Why is it ok for men to lose weight, but not women? | Day 11 of 90
On Sunday, I met up with a couple friends for a 7:45am weight lifting class (Sam came too, yay!) and then we ended up having a pretty deep post-workout conversation.
My friend Jason Chen (he’s an awesome OG singer on YouTube) and I were talking very candidly about our goals. When I first announced that I wanted to get super fit on my 90 Day Journey, he wrote me and said that I inspired him and that he wanted to do it too! Hence why we met up for weight lifting class at 7:45am on a Sunday.
He was asking me about how things were going and I told him about all the controversy I was experiencing over wanting to lose some weight and shed some fat. He was genuinely astonished. He said that whenever he announces that he wants to lean down, it’s never become a “thing”. His community either applauds him or they scroll right by. No negativity whatsoever. No “you already look good, why are you doing this?” comments. No “it means you don’t love your body” assumptions.
Last week, I was also talking to another friend who texted me about my feature in Women’s Health. “Fitness IG Star Cassey Ho is on a 90 Day Weight Loss Challenge – And People Have Feelings.” The title itself already primes one to think I’m doing something bad.
Then she said just after a few scrolls, we saw a link to a Men’s Health article applauding a man for basically doing the same exact thing. “This Guy Reined in His Diet to Lose 30 Pounds and Get Shredded.”
The article begins with the man saying that “stepping on a scale drove home just how far downhill he’d gotten. At his heaviest, he was about 207 pounds.” Hmm sound familiar??? The corporate life was apparently taking a toll on him, affecting his overall appearance and his health. He said he looked like a “blimp.” So what did he do about it? He went on a new diet and committed to a “rigorous workout plan” which helped him lose 30 pounds in 17 weeks.
I don’t think it is a coincidence that both our journeys started with us stepping on the scale and realizing we needed to make a change. But I find it absolutely sexist that my decision to lose weight and shred fat is considered “disappointing” while his is being celebrated.
I mean, think about it. Women can’t do anything without being judged for how they look – even when it DOESN’T MATTER. Female athletes for example, often get comments on their outfits instead of their achievements. Same with women in politics. Same with women in business. And the sad part is, not only are we being judged by men – some of our harshest critics are own fellow females.
From what I’ve observed, I don’t see men judging other men on how the look. If they lose weight, no big deal. If they gain weight, no big deal.
If I lose weight, all of a sudden I’m “not body positive” and a “bad influence on women”. If I gain weight, all of a sudden I’m “too fat to be a fitness trainer.”
Why? I don’t know. Maybe it’s because we were brought up to pay so much attention to our looks from the beginning. Makeup. Push-up bras. Shaving. Small waists. Comparing ourselves to the prettiest girl in class or the hottest actress on TV. Maybe it’s a weird insecure human-behavior thing that falsely makes us believe that by bringing other women down, we can bring ourselves up?
I don’t think that behavior is representative of POPsters – so I’m grateful for the kind, amazing, and encouraging women who make up the Blogilates community. I whole heartedly believe that some of the criticism that I got for starting the 90 day Challenge came from a place of genuine concern for my health and for other women suffering from eating disorders and body image disorders. The rest of it, I’d categorize as people being angry at me and not respecting the decisions that I am making for my OWN BODY.
Why do you think men and women are judged so differently when it comes to weight loss and weight gain?
DAY 10 RECAP:
Sunday was a glorious day! I woke up and weight lifted with Sam and 2 friends! Then I took Sir George to my favorite groomer (she specializes in Japanese style dog haircuts) and asked her to give Sir the biggest ballin’ ball style head she could.
And look…
I’M DEAD.
THIS. IS. PERFECTION.
If you guys look at my IG feed, all you’re gonna see is every kind of ball head Japanese dog. I am obsessed with dogs from Japan because I’ve never seen anyone treat a dog’s haircut with as much precision and artistry as Japanese groomers. I’ve been working really hard to grow Sir’s hair longer and thicker so that his ball head can be huger and huger. The bigger the ball, the better 😛
While I was waiting for Sir’s hair to be all done up (3-4 hrs they said), I took a dance class and did work on my phone!
