What do you mean I can’t look like this all the time?

What do you mean I can’t look like this all the time?

REALITY CHECK.

UGH.

So yesterday I was working out with Kip, and I was telling him how great I feel and how happy I am with the results that we’ve achieved these past couple months. He paused. Then told me that he’s happy too but it can’t be like this year round.

I was flabbergasted. Huh? I said? What do you mean? I have to be in front of the YouTube camera and my fans already saw the transformation. You mean I’m gonna go back????

He said maybe you may go up 5, 10, 15 lbs, who knows. I almost died as I was doing my chest presses.

We had a really long conversation throughout my workout and I was brought to a realization that it isn’t actually natural to look like a bikini model all day long 365 days a year for the rest of your life. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t under the impression that everyone can look like a magazine cover year round, but I thought that once you lose weight, you can pretty much cruise and eat normal-healthy again, workout 5-6x a week, 1 hr a day and maintain. You know, not have to do cardio 2x a day and live in the gym and have no condiments.

Nope. Even me. A fitness guru and healthy living freak. I have been living in a little bit of a fantasy world…big reality check for me.

These past 2 months I’ve been eating extra clean and working out 2x a day. I’ve been dropping fat rapidly and it’s been so cool! The ride has been exhilarating – working hard- seeing results – working harder – seeing better results! Faster results! But how long can I actually keep doing this for? My bikini competition is this Saturday and I will look the tightest and leanest I have ever looked in my life. In fact the past month I have look the best I have ever looked in my life. So to think that after ALL of this hard work, I can’t just keep it???

It kills me.

It kills me to know that once you build something you can’t just relax and bask in all the glory. Well at least not for too long. Maintaining a body is like maintaining a business. You get there but you gotta keep it fresh to keep things looking good, keep the business flowing. Your body is smart. It knows how to find a balance. It doesn’t like losing weight all the time so it will become efficient and figure out how to keep fat around even when your workouts and diets are nuts. That’s why you gotta change your routine every 4 weeks. That’s why you gotta change up your diet, carb cycle…all that stuff…to keep challenging and surprising your body.

At the end of the day, it takes hard work to look like a fitness model. And you really can’t look like this all the time. I am so sad that these flat abs and those lean arms may go away if I don’t keep up this regimen. AHHHHH.

So anyway, I yelled at Kip. I said NOOOOOOO!!!!! I don’t wanna go back! I don’t wanna go back!!!!! I’ve worked too hard! Please no! You must help me!!!! He laughed and said you’re still young and have a long way to go, I don’t want you to hurt yourself. I kept telling him, please please I have to keep these abs. I’ve never had these abs before. Eventually our convo got a little ridic with me being all low carb, emotional, moody, and living in a fantasy land. So we just kept working out. But this topic stuck with me all night and day and I can’t get if off my mind.

Excuse me if I sounds like I’m a looks-obsessed little brat, but just expressing my feelings full blown. It’s not really about the abs or the arms or the body fat or the weight. It’s about all the hard work. I just…just…can’t imagine saying goodbye to the finished product after all that time, dedication, sweat, tears, and umm, money spent on this journey.

ARGH.

So how do some people do it? I am not sure actually. I do know that REAL fitness models have to eat strict all the time and when they have shoots they go SUPER strict. Even they go up and down but on a high level. They have to workout hours a day but it’s their job. And they make $ from it. Is it worth it for me to continue working out that many hours a day to maintain this look? Maybe if it were my job, I’d do it.If I were just a normal person, I don’t think I would. It really is a lot of work and I honestly feel like you need to get paid to put yourself through this!

Also, bikini and fitness competitors all have a competition weight and an off season weight. Everyone has one. Kip says we need to find mine too. It’s just not natural or safe to stay so low in body fat and weight all year round. He said that when he was competing he’d go up 20-30lbs in the off season and then just shed back down when it was time to hit the stage.

