It Wasn’t The Scale. It Was Me.
I feel like this is going to be a controversial topic.
Warning: This article contains talk of scales, numbers, and may be triggering for those currently struggling with body dysmorphia and other related body image disorders.
We need to talk about scales. For a really long time, I was so scared of this thing because it actually had the power to ruin my entire day. All I had to do was step on it, and if the number was higher than I wanted, I’d be curled up in fetal position crying. I wouldn’t want to do anything for the rest of the day because in my head, it was pointless. It got to a point where the scale was controlling my happiness. So I did what every body-loving article and influencer on the internet told me to do – THROW IT OUT.
So, was it the right thing to do?
I am not here to argue if scales or good or bad. They are neither good nor bad. It just depends on how you choose to look at it. And the truth is, the way I view the scale and my relationship with the scale has evolved over the years. It’s been both negative AND positive. And that’s something people never talk about because I feel like it’s either you either hate the scale…or you’re a guy.
So let’s go back to the beginning to understand how my relationship with the scale went from being non-existent to obsessive to terrified to empowering. My goal with this video is to teach you how to stop fearing the scale because you simply cannot let this piece of metal and glass control you. I am going to show you how I freed myself from the scale’s power, and put that power back in MY hands.
I believe that there are 4 stages of relationships that one can have with a scale.
#1. The nonexistent relationship where you literally don’t care what you weigh because your weight does not impact your life whatsoever.
#2. The abusive relationship where the number on the scale affects your happiness, controls your mood, and has power over your self-worth. For a lot of girls, a light number means you’re going to have a good day and a heavier number means you’re going to have a bad day.
#3. The break up where you realize how messed up the scale makes you feel so you throw it out and ban yourself from ever stepping it again! This is a healing phase to re-learn that your self worth is not related to your weight.
Most people in the body positive community will tell you that that is pure freedom. That THAT is winning. But there’s actually one more stage. The final stage is hard to reach, but it’s possible and it’s even more freeing and more empowering than stage #3. I’ll get to stage #4 in a little bit.
For now, I want to define each stage a little more…purely from my perspective as a female who has struggled with her weight and her body image.
1. The non-existent relationship
In my experience, this only really existed from zero to eight years old.
One of the first times I realized that weight was even a thing was when I was 8. I was at a family party at one of my auntie’s houses so excited to be eating amazing Vietnamese foods that only came out for special occasions like people’s birthdays or weddings. I had just taken my first sweet and savory bite of bánh ướt when one of the other kids walked up to my table and started staring at me. She pointed her finger at me and asked “Why are you so fat?”
When those words came out of her mouth, my body froze. The food in my mouth suddenly lost all its flavor. I remember my face getting hot and my eyes welling up. I didn’t know how to respond so I just ran to the bathroom. I locked the door, spit out my half-chewed food, and started crying and crying and crying. It was from that day forward that my weight suddenly had meaning. And it wasn’t a good one.
2. The abusive relationship
This stage lasted for me from about 9 years old to my late twenties. Basically, 20 years.
In the abusive relationship stage, I did a lot of bad things. Things that are super uncharacteristic of who I am today and I am super ashamed to share what I am about to share.
I played around with really unhealthy things to try to lose weight. As a teenager, I used to use diet teas, diet pills, fat blockers, fat burners, and laxatives. I was so OBSESSED with getting skinnier and I literally didn’t care how I was going to do it. Plus I didn’t know anything about anything. Honestly, if I were me then, right now, I’d probably fall into the traps of skinny teas and waist trainers. I was naive, desperate, and I just wanted to lose weight so bad so I could fit in. Maybe have more friends. Maybe have boys like me.
I remember specifically this one time in the Fall of Freshman year of college, when I went to Rite Aid to look for diet pills. After spending about 30 minutes going up and down the supplements aisle, I ended up choosing this pack of green tea fat burning pills because it was only $8.99. I secretly carried that brown paper bag back to my dorm thinking I had the solution. I was so excited to take one. I remember it smelling so strongly herbal that I wanted to throw up, but I didn’t care, I was going to suck it up and TAKE IT because THIS was going to make me skinny.