Next, for lunch I made tacos. Sam had regular tortillas. I swapped mine for butter lettuce. Inside there is ground turkey, pico de gallo, roasted peppers, fresh homemade guacamole, and a little bit of mozzarella cheese on top. These were AMAZING.
For dinner, I attempted to make my own baba ganoush! I was really scared it was going to taste weird (I had never made it before) but to my total surprise – IT WAS DELICIOUS!!! I used this recipe from Cookie + Kate.
INGREDIENTS
- 2 pounds Italian eggplants (about 2 small-to-medium eggplants*)
- 2 medium cloves of garlic, pressed or minced
- 2 tablespoons lemon juice, more if necessary
- ¼ cup tahini
- ⅓ cup extra-virgin olive oil, plus more for brushing the eggplant and garnish
- 2 tablespoons chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley, plus extra for garnish
- ¾ teaspoon salt, to taste
- ¼ teaspoon ground cumin
- Pinch of smoked paprika, for garnish
I now have baba ganoush for the rest of the week! WHOOOO!!!
The day was also glorious because Sam and I made dinner together! I asked him to zoodle the zucchini and he totally killed it. 2 fresh zucchinis for him and 2 more me. We patted the zoodles down with paper towels so many times – pre and post sautéing but they were still really wet. I wonder if we need to eat them raw? I’ll need to look up some zoodling techniques.
I also made some roasted chicken drumsticks! Yum! Dinner was sort of a mix between middle eastern and Italian? Whatever. It was good!!!
Oh, but you know what was NOT good?
I tried out this vanilla flavored MCT Oil powder that a company sent me and I mixed it with almond milk. It tasted pretty weird. It tasted fake-sweet. I hate fake-sweet. I’d rather not have any sweetness at all. I’ll report back to you guys once I figure out how to use this. So far, no luck!
68 thoughts on “Why is it ok for men to lose weight, but not women? | Day 11 of 90”
There are Array68 comments posted by our users.
Jason is sweet. It’s sad to hear that men and women aren’t seen the same way. It seriously pisses me the f off. We can’t change our body because we’re only supposed to be pleasing to men, not to ourselves. You can’t have a bigger butt nor a small one. Small boobs? Not interesting! Go make them bigger. So on and so on. I hate how women are just bodies and objects for some. We are more than that! Girls need to be taught that they can look a certain way and still be happy with that. They can change their bodies and be strong (at the gym too!) without fearing judgment. That’s the reason why I love POPsters so much, they’re honestly one of the few best communities on YouTube – they’re supportive, positive, non-judgmental and help you and encourage you when they know that what you’re doing makes you happy. I’ve seen sooooo many comments lifting others up, cheering others up! Unfortunately there also are mean people who will attack you for the sake of it.
Georges is so damn cute no matter what haha. The sun rays on your happy face: so cute, so sweet!
I love you! You are amazing and strong! I am for you 150%!! Screw what every one else says. The ones that always complain are not even followers. It’s like when people that complain about video games, they’re not even gamers! Their opinions don’t matter. Only your audience matters and even then, when it comes to YOUR fitness and YOUR body, no one but YOU matter.
I just want to say I’m so happy to be reading these updates everyday – catching up now its just motivating me so much!!
Hey there. Really proud of you. Keep going with your 90-day-plan!! And for the zoodle Problem. Try salting them a little before patting them with paper towels. The salt brings out the water in the Zucchini so you get more out and its Not as wet. :*
Hey! I actually wrote my bachelor thesis about fat shaming which is a very well documented thing (I remember a few examples still: parents give less money to their overweight children at college, they are more likely to be considered stupid and lazy) and this effect is so much stronger for women! Already at BMI of 25 they face a lot of stigma, but for men its from 30 and up. Also, ever though how in all the (american *may I add*) the men are chubby and funny and they are married to the SKINNIEST women!? I mean, why are they getting those hot women as wifes!? And why are they allowed to be chubby and the women are not? Unfair! :p
You’re so right about chubby men being married to extremely good looking women! My sister and I often talk about this. It seems men always aim for women who are wayyy out of their league, whereas women tend to settle for less ( maybe coz they’re too kind, IDK). I don’t know about you, but I find it disturbing.
Yes, there is sexism in regard to weight and gender, but equally disturbing is the idea that a skinny woman must be settling if she’s in a relationship with a heavy man is disgusting. Implying that thin people are in some way better than heavy people is (OBVIOUSLY) wrong.
