I do have curves but have never considered myself to big or overweight. That comment she made shut me down completely. I was speechless and completely offended.I honestly don’t think I will ever eat again. That comment has shattered my confidence. I felt like a cow the entire rest of my day. I hate that someone can make me feel that low. I’m now determined to loose weight!
Now, now, what do you mean that you don’t think you’ll ever eat again? You’re on this page because you’re a popsters and popsters lose weight in a healthy way, my dear. 😉 Be patient, follow Cassey’s adive, maybe her workout calendar or meal-plan and don’t let comments like this one get to you. People can be cruel and careless in what they say. Don’t takie it too personally, honey.
At school other girls in my class always call me fat, & I ignore. I’m only 13 years old and I weigh 52kg. I don’t think it’s bad but then the way they say it. But at the end of the day I know I have a singing talent. I think the girls are just jealous of my personality….
I’m turing 15 in less then a month, and I’ve been over weight for as long as I remember. I remember being 5 or 6 when I first noticed I wasn’t the same as all the other kids. I’ve always had really good friends who would always tell me that I was perfect the way I was, but I could never think that myself. Everyday since I was around 11 or 12, the fear of people around me noticing my weight has terrified me. I even began sucking in my stomache when I was out in public at that age, and I can’t seem to stop. I even developed a social anxiety disorder from being so self conscious. I often lay in bed and cry because of how badly I feel of myself. The worst part is, no one knows this. I had lived every day of my life surrounded by friends, always being the funny one, but once I go home, I’m a mess.
Firstly, thank you to all the brave people who posted – it has encouraged me to share some of my story and let go off some emotional baggage that I privately have held on for far too long! From a young age my weight has fluctuated and i was constantly scrutinized by family, informing me of my weight gains,as if i didn’t already know. Dinner times were hard, if i attempted to get seconds my Mother would say ” Do you really need that” or “should you have any more” continuously making me feel guilty. This slowly led to me hiding food and binge eating after dinner. Guilt then set in and i started to purge what i ate. My mother caught me once and said i was “selfish for wasting food “. This led to a confusing time for me. I gained a lot of weight from this time and comments were relentless. Melissa you must weigh the same amount as all your family members put together… Melissa – don’t have a bath the water will over flow, oh wait can you fit in the bath…oh Melissa you would be so much prettier if you lost those extra pounds… Melissa, it would be nice to wrap my arms around you…Why don’t you lose weight… and this is from family! Just today as I was walking with a work colleague who just had a baby, another colleague commented on my weight by saying to me – “I cant tell which one of you had the baby” he then laughed and continued with his day. A comment he would not have a second thought about had me in a sobbing state as soon as i got home. As i was feeling down i googled..”someone just called me fat” and here i am. So yes of course it hurts, every word, every feeling of being less of a person because you are overweight, every tear that has been shed, it remains. So, how to cope, persevere – listen to the opinions of those who matter – address how you feel with that person. All things that are easy to say, yet a continuous struggle to do.
literally same omg im so sorry
I have read a few comments and I was shocked by how offensive some people, even your friends and family can be. It is hard when you get called fat, and I am sorry if you are hurt because of that. BUT REMEMBER THAT WEIGHT IS NOT THE ONLY THING ABOUT YOU. You can be smart, you can be good at playing piano, you can draw very well, you are kind, you have a beautiful smile, you are funny. This is what makes you amazing, not how much you weigh. Everytime people say that you are fat, remember that it is because they feel insecure about themselves. This is why they want to bring you down. Stay strong, and smile. You are amazing. 🙂
Hi,
I read your story…I’m so sorry for everything that happened it must have been awful! My mom has always called me fat too, from the age of 4 or 5. I basically lived my WHOLE ENTIRE life listening to the dreadful words of my mother. And as a 5 year old, I never understood. I didn’t care…what 5 year old would? Sometimes, I feel she only says these things just because I am way taller for my age, so logically my weight has to be the bigger numbers as well…But I think all she wanted was a smaller girl, a thinner and prettier girl to brag about and to showcase. That was never the case for me. In fact, not once did she say it could be ‘better for my health’. All she did say is that I’d get a boyfriend and people will compliment me and I could be a model. She made it seem I’d ONLY be doing this for the sake of peoples selfish opinions. As I grew older, the words stung harder. Weight is already an issues for teens and on top of that, is calling me fat. However, whenever she mentioned my weight to the doctor, all she’d say is that I’m an average weight, no need for losing or gaining, which, of course made me cheer a little on the inside. Yet STILL she feels the need to call me fat and shame me. Through my habits, I felt self-conscious about what the people at school would think of me and in fact, covered myself up with longer shirts and pants to hide myself. Even in the Summer! And it surprised me quite a lot when my mom had no idea why I was doing it even though she was the reason I’m doing this. This had created so much anxiety that I was scared of meeting new people. And she would also tell her friends about it as well in front of me! Of course, they didn’t say anything but I felt emotionally hurt that my mom tried to make other people pressure me into the person SHE wanted. Don’t get me wrong, but I LOVE my mom! She cares for me and hopefully I can do it one day too. But when it comes to weight, I feel as if there is nothing else she will care about. My self esteem is destroyed, I’m still working hard to feel good about my body.
It’s horrible to hear those words. I’m in the middle of the struggle with bulimia. It’s something I have to fight every single day, everytime I have to eat someone, if I walk passed a food store, if I see someone eating something or talking about food,… The people I love know about my struggle and support me. But today I was in the car with my friend’s mom and she told me I had to walk the last 5 minutes to my house because I needed some exercise. I wasn’t quite sure what she meant so I asked her… I still wish I hadn’t. She told me I would become fat otherwise. I asked why, to know if she thought I was fat. She said it was coming to that point…
My friend tried to save the whole situation, but I just wanted to get out of that car as fast as possible. I didn’t know what to do with myself and I’m still crying. ONE comment like that could trigger the whole bulimia-thing again, that’s what’s so hard in recovery. I try to accept myself every single day, I want to look in the mirror and just be satisfied with what I see.
Since the whole problem started, I’m also having a hard time at college. My first year was excellent, and now I just can’t focus anymore. Everything is about the looks. I can spent hours, days watching Instagram feeds about fitness, health, beautiful bodies and people. I want to believe it motivates me to become more healthy, but in fact it just makes everything worse. I constantly remind myself why I’m not good enough, by comparing myself to famous (photoshopped?) people.
The people I love support me, but the problem is I’ve become so good at hiding my thoughts, feelings. I know exactly what to say or do so that they wouldn’t think of me as ‘that girl with the eating disorder, or even just “that girl with the problems” ‘. I’d hate to stand the thought of people looking at me and that they would think I’m weak. Because I think of myself as weak, but it’s so much harder when you have to hear that from others.
It’s the same thing with people calling you ‘fat’ or anything like that. You already believe that you are all those things, but it’s another thing to hear it from somebody else. It just strengthens your belief that you’re not good enough, ‘because they said so’. I always have this small sparkle of hope inside of me, that someone would think of me as ‘good enough’, or even better, that there would actually be something ‘good’ about me. But that small, wandering, sparkle of hope just gets crushed by any kind of negative comments or feedback.
Right now, I’m just trying to keep that sparkle alive, and I hope it will one day fill my life with the joy of just being happy with myself. One day.
From what I have read in that post, you are a strong person. You are fighting an ED, and you are fighting to not to let judgemental people in this world make you sad. Keep fighting! Stay healthy, and always remember that your body isn’t the only thing that dictates whether you are good enough. You are a strong fighter, and this is what matters. 🙂
This was really hard for me too. I think fat is a very offensive word no matter what. I grew up with anorexia and bullimia and it was hard. I didn’t enjoy eating food growing up and also I couldn’t eat well. I was pretty healthy in highschool and my first two years in college for eating clean and being really restrictive with my diet but also exercising daily.
But my last year of college I lost it. I gained 20LBs from eating junkie and I came back home. It was really hurtful because my mom would comment my body image and weight and it destroyed me. So I am trying to regain my prime days but it’s a struggle because once you have eating disorder, it somehow stays with you. And I am developing bullimia again and have very low self-esteem. It’s very hurtful that my own mother would comment and compare me with celebrities and other models. Being the skinny smaller girl throughout my life but now being not as skinny is hard. People who knew me since I was little commented, “You got fat!” “You gained lot og weight” is really hurtful. To this day I am tryin to get back to what I was.
I get called fat or chubby, but most of the time its chubby. Once we were visitng my grandma & she had made food for us, I was already dieting so I limited myself to drinking lots of liquids & eating once a day. But I remember her telling me, “Hey fatso, aren’t you gonna eat?” & I just stared at her & she laughed. I didn’t think it was funny at all. The thing is, I don’t feel as if I’m fat just chubby. & she’s bigger than me. She always takes my older sister shopping & then she tells me “You need to lose a lot of weight before I take you to buy clothes, because you’re too big” I’m 5’3 & I have a bigger bust & bottom than my older sister does, but I have a small waist. After all the torment I had gotten from her I began to stop talkinh to her. But she came up to me & said “Why did your dad tell me that you don’t talk to me because I call you fat? It’s the truth!” & I started crying. Not only she calls me fat but my dad has before as well. It sucks being called fat & getting made fun of for it. I’ve thrown up my food before & starved myself to the point where I’ve passed out, buy nobody really cares.
Everyone yur not fat yu just have fat so dont say those things cause then it doeant male yu feel better most of the time
It actually does hurt being called fat!I remember last year when I was in primary school this guy whom used to be my “friend”.I acted like I didn’t care and I fought back.When I got home I cried and cried,My sister caught me crying and asked what was wrong.She comforted me and I felt ok.My mom used to give me lectures about loosing weight,I was about 9 or 10 then.I wasn’t that fat tbh,I was an average 9 year old.I felt like she hated me and it killed me to look at her anytime I woke up.Recently her and my dad told me that I have to cut down on some foods and all that.I have lost quite a good chunk of weight.After the said this I didn’t want to eat dinner.They told me why didn’t I come down for dinner and I said “I’m not hungry”,she said “but you haven’t eaten since breakfast”(all I had was green tea and a lemon slice).They started to feel sorry and they began to force me to eat
I wouldn’t even drink a glass of water.Thats how bad it was getting.They don’t talk about weight anymore and have gotten soo supportive!I haven’t had any sugar today and I’m really proud 🙂 xxx don’t ever call anyone FAT it’s worse then a punch!
My boyfriend called me ugly and fat yesterday. He’s called me fat before but yesterday he said I’m getting bigger. He said “your still young, you need to go excersize or else in 3-4 years your gonna get 300-400 pounds.” I’m only 17, I have a 6 month ol baby. His dad won’t watch him long enough for me to even take a hour jog or walk. It’s to hot to have a little baby out in the heat for an hour, plus he doesn’t like his stroller to much so most likely I will carry him the whole time. I can’t lose waight just like that. What my boyfriend doesn’t know is I have struggled with my weight my whole life. I’ve been called fat ugly for sure, all the time. But i learned to cope with it just because I was use to it. But I’m not use to being called fat and ugly by the love of my life. I mean he doesn’t call me beautiful anymore he literally calls me ugly and tells me I’ve ” gained some weight”. I’m so hurt. I don’t know how to cope, I’ve been with him for almost 2 years and he’s never made me feel this way about myself. I love him a lot, he’s the father of my baby. But I don’t know what to do. He’s clearly not happy with me anymore because of my appearance and I am defiantly not happy with him making me feel ugly and highly self conscious. I’m balling my eyes out. I’ve never hated myself so much. I’m afraid to eat. When I see myself in the mirror all I see is a fat cow and I get disgusted. I hate myself.
He says you need to lose weight? Tell that asshole he needs to get off his ass and stop being a sorry excuse of a dad who’s gonna end up drunk and homeless covered in his own piss in 3-4 years.
I have been called fat a few times and it still hurts to be called fat because Im 12 I’m 5’3 and I have big thigh which I hat but I been exercising to lose thigh and stomach but today I have been called fat by my father few time and it hurts me by that. So sometime I would eat little food or nothing at all he time me that I’m just going to eat one piece of chicken today and I did argue cause that wasn’t good for my health but now I feel better about myself cuz I learned to love mybody no matter what
Being fat really does hurt, I’m glad someone has experience what I did/am. I’m 15 and ever since I was 12 my family has always called me fat. Mostly my mom and grandma. My dad used to a little but he stopped. The thing that hurts the most is that they call me fat, but they know I’m working on my weight. I’m not that fat. I have big boobs, rather skinny waist, with a big butt(thanks squats!). Anyways I am trying to work on my weight and I’m doing the best I can but all they do is call me fat and it doesn’t motivate me, it depresses me. It does make me work harder , it makes me hate me look in the mirror even if I lose 20 pounds, all I will see is that girl who my family has been calling fat for years. I hate it so much . I have an older sister who is has a body like me but my family doesn’t say anything about her weight to her. Nothing. It’s just me. My mom isn’t that skinny, she has weight too but she always picks on me. I’ve grown the hate the girl in the mirror. If I lose 10 pounds, 50 pounds, or even 100, I will always see myself has the fat girl
Ok. So I am apparently not alone out there. I am 53 years old and I read so many of the heart breaking accounts from young girls and women out there. To this day I am very over weight and I too have struggled with this all my life. Every time someone makes a fat joke, a fat comment, I try to not let it sting. Today I was at a family get-together for a family members graduation brunch. High school can be a rough time and a comment, not directed at me, but said by the high school senior that had just graduated, “I hate fat people.” For whatever reason it was said, though again, not directed at me it hurt. The reason it hurt is because after it was said, they realized what they said, and they glanced at me. I pretended I didn’t hear, but I did. Still hurts, still stings just like ions ago when I was in school. This “fat” thing has left me with virtually no self-esteem and cynical. Please watch what you say, you never know who is listening.
i am in my twenties and it still hurts when people call me fat. for the last couple weeks my brother been calling me fat and my family say that i lost lots of money and time trying to lose weight and that i will die fat because i will never lose weight. it huts me so much. i have been spending lots of time in my room to avoid people because i feel safe when i am alone without anyone calling me fat and worthless. i have bad thoughts because of the worlds that my family tell me. it has made me hate them so much that i just want to move and it is very hard for me to sit down with them and actually have a conversation. for this reason i keep myself locked in my room so that no one can see me. so i know how people feel when it comes to being called fat. it kills me inside and sometimes i dont know what to do about it but cry my heart out.
This article was tough for me to read, but necessary. Thank you so much for posting.
All my life, it has felt like my family has made it their duty to remind me how fat I am. It’s to the point where I’m not even sure what I look like anymore, I just feel like a product of what everyone tells me I am.
One of my earliest memories of this was at the Thanksgiving table, probably when I was around 5 or 6. I reached for a piece of turkey and my grandmother swiftly swatted it out of my hand, telling my parents that I was chubby and “didn’t need any more food”. I was hungry and eventually cried. My mother took me into the next room just so that I could eat a piece of bread.
Then in my latter years it was my father. Constantly telling me I “could stand to lose 10 pounds”. I never developed an eating disorder, but I developed an unhealthy mentality towards food. I’d go on insane diet and exercise kicks out of sheer panic for what my parents or my grandmother might think, and then inevitably relapse into a giant pile of chocolate and/or fried chicken.
I guess what I’m trying to say is this: all my life I’ve tried and failed with controlling my weight, getting healthy ,getting in shape. I just want to feel strong and have energy and feel good about myself. Do you have any advice for how to get on track? How do you keep all the negativity out while trying to focus on yourself?