Of course we can all work hard once summer rolls around and look great in a bikini. SURE!!!! Do it! But to try to work crazy like that to look bikini ready even during the holidays? Thanksgiving? To miss out on social outings…not have dinner with friends…to not ever eat pizza or burgers or fries…or you know things that bring simple joy to people, yea I don’t know.

Also, I want to mention that the level at which I am training and eating is super vigorous. When I say I may not be able to keep this up year round, I mean eating super duper clean and doing cardio 2x a day 6 days a week plus weight training. Once the bikini competition is over, I plan to continue eating clean, just not crazy clean. I want my hot sauce again. I want it now. I want flavor. Please.

But no. 3 more days. 3 more days!!!!!

Ah, I don’t know if this post makes any sense at all! And I don’t have time to proof read it because I am gonna be late to training but ya here you go.

Takeaway?

You can look great and stay fit year round working out and eating clean. No prob. Flat stomach and toned arms are achievable and maintainable. You can strive for that yes. Super cut, ripped, defined, fitness model, bikini competitor look – takes work. You should be getting paid if you’re working that hard. Or maybe you really just love working out 3 hrs a day and eating plain food. It’s just not where your body was naturally meant to be if you want to do other things things with your time. I’m being real here!!!!! I live at the gym right now! I barely have time to do anything else.

OKAY! Time for YOUUUUUU to talk!!!! Tell me how you feel about this. How do you stay fit and have you achieved your dream body? Were you able to stay there? Or did you go back up? How did it feel?

141 thoughts on “What do you mean I can’t look like this all the time?”

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  1. Claire says:

    I’m going through a tough time right now- I have been in bikini competition shape and leanness year round for about a year and a half after having anorexia and dropping weight- I gained weight and muscle and got into amazing shape (where I am now) but I am not having my period though every other vital has returned. My estrogen levels are low and so my doctors told me I have to gain weight. Because I had anorexia at 14 and am now 16 I have never been above 106 lbs (5’1) and average 103-105. My doctor wants me at 110 to be able to menstruate. I know I need to think about health first, but I am scared because being so cut has become a huge part of my identity personally and at school. That line “wrongend of a before and after” really resonated with me.. I’m so nervous guys! I want to make sure that I keep my muscle and tone even though I have to gain weight. Tips, advice? Love you guys 🙂

  2. Lily says:

    Hey Cassey and everyone! I need your opinions
    I am 14 and have been doing 5x cardio workouts a week + blogilates ab workouts in the morning and i only have sugar like every fortnight. Am I’m going to crazy about all this? i mean i am only 14 should i stop worrying about everything so much? Am i committing myself too much at such a young age?
    I also feel that i can put on weight really quickly. For instance one night i might let myself have a treat such as an ice cream and the next day i am soooo bloated and the day after that it seems like i have another inch on my stomach!
    Also the skin right under my breasts is really lose and i haven’t been able to find any ab exercises that could help tighten that. Should i get weights? Will that make a change?
    Please somebody help me and give me some advice! I really need it! Thank you! xx

    1. Chelsea says:

      When I read your post it made meremember myself when I was 14 and compare it to how I am now. Worrying so much about workouts and dieting at such a young age can cause you to obsess about body image and weight for the rest of your life. While there is nothing wrong(in fact it’s good to) with cultivating healthy eating habits and an exercise routine at your age, you have to be VERY careful and analyze WHY you’re doing it and HOW it’s affecting you. Are you trying to be healthy or just be skinny and toned? What is your concept of what it looks like to be healthy? Will you be unhappy if you don’t look a certain way? Will you beat yourself up because of something you ate? Those are all things to think about. Also, exercising too much and eating too little fat at your age can cause serious hormonal and physical growth problems. I say all this because after working out and dieting like crazy at that age I developed an eating disorder that continues to affect me through health problems and body image issues. It has such a far-reaching impact…more than you’d think…so just be VERY careful sweetie. Learn to be happy with yourself and not just for your physical appearance.