I agree that no-one should be ‘body-shamed’, ever. I used to be ‘skinny-shamed’, as I was always naturally very thin despite eating like a horse, and told all the time, “Just eat PBJ sandwiches all the time, and you’ll gain weight.” Errr… no. If you’re naturally thin, that’s where your body is at. And the same applies to someone who is naturally heavier – after all, our bodies are just the package each of us is in, right? What I don’t understand at all though is why women are so critical when a woman decides she wants to change her body in a healthy way. You’re not criticising anyone else, or telling them to get on the same bandwagon; you’re just doing what’s best for you, and not from an obsessive, unhealthy point of view either.
You really are the inspiration Cassie, love your integrity, authenticity, and your videos! Working out with you keeps me sane, it’s how I treat myself after a long day 🙂
It’s a double standard, women are told to only care about how they look from other people’s perspectives, but when they choose to care about their own bodies for their own health and wellbeing, we get shamed if other people don’t approve.
I think at least some of the backlash to women losing weight is because there is often more pressure for women to be a certain weight. You mention that men don’t usually care what other men look like, and I think that’s true most of the time. I think women feel more pressure to be a certain weight, and that adds a lot more emotion to the idea of losing (and also gaining) weight than many men have.
I wholly believe people should be able to do whatever they want with their bodies, including losing weight, as long as they’re not harming themselves, but I am sympathetic towards all of the emotion (anger, sadness, etc.) that many women (including myself to a degree) associate with weight loss after living most of our lives feeling shamed for our weight and/or other aspects of our appearances in ways that men aren’t. I don’t think going after someone for wanting to lose weight is the best way to deal with those negative emotions, but I do understand feeling upset to see weight loss being promoted (or at least to perceive it that way) when you already feel like it’s being pushed on you every day.
All that being said, you should be free to do what you want with your body. I don’t want my comment to seem like it’s trying to shame you, and I’m not trying to say that you’re doing anything wrong or should stop, just that I understand why people are upset.
Agreed.
Its like taylors song “THE MAN”
I literally thought about this song while I was reading this blog too! If she were a man… she’d be the man.
Cassey, I spiralize my zucchini, chop them so they’re bite sized, and use them raw. Any warm sauce works well with them not being cooked. I love zucchini this way! And I also feel the same about other people’s attitudes. I am 10 pounds from my goal weight, and people say I’m thin, and that I shouldn’t be eating lean to lose weight. I’m 5’6″ and a size 6-8. I’ve got some flab under my clothes. It’s my flab, my choice! Why shouldn’t I try to be my version of what’s best? I’m loving the food I eat and I am not suffering. It’s no one else’s business! You know, I think other people are just opinionated, period. Because the truth is, when I look and feel fantastic I get lots of positivity going on around me, and when I’m overweight, even by 10 or 15 pounds, it’s like I’m invisible. We need to follow our instincts and shut out other people’s negative comments.
Hi Cassey. Middle Aged Mom here LOVING that you’re not afraid to continue sharing your POV on fitness and our own POWER to shape and mold this hunk o’ meat we live in IF and WHEN we choose to.
I’ve been feeling rather powerless lately, ironically, because of the “Body Positivity Movement”.
I thought it was about self-love, self-acceptance and showing grace towards yourself and others. Turns out that it’s also about judging others if they say they want to change their body, lose fat or eat more mindfully.
I got JUMPED ON by some younger (20s/30s) friends when I mentioned getting back in shape after a summer full of vacay-mode weekends and lazy evenings. They claimed I was “shaming myself” and “buying into toxic diet culture”. Thing is, I didn’t judge how my body became (relatively) larger, slower and softer during these past few months, and I also don’t judge my desire to become (relatively) slimmer, stronger and harder over the next few months. I love that we humans have the POWER to choose. I can change my habits and change my body (gradually over months) when I want to while accepting myself and accepting the process. The only thing I can’t do, apparently, is talk about it.
Because women (not all but enough to be heard) are just often spiteful when they see someone doing something they wish they could do but don’t have the drive. I get it. When I see someone “fit” or good looking my first emotion is resentment. I have to actively remind myself that it’s stupid to compare myself and if I want to change how I look then I should do something about it instead of hating others. We need to raise our girls to just stop comparing. Your journey is your own.