After swallowing 1 pill, like the back of the box said, I proceeded to read my bio textbook on mitochondria or whatever you learn in Bio 101. Then, 5 minutes in, I started to feel my heart thump. Then it thumped faster and faster!!! My face started to get hot and my head started to feel really weird. It felt like I was running without having gone on a run. I was so scared I was going to have a heart attack because my heart kept beating faster and faster and faster! I went to go lie down thinking that in that moment, I actually might die.
Then after college, I did my first and only bikini competition where I was trained by a bodybuilding coach to weigh in every day. If I was heavier, he’d tell me to stop eating so many carbs (this included iceberg lettuce), and then he’d proceed to make me do more cardio. I didn’t question his techniques or advice because he had won a ton of trophies in the bodybuilding world, so I just went into student mode and just listened to my teacher.
Losing weight throughout my 8-week bikini competition journey made me feel like I was achieving something I had never been able to do. It felt so good and so addicting to feel “successful”. Was I happy though? No. If you ask Sam who I became around that time, it was a really mean, really cranky, vanity driven version of Cassey.
After the competition when I decided to go back to “normal-healthy” living, not bikini competitor living (which is not healthy or sustainable for the long term by the way) – my body was so deprived that it soaked up every calorie I was eating. I started to gain weight and I couldn’t control it. My body was so messed up. Every time I stepped on the scale, it made no sense. Sometimes salads would make me gain and pizza would make me lose. Working out didn’t even seem to matter. I had totally damaged my metabolism. I was so scared to step on the scale because anytime I’d see the number jump, I’d cry and let the rest of my day go to waste.
3. The break up
There comes a time when any girl with body image issues should probably just get rid of their scale. When I made the decision to live a scale-free life at the end of my 20s until I was 32, it was freeing. Initially.
It was the phase of my life where I was gaining weight on YouTube and everyone saw. People commented on my body all the time, saying that my workouts must not work because I was getting fat. There was hate from a community of YouTubers who made videos about my body, shaming me for the way I looked and the way I ate. It was during this time period that I had to toughen up and learn how to love my body regardless of how I looked or how much I weighed. I think a lot of you guys probably found my workouts around this time because of my viral video “The Perfect Body” where I visually photoshop myself on camera to look like how people want me to look. Bigger boobs, bigger butt, thinner waist, thigh gappier thighs.
It was from that moment that Blogilates became synonymous with body positivity and it was a good thing for me. I was still healing from years of hating my body, and hearing that other women were feeling the same things I was feeling was so encouraging and so empowering.
Body positivity helped free me from food jail. I was no longer scared of eating foods I used to label as bad. So Sam and I kind of went crazy. We ordered dessert after every meal, we ate late, we went out a lot, and we really had a great time trying out so many new restaurants. It was awesome to have this break from eating healthy because it actually ended up recalibrating my metabolism in a way.
However, when your job is to make fitness videos and you actually need the RIGHT fuel to get through a workout, you just can’t eat like that. I remember being on set for a HIIT video and asking to take a break between filming because I could barely breathe. It was so embarrassing because ALL of my videos are filmed in real-time, no breaks – ever. After that shoot, I realized that real food freedom doesn’t mean eat whatever you want all the time. Food is supposed to help you not hurt you, and my “food freedom” was getting to a point where I couldn’t even do my job right.
So as you can see, there is a stage after stage 3. It doesn’t apply to everyone, because some people’s stage 3 is the type of freedom they need.
But not for me.
Eating “whatever I wanted” did not result in true happiness and freedom because it was hindering my strength and my endurance. It was affecting my body and my business and I was not feeling my best.
That’s why stage 3 for me, was just a temporary healing phase.
4. Empowered relationship with the scale
The empowered relationship is where you are unafraid to step on the scale because you realize it actually doesn’t hold any power over you. A higher number or a lower number on the scale does not affect your mood because you know that your weight is simply a data point and that a scale is simply a tool that could help you reach your goals.
August 2019 was the beginning of stage 4 for me.
You already know that this is when I embarked on my 90-day journey and actually weighed myself every single day. The first day I stepped on the scale, I had to keep repeating to myself that this was just a number. It was still shocking to see how that number after YEARS of not stepping on the scale, but it also felt like I was getting to know myself again. Like I was unafraid to know this extra information about me.