    2. Vicki says:

      Please listen to Chelsea! That is great advice! And remember that the “fat” and occasional weight gain can also be part of the hormonal changes you are going through. You are still at an age where your body is developing into a woman’s body. Don’t be too hard on it. Exercise and be healthy because it feels good and it is worth it in the long run! Tell yourself you are beautiful, because you are.

    3. Bronwyn says:

      It’s true, take these ladies’ advice and relax a bit. I know you’re way too young to really be thinking about this, but remember that if you even remotely imagine yourself having children when you are an adult, you may not be able to if you are too harsh with your body now. Over exercising or eating too few calories or too little healthy fat can mess up your hormones for years. Be healthy and enjoy delicious healthy food and fun exercise, but please don’t overdo it.

    4. Judith says:

      Hey! I’m 14 too 🙂 From the experience I can say – RELAX! When I started “all this” I was 13 (Not that long time ago) and it was absolutely fantastic. I was loosing weight, exploring new foods. Until the New Body Makeover came. I opened the “Meal plan” and noticed that everything had written calories, carbs, protein etc. And I thought to myself “Hey, i should count calories too! “. Cause I wasn’t able to follow the plan, I still live with my parents. Then this turned into a nightmare. I started counting calories. “The less, the better” – this sentence ruled my mind. I wasn’t eating enough, cause obviously I wanted to lose weight. Calories in vs. Calories out. My calorie intake was anywhere around 800. Yes. I was sooo unhealthy. My mother noticed it too. And we often had fights over it. She would always watch what I eat, when I eat, how much I eat. It really did make me upset. But now I understand that she did it because she cares about me and my health. Right now I try to eat ~1200 since I learned more about food, nutrition, workouts. I still struggle with it. Sometimes I binge and then “exercise” the calories out. But I’m doing a great job. I dance every single day, except for weekends, I do blogilates ~30 mins each day. And I know that I need energy, I need food.
      why do I tell you this? Well, since we are at the same age, I don’t want you to go through the same. Even though it was for a short time but it was enough to burn me out. It’s hard to break a habit. Especially a bad habit. So do not even start!
      Just be healthy, eat clean food, allow yourself a treat once in a while, workout, but don’t go overboard. Don’t worry about the calories. Focus on the foods that you’re eating and know the portions. You should be good 🙂
      As for the lose skin, try more challenging workouts. Try something you’ve never tried before 🙂 I really don’t know. It also depends what kind of lose skin is that. Is it because you’ve lost a lot of weight? If so, do not really worry about it. Since you are a kid/teenager, and you’re still young, the skin will contrast and shrink ž. At least it should. 🙂

  3. Giorgia says:

    Hi Cassie,
    I’ve only just turned 14 and and have needed to keep my fitness up so I am only doing your workouts on your monthly calender and i am wanting to keep doing this throughout the whole year. I am eating like I normally did but I’m trying not to cut down a little bit more on the sweets.
    Do u think if I maintain my daily exursises (the monthly calender workouts) I’ll stay in shape and keep healthy? Do u think I’m over working out for my age?
    Thx 🙂

  4. Taylor says:

    Hey Cassey! I know this is late, but I became a fan shorty after this last year, so I missed a lot of your posts. Now, I’m embarking on a journey through ALL of your blog posts! I’ve watched your journey all in one short time span (two weeks so far of reading) and I have to say that you’ve come a long way. I book marked all of your videos that I haven’t done before, and I think I’ve done them all now. I’ve seen you at your normal weight and now your bikini weight! While your bikini body is amazing, I think I like normal Cassey better! You’ve never looked unhealthy to me and I’ve always been an admirer of your ab, arm and leg strength. It’s so impressive, and you don’t need to look skinny to do it! You’re my fitness inspiration when you’re training normally and posting workout videos for us, and while this is so cool, I just wanted to take the time to say that because I remember your post “ashamed of gaining weight.” And you shouldn’t be ashamed because you look healthy and you’re happy an you’re so strong! So I’m a little late on both of those actually but I just wanted to take the time to say that. I love watching you and doing your videos and I wasn’t kidding when I said you’re my fitness inspiration! Thanks for everything you do for us POPsters, because I’ve seen it all and I know how much you put in. You’re awesome 🙂