Hi Cassey,
you can take away a lot of excess water from the zucchini if you add some salt to the zoodles and let it steep for approx. 20-30min. After that you can really squeeze out a looot of water with your hands 🙂 squeeze it like a zucchini ball sort of.
Less paper towles wasted, less water – yay 🙂
I start my day with coffee and unspiration from your posts. 💃
Now that you bring it up, it totslly DOES seem sexist that women are shamed for wanting to lose weight. Like WTF?! And often by other women as well. And even if concerned readers who are women comment, they rarely comment on a man’s Weight loss journey but more often so on a women’s…that just doesnt seem fair.
Society is just sexist. It sucks.
But I totally want to try that Baba Ganoush recipe! I’ve never had it before, but it sounds delicious! I just need to get some eggplants. 😀
As women, it doesn’t matter what we do, we will always be too much for someone. Too fat, too thin, too body-positive, not body-positive enough, too loud, too quiet, blah blah blah blah. And what gets me is that I often hear it from other women!!! Ladies, if we want to change things, we gotta start with how we talk to each other. People are allowed to change and go through different chapters in life. Cassey had a chapter of disordered eating, a chapter of recovering from that, and now a chapter of taking what she learned in her recovery and applying it to increase her fitness and lose some fat. When it comes to recovery we don’t find a comfortable spot on the side of the road and hang out there for the rest of our lives. We. Keep. GOING. Cassey is taking back the thing that stole from her earlier in her life. Actively facing down the beast. I’m facing down my own beasts in my life. It’s scary as hell sometimes and other people aren’t always going to understand. Most of us have the luxury of facing our beasts privately. Because of her chosen career, Cassey is facing her beast publicly and dealing with the public flogging that goes along with it. Face that beast, Cass. Draw your sword and slay it.
For better zoodles, I throw out the inner seedy spirals and keep only the outer spirals. The seeds have so much water. I feel a little wasteful but I’m much happier with my crunchy zoodles!
I love that you are doing this and sharing it. It’s inspiring and thought provoking.
Diet and weight loss culture are patriarchal systems of oppression that work to objectify women, force women to objectify themselves and keep them trapped in cycles of shrinking and obsession in order to fit an impossible beauty ideal. They reduce us to our bodies. Body Positivity is about rejecting this ideal and accepting ourselves and then being more than our bodies.
These systems work better on women because of a historic and ongoing gender power imbalance.
They also affect men (as they are multi-billion dollar industries) to a lesser but still harmful extent.
The negative response to your body shrinking/fat shedding journey is a good thing, when it calls for true body positivity and rejects the thin ideal that you are promoting (whether or not you like it, that is the message you are promoting). I am glad that there has been such a strong negative response to your diet culture message, it means lots of us are actually awake.
I am tapping out.
For people interested in something more relevant and inspiring than diet fluff, look into beauty redefined, the beauty myth, I weigh, Christy Harrison, Virgie Tovar, the F* it diet. See more, be more!
If you actually took the time to read the “negative” comments, you’d see that NO ONE IS SHAMING YOU FOR LOSING WEIGHT. They are telling you that the way you’re talking about it is HARMFUL to other people. Listen to the criticism and learn from it. You have the power to make a difference and right now, it’s not a positive one. I’m glad you’re on your weight loss journey for yourself, but try to be more sensitive.
Perhaps it’s the beauty ideal that’s the problem. There should certainly be a wider range of acceptable sizes. I don’t, however, agree with the growing movement of body acceptance that says it’s ok to be morbidly obese and do nothing about it. That’s not to say that we shouldn’t love and respect people who are obese for who they are instead of focusing on their bodies. Health is important too. And that’s what the focus should be. Not beauty ideals.
Cassey isn’t loosing weight because a man or society told her to. She’s not loosing weight because she doesn’t think she’s enough. She’s doing it because she wants to be the best, healthiest version of herself. It’s her body. What’s more empowering than a woman working to become the best version of herself? As long as she is being kind to herself and her body in the process, I say more power to her!
I usually do a thicker slice for my zoodles and saute them for only 1-2 mins (just to heat up, not to really cook them too much). They are never wet! Love eating them with chopsticks, they feel like real noodles.