This article was very hard to read because I feel like someday the same would happen for me… I’ve been called fat several times and it hurts so much, on the outside I look tough I say everything is ok but as soon as I get home I lock my doors and cry in my bathroom. My own family also insults me and tells me that I’m fat all the time. Today I was calledft again, this guy asked everyone “where are u from?” I said I’m from a mythical place I might be a dragon or a fairy as a joke and he just murmured under his breath “an overweight fairy who can’t fly” to be honest inside I felt like I was going to explode into tears! I know I’m fat I don’t needs to be told that! I’m starving myself and I have nobody to talk to abou this… This article really helped me… Thanks for reading
Hey Hurt girl, I’m sitting here helping a friend who just got called fat too. Been called it myself a lot as well. Usually by boys who are dumb. Don’t let any dumb boy determine your happiness. Get a good comeback line like “ohhh, bullying, I see you’re finally good at something” and walk away. Then for goodness sake, go talk to someone about it!!!! If you are feeling like exploding and starving yourself, you definitely need someone to talk to. Kids help phone, a friend, a nurse, a cousellor, a teacher, a mom, anyone!! Don’t keep it bottled up inside because then you will eventually become really unhappy. Oh yeah, and tell family member how you feel. They likely think they are kidding and it doesn’t bother you (because you never show it). They need to know that you are hurting inside. And if your family happens to be full of dumb boys….good luck! Never let anyone decide how to feel about yourself. And remember, people bully because they are hurting inside too. Maybe the boy is feeling down about himself because he just read this blog and I called him dumb…sorry boy…or maybe he has zits or sucks at math. Who knows? but he puts down other people as a way to make himself feel better. It might help you to know that and maybe next time you see him, be super kind, give him a compliment. Maybe it will fill his bucket so he stops being so darn mean. Go girl!
When I was 5, my mom would go to work before I came back from school, and my dad would be there. My mom left me and my older brother food but my dad would never help us heat it up, so he would take us to McDonald’s or or fast food. After a few months and a few peanut butter and marshmallow creme sandwiches I got bg but, I didn’t know till my brother said “Gained 1or 2 HUNDRED lbs?!” I didn’t know what to say I was so sad I went to my dad but he said he agrees with him it made me so sad. I ran to my room with hot chocolate mixture and ate them I got bigger and bigger 1st grade 80lbs 2nd grade 105-130 3ed 150-178 4th 180-190 then 5th 200-211 I was so sad because I looked at photos I was huge and my brother made sure I knew that he called me “fatty, ugly, huge, reaterd, I just take up space time and food.”
I’ve learned to accept I’m big and I will never be a “stick figure” even if I want but my brother will. I know I’m pretty and I’m a good singer but there’s two things I’m sad about,once a boy came up to me and said “is that your brother?” I said yes and it was and under his voice he said “then why are you so fat and he is so skinny?”then he started to walk over to him. The last thing is I never knew thee was bad food when I was little if my mom had stayed home from work and fed us well, I would not be a “fatty”
Thanks for ryour time
I just got bullied at school today i was walking to the bathroom with my friends we walked inside and 3 other girls from my class
We’re in there 2 of them i was friends with but 1 im not so all of a sudden she starts saying Macayla you talk to much i just ignored her ,2 other girls walked in whom I don’t know and the bully Mekka called me
Fat the 2 other people who i don’t know started saying dont say that!and the other 2 girls were saying calm down Mekka!my 2 best friends were saying are you alright i said yes lieng and hid my tears.Then i left and my 2 BESTIES came to one of my BESTIES was friends with the bully but not anymore .I went back to home and did not say anything.i dont know if i should tell my dad plz help-10 year old
Sometimes when people are bullied, it makes them feel bad about themselves. To feel stronger, they take it out on other people by bullying them. The mean girl picked on you, because she felt bad about herself. There is nothing wrong with you, and just ignore her. <3
Only that piece of that advice is it doesn’t work. I wish I had a dollar for every times someone told me that. That is verbal abuse. When I was 17 I was at 220 and my so-called family called me pig and swine, and a few other names. Of course they wanted me dead and my (yuck!) Stepdad put contracts out on me and would pay my ex-siblings to kill me. Or should I say they wanted to kill the pig! Now I’m 5’3″ and 130 the ex-stepdad is dead and I refuse to have anything to do with my ex-siblings. I have no relatives except my Mother whose only answer is let it go. Never! And the bullies at school at lot of them are over at 200 pounds and they got what they deserved, And I’m very happy I don’t have a family anymore? Who needs a bunch of abusive relatives anyways?
I’m called fat a lot… It really does hurt and I cant ignore it. Sometimes I just wish I could die and I’m trying so hard to be good enough for everybody. Yes, I do cut and yes I am suicidal. Being called fat is one of the things I’m called. Also for the question I feel like bursting into tears whenever I”m called fat also nothing ever makes things better it just floats in my mind reminding me everyday that I AM FAT… Anyways that’s my story…. Bye now!
Daniela, Oh sweetheart, I am so sorry that someone is using words to hurt you. Name calling is really just a way to make another person feel better when they don’t feel very good about themselves. I know it seems like people that name call are powerful, and popular…but, that changes. Daniela, you were made with a purpose. Some of the most beautiful women I know are not SKINNY. Please don’t think being fat or being called fat defines you. Listen, you have taste buds for a reason! It’s OK that you eat. Do not stop eating. Take a paper plate and create 4 parts…write one of these topics on each part…relationships, spiritual, exercise, and food. Color in each piece of the pie according to how “good” it is. Then, write down what you can do to make yourself feel better in any of those areas. Being healthy is the most important, and that includes being kind. The people that are name calling are UNHEALTHY. Don;t strive to be like them. You don’t need to ignore those people, you just need to fill your life up with so much good stuff that you can’t hear them anymore. 🙂 xo
I was called fat today by a group of girls I try my hardest to think postive about my weight but this really hurt. They said I looked like Theodore and I’m goofy I know I’m really stupid and I don’t want them to think I’m upset and give them the satisfaction. I am so upset, I don’t know what to do but this article really helped. Thankyou
What’s the point in life
Hey girl! To answer your question, I think the point in life for you right now is to reflect if you believe what those girls said is really true. It seems as if you’re really sad and I think this is an opportunity to prove them wrong. They’ll be satisfied if you harm yourself. Ignore anyone who calls you such names but if you feel there is something wrong with your weight, you should work for it! This is coming from my personal weight loss story as well 🙂 I was never called fat but I was definitely overweight and losing weight for two years was one of the greatest decisions I’ve ever made. I’ve actually lost a little more than 20 pounds–who knew?! So anyways, I don’t think you should let what those girls said eat you up inside, but if you’re still upset, it’s probably because you believe them. The best advice I have for you is to ignore the motherf*cking haters and make healthier choices ONLY if you personally feel you should. Hope this helps! And remember–the POPsters are always here for you! <3
This article made me sad. I think there’s a lot worse things in the world you could be than fat. No one should feel like they have to lose weight over some thoughtless comment. I’ve never been overweight and I’ve been called fat, and I’m now struggling to recover from an eating disorder. The people passing rude comments are the ones that need to change, not you because of their unwarranted opinions. It’s much better to look chubby and be healthy and happy than to lose weight because you don’t meet the standards of someone who would say hurtful things to you. Maybe they’re saying it because they feel bad about themselves, hurt people hurt people, rise above it.
“no one can make you feel inferior without your consent”
when I was younger my brothers wrote a song about me called “YOU EAT LIKE A PIG” the will sing it to me everytime I eat :'( it hurt so bad
My sister got the habit of calling me fat from our father. I even thought about committing suicide on her birthday. “surprise, you don’t have to feel ashamed of being related to me anymore.” I’ve decided to remove her from my life, but I’m the bad guy for doing so. People talk about how you’re supposed to remove poisonous people from your life so why does that rule change because she’s family?
I’m so sorry for what your sister put you through! That sounds awful 🙁 No one deserves that kind of treatment, and just remember to smile; you are beautiful! (You are right to try and avoid her- you shouldn’t have to put up with that crap.)
I used to be very skinny as a child, but since middle school, I’ve put on some weight. I’m average for my height, (I’m 15 years old, 118 pounds at 5’4 and I’m an ectomorph) but my family (especially my little brother) makes fat jokes. They used to bother me a lot, but now, I deal with it by telling them that I’m not fat- I’m just big boned. (Or during Christmas, I told them I wasn’t fat, I’m festively plump xD)
I find that it’s so much easier to make a joke out of it and make them laugh. It shows everyone that I’m not bothered and that I really don’t care. In that sense, the atmosphere suddenly becomes friendlier and the joking doesn’t feel like it’s really intended to hurt me anymore as I am laughing with them! (And my “I’m not fat, I’m-” jokes are pretty hilarious :))
Anyway, I completely understand that it’s so hurtful and unkind when people try to put you down- but don’t let them get to you! Chin up, gurl! 🙂 We’re here for you, and you’re absolutely beautiful!
Im 4’11 and weigh 113 and short for my age so im more compact and i hate it people who dont know me will say i am and it really does hurt. It encourages me to work harder to prove them wrog and laugj in their face when im in better shape. People are NOT fat they jusy have extra fat no one should be described as fat
hi everyone my name is Sophie in confidence I am going to tell u my story x I had a boyfriend called Reuben it was stupid of me to go out with him I thought he was nice I was wronge … I dumped him and since then he has been calling me ugly fat a sket a slag dumb and a geek I cant take it anymore !!!I cant help the way I am I no im not the hottest girl n the world but im definatly not fat far from it not really that ugly im a bit of a slag I suppose I walk around with short skirts full make up extensions ect but anyway don’t let people bring u down for who u r u need to be proud of who u r be proud to be different 🙂 bye for now
I had always been as thin as a rail. That is until I gave birth to my son and I ballooned. Even though I am not overweight, people still call me fat because they might be comparing me to my old self. I am a size 10 now. I do not mind being told that I gained weight or i got bigger but what i dont appreciate is the fat jokes….people throwing jokes as if they own me or had the slightest bit of idea what im going through. My father in law told me he’d ask someone to kidnap me and hide me from the world for 6 months until I lose the weight
Or that since I am going to be a lawyer I should trim down or no one would hire me. Sometimes it hurts that all the good things you accomplished go down the drain just because you have a bit of unwanted flab somewhere. I hate living in a world where you are nothing when youre not thin.
I’m in school still and people compare me to a chipmunk and call me fat saying I’m storing for the winter even though winters ending it hurts I try to just brush it off but it hearts each time it feels like someone’s stabbed you in the heart I have had a medical condition to do with my weight and I’m recovering but every time people call me fat I feel like I wanna be anerexic just to prove them wrong but I that’s bad so I won’t but it just hurts so bad I feel like they have put a tag on me that I can’t shake off they wind me up cause they know I’m not quick enough to get my stuff back when they take It it’s hard but as people who are called fat or overweight we’ll muddle through don’t worry
I just suddenly been overwhelmed with a horrible feeling. I’m not overweight, but I’m not entirely happy with how I look.
so for the past 3 months i’ve been eating better and improving myself and I’m really getting a vibe from it. But I’m broken down to the bottom again. This girl i know, out of NOWHERE in our conversation, decided to tell me I look fatter. Why? the F? I don’t understand her reason. It’s getting on my nerves so much now, because she’s not even fat and she always complains that she’ll get fat. These people seriously get annoying. So even though I work so hard, she doesn’t give a damn about what I’d feel if she tells me that. So I told her that was mean and she covered it up with a halfas*ed excuse about my muscles or something. It’s so offensive. You’re honestly right, cassie. Fat and whatever you want to call someone with a little bit of extra weight is not right and I’m definitely changing the way I feel about this person. Her warped sense of beauty. I honestly don’t even know anymore. I don’t know what to do.
I should just forget about it andd forgive her but its hard and I don’t know. I just can’t believe she’s so selfish. I can’t believe it at all.
and it hurts.
Gurl, as hard as it is, feel sorry for that poor girl who was unkind to you! She’s clearly jealous, and I know it’s tough, but if she says anything, just give her a condescending smile and brush it off. Some people try to put you down because they’re so jealous of how beautiful you are, and those people are just not worth it!! 🙂
I sincerely hope that my words offer you solace, but I know how hard it is to feel broken and hopeless. I’ve been through it before, and I really felt like I wanted to die. But you know what? Those rude, jealous, and immature people would just win. What better way is there to get back at them than to hold your head high, keep striving to better yourself and achieve your goals, and look beautiful & fabulous?
Chin up, gurl! 🙂 We’re all in this together, and we’ll all support you! Just like anyone else reading this post, you’re beautiful and let no-one ever tell you otherwise!
One day when i was 13 my dad was driving me home from a doctor’s appointment and i asked him if we could go for coffee and he said….
“no, we cant. You heard what the doctor said about your weight”
“but dad….the doctor didn’t say ANYTHING about my weight”
“that’s only because your SO FAT that the doctor didn’t even want to mention it.”
This made me cry, but he didnt ever apologize.
Okay what the hell?! I’ve been scrolling through these comments and feeling sad, but this is the only one that has made me want to stop and comment. That is awful, and it’s called psychological abuse. Annie, I hope you know that is NOT right, and is not what a father should even THINK of saying. If he does this on a regular basis, you really need to cut him out of your life, like Ashe did to her sister above, and you should consult a counselor, because that is literally abuse. I’m so sorry you had to go through that.
Well, the truth hurts.
My mother, up intil recently had not missed a day at the gym since I was born. 20 years and going strong. So needless to say, my family is in pretty good shape. Me? I work out 5 times a week, and take my supplements to look better.
I have never been called fat. That’s cause I’ve never been fat I suppose, but I know the feeling. I’ve always had a small frame, so gaining muscle was always difficult for me. All the girls always thought I was supper skinny which sucked considering how much work I put into getting bigger.
Different problem, yet the same complex.
HOWEVER, I appreciate the criticism. Over the years the hard work has payed off, but I always do appreciate it when someone tells me I’ve lost muscle, or gained fat, or neglected to workout my legs so now I have toothpick legs.
Criticism hurts, but it’s good to recieve it. If you’re fat, and know because someone told you, far from being offended you should be thankful. Thankful that someone cares enough to be honest with you. Get up and do something about it rather than crying at home.
You are joking, aren’t you? I am overweight. I gained 60 lbs after my son died because I could not handle the loss. Relatives have called me fat and it hurts. I know I need to lose weight and am working on that in my own time. What I do not need is commentary or personal attacks by people who are supposed to love and support me. I appreciate it when people notice that I am healthier, however I do not need to be torn down to motivate me. It hurts me very much and I wish they would stop tearing me down and take a moment to look in the mirror. We are all flawed.
RAY, get the F&5K out of this page! Idiot
You should be thankful that people call you fat? We all know that we’re fat because of people like you and the rest of society labeling and ridiculing us. For most of my life, I was blessed to have a decent metabolism. I considered myself average in weight, not model skinny. I was happy with my size but my own mother and grandmother would constantly critique my body. In the past three years I fell into deep depression and gained 60 pounds in one year. And you know what I got? Instead of a mother who would support me and encourage me to overcome my depression, she would brush it off as me making things up to get attention and then criticize me for how fat I looked EVERY DAY. And I should be THANKFUL for that?! I hit my rock bottom and was struggling to recover while my own mother and grandmother continued to bring me down and ridicule my body image and I should be THANKFUL?! I needed help, a hand to reach out and tell me that things would get better and that I would be able to overcome this. I needed a friend who would support my goal to losing weight and commended on my hard work for trying to take back control of my life. I never got that. All I got was society critiquing my body image. There is nothing to be thankful for. I am recovering from depression because I want to take back control and be happy again. Telling me how awful I look and saying that I look like I’m a pregnant woman is not motivational. It is degrading. People like you should be ashamed to even think those tactics work on a person’s psyche. You’re no better than those magazines and public media who constantly bring down people.