  5. Tiffany says:

    To be completely honest with you, Cassey, I think you look better normally. “Fitness Model Cassey” is just waaay too thin. You look amazing AND HEALTHY usually. So I’m going to use regulary Cassey as my fitness model, k? 🙂

  6. Malia Morse says:

    This is awesome! I’m training for my first show this summer and I’m LOVING the results I’m getting. I’ve thought about this time to time too… I’m 17 weeks out right now and I’m so excited about where I’ll be THEN if I’m this excited about my results NOW! I can’t imagine getting in the best shape of my life then having to let myself go up 10ish lbs (I don’t want to go more than 10 haha but we’ll have to see). BUT I am looking forward to being able to say YES to a vacation for after my show (it’s going to be in Miami so I’ll be in the perfect post-show vacation spot 🙂 ) It’s good to know I’m not alone in this panic of wanting to keep my (future) near-perfect body. It’s also good to know, though, that when I do get to my off-season weight, I’ll still probably be in better shape than 90% of my life.

  7. Chantel says:

    Absolutely great! Loved this! Stumbled acrossed it and glad I did. Being a figure competitor and having to drop my carbs down to almost non existant in the final weeks to see that shredded ab look, I know exactly what you are talking about. I am 5’2 and off season 115-120 and comp weight being 108-110, there is definitely a difference! Thank you for the realistic approach and honesty. I miss my abs, wish some of my bought jeans still fit during preps, but balance is everything and finding it is the hardest thing I have ever had to do! You can eat clean and consistantly, but bringing your body to that point, doing over 4,000 cals of cardio a week, will always have comebacks like such and honestly, I wouldn’t want to maintain. It is exhausting (prep). We are not meant to have such low body fat or push ourselves like that day in and day out. Wish more athletes and competitors would show that side! Again, thanks for the article! Great read! 🙂

  8. alex says:

    Ive found that my weight fluctuates between 124lbs to 129lbs but I never go below or above that, I am 5ft 5 and I have been maintaining that weight for a couple of months now easily by doing pilates 4-5x a week and cardio 3x a week

  9. Jenna says:

    Cassey, I hope that YOU know you’re beautiful. I mean clearly all of your popsters know it. You were beautiful before your modeling gig, and during and after. You are a beautiful person inside and out and you have inspired me and so many others to make peace with ourselves and our bodies and to change what we dont like, instead of just complaining about it. No matter how much you gain after the modeling competition, know that you are beautiful. 2 years ago, I lost 15 lbs. and i was at the smallest i have been since 5th grade (im in h.s. now) in like 2 months of summer, I did this just from walking everyday 5 days a week for like an hour or more and swimming a lot! plus eating healthy and i think i cut out fast food and stuff. I was almost a size 2. Now i have gained it all back because i stopped working out once school started back up and im a steady size 6. I feel really bad about myself a lot of the times and am very self conscious. i wouldnt say im huge. but i feel huge and i just wanna feel like i did when i only weighed 145lbs because for me, that was little. for me that was skinny and i loved it and i was confident. The good thing is, school’s coming to an end and this summer no matter how busy i am, i will work out at least 5 days a week and right now im cutting out pop and fast food for good! and limiting sweets and portion sizes. Im trying to stick to this goal but i binge a lot…i just have a sweet tooth and it sucks! haha i dunno i love your videos tho and you truly inspire me and make working out fun. My goal right now it to lose at least the 15lbs that i did, and try to get to a size 4 again (almost a 2) and then hopefully try to lose 20 lbs. mostly, i just wanna be healthy and feel confident. and be able to fit into my shorts.thank you for your videos(especially abs and butt vids) you really have helped me! :):)

    1. jemima says:

      Agreed! Cassey is beautiful inside and out! She inspired me and i love this blog!