I agree with this – this is how I do it too. I barely throw them in the pan, and they stay quite firm and not watery at all.
The problem is not that you’re a woman losing weight. The problem is you opened up about your struggle with eating disorders. Then you came full speed ahead with the Body Positivity Movement. People have been saying it this entire time and you don’t seem to be getting it that being body positive is not the same as being positive about your body. You can have a positive outlook on your body and weight loss and want to change it and that’s fine! But branding yourself as body-positive a movement that identifies with supporting and embracing the body you are in without change is contradictory to your 90-day fitness journey. Your fitness journey is fine it’s not about that. It’s the fact that you’re claiming to be body positive while not actually being body positive. You may be positive about your body. But you’re not embracing it for what it is which is the whole point of being body positive. This isn’t to negate that women don’t have unfair standards that men don’t have but that’s not what is at issue here and that’s not why people are calling you out. Don’t align yourself with a movement that you can’t commit to.
100%. Well said. The “unfair standards” isn’t the point here.
Wow. I wasn’t aware that body positivity was only about being positive about your *unchanged* body. That’s…pretty ugly. I always see body positivity as being about being the best version of yourself, and about not judging the bodies of others.
I love my body, but it can be better. *I* can be better. And I am taking steps to improve it through fitness and what I eat. But that’s somehow toxic to body positivity? Screw that noise.
What a ridiculous mindset.
You are amazing! I completely agree with what you’re saying. It’s not that guys never get ashamed for loosing weight, but if you look at the majority/average it aligns exactly with what you’re saying.
“Losing” weight. 😉
it’s cute that you think guys don’t get criticized to lose weight.
Thank you for inspiring me with your blog posts. I love personal entries about a person’s day; also thank you for not being fussy about your food photos! You’re helping me stay motivated for my own mental/physical wellness goals. Good work on that baba ganoush!
Hi Cassey! I’m loving your 90 day journey!
I’ve struggled with zoodles too.. what I usually do is unfreeze them, let them rest with a little salt so they loose some more water, then squeeze them, and then I use the paper towels.
It’s actually “lose” not “loose.” The Internet has been messing people up because somebody started spelling it wrong. Loose is like “I lost a lot of weight, and now my pants are loose.” 😉
I love how honestly you are with the 90 days process of being a better you. I adored it!
There are certainly a lot of men that feel similar pressure to look a certain way, but the ingrained feelings to self-worth being tied to physical appearance is generally less.
Do you feel tired or cranky cutting carbs all of a sudden?
I agree with you that it is so unjust that still exist double standards and at the same time so terrifying that we do this to fellow woman ourselves (what was pretty clear during the last election). I hope one day it get better, cause I see my 12 yo sister, who’s looks perfectly normal and slim, saying she’s fat and ugly 😡😳
I feel like you would like “The Man” by Taylor Swift. Anyways, your body, your goals. You didn’t choose any unhealthy way, so it should be completely up to you (and I guess many people actually find your YouTube videos through similar goals, so whatever)
I make zoods all the time! Usually serve raw (whatever sauce served warmed and over them will cook them slightly) or pan fry for just a quick minute to heat up. Keeps them from getting mushy and letting out too much liquid. Saw other comments about roasting which i will definitely try too! Yum!
You are an inspiration!
I make zucchini spaghetti in the oven. Just put them in a (glass) baking dish with some olive oil. Cover it with aluminium foil and bake them for 15 minutes. They don’t come out wet. 🙂
If you put the zoodles in a strainer with salt on them, that can help draw out some of the moisture. I actually have found that roasting them in the oven helps….you avoid too wet zoodles or having to do the salting step which takes quite a bit of time. I pretty much roast everything at 425 and then check every 15 min or so depending on how roasted I want something. The zoodles do shrink like crazy in the oven, so I do way more then I think I will need.