When I was living in Japan, all my friends and students there said it is normal to tell someone when they are starting to look fat. They think it’s helpful, and that not telling someone that they should lose weight is being a bad friend.
I don’t like it. As a kid I was called fat by my immediate family members, even though I wasn’t fat. I just matured faster and was thicker than most other girls my age (I’m actually the smallest person in my immediate family). I feel I am a pretty strong and energetic person, even more so when I was younger. But I felt like I was emotionally scarred into believing I was fat and obsessed over my body so much that it’s affecting me majorly as an adult. I’m just starting to realize I have an eating disorder.
Ok, this is fundamentally WRONG. I’m only 12. I shouldn’t be thankful that everyday I wake up and wonder “ do I look fat in this outfit?” Should I be thankful that I have been body shamed almost my entire life? I can’t remember a time when I didn’t care about my looks. I have tried everything. I even tried skipping meals.its unhealthy and it’s wrong. Most beauty standards are completely unrealistic. My waist isn’t tiny and that’s ok. That doesn’t change my self worth. It doesn’t change who I am. I’m not sitting at home crying. I’m working hard to accept my body, and people like you don’t help. When did “fat” become a bad word? It’s simply an adjective, simply a fact.You don’t sound like someone who has ever experienced the pain of fat shaming, and you know nothing about fat peoples struggle. Please stop assuming that because someone is fat they are lazy.
Have a nice day
Being called fat can hurt you, when I was growing up my brothers wrote a song about me being fat and eating like a pig 🙁
My boyfriend told me the other day that he thought I wasn’t as “in shape” as I used to be. He hesitated long enough to think of the words, that clearly he was thinking of a “nice” way to say I’ve gained weight. I am by no means fat, or skinny. I’ve always been pretty active and naturally athletic and muscular. But never thin. I’ve had pretty great confidence and self esteem. But the past couple boyfriends (and really good looking friends) have slowly made that harder. When my boyfriend told me that, I felt like it broke me. The one person in my life that I thought, thought of me beautiful no matter what…. well I don’t believe him now. I can’t believe him. I look in a mirror and see every single flaw, every extra pound. I can’t imagine how to be naked in front of him now. I love him and he’s the man I want to be with for the rest of my life, and he says the same about me. But clearly physical attraction is important to him. What if some day I’m in an accident and no longer am “pretty?” I could have a stroke, or get caught in a fire! What will he think when I’m pregnant? How can I trust that he won’t leave me someday for a prettier, more fit person? How do I get past this?!
I am 27 years old , 5’8 and weigh 240 lbs. I been fat all my life. I don’t even eat in front of my dad because it grosses him out. My mom calls me fat everyday too. I was the only sister of 4 who was always overweight. My scheduling manager’s kid even called me fat. I heard him tell his mother that girl is so fat I fell in love with one guy and he broke up with me, I took it so hard because I truly feel like he was the only guy who would love a girl my size. There is no way I will ever have a gorgeous man who will be okay with my fat self. I wish I could say I starve myself but its too hard. I truly dislike myself. I feel like growing up I was seen as the ugly, dark-skinned, dumb and FAT sister. My other sisters are nurses and pharmacists and I guess my parents never really cared about my education, I remember them always saying I never study, and that what I am taking in university was a waste of time. I tried so hard, so hard to make them be proud of me too. Ran home everytime I did well on a test just to prove that I wasn’t dumb and smart as my sister and maybe they could talk about me to their friends. Anyway, I realized my parents didn’t really care for my education so I majored in whatever I wanted, til this day after graduation if you asked my folks what my major was they couldn’t tell you. Have no clue.
god, you know… I get it. I really f’in get that. and it sucks. the only thing worse than not having the support of your parents is not feeling the support you yourself.
As someone who has been drastically overweight… health endangering overweight…. it is a day by day, month by month situation. It hurts. It’s always going to hurt but when you choose to ignore and focus on your progress could be the best day of your life. GO Nima. GOOOOO!!!!! GO out and do great things and feel wonderful about yourself because that is who you are. I really believe than.. Forget ignorance and just be in your success. You are not you because of your size. You are you because of your fight and power and strength. I’m not even bullshitting. I really, genuinely believe in your ability. And Cassey believes in you. She is so positve how can you even handle that?! You are you and you are beautiful. Please, please, please use your self awareness to make the world a better place. xx
I’m called fat alot. It hurts. Since 3rd grade my self-esteem has gone from high to none at all. I can forgive but I can’t forget. It really hurts. Some days I just come home and cry. I don’t think some people really think before they call you names. They just do it but either way it still hurts. I have lots of friends and I do well in school but emotionally I’m broken. Some days I don’t even want to go to school cuz I don’t know if someone’s going to call me fat or not. My brother even called me fat. One time he got mad at me and he told me to move out the way “with my fat self”. I’m just… Tired of it all. Even my best friend called me fat. She was like ur so fat and I know she didn’t mean it cuz she was laughing but it still hurts. Sometimes I can laugh it off but other times I walk away or go in the bathroom to cry.
don’t worry, i will definitely help you. contact me
Im called fat everyday and I Cry alot my sisters call me fat and my dad and people in the street and it hurts very much I was out from half an hour and then I was standing these 2 guys were talking about my size then I went home and I cant forget it :'( my sisters talk about my size infront of ppl and I feeeell embarressed and I want to cry till now
my mom dad, sister all call me fat. my sister lost her charger and she blamed it on me i said “no i didnt! i didnt i didnt!” she said “YES U DO!” i asked “WHY WOULD I LOOSE IT?” she said “YOUR FAT! UR SO FAT” and i started crying soo much and i still am.
like 1/2 a year ago when she was nicer to me i told her how much it hurts me when people call mee fat. i tell her i cry every time. i tell her i think of suicide way too much, i told her i even tried it once i told her i have cut. i have about twice but my sister finds out and says “WHY U CUTTING FATTY? IT WONT MAKE U SKINNIER” so i just scratch my legs really hard. im 12 and my sisters 16. she told me how she sometimes is called fat and doesnt like it but shes pretty skinny and i dont want to use anything she told me against her and i begged her just now if she could stop using it against me i was in tears asking and she said “GO AWAY U FAT SLUT” it seems like people arnt judged by their kindness or how they are on the inside….people are judgd if they are fat or skinny. if ur skinny ur perfect and if ur fat ur an ugly beast
I get called fat by my step brother step sister and 13 year old step sister she calls me stretch marks but it’s not my fault my grandmother used to feed me a lot when I was younger and she thought it was cute but now I cry. My steps even called me these things today and I also get called fat from some boys and girls but honestly I’m chubby not fat I don’t understand why the girls and boys pick on me when there is gigantic girls in my school unless they like me or want a reaction out of me so yeah here is my everyday life by the way I’m 12 years old
right im 15 ive had it to but whats that thing what pweople say words dont brake somthig but trust it dose but not being funny but get over it ive had a lot of people trying to kill her self but it didnt work i talked her self out of it and it is just over a stupid word and if u dont like it then get help or do working out please dont just watch ur self get hart fight for your self x
Oh my goodness, you poor dear. 🙁 Keep your head up high, and I know it’s hard, but don’t let those people bother you! You are BEAUTIFUL! 🙂 Smile! 🙂 Those rude and immature people are just so jelly (jealous) because you’re so pretty, so they feel the need to put you down. I’ve seen the prettiest girls sobbing their hearts out because they’ve felt so broken by the hurtful things people say, but they didn’t realize that people were just jealous and were trying to hurt them! I think that’s what is happening to you. So every time someone says something nasty, just remember that they’re just jealous of your beauty. 🙂 No one can take that away from you, and don’t let them! 😀 Smile everyday and be happy, Alexis! xoxo
It’s so weird… I was chubby when I was 8, and I was pretty fat when I was in my mid 20s. For some reason, I was NEVER bothered when people call me fat. I remember one of my good friend yelled out to me saying “Fat bxxxh!” (we call each other names like ahole so the b* word didn’t bother me, though nor the fat part). And a lot of friends during my fat period told me I have gotten so fat.
I had a friend asked me “What the hell happened to you?? What did you do?? Gotten so dxmn fat!!”
And my answer was ” *laughs* Lol, nothing! That’s probably why! Well most of the activities that I do is sit, and I work an office job.”
Not sure why, I actually feel strange that so many people are bothered by it, but that I actually don’t. I didn’t care that I was fat, and I knew I was fat, but I was happy. People calling me fat was the same as people telling me I am a girl, telling me a fact, or people telling me hey your hair has gotten longer.
I did lose a lot of weight later however, due to me wanting to present myself better.
I think, lose weight for yourself if you feel bad about it, whether it’s because people bluntly tells you a fact, or it’s because of your health, or you feel that you don’t look good. If you feel healthy and happy about your image, it doesn’t matter what others say, someone telling you you have gotten bigger is no difference from someone saying your hair has grown longer, just tell them :”ya, I know. I am happy the way I am though.”
I admire you so much! 🙂 You are absolutely right!
I was called fat today by one of my friends. It bothered me because she did it with two people present during lunch time. I felt so embarrassed that i barely ate and on top of that she said that i didn’t eat because she had offended me. I just wished she would of pulled me to the side and told me.
i haven’t eaten lunch in a month
Don’t starve yourself to for an unrealistic beauty standard! You are beautiful the way you are.
It hurts to be called fat no matter what age you are. I am 45 & overweight. When I was younger I used to be skinny. Yesterday, I was leaving work & a complete stranger approached me & called me a fat ass pig about 7 or 8 times, then called me a fat ass bitch, then told me that I had low intellegence, and said she knows all about “my kind”. I cried all the way home. When I got home my husband held me whole I cried & told me how beautiful I am, & he said he wished he wouldve been there. He prob wouldve killed her had he been there.
For me I will never forgive I’m at a young age and I feel self conscience everyday. My mother often tells me to be on a diet and to stop eating or you won’t be able to fit in your shorts. I now every night look in the mirror and see fat I try to re assure myself by looking at other mirrors and see if I’m actually that fat. Everyone who commented here all feels or felt horrible pain and I bet most of you remember the comments and just cry or feel horrible. I hate people for being so rude to people and making others feel bad about themselves.
I’m 13 and people called me fat. When i post pictures on facebook they always comment you’re fat and stuff and for them it’s a joke but it hurts me a lot.. What i do is pretending to laugh at it because if i take it seriously people will say i’m sensitive and they won’t understand me. i try losing weight but i cant. It hurts when you’re being called fat.. Like people are so judgemental. And all of us are different no one is the same with others. There are different types of person and not everyone will be skinny and some of them won’t get fat. And just because they’re skinny they’re going to call others fat? What if i’m pretty? Can i just call you ugly and it won’t hurt you? Think about it. Never call a girl fat even if you’re joking because we/girls take it seriously we became self-conscious and lose confidence. Because we want to look good. And some of us are not strong enough to ignore it all.
Nicole, I’ve just turned 14. I feel so fat too.
I just can’t stop binging and I’m scared. I used to be so healthy but then I screwed everything up and now I don’t know what to do. I’m so scared about it all. I want to be healthy and skinnier and leaner, not binging everyday. I’m so scared.
This is probably hard to believe but I don’t think there’s been a day where I am not called fat. The word fat haunts me. I use to starve myself in primary school and now I am under weight and done with school. For some reason I am still being called fat even though its no longer there. It shouldn’t hurt anymore but it does. I see a fat girl everytime I look in the mirror but my t shirts extra small and too big for me. People ruined me. I hate this life.
I needed to hear this. It feels like I have no one to talk to about how utterly huge I am, even though my dad and mum are so supportive. It feels like they cannot grasp the situation entirely, even though my mum shares my thighs as well.
I was sitting on a bus once and as I was getting off, two girls started sniggering and pointing at my thighs. I was humiliated, embarrassed and that night, I threw up my dinner and went to sleep. I exercise rigorously every day, I eat relatively healthy despite being a desserts blogger and still, my thighs do not lose weight, my hips widen and my stomach is not flat.
It is nice to know I am not alone in what feels like a daily struggle with my weight. Why are humans so cruel and judgemental? Never, despite being judged myself, have I judged someone on looks or what they wear. Why would I? But it seems no one else seems to question that.
I also have this friend, she can eat a family KFC meal all by herself without putting on a kilo. And she does. Often. Once we were walking together then she stops, looks at her reflection and starts complaining of how fat she is and I cannot help but say, look at me. She hides a smirk, I saw it, and then said ‘no you’re curvy’. What.
No one, be they a teen like me or an adult, should have to go through this. Thank you for posting and sharing your experiences, it feels like I am not alone.
You sound like a beautiful person, have a wonderful day!😊
Same here ;( .. I’ve tried exercising, practicing bullima nervousa, but still it doesn’t work .. recently I being humiliated by my own aunt by calling me fat in front of our relatives .. I was offended by her statement .. not only her, but people around me 🙁
Everyday I would be called fat. It hurt me everyday of my life now for the past 3 years. I was in 3rd grade when people started calling me fat everyday from morning to night. At school people called me fat and everyday when i walked home with my brother from school he would always be the first one to get to the house and when i get back, he would say ” Wow why are you so fat and slow?” And it hurt my feelings A LOT and i had to deal with my brother’s “words of evil” when i see him after school. My birthday’s coming up in 2 days and i would litterally accept the gift of my brother stop calling me fat and bullying me for even just a day. It just hurts and my brother just keeps calling me fat. Even right now when i type this hes singing a random song and replacing the lyrics wih just the words You are fat. My 2 ” friends” at church sometimes call me fat too. I just am glad that there are people out there that had the same pain and experience as me and that I’m not the only one feeling the same pain and sadness. I really hope this will change when i go into highschool.
I’ve been called fat before actually twice and it hurt mostly at school and I know that it is not a lot of info but feel free to email me.
I am 33 years old and I have been a big girl all my life. So ever since I was like 8 years old I was called fat by all the kids I went to school with. They would ask me why I was so fat. Come on I was a little girl. but as I got older things they said kept on intensifying. But I would never cry infront of anybody to let them it bothered me. I would always run to the bathroom or just wait until after school. But just the other day at work i was walking by somebody and they were right there in the way, so I said the right thing..excuse me, they did not move, so i said it again and they still didn’t move. So i told the guy to move…he didn’t move at all.. as i walk away he says, well maybe if you weren’t so fat you would beable to fit though. being called fat to me is like somebody telling you that you should kill yourself. IT FLAT OUT JUST HURTS..
It real hurt when u called fat , ther is this guy i meet on fb him told me him love me and i love him too him ask me to come and see him , but am afrea to go becaus him call me fat all the time i dont if him see me if him will love me, but i love him am try to lose wight but it not working ,dose any one know wat will make me lose alot of wight so fast, apart from exsties, pls i need someone to tell some thing because am runing out of my mind, everybody call me fat
Reading this entry really made me feel understood. I’ve been fat my whole life (except 9th, 10th, & 12th grade because I did cheerleading and volleyball). But I never got bullied for it. I was a happy girl, not necessarily popular but I’ve always been on okay terms with everyone. But its is true that when someone calls you fat you do forgive, but never forget. The first time I got called fat was in 7th grade. My bestfriend got mad at me, I don’t even remember why, and she yelled “FATASS, FATASS!” at me in front of the whole class. It seriously took all of my strength to hole in my tears. I was so upset about. She never apologized, but I forgave her.