  10. Brianna says:

    Hi! While it isn’t healthy to look “cover ready” all the time, you can certainly still look great. I suggest not giving up the weight training. I think pilates plus weight training is a good combo!

    I actually recommend you visit the site of this online trainer. He is amazing and has an uber long waiting list. He does things differently from your trainer.. no to little cardio for example. Look at his facebook page too for the before/after pictures. His clients do NOT have a huge rebound gain after competitions.

    I really hope you read this post!

    http://leanbodiesconsulting.com/ and https://www.facebook.com/LBCOnlineCoaching

    1. blogilates says:

      thanks, how did u hear about him?

  11. April says:

    You’ll do great!! And you probably know this, but please be careful not to end up in a binge cycle! I’ve heard so many stories of people going straight for junk food after competition and it’s really tough, mentally, to recover. You are an inspiration and role model to all of us :)) Keep your mind healthy most of all!

  12. S says:

    Cassey, I think you look incredible, I really do. I’m quite slim myself and I do want to get a bit leaner. But at the moment I’m struggling, I don’t want to get too carried away because I did suffer from EDNOS, mostly bulimia. It doesn’t take a lot to trigger me so I’m staying away from a lot of your posts about getting skinnier than you are already. I’m not saying your posts are promoting EDs at all – I know you wouldn’t do that – I’m just saying that, at the moment, I’m quite weak when it comes to this, so it’s my fault.
    My problem with this post is that, if you’re at a weight you cannot physically sustain in a normal way, surely it cannot be a healthy thing to do? Everyone has their ideal weight and if you can’t maintain this weight, even with your normal clean diet and rigorous exercise, surely it isn’t healthy? I know it’s for a competition, I just think you will be disappointed when you go back to how you used to look, even though you looked amazing. You’ve said in posts that you feel so low and can’t do a proper workout with this carb depletion, is this really something you should be promoting? I really appreciate your honesty, it’s just scary to know that someone who is supposed to be so obsessed with being ‘healthy’ is putting their body through something unnatural for the sake of a competition. I’m sorry for how horrible this post is and I do genuinely think you look amazing, I just don’t think it’s normal, especially the photo you just posted on facebook of you in the bikini before you’re going on stage with your ribcage showing. That’s the sort of picture I idolised when I was in the deepest, darkest grips of my ED.
    Cassey, I’ve followed your videos for a long time now and I honestly believe you looked better before. Don’t get me wrong, if someone is naturally that thin, there is nothing wrong with it. I just think you are, unintentionally, sending the wrong message and I’m sorry.

  13. Otilia says:

    Hello my dear Cassey,
    I have been reading your blog for a short time but i know you from youtube since about a year ago when i was pretty bored with my exercise routine and i wanted to try something new and efficient. I have tried several other trainers but once i discovered you, i realized how fun working out can be and i stopped watching the clock while exercising. I love your possitive attitude, i trully hope that’s how you really are 🙂 ( what am i saying.. i’m pretty sure that’s the way you truly are). I cannot say i have lost my extra weight with you, i was already in a good shape when i started doing your exercies but it has toned my body so wonderful like no other routines have done it. I did a lot of aerobic in college but i have stopped for a few years for not finding the time for it anymore. At the age of 26 i found myself weighting with 15 pounds more than my ideal weight. I have lost them quite quickly, in 6 weeks only, with strict diet and 5 times a week exercising, ending up being 112 pounds at 5’6”, and i never gained them back in 2 years, without fluctuations, without a strict diet, eating at any hour but working out 3 times a week and being quite a busy person.
    About looking like a model 365 days a year well.. Some people can do it, i have friends who look the same the whole year, and also very quickly after giving birth, thanks to their genes. I suppose it’s not impossible.
    Anyway, i wanted to thank you for making me love exercising and i hope you win the contest. Good luck!
    ps: i am sorry if ive made any grammar mistakes, english is not my first language and i’m not using it too often.