The more I stepped on the scale, the less it scared me. Because I had goals to reach and I needed as many tools to help me as I could! I wanted to get in the best shape of my life mentally and physically and that involved weighing myself, which is fine when you ARE intentionally trying to lose weight, which for the record is NOT a bad thing if you’re going into it with a healthy purpose.
On the contrary, if you’re not in the right headspace when you’re going on a weight loss journey, this is incredibly dangerous for your mental health and I do not want you to go near a scale. Stay in stage 3!
If you still feel like higher numbers make you sad and lower numbers make you happy, I highly suggest that you work on healing yourself first before you do anything related to weight loss. You will be at risk of falling back into stage 2 – the abusive relationship.
If you still want to go on a journey – go on one! But make it about lifting heavier, holding longer planks, running faster, or finishing one of my 7-day or 30-day challenges! You have plenty to choose from on my blog. What you need are some non-numerical achievements to give you a sense of what un-weight related success feels like.
Remember, I didn’t get to stage 4 without being in stage 3 for like five to six years. I took 5-6 years to heal my body image issues and re-calibrate my metabolism. I’ve now been in 4 of my relationship with the scale, the empowered stage, and I feel good. Who knows what stages are still left to be uncovered but if i discover any more, I will share them with you.
I’d love to know which stage you’re currently in with the scale! Please leave a comment below and let’s have a really open discussion about it where you are and where you wanna be. I’ll see you in there.
36 thoughts on “It Wasn’t The Scale. It Was Me.”
There are Array36 comments posted by our users.
Cassey, thank you for sharing this! Your videos and positive attitude gives me so much hope that I can have a healthy relationship with my body/weight, food, etc. I have struggled since I was little being fat and went through something similar where I was obsessed with being skinny. I am currently in stage 3 feeling the same as you did. I am working towards stage 4. Thank you for everything you do, you really change my mindset to be the best version of me and I want you to know what a difference you make!
Thank u for sharing bec is important to you and also for others, when you can relate and understand that you are not alone! i loose 20kg in 3 weeks…suicidal thoughts and depression. Medication helps me balance but also i gain so much weight that i dont recognize myself. Now i m better but still struggling with loosing weight, especially bec i never liked before exercise (or has the energy and will to do it) . You make me like exercise and i follow your program every day. So despite the fact that the road is still an uphill i thank u so much.
I’m using my scale as part of my healthy weight loss journey. It’s actually kind of nice. I was nervous at first because I didn’t like where I was overall, but knowing it’s a daily thing takes the stress out of it. When it’s lower, that’s great. When it’s higher, I remind myself that “Weight loss isn’t a straight line down. It has hills and valleys. The important thing is that overall it’s progressing down, and you’re seeing and feeling better change.”
It also lets me know to stay mindful. Because I have that tool holding me accountable every morning.
Also, I remind myself that as a woman: I am cyclical. And I can’t get too hung up on daily fluctuations. Water retention is a thing on some days 🤷🏻♀️
Thank you Cassey for sharing your story! It is comforting to know I’m not alone in some of the thoughts and feelings related to weight and body image. I think right now I’m between stage 2 and 3. I’ve always had body image issues but 4 years ago I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease. It is was so severe in the beginning that I went from 160 lbs to 98 lbs. I was not eating anything besides toast or applesauce because everything triggered my symptoms. Funny thing is, I received so many compliments on how great I looked and what was my secret to losing weight so fast. Now that I am on a treatment plan that is helping my symptoms, I am able to tolerate more food. Unfortunately, mostly this is carbs because I can’t tolerate too much fiber. I have gained weight and while my medical team and family is happy I am at a healthy weight, in my head I miss how I looked before. I am so blessed to have a treatment plan that is helping but when I look in the mirror I am not happy. I am thankful to have found your videos and blog which are helping me see a new perspective on body image and also your workouts which make exercise exciting and not feel like a chore! 😊
Thankful for explaining what happen to you in relationships with scales I went on a similar journey like you. My started with my teens when my brother called me thunder thighs. That hurt and it stuck in my brain. Lots of trying different diets started and losing and gaining weight. Roll on to my 20’s and getting married and having 3 children. Then going on another diet when my youngest was 2 as I had developed asthma because of my weight. Then got thin again and then fat. My relationship with good wasn’t good at all. Roll on to now and doing 21 day challenge.My whole body had changed shape. I didn’t not eat the carbs but stuck to the routine.