I was also called fat today.
I have a youtube channel where I would post random videos. Some were videos where I’d answer questions from my instagram followers (I was celebrating my 10K followers). So everything was okay. I got a fair amount of views. But I hadn’t posted in two months and when I checked on my videos, I saw rude comments pointing out how fat I am and that I should lose weight.
I was made fun of; cyberbullied.
I cried for an hour in my bedroom. Then I went on my treadmill and worked out until I burned off 1000 calories. I know its unhealthy..
The behavior those people displayed made me question the humanity of people. I mean, I’m only eighteen years old. Up until now, I had never worried so much about pleasing society. I just don’t know what to think about some people. Society criticizes, bullies people and then we wonder why anorexia, bulimia, self-harm, and suicide exist. It all fun and name calling until someone gets hurt. Then comes the overpowering guilt in bullies that causes them to say “oh why did she do it?” “she was so loved” “she was gorgeous” when they are the ones who pushed those people over the edge.
Those people who bully others into self-harming and other problems ont care for a while and then they go back to bullying the next person. When will it end? How many more people have to die before they are heard? Calling someone fat is a form of bullying and it needs to end.
Oh My Godd!!!! This post made me feel so much better after crying last night when this guy messaged me to say that I’ve gone fat!!
I was at the gym and this guy that I started to ignore came up to me and I just walked away and then 10 minutes later he texts me saying “why have you gone fat? you look stressed up right and your face has gone all chubby and sh** and you are still acting up”- at this point I was running on the treadmill and when I saw this message, I got off as quickly and humanely possible and walked to the changing rooms and I was crying soooo much because it was a very vindictive and horrible thing to hear some guy say!
I couldn’t sleep at night because I was thinking over and over again what he said to me and I was really upset because my bf laughed and said that it’s a silly thing to cry about! But for me its not!!!!! And I’m looking at the messages and just feel like crying!
YOU ARE SOOO RIGHT!! The Emotional effect that this has on someone is bigger than anything because like you said it attacks our most “vulnerable self”!
Some people in this world are so vindictive and just unpleasant
I’ve been called fat all my life i’ve dealt with being over weight from the age of five because of medication other kids would always call me fat I can’t remember a day I wasn’t self conscious of my body I can’t remember a time I was actually happy and didn’t feel low about it right now i’m still fighting being over weight other people my age and younger are still calling me fat, ugly, stupid and other things like cow pig and other bigger animals i’ve even had a kid say I probably weighed about a thousand pounds it hurts badly but I try to ignore it but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.
I spoke about this issue on my video blog. Perhaps, you and your readers might want to listen to it. Thank you for speaking about this and raising this issue.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYN2ul-98dI
i’m 18 years old and kids always call me fat when they see me walking on the street. it hurts so bad.. i don’t even know what to do anymore. i’m trying to lose weight but it’s not working. my body is so squishy, it’s not even the kind of fat that you can lose fast .. i hate myself, and i don’t want to hear anyone call me fat anymore..
Your perfect.
*You’re
When I was 15 I went on holiday, there was this pub me and my family went to where you could play pool and just generally hang out. One night when me and my sister were at this pub playing pool these boys some younger than us and one about my age started making loud jokes about us being ‘pigs’ and being fat. I had to listen to their abuse whilst finishing the game of pool with my sister. When we quickly finished the game i left and sat at the table with my family and silently cried. I cried all that night and vowed to change my appearance. 9 months later and 3 stone lighter (i’m 120lbs), i am skinny and healthy but I still can’t help feeling fat- I scrutinize my appearance and weight every day. I don’t think i’ll ever forget how those boys made me feel and I’ll always worry about how I look because of them.
looks like you got fatter
People like you are disgusting.
A few weeks ago my school took doing pictures and we got te pictures back last week. I was very happy with my pictures. My math teacher was look at all the pictures and when she saw mine she said i looked beautiful. And that made me feel so good about my self because im feel so ugly because of my weight. Anyways once all the other students left she called me back to her desk and she said i looked very beautiful and I said that thank you. But then she said that if i were her daughter i would put you on a little diet. And after she said that i couldn’t understand what my feeling was. I was hurt and sad and angry. And I had to hold my tears back because i didn’t want my frieds to know what was happening. I couldn’t stop thinking about what happened. And when I got home i went strait to my bedroom jumped on my bed and i just bursted into tears. Ad it was the kind of crying where your face turn all red and you can’t breathe. I honestly have to say that was one of the worst days of my life. I felt so humiliated and ashamed. I know that im fat. I know that I need to lose weight. Hello?! I look in the mirror everyday! I just don’t need anyone, let alone my teacher, telling me that im fat
I am not kidding one bit when I say this. I want to kill the person that called me fat, called like 30 other different people. P.s. he is as skinny as crap so he thinks its alright to call people fat. He is the biggest douch bag I’ve ever known and I want him to die. Horribly. Look I know I’d never actually kill him but still. I can only hope
It’s so crazy I swear this is like exactly how I feel. Today in class a guy was talking to his friend and kept looking at me an I heard him say “that’s the kinda girl i need when I’m cold so her blubber can keep me warm.” And he also called me a whale. He’s also super skinny and so he probably thinks its alright to call other people fat too. It was soo disrespectful and rude. It hurt. I’m tired of being called fat. I have been overweight my whole life and I just can’t seem to lose the weight no matter how hard I try.
And also I feel like I want him to die. He’s jus so rude.
I honestly feel what you feel.. Weeks before I graduated from sixth grade, one of my boy classmates poked me with a pen and I was just joking around saying, “I didnt feel that,” and then his friend comes and says “because you have blubber,” I didnt cry but I felt really bad because he was also skinny and also the person who poked me with a pen was. I would’ve cried but they would make fun of me anyways so don’t worry I feel ya and have a nice day you are beautiful! .x
~ Miksta 😉
Reading this (and your post The Not So Glamorous Life) is so inspirational. You are so strong and beautiful Cassey! What you described going through your body image/feelings is exactly what i’m going through now and it’s nice to hear about someone else overcoming it. It gives me hope that I can overcome it too.
Thank you so much. xoxo.
Im 13, and ever since i was little i have been called fat. Its nothing like her story, its worse. Guys call me fat all the time, or they say i take steroids or call me a bulldozer. And i cant forget what they say, it repeats over and over in my head. Im very in to sports.
I can relate to you so much. I’m 16, and overweight. Not SUPER heavy, but I got chunky arms and extra in the middle. I was made fun of in middle school, especially by boys. Even two of my best friends called me fat multple times. Some best friends huh?
But I am telling you that once you get through puberty you’ll even out a bit. Continue with sports. The words will hurt, but eventually you’ll be in high school! I have not been made fun of once in high school. I actually was insecure and people told me I wasn’t fat. As you grow, the people around you mature with you. Unfortunately, middle school kids can be the cruelest, and most ignorant.
Just know I feel your pain, because I’ve felt it. Just know it wil get better 🙂
Your story sounds somewhat similar to mine. I was also a chubby kid and was called fat by my first crush and so-called “friends” of mine. And like you I had never paid attention to my weight or thought there was anything wrong with the way I looked like until people made it a point to let me know there was something wrong with it.
That’s the thing with “beauty”, it’s a social concept. What a world it would be if no one ever mentioned to others that there was something bad or funny about the way they looked. And if that “perfect” image wasn’t constantly bombarding people through media. You’re right in that people need to lose weight for the right reasons, there’s no doubt being overweight can pose health issues and that should be the focus, not looks.
Thanks for sharing and being so honest about your personal experiences 🙂
– Janice <3
I can relate so much to this article. I have step cousins who aren’t even related to me , and I think I was about 14 and this girl said I had a fat ass. Up to that point in my childhood, I was so busy trying to be a good student and doing lots of sports at school, weight was hardly an issue. I’m an exact copy of my father who I haven’t seen in 15 years to this day- most of the family on that side are genetically heavier than on my mother’s side. This stepcousin was 11 and she was worried about weight O.O ! Now, looking back, I feel kind of sorry for her, but back then it would make me so upset. Lol, when I was 11, I was trying to take the Kent test so I could get a good mark and get into a girls’ grammar school, so that mum wouldn’t have to pay for my education during secondary school. Come to think of it, when I was young, I reckon I had my priorities straight.
I think the pressure hit when I was ending secondary school and the first few years of university. Every holiday I used to come home, and there would be a passing comment about my weight. I am still sick of it to this day. Dunno why, but my older family members are always competing with me by comparing their weight on the scales to me. I’m an only child- I thought I was free from all the rivalry within the family! :O
I think I had finished first year of university and I was finding it difficult to adjust to my course and the lifestyle there in many ways. Plus when you’re 19, emotionally you’re not the most stable person for anything. Anyways, our stepfamily come and visit us most summers, and I remember my mum told me that my stepcousins purposely slowed down the pace of their walking so they dropped behind me, to make scathing comments about how big my thighs were. I didn’t know if they had said anything about me, but that was my mum’s opinion.
But this is what I realised, even though it hurts to hear that I have put on weight…. most people are going to say what they want and poke their nose in your business, no matter what. When you want to be on the treadmill running or doing whatever sport you like, remember you are doing it for yourself, to make yourself better and have more self-confidence. I also do taekwondo as long some gym when I feel up to it. Because sport is a good way of deviating boredom from an engineering degree! LOL.
My stepdad always gives me good advice: that it’s important to be a nice person no matter what. Its hard to find nice people nowadays, if someone says mean things, it always stems from some insecurity about themselves. Let people say what they got to say, but your responsibility is to let it not affect you. It’s your journey alone to help you become stronger in the mind. Having a good life is about being strong and happy in the mind as well as going after all the things you want in your life (good career, nice house, etc..)
Be the best you can be. Take people’s critiscism, turn it into something constructive to help you become as perfect as you can be. Every cloud has it’s silver lining. And smile ! 🙂 life is lovely xxxxxxxx
Also, yes. I’ve been called fat. Today, in fact. However, I’m a whole lot of awesome…and honestly? Her skinny little body and flat hair couldn’t hold all the awesomeness that I have. That’s what I did about it.
I absolutely love this comment. You go girl!
I. Freaking. Love You.
I’ve struggled with eating disorders for nearly a decade, and I gained a LOT of weight in one of my recovery attempts. It’s always been a sore point for me- I thought I was fat when I was 6 years old. Who needs to be worrying about that stuff that young? Even when I was sick and needed treatment for anorexia, my body image was bad enough that I cried every day about being the “fattest” one there.
The other day a huge blowup happened with someone I thought was my friend. She’d taken me in while my family figured out what to do due to a lot of different work situations, but in her rampage of insults, “fat” got thrown in a LOT. She knows that “fat” is a four letter word to me, and that it’s more hurtful than anything else she could say.
She also called a friend of hers that I’ve been talking to and have a budding relationship with and tried to tell him how disgusting and obese I am, and he will be grossed out by me.
Needless to say, I’m devastated and hurt and so many other things. Reading this made me feel a lot better, though…just reading or hearing other people’s stories and knowing that not everyone thinks it’s okay to go around calling people fat helped calm me down.
What’ll help even more…a good pilates session 😉
I grew up in Malaysia, and we are not like people of the Western culture, who are very very careful about what they say when it comes to approaching a topic on someone’s weight. If you want to make a comment about someone’s weight in my family, you just say whatever’s on your mind. So when I was young and had bad eating habits, people within my family would constantly tell me that I needed to lose weight because they were finding it hard to buy clothes for me, or that I had chubby arms. People always pointed out that I gained weight at family gatherings: in public. It used to tear me up inside and every time I protested, they would argue back saying that they are my family and they could say whatever they want about my appearances and that this was just a part of our culture and that i was being over sensitive. As I grew up i realised that this is so wrong. NO matter where you come from, one should still think very carefully about what they say before they say it. You don’t know how much it will hurt. Anyway I went on to lose 8 kg and I am so proud of myself now. I love the way I look and i don’t compare myself to others anymore. My whole family is shocked and are actually asking me for advice on how to lose weight. So be happy and hang in there guys xx mwahs
Wow Cassey, for some reason I just assumed that you had a perfect toned body your entire life. I never would have imagined this happened to you. This just makes me idolize you even more. I teared up while reading this because I had the same thing happen in my childhood. Stay strong!! You’re an inspiration to all of us!!
hey Casey! I just wanna say you are beautiful and my inspirational!I have always had this ‘baby fat” but as i grew older it kinda grew more. I was bullied for 2 years by a guy. It was simply coz i wasn’t skinny and i was smart. But it still hurt. I am very self conscious and whenever i pass by people in the shops or whatever I feel that they are thinking to themselves, “Wow she is SOOO fat” I do wanna lose weight to get some confidence BUT also to look my best. I know i won’t be stick thin but i wanna look and feel my best you know? anyway i love your vids you are so amazing and i am lucky to have found you!
aw Cassey, your videos are amazing and actually motivate me to get off the couch! I was away for a week and didn’t have internet access and i found that i missed your workouts that are exacerbated by your bubbly personality! I absolutely love how down to earth you are and moreover, how much dedication you show towards exercise and fellow popsters! keep up the good work and you’re an incredible inspiration to me.
<3
Cassey, i am a 14 year old girl that thinks like that everyday of her life. i feel as though i am never good enough and that i always have fat on my body and there is no way to get rid of it so i workout every single day of the week. if i dont, i automatically feel fat. i feel as though i gained some weight. this has been apart of me for years. ever since i was a little girl i have had the word “fat” in my mind. even if i see that lean toned figure in the mirror it is never good enough for me. i have tried and tried again to rid myself of these thoughts but it never seems to work. something happens, i eat something, my jeans fit weird, someone says something, and the list goes on. i am a very self concious person and i cannot help it. i have tried so hard to let it go, when i found you on the internet i thought immediately “wow she is so skinny and lean, i want to be just like her.” Cassey you are the biggest inspiration i have come across, you have touched my life in so many ways and each day i try harder and harder because you have sunk that into my brain. to never give up, to keep pushing yourself. i am so amazed by you and cassey i really hope you realize that you are so beautiful and you have a fantastic body (no lesbo) but cassey just know that you are the best and i ove you so much for everything yo have done. MEERRRRYYYY AALLLMOOST CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!