  14. Kristine S. says:

    Hi Cassey! <3

    I kind of went through these emotions when I lost my toned legs I've worked so hard for. I would jog/run and do leg workouts 5 times a week and my diet was clean. I took so much pride in the transformation and I admit..I did like receiving compliments because it reinforced the hard work and dedication I've put into having toned legs. But once I started the nursing program, my toned legs were out the window. I felt like I lost in touch with myself. I hated how my thighs turned into water-jugs. In addition to that, cellulite started appearing on my hind-legs. I was utterly disgusted. But then I came to the self-realization that it is nearly impossible to keep the same routine all year round. Now I've learned to take pride in keeping up with an exercise routine that is doable (pilates/jogging/weight lifting 2-3 times a week) and I've learned to accept/love my body for what it is and not what it ought to be.

    I really enjoyed reading your post because I felt like I really connected with you in terms of the emotions that you felt. I hope you know that you are BEAUTIFUL, regardless if you are super toned or not. You have inspired people everywhere to exercise. I love your enthusiasm for being healthy and fit!

    P.S. I agree with you when you said "It doesn’t like losing weight all the time so it will become efficient and figure out how to keep fat around even when your workouts and diets are nuts," because I saw an article about Mila Kunis regarding her weight loss for the movie Black Swan. She said "‘My shape is different. When I got down to 95 pounds, I was muscles, like a little brick house, but skin and bones. When I gained it back, it went to completely different areas." http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2110543/Mila-Kunis-speaks-drastic-Black-Swan-weight-loss-poses-sweet-photo-shoot.html

  15. I couldn’t have said it any better myself. Even after reaching goal, you have to keep it up, and I learned that the hard way after losing 80lbs and then letting myself indulge over the holidays. After overindulging and not eating perfectly clean like I was, my clothes are feeling snug and I am so upset with myself and even less motivated to get back on track. Losing and maintaining weight is exactly like a business. Thank you for putting it in perspective that it’s not just me, but everyone who has to keep up their clean eating and fitness to stay in tip top shape! xo

  16. Clare Pellerin says:

    Dear Cassey,

    Thank you for your hard work, your positive attitude, and your willingness to discuss your fears in public! Thank you for sharing so many tips and workouts – I will be trying some of your moves for sure, and your diet suggestions are spot on, although there’s little prospect of my becoming a bikini-model. 😉 Beauty has always been and will always be valuable, but it’s true it doesn’t BELONG to us. As all things, it arises and passes away. To be fit is intelligent, and getting/staying fit can be fun, but it can also be harrowing, as many people, including you, have discovered.

    In the past, people had other sufferings – often they didn’t have enough to eat, even. Today, our fears and anxieties play themselves out in the area of our looks especially, and this is more and more true all around the world. On the upside, you are an intrinsically good-looking person, so your “ideal” image will never be too far away (well, maybe when you’re 80) :). Many people are not so lucky. On the downside, your friend is right: EVERYTHING CHANGES! This is upsetting. It is even more upsetting when it concerns people we love passing away, or tragedies that invariably come up in our lives.

    That said, experiences are relative, so our worries can constitute “tragedies,” and this worry you express is pretty much universal – you are asking: “Why can’t I look like this all the time?” but someone else might ask “Why can’t I ever look like that” or “Why will I never be able to look like that after my accident/disease?” etc. The fact is the body deteriorates and passes away – old age and death bring great suffering, only part of which is the pain of losing youth’s beauty. There are other pains to accompany that one, from what I hear.

    If you were ever in a position to go 10 days without serious workouts, I would highly recommend trying a Vipassana meditation camp – these are given all around the world, they are offered to people of all denominations, and they are designed to help us deal with these exact types of questions – why, ultimately, can’t I have what I want? I have never learned so much about my own mind and body as in those meditation camps, and they have offered me so many tools to help deal with life’s issues. You would have to give up 10 days of workouts, though. (I have to give up 10 days of practicing violin, my discipline at the moment.)