As for the scales I have experienced 1-2 many a time and now reach stage 3 no scales. Going into stage 4 letting my clothes tell me how my weight is doing. It’s my birthday soon and I will eat cake and enjoy myself! Thankful for being so honest.
Proud to say I’m in stage 3 right now. I am 24 and I’ve only been here for maybe a year. So I’m not ready for stage 4 or the 90 day challenge yet but maybe in a few years. Thank you for this article I definitely learned something about you and something about myself!
I don’t actually fit into one of these. I use the scale as a tool and while I’m trying to weight, I usually don’t let a big number destroy my day. Sure, it makes me sad, depressed… but 9 times out of 10, I just try harder. I do still have those moments where it does ruin my day, but I’m usually back on my feet within a week. People tell me not to use the scale if I’m trying to loose weight because it will discourage me. I tell them the true measurement I really care about is the one I physically measure around my belly. I get a lot of “don’t use the scale” and it kinda makes me mad because I’m being thrown in a stereotype here. It’s like a “you’re a woman and you’ll want to have babies someday” type of thing. People automatically fit me into a category, when I don’t belong to just one. If I were to pick a catagory here, I would say that I jump between 2 and 4… which sounds crazy.
Anyone else like this? You can gain 5lbs sometimes and feel “okay” with it… that it may make you sad, but you keep on going?
NOTE: I KNOW IT IS BAD WHAT I AM ABOUT TO WRITE AND DON’T TAKE EXAMPLE FROM ME
So. I don’t use scale. The last time I did was in March, and before that around November. I am at the stage where I know that something is really bad for me (I don’t eat for days and still workout about an hour a day) but I have it under control (at least it seems like that but I bet you are going to think I don’t) so I am still doing it. I am living alone in Finland (I am an exchange student) while all my family and friends are back in Poland (my home country) so no-one knows I am living this way. When someone asks me “how are you? are you eating?” I answer “I am great! I’ve had plums today” (I love plums!) and that’s the worst part. I am kinda tired of lying but also I know it would cause me lots of troubles AND my family and friends would be worried. Honestly I don’t feel bad not eating, like I can deal with the hunger (it shows up around day 5th) but the lying part, man… I guess I have some kind of a problem but I don’t think I am going to do anything about it until I will look satisfactory in my own eyes. The best part is, I started my healthy lifestyle at te beginning of the year, and it really was healthy. I was eating healthy, mostly fruits and veggies. Working out and all that. I saw results, quite big actually, in 6 months I’ve lost around 15 kg (don’t know for sure because I don’t weight myself). But then I got bored of the slow action. And here I am, not buying food, not going out, and lying to everyone. As you can see, it is not about the scale, but mentality. And for the notice, I find “bigger” bodies very attractive, I just hate myself being big.
With love,
S
I know this seems rare, but i am 19 years old and am still in stage 1. I just dont care. I didnt compare my weight to peers when i was a teenager, i always liked the way my body looks. I appreciate that a lot, because in the internet it always seems like *every single girl* has confidence issues and if that is the case, i guess im the rare exception.
I don’t go hard on myself alhamdulilah.. I check it.. And that is the fact.. That I weight like that and then I just improve that’s all to it.. Those Who are so concerned about it need to look at the real problem people are facing around the globe and should be grateful that their problems is nothing compared to theirs… Life is not about the weight and they need that lesson…
Thank you for sharing your story. It’s very inspirational.
I am in Stage 3 but going back and forth between 2 mindsets.
First, wanting to get healthier and look really good. I am neither fat nor skinny-normal. More like chubby. My goal is to have a flat belly and less fat at my arms. I feel confident as long as no one can see my bare belly but I want to wear cropped tops and tight turtlenecks.
Second, telling myself things like “You should get your mental health fixed first” (because when I feel really bad the only things that work are food or watching series, staying in bed all day) and since some of my friends experienced sexual harassment and rape I’ve started thinking “Maybe these things won’t happen to me if i stay lightly overweight”. I am really scared of that topic so it really affects my decision to do or not do sports. I don’t know how to overcome it. I don’t even know if I want to.