Oh, how many times i`ve been called fat…at the end on my first prom ever, every now and then througout high school and worst, for about a year or so when i was 10 or 11 and just began to gain weight due to puberty. I remember being so embarassed that i got used to always cross the street and avoid teens because i feared someone will start making fun of me….. I never really got used to it, i now lost some weight and i feel better. What now makes me feel better is the aknowledgement that WE are so much more than our body. We are not defined by our tums and legs and beauty of the outside will never really bring you happines, only for a little while. Now i want to take CARE about my body and worry more about my mind and heart, not about perfect legs. Worrying about my weight stole important years of my life and I refuse to let any more of my time be wasten on feeling bad because of this. 🙂
I was never called fat. Never. But I was. I had a skinny, pretty face, but a bulging belly and a HORRIBLE body. I didn’t care about it, was lazy and ate every junk food I could, from Oreos to puffy Cheetos. Then, starting from 6th grade, I started worrying about my body image. I wanted to re-invent myself in time for secondary grade school. I wanted to look amazing. To be the girl that everyone wanted to be. So, slowly, with the help of my mum, I started jogging every day after school while walking my dog, I banished every single junk food from my diet and started eating healthily. I even discovered a new passion: dancing! I loved dancing, just for fun! (I especially adored Hip Hop :D). I became sporty, athletic, and my body change didn’t only affect me physically: It also affected me psychologically. I became more outgoing, more focused on my studies, and started morphing into a better person! I love you Cassey, you’re so awesome! The most bubbly fitness instructor ever! 🙂
I would never ever ever ever ever call you fat, Cassey! Not bigger, not anything. I only comment it when people look better than before 🙂
I know what it feels like I was called fat when I was little becuase I couldn’t do a cartwheel.=( It still hurts even though I believe I forgave the person. I’m still struggleing with weight and eating. I’m 5’1 and weigh 140 something.It is really bothering me about being fat I want so bad to be able to be 125 and fit into a size 8 or 6 jeans and dress size. I’m sick and tired of being fat that is why I’m doing Cassey’s workouts. I’m trying to stop snacking and over eating but I still can’t stop eating junk food!
Hey Cassey! I’m really glad to read this story because like other girls, I was also a chubby tubby. I was taunted by my cousin who called me “fat pig” in Chinese and sang a song to it. It really hurt and growing up, I was on a mission to lose weight. In college, I didn’t go through the infamous Freshman 15, but I started working out and running with some friends once a week and started shedding pounds. I also have tried home fitness programs like P90X and Insanity, which gave me the results I dreamt of, but couldn’t keep it off unless I found the time to devote to being a size 2. I came across your videos on youtube because I am going for my MBA and needed something that didn’t cost so much as a gym membership (I know there are 10/month ones, but time is of the essence) and after seeing you and how happy you are, I am motivated and have been eating better. You’re like the Asian Jillian Michaels, who was also a chubby child, but a much peppier version of her. Keep up the good work and I think you look fantastic and really push us to do our best.
I’m currently trying my absolute hardest to recover from my eating disorder. This story is exactly the way my eating disorder started and I teared up just reading this. Cassey is truly one of the only people who can make me feel okay with my body. It’s probably super bizarre and uncalled for seeing as I don’t even know her, but I love you Cassey. This girl is sincerely one of the most amazing people I can think of just because of the joy that she brings through her blogs and her workouts. She tries so hard to get everybody to be comfortable in their own skin without unhealthy extremes. Coming across her YouTube videos was one of the best things that ever happened to me <3
You are beautiful and nothing close to fat! You are amazing <3
It really hurts when the people u love most call u fat like family, friends or evn boyfriend. M tryn my best to lose weight now because my boyfriend used to tell me I need to lose weight. I hv starved myself, forced myself to throw up whenever I eat anything, done exercises nd hv taken diff pills. But stil I look at myself in the mirror everyday nd see a fat girl. Now he sees what am going through nd he says he is sorry nd never meant them. I forgive him but I can’t forget these words. These words come to my head whenever I look into the mirror. My body hurts everyday because of these exercises. M beginning to suffer from stomach ulcer. I am really fed up
I’m 52 and can’t keep my weight down anymore. I work at a church & a homeless person we had been trying to help called me fat right to my face. That was bad enough but he keeps calling and asking to speak to the pastor & I keep hanging up on him. I’m afraid of losing my job if anyone finds out I’ve been doing this. It hurt so much – I already hate myself every minute of every day because of my appearance. There are days when I’m so sore from exercising I can hardly get out of bed & days when I’m so hungry my stomach hurts, and this person who doesn’t know me or know anything about me had the nerve to say that. I wish I were dead.
1m 14 i am chubby and all my friends are popular and no one ever said anythin exept for somone i knew from school today sent me a message i dont like you because your fat bit$h, thing is i used to weigh more, i use to cut myself i lost weight but now i feel like more than cutting myself
I am so glad I found this page. I, too, am overweight. Have been since probably, 2nd grade, got worse around 8th grade. I don’t have an eating disorder, I just really hate myself sometimes because of my body. It has become my excuse for things. “Oh he doesn’t like me because I’m fat” or “She had more friends than me because I am fat”. I hate not being able to do things my friends can do. I am 18 years old. I don’t go to the beach. Haven’t been swimming since 7th grade. Prom dresses are limited to things that hide my stomach. Most outfits include shapewear or baggy sweatshirts. It’s an everyday thing for me.
Recently I was called fat by an ex. I have been called fat by a guy I liked back in 2nd grade and then when I was 16 by a guy I was hanging out with. Those two times haven’t bothered me as much as most recently. I ALWAYS blamed my body for the reason I couldn’t get a bf, but then around the summer before Junior year, I started getting boyfriends. I thought “hey my body must not be that bad!”. I had self-confidence. I wasn’t as self-deprecating. But…
Then one of my most recent exes called me fat. This has really gotten to me because it was the one thing I thought I overcame. It sucks having to be 18 and dealing with this and I know there are many other girls out there younger than me who are also feeling this stress and pain. I know from experience how much it hurts and wish other girls didn’t have to go through it like I did.
I understand people who have weight issues, I have one myself. I personally know I’m not that heavy but my family never fails to tell me I am! Especially my brother, when ever I eat around him he always makes an effort to say something rude such as “eating, is that all you do.” When ever I’m sitting on the couch he will always tell me to move because I take up to much room! As a young child I have always struggled with my weight, and quite frankly when I think about my childhood I only seem to remember the rude comments of other people rather than any good times I had! Words hurt and yes they can be forgiven but they can never be forgotten!
Hey Cassey,
It’s kinda nice to hear you say that. I’ve spent years being so self conscious about myself, and my family, even though they know how sensitive I am about food and weight and figures, will still tease me. My mum has never minced her words so I know what she thinks of my body. I just wish it’d all work. I’ve been through the overexercising, the ana, the mia, and now I’m back trying to do a combo of all three, but I can’t lose weight. I can’t even seem to tone up. Calories and exercise are what I spend most of my free time thinking about but it’s so frustrating watching what I eat, staying healthy, and exercising every day, and nothing happening. No girl should ever be called fat. Ever. Full stop.
my mom calls me fat twice a day. when i was in high school thats when it started. homecoming would come around and id try on a dress and shed make a comment saying you look 9 months prego. for 4 years shed say stuff like that. back then i just brushed it off my shoulders. after i graduated she started saying more comment about me being fat im 21 now and it hurts so bad. im not that fat tho but when someone says it enough times it hurts
I came across your blog today and I want to say thank you for posting it. I had a very rough experience today when I went into a store- I wont name it. They guy who was ringing me up started making fat jokes in a different language about me to another worker, not knowing I speak many languages and understood him perfectly. This hurt so much I went to my car and cried for an hour. The pain is so real and reading your post helps me realize I am not alone and I am still beautiful no matter what.
omg it does. so i was with some frends and this kid says y do people think your fat (first off wht the actual fuck) so i was lyk who said tht bout me? long story i just wanted to get this off my chest and btw i kno its mean to call ppl fat but he is the fucking llivin definition of fat! i shudve said look whos talki it was just a shock to me i didnt kno wht to say but yah…im 5’3 and 125 lbs
I feel Horrible. And still today. My dad said to my sace multiple times that i was fat and said sorry but it sticks in your head for your life. Even if you had lost weight. I dont know how to make it better. When iu was 3 i started eating to little when my mom died. Then i was getting to hungry and ate enogh but all junk. I go to a counselor but i am always insecure and asking my familey if this shirt makes me look fat.
Cassey, I have the same problem.I will be entering 7th grade in the fall. I am 12 and i am a size 13. I am not all that insecure about my weight, but i do tend to get jealouse when i see really skinny girls that are really pretty. I know i am not ugly but I do get teased about being overweight. The thing is in school i have lots of friends. No one really talks about me because i am a nice person and everyone likes being around because it doesn’t matter what mood i’m in i am always nice to everyone i meet. But, it really hurts me when i see lots of skinny girs with boyfriends but i can’t get a boyfriend. I really just don’t know what to do.
I’m sorry for the pain you’ve had to endure, but don’t you think it’s made you stronger eventually? Sorry, I’m all for trying to see the bright side of things.
I’ve never been fat, so I don’t know what it’s actually like. I only know what it feels like to believe you’re fat, when you’re not. But for me, I sort of created a “fat” problem for myself so I didn’t have to do something about my actual problems (I don’t think I’m fat anymore, I don’t even freak out over water gains or holiday gains because I now know that it will disappear quickly again). I’ve always been underweight. I’ve been told I’m too skinny on several occasions, and while it might not seem like a problem for the heavier folks, it doesn’t make it less of a problem. I do gain weight, but I it doesn’t stay on very well. Not even the muscle.
Being told by your school doctor that you’re too light and that if you lose even a pound she’ll see to that I get force fed hurts too. I don’t thing it’s wrong for her to say that I’m too skinny or whatever, because I am underweight, and she was pointing it out, though she could have done it in a nicer way.
I guess it’s not actually about being “fat”, it’s about not being good enough, not living up to everyone else’s expections. Sorry for my ramble.
Growing up in middle school and high school I was always a “chubby” girl. I had no idea about health, fitness, or how to treat my body. I ate fast food, drank soda, did no physical activity…that is basically all I knew. In high school I wore sweatshirts almost every day because I felt like it would hide what I was so insecure about and keep me from wearing anything anywhere near form fitting. It was so hard being referred to as fat by guys and other girls. One of the worst parts of my day at school was gym class, I couldn’t even run the mile in gym class. I felt horrible about myself and right after I graduated high school I decided enough was enough. I quit eating fast food, soda, and everything I knew at the time that was bad for me. I started going to the gym 5 days a week doing whatever I physically could to feel better. After almost 3 months I had barely lost any weight. How frustrating! You figure by then anyone would have given up. Right after the 3 month mark the weight just fell off. That was almost 4 years ago and since then I have learned so much more about nutrition, fitness, and living an overall healthy life. I am so much happier now and exercising and eating healthy are a daily part of my life. I wouldn’t have it any other way! All in all, I lost about 40 pounds and went from a size 12-14 to a size 4-6 and even sometimes a 2! I know size doesn’t matter, it matters how you feel about yourself, but I definitely feel better when a size small is too big or I have to go down to a size 2! I am so thankful for this passion for fitness and nutrition that has been growing throughout the last four years. I wouldn’t have it any other way! Thanks to Cassey for adding Pilates into my routine, I am loving it! xo
Aimee
like all the other popsters, i would like to thank you cassey, for your amazing post.
i would also like to share my story about being called fat, and yes, it NEVER goes away.
i come from a chinese family, and the fact that asian people are supposed to be small, lean, skinny did not apply to me. i have always been the bigger sister.
i remember it all started at a family birthday party as well, i was 8 at the time, and my second older sister was wearing this pair of really nice blue mini shorts, and i was minding my own business eating away when my mom said ” you shouldnt eat so much, do you see how nice your sister’s figure is? do you not wanna be like that?”. yes i was 8.
i remember wanting to burst into tears, but i didnt, instead i just put down my plate, even though i was still hungry and just sat there, sad and felt like i was screaming at the top of lungs, except no one could hear me. so, i started starving myself, for a short 5 days, and i couldnt take it anymore. as time went by, i stopped caring about what other people said, because i would use puberty as an excuse and keep telling myself that the fat will just go away as soon as im done with puberty.
and it all began to change last year. my older sister moved out as she started uni. and as i live on the farm, everthing i usually do became doubled. i had to do extra work, and i started to take part in sports and i barely ate because i was loving the way my body started to change. i remember meeting my friend one day and she said “oh my gosh! turn around, so i did, and she was like” waht happend to your ass” and i was like “it’s there!. and she said “no! omg you look so hot in those shorts now!”..and my mom started telling me how pretty i looked without a double chin…so on.. but these comments didnt make me feel as good as i thought they would have. i was beautiful before, i still am now, now matter how i look. everyone is beautiful and no one should be judged by their weight. i have learned to love myself for who i am, although 0fcourse i do whine about my legs not being able to look like gisele bundchen’s ones.
so i would like to thank you cassey, and all you popsters out there for letting me know that im not alone and that no one is perfect 🙂
Thank you Cassey for a beautiful post again. And reading all you popsters comments and stories makes me feel good in that sense of not being alone.
These are some experiences i had in life…..
Being a kid….
I used to be a somewhat skinny kid, or actually just normal sized.
At gym-class one day when i was around 11 years a boy would ask me why my legs were so big. I had as you Cassey, never thought about it myself, i was happy just living a kids life until this day. I pretended not to be bothered by it, but it hurt me so much that i am suffering from it even today, though i have learned to cope with better nowadays. When i look at the pictures from this time though, i can’t see my legs were bigger than any others kids….
mom issues….
When i reached puberty i started gaining weight, and quite a lot. My mom would always feed us with just everything all the time, even if she didn’t eat herself. There were no limits of how much ice-cream, cookies, toasts, pizza, kebabs, cake you could have. Everything was about eating, but when it came to herself she wouldn’t. And i gained weight, a lot due to my puberty, and mostly my legs would grow bigger. I became quite much a sad kid, which got worse when i became a teenager. Today i know i suffered from a sort of depression until my twenties… And food became something comforting. My mom never said it directly but gave me hints of me being fat, but then she would feed me more.
Everytime i would bring the topic up about loosing weight with my mom and that i would try a diet, she would always start aswell even though she didn’t need to. Until today when i have lost weight and she catches me standing on the scale she will quickly go standing on it herself ( i didn’t see her for a year now and the first day she came here now to visit for xmas, weight was the first thing she brought up and wanted to weigh herself and compare with me). If i have been happy about losing weight, she will have to stand on it herself so she can tell me she weighs less than me.
strangers….
When i was about 14-15 i remember being at a cafe with my best friends, this cafe which was “in” and the hip people would go to at that time, we were having a good time laughing, being all girly and i was feeling all good about myself when the manager of the cafe, a guy, would come up behind me and ask me why i looked the way i look, why i was so fat compared to my friends. Just going on about me being ugly. Fool me i tried to laugh it away, but i could feel from the inside how my tears just wanted to burst out. My friend did however defend me (which was very nice), but the whole situation just made me feel so humiliated. When i look back at pictures from this time, sure i was chubby i’m not going to deny this, but not THAT fat. What kind of adult, the manager of a cafe, walks up to his customer which is a teenage girl and goes on about how ugly she is??
There are some more incidents, me moving to south east asia wasn’t very easy either. At this time i was quite at an average size for a european girl, but far from in the asian… People “loved” me because i was white and wanted to take me out and be my friend, though i after a while noticed they were never actually interested in me but having me as a show off (at this time when i moved here you were lucky if you saw 10 other white people in a month so….). All these people i would just ignore completely after a while though. During this time i would hear a lot of comments as “don’t you ever think of what you are eating”, “you are quite big” and so on…. I knew i was at a quite normal shape but this would make me even more concerned about my body. I had old aunties telling me i was fat. The thing was that i was just not fit.
Anyway, my goal is to reach somewhat 55kg, atleast stay below the 60kg mark and with Cassey i have managed to get below 60kg, and it’s not all about the weight, i have become stronger! Not just physically but also mentally even though i still have somewhat to heal from….