Wow, I mean JUST WOW! Maybe, I came here at the wrong time, but you are so off the mark with some of the things you said like, “men don’t judge each other when it comes to weight gain or weight loss”? Take one look on youtube – it’s getting just as bad now with men as it is with women. I’m seeing guys get scrutinized left, right and center over their image. This is the first blog I visited because for some time now I’ve been interested in women’s fitness as well as men. I know it’s only natural for a person to gravitate towards their own gender when learning about this topic, but I have trained many blokes and I always get asked by my females for advice esp family members. I have a little niece too now growing who seems to have a fascination with it – which is partly why I’m starting to read more female blogs. You’re entitled to share your life experiences (which I think is great) but I have to disagree you about the gender differences with regards to body image-related issues. I’ll sign up to your newsletter and I hope you didn’t find this comment offensive.
I love reading your posts everyday 🙂 ! Keep going Cassey !! Thank you for sharing a recipe, too ! Looks delicious ! For the zoodles, I love this recipe: https://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/zucchini-noodles/
I think the key is to barely cook the zoodles, this way they are hot but not soggy !
You can eat zoodles raw! IT’s super delicious, tastes fresh, and not soggy at all! Plus it’s easier too 🙂
My biggest critics growing up were Women, so naturally it’s harder to love myself after the criticism from the adults in my life. Like when I lost A LOT of weight after having my gallbladder taken out, hello no fat diet 😆, my mom told me I needed to stop losing weight. 🙄 But, thanks to you I’ve really been able to work on this and love myself! It irritates me when men get no backlash for weight loss but women do. I will never understand why we bring each other down either. I would never drag a woman down, especially after what I’ve been through. I think your doing great, and being true to yourself! You go girl!
You definitely have to have zucchini noodles raw. Whatever sauce you put on top put it on very hot and mix with the noodles. It will soften the zucchini noodles just a bit, but they keep their firmness, have a bite, and are like 95% less watery. If you want it a little warmer and less raw pop in the microwave for literally like 15 to 20 seconds max. Perfect and not watery every time!
Hi Casey,
I just really wanted to say how much each of your posts hits home, especially with this 90 Day Journey. Not only have you really motivated me to do this for myself as well, but you’ve really helped me with the struggle between loving myself and still wanting to be more fit. When I was filling out my “Why”, I really had to think. I actually love my body most days (a huge difference from last year), but changing it by getting stronger is still kind of my “why”. When filling out my fitness goals, I do want to lose weight/body fat, but it’s really more than that. I want to stop using my weakness (or my not-being-quite-as-strongness which isn’t weakness, it’s potential for growth) as an excuse for why I can’t do things.
I LOVE to dance, and I’m nowhere good enough naturally to go pro, but if I could have I would’ve probably would’ve tried to pursue it. I always told myself that my lack of natural talent had to do with my stature and weight. I used to even blame not being able to do splits on having thick thighs (which makes 0 sense). I no longer believe this, but changing my image used to be my motivation and unhealthy drive. Now, I’m focused on my strength over my looks. I never want lack of strength to be my excuse. And thanks to you I can accept that my goals are healthy and right for me, even if it’s not the same for someone else. They are on their own journey, and I’m on mine. So, thank you <3
CASSEY*** I blame autocorrect 😓
Hi Cassey, Nowadays losing weight for women are like war to be a win, I share with people that if we used proper meal and do some exercise after taking the meal then automatically fat will burn out, Its a natural way of burning fat and also prepare a diet plan and note down daily by doing so you can calculate your per day calories and reduce your extra weight. Well, thanks for sharing such an informative article.
I just went through this website
http://bit.do/female-fat-loss-codes
it’s giving so much knowledge about how one woman discovered ” FAT LOSS CODE ” with videos, as well as articles and some articles, are little controversial!
Thanks
Linda,
Hey! This is my first time commenting on your blog, but I felt like I had to write what I think. I was always fluffy, I still am, and I am diabetic, type 1, which doesn’t really help me lose weight. But every time I open your calendar I am so happy! Sometimes I can only do 2 videos, but slowly I started progressing my way up. I think I am healthier than ever and you played a huge role in this and I really wanna thank you.
I guess maybe this could be like a positive ray of sunshine for you.
But you should never forget that for every 1 person that critics you there are 100 more that love you, hundreds of person that start their day with you. Thank you for all that you do and are.