Do you have some advice for me?
Thank you <3
Hi Cassey, I am not sure, if this is a right place to leave this comment– it does not relate to scale, but I have to. First of all, I have admired you and your work for years (at least 9 years). I started to excercise with you years ago in a way I show my body my respect and love (not the opposite). THANK YOU FOR THAT. I struggled with food too, but now I found my way of eating. And during that process, when I was learning how to love and respect myself I found out, that first of all I should be thankful to the Earth that I have food to eat, and water to drink, and sunshine and air. And somehow automaticly taking care of myself makes me take care of other people, animals and nature. And yesterday evening, in my bed came to my mind the thought that I could write you. You have such an influence on many people (even those which give you negative commments surely admire you, because if people does not care, they do not waste their time by writing comments…). So maybe, you could show people how to protect nature (making less waste, using paper bags instead of plastic, cooking from a scratch, supporting local farmers..). There are many ways how every of us can show that we care. Thank you for considering ;). Have a beautifull day ;).
Hello Cassey, I’m new to your programs so I definitely didn’t know much about you or your experiences.
I’m so happy you were once like me, it gives me hope that I could one day become confident and at peace with myself and my body.
I was in stage 3 for a long time, and I was fine I wasn’t checking the scale I was taking progress pictures and getting stronger and that was satisfying to me, but…I fell back into stage 2 when a friend asked how much I weighed (It was just a piece of information, that everyone should be aware of so, I decided to make use of her home scale, and that’s how i fell back into stage 2). It’s so funny how one little machine can erase the mental and physical progress I had been making. My unknowing friend simply said “oh you’ve probably gained muscles weight”, it made sense since I had been working out and but it made no sense since I was still eating in a deficit. The pictures shooters changes or progress but the scale didn’t reduce and immediately I felt fat again. I felt like my 16yr old overweight self all over again.
I could especially relate to you because there were times when I was being “good” and yet the scale wasn’t changing or even increased, and when I was being bad it went down, but I also couldn’t bring myself to eat more calories.
Now back to where I am, as of today, I’m deciding to move to stage 3 and stay for as long as I need, because I am more than some number on a scale and I’ll start taking victory in doing more push-ups and getting stronger.
Thank you Cassey, for sharing your story, I can’t wait for the day where I completely progress to stage 4 even!
Thank you so much for posting this, I can only imagine all the years of self-hatred and those horrible comments. Its absolutely amazing that you can share your struggle and journey to recovery, and in that way destigmatize it and help others.
At the beginning of your blog it says “I feel like it’s either you either hate the scale…or you’re a guy.”, and I ask if you could change that last part, so as to remind us that guys have eating disorders too.
Thank you so much for being amazing and helping me love my body.
Have a great day!
I am 58. Never owned a scale. I always work out and eat well. I go through periods where I get depressed, overwhelmed and caught up in whatever…this year has been quite difficult. I know when I’m not working out smart, not sleeping well and hurting myself with the wrong foods that this results in eventual weight gain. If my pants are too tight, I grow muffin top, my bras are too tight. That’s my scale. I think we are all well aware of what takes us off course. The scale is not healthy
I weigh myself everyday. I am defined in stage 2 because that little number dictates my day and week. I fear how food will affect that number. I cannot think of anything worse than not having or using a scale.
I hope one day I can heal my relationship with food and fitness for the better just like Cassey!
I am at stage 2. I still have a long way to go. I feel guilty whenever I eat more than one cup of rice or whenever I eat after 7PM or whenever I eat snacks. I hate myself whenever I cannot resist the food in front of me. I hate myself when I am starting to work out then feel lazy the next day and using my sore body as an excuse. Cassey, it is so hard but I am really trying because I do not want to go back to my past self. I hated that version of mine. I am so glad I found your channel recently. Thank you for inspiring me. I hope I can be like you someday. I hope I can reach Stage 4, too. 🙁
Hi Sath, my name is Kate and I’m a doctor. I’m just reaching out because I read your comment and it sounds to me like you might benefit from chatting to a doctor or therapist about these feelings. Please consider this suggestion if it’s possible for you and your circumstances.