However, i’m still standing infront of that mirror. i don’t always trust what i see, i don’t always trust pictures of myself. It feel like i’m never too sure, because times when i have felt good about myself people has told me the other way around… These kind of things can disturb people for many years onwards. Why can’t people help instead of calling people fat or just say nothing at all especially of you don’t even know the person… some people can’t even help that they are overweight because of medicines and medical conditions….
And kids can be cruel, but from who does it come from? Adults, media….
This got a bit longer than i expected it to be…. but thank you all for telling your stories and experiences, thank you Cassey for bringing these kind of topics up. It helps, atleast to know that i’m not alone….
I know excatly how that feels, I have lived with it all my life I usually just brush it off and pay no attention to it.but recently my half brother who is 11 decided to tell me I was fat and probably why i didn’t have a boyfriend……it hurt so much I kinda lashed out and told him the same but i just started working out with my bestfriend and it’s hard i’ll give you that but I know it will be all worth it in the end
Thank you for sharing this story. I really related to it. Like you I was pretty chubby pre-puberty. People called me fat and ugly. It hurts! At that age our self-esteem is just forming and it is fragile. I used to cry about it and to this day I still find myself overly conscious of the areas people criticized when I was only 11 or 12.
As I grew up I re-proportioned. The weight changed from a little inner tube around my waist into boobs and hips. I still don’t have a perfectly flat stomach and my thighs touch. I’d love to lose a few pounds but I am at a healthy weight so I refuse to let that define me. After all of those people called me fat and ugly, today men stop me in the mall to ask if I have a boyfriend. I eat cookies, make friends, go to school, laugh, and work out for myself not anyone else. Of course hurtful comments still affect my self-esteem but I have come to accept who I am. I will never be the tiniest girl and I am learning to live with that because people still find me beautiful for who I am. Hearing those mean things have only made me stronger and more compassionate to others.
I’ll just start out by saying I love your blog cassey! I’m a freshman, in high school that is… (I know, I’m a young’un) but I find that you’re a great role model.. You’re healthy and try to stay healthy, but you have your share of insecurities that make you all the more relatable(:
Putting that aside..
I’m 114 pounds at 5’2. That’s not fat. But my mom is 90 something pounds and my dad is an avid runner, while my ten year old sister has a six pack. So basically I’m the fat one. And my best friend is under 100 pounds at 5’4. I’m in Korea right now and it’s so hard! People are so skinny! The celebrities that are role models for the kids here have like 22 inch waists! People don’t call me fat often but I can feel them thinking it. I think it’s just my insecurity. I HATE it when my sister calls ne fat… Or mentions how her friend is chubby….like me. It bugs me so much. So I guess my worse fear is somebody will call me fat in the future.
I remember I was called fat by my little brother. I was in 4th grade and I didn’t have my shirt on because I was calling out to my mom to help me find something so I could go to my friend’s house. I forgot why but my brother got mad at me and said “Sharon doesn’t want to see your fat belly anyway!” And I got so mad that I slapped him and forced him to apologize. I remember feeling so conscious for that moment but it quickly went away.
I think the only person who calls me fat right now is myself. Weight is all I worry about. For 3 days I’ve had an upset stomach and I know its because I wasn’t eating enough. Even now I hate to admit it. Even though I’ve lost many pounds, I can’t feel satisfied or accept the weight lose because I know it was because of health issues, and pain. I’m recovering right now and plan to make changes as soon as I can. I can’t wait to do your videos again, I’ve gotten so weak ;3;
Great post Cassey! It just goes to show us we’re not alone. We’re all battling past demons to keep in shape and stay positive. I gained a lot of weight after I moved out of home and worked in a pub part-time during college and you can imagine the lack of restraint drunk people show. I remember one time a couple of fellas having an argument and one of them saying ‘Its not over til the fat lady sings, hey give us a song Caroline’, thinking they were the height of witty commentry. Well it was mortifying but it didn’t make me lose weight either.
I started losing weight when I became happy and content with me. I’ve maintained a healthy weight now for 6 years even after having 2 daughters and now am very mindful about how I portray myself in their company. I’ll never say I’m not happy with my body in front of them.
Earlier this year I gained a bit of weight and luckily for me I discovered you Cassey, you were the catalyst I needed to get me back on track. I feel fantastic again. And whats more my little girls do your videos with me, (except for burpees when they say lets watch mummy!). Its such a great feeling.
Cassey, you are absolutely gorgeous, and if anyone calls you fat they haven’t got eyes!!
I remember being a Junior in high school and my boyfriend and I were having a conversation which led to some stinging words forever etched in my memory. He was talking to some other guy (you know how competitive guys can be at times), and the other guy said, “Well, at least my girlfriend isn’t as heavy as yours!” Now why the heck did he tell me that?!?! So I asked him, “What did you say to him?” And he said, “Nothing.” No wonder I broke up with him some months later. Mind you, I was 5’7″ and 135. Not exactly heavy, but it was a little heavy for me with my small frame size. Still, not exactly as big as he made me seem. I was hurt. I was mad. And I vowed that I would wow ’em all in 20 years when he was a “former” athlete that probably never stayed in shape. I did go on to dropping about 20 lbs. my Senior year and was sleek and svelte, but I have NEVER forgotten that comment.
Well, here I am 28 years later with four kids and a great figure and very fit. Instead of hurting words, after a while I used them as motivating words as in, “I’ll show ’em someday!” That someday is here, I don’t care where that ex-boyfriend is along with his friend, but I’m looking mighty fine. Yeah, I got my payback 🙂 .
I understand. When I was about 8, I had to do a fashion show at my church to raise money for a charity of some description. I don’t remember much about why we were doing it, only that I was excited to wear pretty clothes. Just before I was about to go onto the ‘catwalk’ with this other girl, she turned to me, poked me in the stomach and said, “Your stomach is sticking out.” I was humiliated. I stood as straight as I could and sucked it in as far as I could, but it was no use. I was a slim enough kid, I just had a frog belly. That has really stuck with me. That was 13 years ago, and my stomach is still the part of me that I loathe the most.
I can’t tell you how many crunches and other ab exercises I have done in the attempt to flatten it out. On the up side, I have abs of steel. On the down side, they are still firmly encased in a layer of flabbiness. I’m still not a big girl, and other than that I’m really quite happy with how I am. Still, some days I feel I would trade an arm to have a flat stomach. Or to go back in time and punch that girl in the nose before she said anything to me.
Ah well. I guess if it weren’t for her, I wouldn’t have exercised quite like the maniac I have, and I don’t think I’d be as strong as I am now. There’s a silver lining to every cloud.
It seems every single person commenting on this topic, instead of hearing the truth, would rather have their friends sugarcoat it for them. Well, ignoring the problem does not solve it. I mean, if you are normal or around normal, why do you care about being called fat? But if it is true, instead of taking offense, take some action.
“You are still amazing, regardless of what you look like”… with an attitude like that, no wonder so many Americans are obese. Amazing is a person who takes care of themselves despite obstacles, like paralympic athletes. But a couch potato who stuffs himself / herself in front of the TV instead of exercising, for no other excuse than laziness, is NOT amazing, no matter how much they would like to think so.
This is incredibly offensive. This is not a topic on obesity, it’s a topic on when someone weighs more or appears chubby than everyone else. You ARE still amazing regardless of what you look like. Your body does not define you. Athletic achievements do not make a person. There is so much more to a human being than physical success.
I find it absurd and disgusting that you completely missed the point of this article- another person’s body is NOT your business, or yours to comment on. If someone is physically unwell, their doctor will tell them. It’s just goddamn rude to comment on someone’s physique.
Cassey, I just want to say that I stumbled across your videos a couple weeks ago and one of the reasons why I love them so much, is because you have a body type that is exactly what healthy looks like. You don’t have crazy bulging muscles or boobs, you have the kind of body that anyone can attain and I dig that.
I’ve never been called fat, but I’ve encountered a lot of discrimination for being thin. I’m 30 years old, 5″2 and recently gained 5lbs, making me 105lbs. People have openly assumed that I have an eating disorder (which is a huge insult to anyone who actually struggles with the disease), when I happen to not want to have a huge lunch, I get ‘looks’. Just because I am naturally thin, doesn’t mean comments about my body don’t hurt. I would never go up to someone who was very overweight and remark on how many rolls they have on their arms, but nobody bats an eye when someone remarks they can see my shoulder blades through my shirt. It’s the same thing, on both sides of the scale. I am tired of being looked at as weak and feeling unsubstantial – I personally think women should be soft and curvy and not bony like myself, but I can’t help it, I can only get stronger. Even if it’s just to deck the next person that makes a snide comment 🙂
So glad you posted this. I went through the same thing as a kid. Looking back, I think I used food as comfort after my parents divorced (in an unstable situation like that, food seems like a constant; I guess that’s why we turn to it for emotional eating sometimes). I remember a young cousin telling me I had a fat belly, and a guy at school telling me to “move, fat girl”. You’re right- it hurts, and it sticks with you. I’ve been body conscious almost my entire life, and I didn’t get that natural slim down as I got older. Luckily, I realized the damage I was doing to myself and started to slooowly make things better. I weigh 100 lbs less than I did in the 9th grade (I’m 20 now, and went from 235 to 135! :)) Anyways, not trying to go on & on here, just wanted to say thanks for posting and being so positive and encouraging. I want you to know that YOU and your awesome attitude are what gave me the final push to really get down to business and get in shape! I love that you’re focused on being healthy and fit- not necessarily “skinny”. I’m just a beginner with pilates but I l-o-v-e it SO much and I want to be a bigger part of this awesome community you guys have! I know it might sound a little cheesy, but I feel like you’ve had a big impact on my life, and I can’t thank you enough for that! 🙂
I want to start by saying that I hate the word “fat.” It literally makes me cringe. I have never and will never describe anyone (or myself) as such. There will always be a more positive adjective.
When I was in high school, I was in the best shape of my life. I was in marching band all four years, and I was lifting weights in a girl’s conditioning class my Sophomore-Senior years. I’m 5’7″ and was 150lbs of muscle.
After I graduated and went to college, I never thought about my physical activity coming to a dead stop. My eating habits stayed the same while I fell into a sedentary lifestyle. I gradually began to put on weight. By the end of my first semester I had put on 25lbs. It wasn’t until my mom commented on how ill-fitting my clothes had become, that I really saw what had happened to my body. So I put my mind to it and was able to lose 15lbs after Christmas.
Despite my hard work, my step-mother constantly pointed out my flaws. She is no longer a part of my life, and I now realize that the only way she was ever able to feel better about herself was to make other people feel bad. For several years I struggled with my weight and depression.
But now I’m planning my wedding to the most amazing man in the world. He makes me feel beautiful and loved for the first time in years. I’ve resolved to lose what weight I can before our wedding and get back into shape. I’ve learned how to dress the body I have, not the body I want, and that alone makes me feel fantastic. I’m turning my life around and will never let other people make me feel badly about myself again.
Whether we’re tall or short, thick or thin, we are all beautiful. Anyone who can’t see that has no concept of true beauty. Love yourself and others will follow.
Hi.
This is the first time I read your blog. This post is the truth and sad.
I completely understand you. I’ve been called fat all my life. Even though I was never that fat. My brothers always called me fat since I was a child because I was the biggest one. That little thing became an big issue to me. Now, 25 years later, I still see myself fat every time I see me in the mirror. I also put videos on Internet and I’m always concern about those comments of being fat.
I lose weight, but I still see me fat. Never had a eating disorder. But it doesn’t matter how old you are or who tells you that….it always hurts and you always have that insecurity.
It’s sad that many times those “bad habits” starts in your own family.
thanks for the post. It’s good to know I’m not the only one
B.
I’m actually sitting here sobbing.
It’s been a hard week. I’ve lost 30 pounds over the past three months and I’m absolutely horrified of gaining weight. I’ve been binge eating the past couple of days and I’m just not feeling too good about myself. I’ve always been the fat girl. Always. Even now that I’m 102 pounds (probably more, I’m avoiding the scale), I’ll always have a larger frame. I’ll never be a waif, I’ll never have a thigh gap, I don’t appear to be the weight that I am. A girl this morning told me that I was fat and it really hurt. I came home and ate a good 1000 calories. I don’t know what to do with myself anymore. I don’t know how much weight I have to lose until it’ll be enough, or when I’ll stop being afraid of gaining weight.
Take care Sarah. You’re doing great! Do you know how much dedication it takes to lose 30 pounds?? Your size cannot show your strength, your size is not your dedication. You are SARAH and SARAH has the will power to keep going =) *hugs*
Wow, thanks for being so candid, and I didn’t know even you have a fear of people calling you fat on Youtube. People can definitely be harsh since were pretty much anonymous online but there’s soo much more positive into doing this more than negative. You already kno that since you’ve been doing it 3 going on 4 years. For me I was a bit disappointed at my “Youtube friend” because he would give me very rude comments directly on my videos, and he would be the only one commenting so it looks pretty bad on my channel since he’s the only one commenting. Seeing negative comments really suck and I kind of took it personally, but I realized people only do that because of their own egos and insecurities. it’s like i just want to say “AUGH, you suck! why are you so rude to me, i didn’t do anything” feeling, but I realize I would be the stronger person to just take it and be resilient from it. Yeah! those are my thoughts, but thanks again for your candid posts. you’re so real!
ps. i will also take out fat out of my vocab. thats a great new years res! thank yoU!
I can’t remember a time in my life where I wasn’t called fat- that is until recently, of course. Growing up, boys made cracks about my weight all the time. As I entered my teen years, I was even the butt of jokes in family gatherings. Being called fat doesn’t only hurt your feelings- at one point, you get so sick and tired of the taunting, that you become immune to it- and that’s HORRIBLE, because you end up not CARING that you’re fat! Being called fat destroys your self-worth. You end up believing every cruel word that people throw your way.
I would never call a person fat, not even jokingly because I know how much it hurts. I do always encourage the people I love to be healthy and fit, but I learned to do it in a way that could minimize hurting their feelings as much as possible. I know what it’s like to hate myself because someone decided that they’d feel better about themselves by making me feel worse.
I’ve learned that the secret to weight loss is being in love with your self, your body. Everyone is beautiful, everyone. 🙂
I was a chubby kid growing up. I didn’t realize it until second grade, when someone commented on it. Then the self-consciousness set in. I wasn’t unhealthy, I was very active. I was just chubby. And since I was one of the overall biggest kids in grade school (second tallest, if you can believe it, but I only made it to 5’4″) I certainly made the other kids look tiny. I’ll never forget being called “Becky the cow” and being told “jeez, your legs are huge” just because I wasn’t a twig. Kids are honest, kids are mean. But they’ll always find something to pick on. When I was in junior high I developed Crohn’s Disease, and had lost over 50 lbs before they figured out what was wrong with me. After that my weight would yo-yo depending on when I was in a flare, and when I was on medication. So then I got all kinds of comments. I was still self conscious, but I also knew that I was sick and had better things to worry about. I learned to laugh at the stupid things people would say. Cari would report to me with the latest rumors and we’d have a good time laughing at how stupid people can be (one person said that I’d lost 150 lbs – when I hadn’t even weighed that much to begin with, another said that I’d gone into cardiac arrest and had to be “manually resuscitated”…twice). But I never forgot. I doubt I ever will.