Wow Cassey, I’ve been following you on IG for a while now and was very intriged when I learned about your 90 day challenge. I’ve been reading all your blogposts since day 1 and some of the comments. Ever since the start of your challenge I believe it’s a good, inspiring journey! You set up a goal for yourself. And though weight loss is a part of it, I completely understand that you can feel like you need to do this. I too feel that, after a period where life gets hectic and you focus on that part more than on your health, after a while you feel “bad”. You have less energy, you’re craving more food that doesn’t nourish your body and it becomes a cycle that you need to break. Though weight loss is part of breaking this cycle, I believe you choosing to work out more and choosing for food that you know your body needs is a healthy choice. Your body will get stronger and you will feel energized & alive and this feeling will reward you throughout and after this journey. I completely understand you need to do this for YOU! I feel so inspired, you make me want to step up my game too!
At the same time I feel so sad about all the criticism you’re getting. And even if you’re not an “influencer” (Sorry, I know you hate that word) I recognize the criticism. I too have a healthy BMI and choose to work out & cut carbs more (I completely indulge in the weekend though;) ) and people always question me. Why do I do it, I don’t need it etc. But I do it for ME, because I know I’ll feel better, stronger, healthier, energized and it makes me feel proud because there are easier options. It’s also sad that it is a gender thing. It’s a fact we, women, feel the pressure more to look a certain way. And I know seeing perfect bodies everywhere affects me too and I sometimes I need to say to myself: a “perfect body” (as it’s perceived by the media/hollywod) is not attainable. But the saddest thing is that women often are the harshest critics for their peers. The world would be a much better place if women would build each other up. I’m happy for you your community supports you through this. And I am grateful that you are as strong as you are to question the comments of the critics and be the voice that stands up for your own beliefs and I hope your voice will make it make sense to the people who aren’t understanding at this day.
Proud of where you’re at, mentally & physically! Looking forward to follow your challenge I hope you’ll smash all your goals because you work hard for it!
Best wishes,
Jill
I really got goosebumps reading this. You are so inspiring Cassey! I’m in the healthy weight range to and wanted to lean down for ages now. I always got discouraged by lots of people. Now I try to stick to it too. It’s so nice and motivating to read your blog everyday. Like having the diet buddy I always wanted. I wish you lots of love and strength.
Hello, Cassey.
I’ve been following all your posts from the 90 Day Challenge, and this one spoke to me the most.
You touched a subject that is very dear to me, kinda in the bad way.
I’ve always been chuby and it’s something that bothered me and still does.
I have an older brother and when he was in middle school, he gained some weight. Noone comented about it; noone cared. I, in the other end, was puched to nutricianists and endocrinologists to try to understand why I was unnable to lose weight ever since I was five years old.
And things just got worse when my brother was able to lose the weight he gained and some more in three months: I was called out on why I couldn’t be thin if my brother lost all that weight.
I was bullied in school by collegues and teachers, by family members and even strangers on the street that called me names, and the big majority were women. Once a lady came to me in the bus station and told me that I should be ashamed of getting out of the house because I was fat (I think I was 14 years old at the time). I’m not the steriotype “XL” woman that is round everywhere: I have a flat stomic but fat legs, and the fact that I’m 158cm (around 5’2) and large bone structure doesn’t help on my figure.
Going to family gatherings is impossible because my uncles and cousins have their eyes on me to see what I eat, but is a lose/lose situation: if I eat they tell me I’m too fat, if I don’t they say I have stuffed my face before going.
I eat right (and little) and I exercise regularly; I’m healthy! But since I’m big, I’m considerated a liar.
Women have had to prove their value over the course of history, but they’ve been critizised about everything. In today’s standarts, women have to be perfect and follow a certain imaginary list to be accepted. And that list is made by women: instead of joining forces, we’re dividing ourselves and getting weaker.
Thank you so much Cassey for the way you openly speak about these topics. I’m very proud of you to go against the critics and to do what you want. You are a big inspiration to me and many other people. Thank you so much and a big hug to you and give Sr George a kiss for me (by the way, he looks adorable with the new hait cut).