Best wishes
It’s a spectrum for me. I love working out and eating better because I feel great but it causes a lot of mental problems of feeling fat even if I can SEE the changes. Or like now when I am bigger than I’d like working on the weight loss but not really sure how it will go this time. I’m a little worried because I’m afraid of going too far because even though you can see the change you can’t always feel it from a mental perspective.
I think I jump around a lot on this scale. I’m in the 4ish range, but sometimes I have my 2 and 3 moments. I have to remind myself of who I am and what is my real purpose. What is my life about? That takes me back.
Hi Casey, thanks for sharing this ! I really need this as I am at stage 2 now and at the beginning of stage 3 where I don’t want the scale figure to control my happiness. I want to stop crying because of eating the so called unhealthy food. I really hope i can step into stage 3 as I am so obsessed with my body figure
Finally! I’m tired of hearing people blame the scale when they can take responsibility for their own thoughts and actions. The scale can be your best friend if you wanted to! Diets do work! And another unpopular opinion I have is that I don’t believe in moderation! I think abstinence from certain foods is pure freedom 🙂
Definitely stage three. Last time I checked my weight, I gained a couple pounds, which isn’t anything statistically. However, I felt I had made so much progress in my fitness journey and this moment deflated me and felt invalidating. Losing weight is hard for me, but I am seeing more muscle definition and I’m eating healthy and not counting calories. I’m also allowing myself to eat junk when it feels right. I’m also trying to focus on the type of exercise that makes me feel good within my lifestyle as a teacher. Right now that’s yoga with the occasional Pilates. Cassey you helped me begin and sustain my fitness journey, and I want to thank you for creating this safe space for all of us.
Thank you for sharing this! I think I’m in stage 4 with the scale, but more like stage 2.5 with how my tummy looks. I’ve never really cared how much I weighed, but my puffy tummy bothers me a lot. I’d be fine weighing whatever if it my tummy was flat. I’m having a hard time figuring out if it’s fat, age, bloating – probably a combination of all 3. Plus I’ve had 2 kids. Exercising hasn’t really helped in the past, and eating clean/eating light seems useless because no matter what, my tummy is always puffed out and I look like I’m still pregnant. However I’ve been using FitOn for 2 weeks and trying to stick with it. I found your videos from FitOn, and they are my favorite!
I stay in stage 3….but occasionally tempted to see…..I check my weight….When I feel…I’m regular with my workouts & I feel Light. Soo the lighter weight makes me happy. …But yes……if its higher….I dont care about it. …I accept it as it is.
I don’t feel good. Yesterday I weighed myself and found out I had gained 2 lbs from the last time I weighed in. I wrote out my “why statement” a little while ago on the reasons that I wanted to lose weight. I tried to keep all my thoughts on the “body positive” perspective, and I wanted to think like Cassey and want to lose weight to get stronger and fitter.
Today I ripped up that statement because I knew deep down that it wasn’t true. I do in fact want to lose weight to be stronger, but mainly because I want to fit into my clothes, and look good in them. I try to focus my diet around foods that will make me feel good in the end, but I can never do it. I always end up indulging in one of my “carb-ey” cravings, and end up crying myself to sleep because of it. I want to be healthy and strong so bad, but at dinner time, in which the kitchen smells of all the delicious foods my mom makes, I indulge. I can’t stop it. And worst of all, my family can’t financially afford to get me one of the beautiful fit journals that just came out for 2021.
Hopefully soon I can figure out how to eat clean while having a good workout schedule (which I already have because I follow Cassey’s workout calendars).
I’m at stage 3. At this point in my fitness journey, I don’t care about how much I weigh, but how I feel. I love your openness on these topics.
For about 8 years (age 13-20) I was at something like stage 2.5. I went through cycles of obsesssive weighing while regularly exercising, losing motivation to workout and avoiding scales like the plague, then telling myself I didn’t care and eating whatever and lazing around. The last 3 of those 9 years, I was diagnosed with depression and bulimia nervosa. I dedicated 2018-2019 to stage 3, healing my mind and attitude towards myself and fitness. I’ve been in stage 4 since the beginning of 2020 where I weighed in at my heaviest (170lbs and I’m 5’9″) and am now at my strongest, happiest, and healthiest (mentally and physically). Being at my lightest (145lbs) is just a nice bonus at this point!