Thank you, Cassey, for this post 🙂
its sad, but my mom calls me fat for quite some time now. even though ive lost about 10 kg, she would not see that and keeps telling me that im fat like an elephant. she never encourages me and admits that ive lost weight. NEVER..but i learned to live with it since discussions would only lead to tears. the saddest part is that im not even that “fat”. i have normal weight for european standards (M)but she compares me to the skinny average figure of asian girls. no one else around me would even think of calling me fat…
Wonderful, honest post. Love ya, Cassey. *hugs*
I’ve had a lot of experience getting called fat in my lifetime. From the time I was extremely young, I’ve been bullied. The fat comments didn’t come until 5th grade (that I can remember, but I have blocked a lot of my memories out). In 4th grade I moved into a new neighborhood (not far from my old one, not even far enough to change schools). I don’t remember if there were any conflicts on the bus or in this new neighborhood during the end of 4th grade, but I remember in 5th grade, I was now in the same class as one of the boys in this new neighborhood. His name was Val, and he hated me. Every day of 5th grade, he and his friends called me fat, they changed my name from Katlyn, to Fatlyn, they even made up a rhyme to go with my name: “Katlyn, Fatlyn, 2 by 4, can’t get through her kitchen door.” It killed me, I would cry almost every day of 5th grade. I have never been overweight, but I’m big boned and I have a bit of excess flub on me, I didn’t really care until I started getting bullied like that. No one even stopped it either, I told my parents, they said to ignore it, I told my 5th grade teacher, she told me “Maybe God made you fat” and did nothing else to stop the daily torture. I couldn’t escape. Even in middle school, he continued to harass me with these names until I convinced my mom to let me get out of that school.
To the best of my recollection, I have not been bullied about my weight like that since then, but I could just be blocking it out. It hurts me every day to think about those things that were said to me, and the many many other things that others have said. I’ve been bullied so many times, through the computer, in person, I’ve received death threats, so many girls and boys who just wanted me to hate myself. It worked, for a long time. I’m only 16 years old but I’ve experienced more hatred and harassment than most people in their entire lives. I’ll never understand why though. I’ve struggled with self-hatred for a long time, haven’t been the smartest in my decisions on how to lose weight, but I’m trying to do it right this time. I’m healthy, like I always have been, but now I’m going to become healthy, and thin. Even with the way I am now, I’m happy, I’ve learned how to ignore (and block) the people who are trying to hurt me. For the rest of my life, I want to help others who went through things similar to me so they can always make smart decisions and not have to completely go through what I went through. :]
Oh Katlyn, I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that (((hugs)))…I’m glad you’re feeling better about yourself…I had a group of “friends” turn on me in the middle school, and they tried to hurt me every day by saying mean things about me, but I just kept working out harder and tried to do positive things that made me happy, and God put some really good friends into my life who’ve helped me a lot, so I just want to encourage you too, Girl!! Try not to let other people get you down b/c in the end what they think doesn’t matter at all!!
This really touched me. I remember in 2008 I moved back to live overseas after i had lived in the US for about 11 years. when i got to the family gathering, the first things one of my aunts told me was “why have you gotten so fat?” i remember freezing up and not responding, but i cried so much that night. about a week later, i saw my cousin, and shes skinny. like twig skinny, and i remember her dad telling me “why cant you be thin like your cousin?” i never did anything about my weight till i moved back to america in june 2010. at the beginning of 2011, i officially started dieting and eating healthier. and you know? when i did it, i never once thought of their ugly comments. i never once thought of how they’d talk about me losing weight. i just did it, and i felt soooo much better about myself. and i’ve lost weight and leaned out, and now i feel so much better about myself. i admit sometimes i do get discouraged when i dont get the results i want and i binge,but then i ask myself: do you really wanna do this? you worked so hard. you put all that effort. do you really wanna go back? and the answer is always no. i’m happy now,i’m healthier, and i’m more confident. i sent pictures of myself to my family overseas and they didn’t believe that this was me. like literally, they did not believe their eyes :p. and that felt so good! it felt good to show people that i CAN do what they think i can’t. just because your overweight, doesnt mean you’ll always be like that. the change is in YOUR hands. go for it.
and my twig thin cousin? the one whos body i dreamed of having? well, after seeing my pictures, she said she’d love to look like me 😉
I have never been called fat to my face I do remember being in middle school and, being the perfectionist that I already was, found myself comparing my body to my much leaner friends. It seemed unfair to me that I had to worry about it at such a young age. I remember looking at pictures from that time and literally being disgusted at what I saw, but I just did not know what to do about it.
During my high school years, I developed anorexia and exercise bulemia. I swam year-round, and I became addicted to perfectionism. In looks, in achievements, in sports. I ended up going to therapy for over 2 years, but I still struggle with eating habits to this day. I am almost 21 years old. I am still obsessed with fitness and being thin. It’s something I hate about myself (my nit-picking). If anyone is calling me fat, it is myself.
I am currently studying to be a psychologist so that I can help others avoid the pain that I have been through in my life. I think it is more hurtful to be critical of yourself than having others be critical of you. While it definitely hurts, loving yourself is the first step of self-improvement. It is impossible to be truly successful in life if you cannot love yourself for what you are.
Thank you so much for sharing. I think it is so important for people to talk about these sorts of things because it is the first step in reinventing the wheel when it comes to self-criticism and fitness. People should be concentrated on being fit, not on what others think of them. Talking about it is the first step in making this possible!
I have never been called fat but after I had my twins I worked my butt off to get back into my prebaby weight, then one day someone asked me if I was pregnant again! Then it happened again.. and again.. this really started to just sit on my head.. all my hard work wasn’t paying off.. Posture check? I don’t know? but it still bugs me if I get asked that.
Cassey, wonderful post. Thank you for sharing.
I want to address the “you know that every time I put up a new video, I have this fear that one of the commenters will say “looks like you got fatter”?” for a bit. THIS WILL HAPPEN, Cassey, and not because you but because YouTube, as wonderful as it can be, it’s also flooded with trolls (who nerdfighters like to call “giant squids of anger” xD). If it’s not about this, it’ll be about something else.
Those comments are clearly not coming from a good place. They want a reaction. Remember to take them for what they are: garbage. I know it’s easier said than done, especially when you have gone through it before, but you have shown incredible focus and determination before, and I fully believe we can productively manage our emotions. It takes the same kind of focus and determination. You already have the tools. I’m quite stubborn and, do to things that have happen in my life, I consider myself mentally and emotionally strong. I take pride on that. I think it defines me. I’m not invulnerable, but I’m resilient. And that’s the key. Good luck to whoever thinks they can take that away from us.
Amen to that! Joan, you are so down to earth and I like you a lot:) And hahah trolls:)
I love that you shared your story, thank you! My “fat” story is a bit more recent. My struggle with my weight and body image began after I had my first baby. You would think that after having a baby people would be a little more forgiving with their judgement, but they weren’t. What’s worst is that the comments came from my own family. I was so furious, hurt and really just confused. Why were they so harsh? I JUST HAD A BABY! The comments about my size didn’t get much nicer as time went by and I didn’t seem to be losing the weight. After I had my second baby about 2 years later, the fat comments just kept coming. Although so many negative things have been said, I’m not letting it get to me. I’m just using it as fuel to just keep going. People just have “diarehha of the mouth” and you just have to ignore it. When I look in the mirror, see my “fat” and feel like it’s hopeless and that I should just give up….I just think back to when my mom called me fat and I use that to get re-motivated.
People just need to accept you for who you are. And yes, I refuse to use the word “FAT”….it’s not a word to be used to describe a person.
Wow! Thank you for that..it really means a lot and is really encouraging to know that even you that has an amazing figure feels insecure about herself.
Growing up I was always on the chubbier side and I can definitely relate to your fear of being called fat or told you have gained weight.
The important thing is that you are such a good example how you can take control of your life and your body. You stay active and have fun with it too and you show us how to as well.
I love your videos. Their challenging and always a lot of fun. Please keep up the good work.
All my life i’ve been called fat. People said my hips were to big, I had a big fat belly and a giant fat ass. I alway tried to wear big clothes so that my fat ass would look smaller. Actually, before people starting saying I was fat, I used to like my body. I felt curvy and beautiful, but as it turns out people didn’t thought the same about me. When I turned 10 my crush starting calling me fat. Every single day. My causins always said: are you going to eat that… you knw how many calories that has …etc.
That summer I decided I was tired of being called fat and I started exercising countless ours a day and reduced my calorie intake to nearly 500 calories a day. I lost 10 kg (aprox 20 lbs) in a month. I still though I was fat, though my friend started calling me anorexic.
I struggled with eating disorders for a couple more months until my doctor told me that if I lost one more kg I would have to be send to a hospital. Those kinds of hospitals where anorexic people are treated. I’ve seen those in tv and they dont look nice.
I had to go to the therapist a nothing helped. I thought my crush was going to like me once I was skinny, but he didn’t like me.
My friends even made songs about how skinny I was getting. However, I still though I was fat.
Its been 3 years since that and my period hasnt come back. (I used to have it when I was 10). I hav gained 9 kg. But know when I look in the mirror I see a toned body, not a fat one.
Hey Cassey –
Thank you SO much for this post. I’ve already gone into a lot of detail on my own blog about being overweight, so I won’t get into that again here, but I did want to say thank you for admitting your fears regarding others judging you.
I’m a personal trainer and Zumba instructor, and so I can really relate to you on that. Admittedly, I’m also a type-A perfectionist who holds myself to impossibly high standards, but I think that being in a profession where we are supposed to exemplify the way that those we train and teach want to look (and knowing that they are going to be looking at our bodies for inspiration) it makes it that much harder.
I, too, have put on a few pounds recently – I’m still juggling a full-time 9-5 (which I have to stick with for awhile unfortunately), along with training clients from 5-8 am every day, and then teaching class a few nights a week, so getting my own workouts have suffered as a result from the stress, exhaustion and busyness. I’m sure I’ll get it under control eventually, but I’m just feeling rather stressed and “blah” at the moment. But as a result I worry constantly that a client or someone in my class is going to notice a “roll” or something or think “What the hell is she doing training me? She could stand to lose a few.” Luckily this has only happened in my head, I would probably die if someone actually said that to me.
So thank you for admitting that you feel that way, too. It’s such a relief to hear from you specifically, because honestly, every time I see a video of you, I think to myself, “God, I just wish I were that lean. She’s so committed.” So there you go – I think most people probably do that, thinking that everyone else looks better than them.
Thanks for talking about this. It’s something that those of us in the fitness community especially need to talk about sometimes. We’re only human.
Happy Holidays!
Ive been called fat before and it wasn’t just once. By the age of 10 I had already been told that i needed to take care of myself because i wasn’t eating right nor was i fit. I always had low-self esteem because of my physical appearance and to be honest even today i still struggle with it. I am currently 17 now; It wasn’t till a few months ago this year that i decided to make a serious change with myself. I’ve lost a lot of weight since i started making these small healthy decisions. I also started to exercise daily.
Not long ago I was with a friend and he called me fat. I’m not a huge person; I’m pretty average but I felt completely shattered on the inside because i thought “This can’t be happening, I’ve been working my butt off and eating right just to be called fat…again?” I don’t know but he might of been kidding but that just wasn’t a joke to me. It made me feel as if I’m not doing good enough even though many people already have complemented me on how great I look. That day, I couldn’t keep my mind of that “FAT” comment he made about me. I felt horrible but then I thought i shouldn’t let that bother me because I’ve been working so hard and I’ve put the best that i can and I’m not gonna stop just because of a stupid comment someone made about me.
When i read these comments, I have learned that I’m not the only one who’s been hurt and trying hard everyday to reach those big goals that I have. Everyday you gotta fight to get there. There are many girls/women out there that are doing the same and remember you are not alone. My hard efforts, all the wonderful people out there trying hard, and the awesome compliments i get is what makes me feel stronger once again. It makes me wanna keep on working harder than ever before.
Dear Cassey,
I was so moved by your story; I almost started crying myself. I have been doing your creative and very challenging workouts for a couple of months now, and I have always admired your strength, your flexibility, and your super-positive attitude and encouragement. And even though I can’t always keep up with you, you inspire to me go further and to try harder next time. Thank you for sharing your story, and for motivating so many other women and men to become healthier and happier. You are using your gifts well.
I became obese when I was a teenager because of my hyperprolactinemia. Kids would tell me I looked like my siblings mom (and they’re older than me) and ask me if I were pregnant. Then once I got my condition under control, the weight went away.
Now my weight is back, along with my high prolactin, but still I can’t separate the medical condition from my own faults as far as activity and nutrition is concerned.
Like you, I’m very hard on myself. I even tried starving myself, and burning more calories than I consumed, etc. Didn’t lose a pound. So now I’m just focusing on being healthy, as I know weight loss is not a good indicator (for me) of progress.
Even if you were fat, that doesn’t make you a bad person. Just like being thin doesn’t make you a better person.
What’s wrong with being fat?
I don’t think it’s a matter of goodness or badness (whew! no red line under “badness”). But I do wonder what the stigma is.
If you are happy with the way you are (no matter what size or shape), then it’s not a problem. But (and I think this is where Cassey and a lot of the other commenters are coming from), if someone makes an observation about your body size or shape and they say it in a mean, rude, or judgmental way, then it hurts. Or if you work hard so that you don’t look fat (as in Cassey’s case), or like “a starved child” (as one of my friends so kindly called me), then it hurts and it sticks with you.
I’ve had both experiences. I gained weight in grade school after a leg injury that had me in casts and crutches for months. My sister called me fat ONE TIME, my mother was quick to shush her, but it stuck. Then a friend told me that my shirt “would look better on me if I lost 10 pounds”. Ouch. It served as a wake-up call, and I finally got to the weight that I wanted to be at by working out. Several years later, I was diagnosed with a serious GI illness… and I was automatically accused of having an eating disorder, and of looking like “a starving child from Africa” by a former friend of mine because I was vomiting all of the time and couldn’t keep food down and I lost some weight.
Nobody said I was a bad person in either of these cases. But the way they said it made me feel like I had to defend myself, like I did something wrong even though I was trying my best to be happy in as healthy of a way as possible. And that’s what’s wrong.
When I’m looking on you, I can’t imagin that you was fat.
I’m 29, and since I remeber I was a little bigger like other girls. I don’t think that I was fat, actually, I think, I was (I’m) normal, but other thought that me was a little bit to much:).
The culture of “be thin” have subversive influence on our minds. If you don’t have clothe in size 6 or 8 (UK sizes), then you’re fat. That’s ridiculous, but that’s true. And that’s a very big problem.
I understand, that my body needs healthy food and some exercises to feel good. And thats the point – feeling good. Not starving, or jogging without breath, but doing things for body to feel good and be happy.
Thank you for talking about such problems. That’s necessary. And thank you for being so good personal-virtual trainer 🙂
Regards,
Zane
Thanks for sharing this story, Cassey! The word “fat” has become so much stronger than a simple word and carries so much hurt.
I don’t think I’ve ever been called ‘fat,’ but I do recall a time in the 8th grade when an obnoxious boy told me I had a ‘ghetto booty’ – at 5’4 I weighed about 90 pounds soaking wet so I’m not sure what he was talking about, but it still stung and has made me forever paranoid about my bootay – writing that down makes me realize how very ridiculous I am being!
Being called too skinny, stick or skeleton hurts just as much.
True, this has been my experience rather than the other.