Zoodles- either eat raw or blanch in boiling water for 1-2 seconds or so then drain, this should still give a nice crunchy texture. Raw goes really well in poke bowls. 🙂
Cassey! After you “zoodle” the zucchini you need to “wring” out the moisture with a paper towel and not just pat them. Zucchini’s have LOTS of water. Hope it helps! 🙂
Society objectifies women and a woman’s value is determined by her perceived beauty. Men aren’t objectified in the same way therefore their sense of value is not affected. Men don’t struggle with appearance because their appearance is not constantly under scrutiny. We’re only now realizing the detriment that such a philosophy has on women , hence the body positivity movement. To some, your desire to lose body fat and become stronger is symbolic of the standard of beauty to which many women have been in bondage. It is the reason behind your journey that they do not understand. You are undertaking this journey BECAUSE you value yourself. It has nothing to do with wanting to look a certain way in order to feel valuable. Diet and exercise are still stumbling blocks to some. I will say this, you look great now! But again I understand that it is not about looks. It’s about your desire to become stronger, and that is admirable. Keep doing what you’re doing and don’t worry about the external chatter.
Dinner palette looks yummm and looks so special cos you had cooked with Sam 😍😀👍
I think that people were worried because (a) you’re a perfectly healthy weight and look as fit as a fiddle – abs does not equal fit, in my opinion and (b) you have previously discussed your disordered thinking around eating, and emphasis on numbers on a scale was probably raising major red flags to those who care about you. I don’t deny that sexism is very real. But you seem to have had major issues with weight, being a “chubby kid” and going to the other extreme as a fitness competitor. So it is unsurprising that it raised concerns – I’ve gone through various similar cycles myself. Whenever I talk about specific body fat percentages and weight goals, my husband just tells me to calm down and not obsess over something so superficial. He knows about my history, and he is encouraging me to have a healthy mindset above everything else. I’m probably similar to your body size, give or take a bit. It’s much more important to feel good and nourish your body as it needs.
I agree. I don’t think most of us mean to be negative, but 130 lbs is a good weight if you are 5’6. It’s not bad to want to be more toned, but I try to be as body positive as I can and I weigh more than her. I’m 5’4 and between 135-140.
It’s funny, because today I was shaving my legs after soooooooome time 🤣, and I wondered why I was doing it. I mean, I wasn’t gonna leave home unless it was for Pokémon go or get some logs from the backyard. I didn’t have a date either, I was not gonna see anyone today other than my mom and my cats (sounds sad, but honestly, I’m not always in the mood for people). And then it hit me that we, women, are taught from a very young age that we must be perfect, and struggling to be perfect means that you made it. You get crap for wanting to do something for yourself, but once the 90 days are over, the same people that put you down are gonna tell you how great you look and stuff like that. Honestly, that’s not fudging fair.
When I finished shaving my legs I realized who I was doing it for. It was all for me, because I love the soft feeling hahaha
Systemic oppression of women and their choices is the patriarchy at work and it is so instilled in so many facets of society and ingrained in the way so many people (men and women) think most of us don’t even stop to wonder if our line of thinking about any particular subject could use room for improvement. Men from boyhood are usually taught and encouraged to think they’re better than women, that they know more, can do more, and are generally entitled to anything. Even by their own mothers because of what they were taught by their own parents and they don’t even realize the perpetuation of the problematic line of thinking. (I obviously don’t mean every single man in the world but just in general.)
Think back to the scenario of a little boy pulling the ponytail of a little girl and the old adage “it just means the boy likes the girl”. Um, no. That boy is mean and if a girl is taught that she has to endure harassment or assault as ‘just a part of life’ or that those actions are equivalent to affection or love it is no wonder we haven’t progressed further with equal rights as much as we might have hoped we would these past few decades. Anyway I could go on and on but I think that part of the solution is easy. Fight back, stay true to yourself, call out hypocrisy and double standards and coach others on the importance of equality and how it is one of the keys to a better world. And I think you are doing just that. Rock on, Cassey!
Cassey! A small comment on the 90 fit journal. I miss the old versions with the beautiful drawings of different fit girls + inspirational quotes! I’m still buying this one but it seems a little plain compared to the BEAUTIFUL art from the last ones.
I know this was probably not to alienate your guy followers, but please consider bringing it back!
Thank you so much for all the kick ass and quality fitness videos!
It’s funny because they are suddenly considering u negative influence on the society because u want to sherd some extra fat which u gained in a year? 😑 Don’t worry #blogarmy is with u ❤
You are an inspiration to me. I am an author ( D.S.Pais ) and I write books. I follow the blogilates calendar between my writing.