Cassey, you were a constant throughout all this. Watching your 90 day journey was one of the inspirations to what I call the journey to the rest of my life which I began this 2020. I love you so much! From the bottom of my heart, thank you ❤
Yes. I hadn’t looked at a scale in about 4 years, because I know how much it can mess with my brain. But part way through quarantine, I noticed I hadn’t been without heartburn for weeks, and my ankles and knee were hurting more, and all I could wear was leggings and really flowy or dark+stretchy knit tops. I decided it was time to step on the scale and I was expecting it to be up, but not THAT up! Like literally, I had just barely crossed into the “morbidly obese” range. So I decided it was time to start on a mindful, careful, weight loss journey for my own comfort, pocketbook, and long-term health. I’ve only had 3 weekly weigh-ins so far (1 starting, 2 check-points) and skipped this last one because my period was making me feel all bloated and I didn’t feel mentally strong enough to handle a (potential) increase at the time – but I’m setting small goals and I hope that this time I can actually get down to a healthy weight in a sustainable way – and I can’t do that without using my scale for checkpoints. I feel like I’ll probably be oscillating between 3 and 4 every now and then – but at least I now understand that 4 is possible.
Thank you for sharing your journey Cassey, I think this resonates with a lot of us, from hearing something in your childhood to being obsessed with it throughout young adulthood. I’m currently in Stage 3. Stepped on a scale at the doctors and the number was higher than the year before and I initially was super upset but it did not totally ruin my day like I thought it would, so things are getting better. I remember joining the popster community right around the bikini competition days and you talking about the after math and I’m sorry you felt the need to go through all this again but I think it really will help people. For the record despite also wondering prior to this if maybe being thin was why you were so happy post 90day journey, ultimately nothing else mattered while doing your workouts because you were always the same insanely strong person kicking my butt at this workout. Thanks so much
Thank you for this amazing blog and for being so honest. I thought I was in Stage 3 until I went to the doctor recently and stepped on the scale for the first time in a long while, and all the panic and anxiety came back.
Oh Cassey this is everything I needed to read! I’ve spent most of my life in stage 2 and am now in stage 3 with a wrecked metabolism and uncontrollable weight gain and it is SO encourage to see that it won’t be like this forever. I’ve also been feeling the negative effects of eating whatever I want, so I’m going to start planning my own 90 day journey IMMEDIATELY and start it asap 😊 thank you SO MUCH Cassey xxxx
PS I meant to say – point 4 above is labelled as point 3. Please can you correct it? Thanks!
This is a great blog, Cassey. Thank you for sharing and explaining so carefully. I hope it helps a lot of people. I think I’m in stage 3 because my weight basically stays the same, varying by only about 2 kg (4 pounds) in either direction, so I rarely weigh myself. Instead I use how I feel and how I look to myself as my motivation to work out, eat well and try to remember to drink more water, as you’re always reminding us! Thanks again for being honest, motivating and inspiring.
This is a really great explanation of the nuance about tracking our weight. It’s not always good or always bad. Headspace matters so much!! I was technically in stage 1 until my early 20s, but I still had some body dysmorphia issues. I just didn’t think of it in terms of my weight – more my clothing size and visual appearance. I guess I hated stage 2 so much that I spent the next several years bouncing back and forth between stages 3 and 4. It was hard to stay in stage 4 though, because I would lose focus and YOLO would take over. I hadn’t figured out how to mesh a healthy lifestyle with having a social life. Now I use a combination of Blogilates workouts and Noom (NOOM ALSO ENCOURAGES PEOPLE TO CHECK THEIR WEIGHT EVERY DAY BUT USE THE SCALE AS A TOOL TO REACH GOALS), which has me solidly in stage 4 for the past two months!
Hello Cassey, Thank you for writing about this difficult subject. To lose 50 pounds I had to overcome emotional and metal blocks first. Then change my eating habits. Today the scale is just a tool that I use. I wrote about it in detail on my blog. Link under my name.