C, I totally understand you. I had the same problem. Until age 11 I was a gymnastic athlete. I always did sports but when puberty came, I started to have hips and thighs and boobs and since I was so skinny all my childhood, I was happy I had curves until one day I went to the beach and my friends and cousins made fun of me because I wasn’t skinny any more. The worst was that my mom was in an amazing shape at that time (my family LOVES sports) and someone told me that I could only wish to be like my mother. My mom told me they were jerks and that I was beautiful the way I was but I became obsessed! No eating disorders because I love to eat but until my 20’s I didn’t like my body. Your videos changed my body and the way I see it.
Thank you very much
I really think this is only a problem in America (using the word “fat” I mean)
To me, being described as “fat ” is like being described as “skinny” or “toned” or “not toned.” I have been told by strangers that I should lose weight (OK, so it was always by other Chinese people, even in America, and usually after a dance performance or something) and it does make me self-conscious but I don’t think “fat” is a bad word or should be “banned” or anything. Should “skinny” or “thin” or “twiggy” or “skinny fat” be banned? They’re just descriptions. I have too much fat on my stomach and inner thighs. I lack muscle definition (and muscle in general) and have a terribly hard time doing any POP Pilates videos because of it.
I do feel bad about how bad my body looks, but not all the time. I have photos of myself on my blog, and most people would not describe me as “fat” but also not as “skinny”. I just am plain old out of shape 😛 Being called fat isn’t always a bad thing. I don’t think it should be made out to be some huge faux pas. It depends on the tone and intention of the person calling you fat.
Sorry for such a long comment!
Cassie, don’t botter that stupid girl!
You’re amazing and such a great rolemodel for me!
Years ago when I was on the primary school, some classmates also called me fat. It really really hurts and it keeps following me trough the rest of my life.
Just remember that you’re a great person!
Thanks for posting this sensitive post (:
xoxo
It does hurt. It’s horrible. Throughout middle school there were two boys who would comment on my size. They were the absolute bane of my existence. I had friends, I was involved in school activities, and i was getting good grades, but every time one of these boys would comment on my weight, it would chip away at my confidence and self-esteem. In addition, I was getting it from my mom at; she would call me a cow. Even my great aunt called home after seeing a photo of me to tell me that I was getting too heavy. Now, I should not have been putting on that weight, but I was never obese, just heavier than what anyone wanted me to be. I could still shop in the popular stores, but I had to get the biggest sizes. All of this has stuck with me, it followed me through high school and college. I am 25 now and I hate what I see. I lost 35 lbs (still going) and I still dislike looking in the mirror. At 5’5 and 139, I feel like I will never be happy with my body because my attitude is so entwined with the comments and the hurt that I experienced when I was younger. In the positive, POP pilates has been a driving force in my weight loss and I feel healthy. It’s never okay to call someone fat and one day I hope that I can let go of the complex, but for now I just push it to the back of my head.
Cassey, that was a great post!!
I was called fat a lot of times, one time even my sister said i was chubby just because i didn’t have the muscles that she had.
It hurt every single time, even though my parents kept telling me I wasn’t fat. And you know what? I wasn’t. I was a little chubby, yes but I was definitely not fat and still: it hurt and since then I feel fat, no matter how much I weigh. But those comments really took me into a circle where I sometimes ate nothing and then ate a ton of chocolate, it got me frustrated and sad, even though i knew that really it didn’t matter what other people think.
I am still working on truly feeling beautiful again, because my head is finally starting to understand what beautiful actually means and that other people’s opinion doesn’t matter at all!
To answer your actual question: yes, yes it does hurt to be called fat! so much! But everyone just needs to find a way to accept that sometimes people are jealous of your pretty face or don’t like the way you look because you look different from their ideal picture and are mean to you because of that. It’s hard but it’s possible.
The only important thing is that you are happy with yourself!
Thank you again for bringing up such a ‘touchy’ topic. You are awsome!
It does hurt. And you don’t forget it. I was very similar when I was younger – I wasn’t slender, and didn’t slim down until just before High School. I clearly remember every instance of the kids at the babysitter I went to call me ‘MooCow’ and other horrible names. Kids can be mean to other kids, even, and it’s hard to forget it (being so young and ‘impressionable’). I lost a lot of weight just before High School, but still worried I was too big – thankfully, I had some friends in high school that didn’t judge me that way, so I ended up being more comfortable with myself. More than I ever had been.
I ended up gaining back the weight in college, though. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I didn’t have my father and brother making little comments every time they saw me about how I was ‘getting a bit thick’ and worse names. Way to motivate your only daughter/sister there, guys! It wasn’t in jest or ‘concern’, it was just flat out malicious. There is a difference between being concerned for someone’s health (we have a lot of health issues in our family concerning weight) and just attacking.
I didn’t start working out until I had a good reason to. I didn’t want to work out just to make them stop their words (bullies will always find SOMETHING to pick on), I wanted it to be on my own terms. So, when I finally got comfortable and had massive improvements (loosing 20lbs the healthy way isn’t anything to sneeze at!), a friend I haven’t seen in years comes back and starts poking my stomach. “Wow, you really did gain weight! You weren’t lying!” … That was in the beginning of this year (after a dear family member’s passing, so I was quite vulnerable).
WOW, I’m rambling. But the point is, it keeps cropping up over time and it doesn’t make it hurt any less each time. The only thing we can really do is to keep moving on after the pain. It doesn’t have to affect your self-esteem or your exercise routines, but it honestly does (emotions – so illogical! 😉 ). The best thing one can really do is remember why they started on a healthier path and keep reminding themselves it’s a personal reason, forgot the haters, and pick it back up after the ‘break’ … for ice cream (not the whole thing, just a bowl, but still).
Oh Cassey, I’m so very sorry to hear that. All I can do is to agree with you. Nobody should be called “fat”, and most of all, what is that supposed to mean?! That we’re less valuable if we’re not thin? Why is body image so important in this stupid world, a world that has far greater problems to tackle than how a handful of people look?? Millions out there are hungry, facing starvation every f***ing day. Isn’t THAT something we should tackle, instead of insulting each other over something that stupid?
I was never that aware of how my body looked. How I felt was more important. So when a distant relative at a family holiday greated me with “You’ve put on weight” one Christmas, I was triggered to say “You didn’t, you’ve had it on you for ages.”. Bridget Jones, anyone? I demand my Mark Darcy.
I wish that this was a world where looks weren’t something that counted so much, got talked about so much, and therefore wasn’t that important. I’m getting called too skinny by some people, too fat by others. What am I supposed to do in that situation? Exactly. We can never make it right. Today’s beauty ideals do not come from real people, they are made by photoshop, and I can’t even say that I think them to be beautiful. The people I think to be beautiful would never stand a fashion shoot according to the industry’s standards. INDUSTRY STANDARDS. Like a piece of metal, bent and stretched into shape. We’re human beings, not things. Not even animals are supposed to be treated the way we treat each other. A beautiful person shines, and they do so because their hearts are beautiful, regardless of what their bodies look like. It radiates from inside out, and you can feel it immediately when you meet them or talk to them. THAT is the beauty I’m addicted to. Dedicated, lovely, strong, or simply nice people. People with an opinion, with a character, if you like them or not. People who think about others. People who think about making the world a better place, or simply do so, even if it’s just in little actions.
I started workouts because my ADHD-like seizures got better that way, and I needed something to balance-out the stress university put on me, which worked to some extent. I do workouts because I like the way I feel during and after and a long way after a workout. I do workouts because it’s something I can talk about with others online, and because your workouts, Cassie, are among the few that are real fun.
I’ll do a **** and spoil this little thing that is still some fun, some stability for me in the exhaustion that life means for me at the moment, with stressing about how I look.
Here’s a rather astonishing story that happened to me this summer.
It had been a lo~ng, hard day, I was on the verge of graduating, facing exams, and had been at a conference from early morning on, not to mention presentations coming up, meetings, business. I had jogged through town just to make it to another appointment, I was sweaty, tired, and after that day I won’t say what my hair and make-up looked like, haha. After that last appointment was done, I was just relieved, despite a major headache, that I could finally swaddle home.
There were three guys sitting between the fountains of the main shopping boulevard, and all of a sudden they started smiling and flirting with me. Me, in my old trainers and baggy jeans, sweaty shirt and big bag, fussy hair, earplugs in. Relaxed that I was, I grinned and said hello, and I felt their smiles in my back as I went home. People in that area usually aren’t that open, and the guys were probably tourists. There were tons of more beautiful, more thin, waaay better styled girls there, in that crowd, but they picked me, the business jogger, haha.
Thinking back to that is like a clap on the back, and a reminder that it’s just not about stupid beauty ideals. It’s about the way we feel, and not to take ourselves, especially our looks, as something that important. Those guys probably flirted with a dozen other girls that day, too, and for a change that doesn’t feel like the typical meat market to me, but as a nice way to say “you’re great just the way you are”.
That’s all that counts, right? To be happy, just the way we are.
Wow, sorry for the babbles. ^^;
P.S.: I developed a hate for the word “fat” pretty early on, and stopped using it almost completely, even about one of my guinea pigs (who, as I have to say in her defense, is probably also heavier because she has more muscles – she likes training ^.~). It’s not a particularly useful word. I prefer to learn more useful words from this site:
https://twitter.com/#!/dailyvocab
<3
Yes, I’ve been called fat… And I felt so bad, really embarrassed and worthless. It was my little baby cousin that said it. He was 4 years old. I was 14, so not so long ago. I had a cute dress on, and a hoodie over it, because it was cold out. I remember him just looking up and just saying: “You are fat”. OMG. I thought, and then he said it once more later on. But I weren’t mad at him, he was four, but so honest. I thought.
Since, I have slimmed down and I started to research about fitness, working out and being happy in life 🙂
It was terrible! And I’ve always been chubby…
I love that you share your stories Cassey, be strong!
Love u <3
Kajsa you are amazing and so smart young woman! I am so proud and I wish more young people would start living healthy life. You are the star**and I love you, remember that<3
When I was eleven me and my best friend was walking down the aisle of the school going to class. I was normal height and tiny. She turned to me and said “You´re not the skinniest in the class anymore. X is. She is number 1 one-watch out”.
That is where my ED started. At eleven years old. Now I am soon turning 26 and I am not doing anything to my self anymore (binging, starvin etc…) But to think that one comment like that destroyed almost 15 years of my life hurts so much. Now I am healty at 118 to my 5´5 and very strong and well-trained, and through my husband who is a chef I now enjoy food.
But the way some people are so uncotuius about cometing on your body sometimes make afriad of that “you look thinner” or “you put on?”. People have to start to keep their business to themself at times, but if they see you are struggeling try to help.
I know from having an ED is like being a recovering alcoholic and I have to live with it every day and fight if off.
Now- if I get a comment like that I get down but then I look at my wedding pictures-the day of my life where I felt like the mots beautiful girl in the world, and remember that I felt beautiful that day not only because of my body but because my beauty that day came from the inside and from pure happiness.
I hate it when someone tells me I’m fat. I am not fat, nor am I skinny. I have wide hips and broad shoulders and I’m only 5 feet so any weight gain is obvious. I come from a Japanese family and I am part of the only American-raised child, so my body looks different because I was raised on different food from my relatives.
Everytime I go and visit my relatives my grandparents, cousins and aunts constantly make comments on how fat I am. I’ve been getting this treatment from them since I was a child so my own self image is not awesome. In the last few years, I started jogging and doing pilates and building up my self confidence on my own. It sucks though, because it is shattered so easily, everytime I hear the “You’re SO FAT” comment.
I don’t think it is something I will ever get over- the pain of being called fat when I know I’m not really hurts. I’ve aimed toward being more healthy and incorporating exercise into my daily routine. I also try not to eat my feelings.
Thank you for sharing your story – you are truly an inspiration and I hope one day that I can be as confident and positive as you.
I’ve never actually been called fat to my knowledge. Although this past spring when I came home from living out of state a couple days after I got home my mother blurted out ‘Oh my god when did you put on so much weight?!’ She then proceeded to tell me that she had to bite her tongue when she hugged when I first arrived because she said it did not feel like she was hugging me. I have to say on the one hand it did sting but the only sting it held was the sting of truth I had put on weight that I was unhappy with I just hoped no one else had really noticed as well as telling myself it was really not that bad. However after my mom said that I began to seriously and literally work my ass off. I ended up taking off all the weight and more and got to the size I was when I first moved out of state. People might think what my mom said sounded mean but I could not be more thankful to her. We have always had a very honest relationship and when she was so brutally honest with me it forced me to be brutally honest with myself and get to a point where I am actually comfortable with myself again.
I think when people have nothing to attack somebody, the fat talk begins. It’s the lowest point of a mental warfare as all of us always feel we need to lose a pound or two.
I recently moved to Vietnam and got myself in the fat talk but in a very different way. I could not find clothes and shoes that fit me and I’m a size 8 in U.S (for both clothes and shoes.) One of my cousins even commented that I wear big size and that got on my nerves. I almost wanted to tell her to take a good look at herself as she is not the prime example of a fit person, either.
I’ve learned to let go of all these attacks based on my weight. As long as I make a conscious decision to wake up and exercise everyday, it does not matter what people think of me. I have my own imperfections but at least I’m working on improving them.
Your first sentence is so true!!!
And I am genuinely impressed with your thoughts about this. Keep going, girl! 🙂
“I was 11 years old at the time and chubby. In my yearbook pictures, I had a double chin when I smiled. It was hard to find jeans that fit me. But none of it had even bothered me up until that point. I didn’t even know I was fat. I was active, happy, doing well in school, and had friends. That was all that mattered. But from that point on, I became self conscious. I lost confidence. Body image then became something I was constantly aware of.”
OMG It’s like i’m reading something i wrote myself! I didn’t know i was fat until i was told either. In fact it was people going out of their way to tell me that I WASN’T fat that made me realise I was fat. “Don’t listen to girls at school – there’s going to be some bitchy girls but you’re not fat, it’s just puppy fat, you will elongate”
Wait, what, I’M FAT?! Looking back, I was very fat and out of proportion but like you, I grew into it. Slash my mum started taking me to horse riding. Now I know it was her sly plan to make me less fat. She always used to tell me about how good exercise horse riding was 😉
I’ve been called such until now but I just shoo it away from my head cuz I know that even if I’m really fat (at the moment!) I know I’m doing my best to get fit & healthy. Plus I know that if a person is inside out fit, that person wouldn’t say fat cuz I believe that people who train/fit are people who know what real beauty is. Chances are that person who called you fat can’t even do 50 squats or even a wheel pose! Trust me, it’s 99% certain that that person ain’t healthy! Just sayin’ 🙂
& cassey, you look amazing. I’m serious 🙂
I’ve been called fat before, and like you I am lucky to have leaned out quite a bit. Of course, some (insane) people call me ‘fat’ occasionally because I am athletic and not ‘bony’ thin. But I think what helped me is that being ‘fat’ before made me focus on other things, so I am not that upset when someone says I am fat. Chances are, they’re just insecure around you.
So I think the word ‘fat’ shouldnt be banned, because it toughens you up. It really taught me to be a kinder and more developed person than I would have been if I had looked like I do now my whole life.
I know how you feel! I was called it all the way through school then developed bulimia as a result. There was other things going on in my life that also had an influence. But I’m the back of my mind i always told myself this is for anyone who ever called me fat. I will prove them wrong! I don’t purge anymore, healthy lifestyle has sort of taken over. If I eat too much I exercise more instead. However it still effects me to this day an that was 8 years ago! You will always have that voice in the back of your head. But ignore it cassey! You’re amazing! And your YouTube vids have really helped me!