    It’s difficult to find the TIME to go to meditation camp, but it is SOOO WORTH IT! Camp itself is harder than any workout, and the results are even better than endorphins, better than hot sauce, better than playing really beautiful music, and yep, ultimately even better than sex. (Also, more PERMANENT.) 🙂 It’s good to plan to go right AFTER a big concert/ audition/ competition (for obvious reasons).

    http://www.dhamma.org/

  17. Sophie says:

    This is all common sense. You should already know this from your “first” bikini body last year. Once you’re off the strict meal plan and start to eat “regularly clean” you will not look as lean or have those defined muscles anymore. So, what are you freaking out about? A lot of people here complimented on your honest post, but this post seems pretty naive to me. Hopefully once the competition is over, you will be able to go back and make your usual 10-min workout video and blog about healthy living, instead of being frustrated about not putting condiments and hot sauce on your food. Live healthy and be happy. I’m sure your next post will be about how depressed you are when you start to lose your “bikini” body after the competition. Good luck!

  18. Jenny O. says:

    Take it from someone who’s on the after side of what you’re doing now. I got carried away and kept up the high level of cardio I had achieved and ran myself right into the ground with a massive hip injury. I tore my Labrum and had to have a special surgery only 3 other people my age have had in the US. Not fun. I was couch bound for a month and on crutches for 2. They took 2.5 inches off my hip where it connects with my femur and I couldn’t run for 6 months.

    Take them time off you need and recharge. Then go back stronger than ever. You are a beautiful girl and look great whether you are at elite bikini level or with a few lbs extra on you. A lifetime of commitment to healthy exercise is much better than a spree of it that is short lived. I would also love to see someone on the internet do it better than me and really be a true inspiration to their readers. I think it may help you that there are a lot of people who look up to you and if you can show them the proper way to turn down the engines after and then boot them back up again, they will have learned a lot.

    Also burning the fat fires constantly will lead to an unhealthy outlook on eating and exercise. I don’t know anything about your outlook on food and exercise right now other than what you post, but this path isn’t meant to be continued down constantly and will lead to eating disorders or exercise obsession.

    Be safe and keep up the good work! In and out of the gym. Oh, and when you have extra time on your hands after your competition upload some more videos and DIY clothing stuff. You’re great at a lot of different things you try and it’s fun to see them.

  19. Laurel says:

    This reminds me of the realization I came to after losing 125 pounds to get to my goal weight. I had the same “ahhh, I’m here! now I just eat healthy, keep working out and it all falls into place. I’ve arrived and the journey is over!” Whoa, is that wrong! Weight loss and fitness are NOT a destination but a continual journey through mountain top highs (like you are experiencing right now), rambling walks through the countryside (day to day living life fairly easily and balanced) and unfortunately, dark valleys that are hard to see your way out of (tough emotional situations, injuries, loss of motivation, season of temptation like holidays). You just have to decided to take each day as it comes and decide what your priority is:
    – am I training for an event?
    – do I want to relax and enjoy social situations that may take me away from strict eating/workout but have big rewards for my emotional well being and relationships?
    – am I recovering from illness or injury and need to be ok with a weight/size change and allow myself to heal?
    – am I happy and fulfilled with the diet and fitness I’m trying to hold myself to?
    – am I alienating friends and family or can I balance my eating and fitness with a healthy (emotional, mental, physical) lifestyle?

    It is *really* hard to find the balance. I think that is the toughest thing to comprehend about being at my goal weight… the scale and my fitness level fluctuates and that’s ok because that’s how it is for everyone. I never knew that before. I just assumed fit people were at the same level of fitness all the time.

    I just had my first “off season” after getting into triathlons a year ago and competing in 3 over the summer. it has been a huge learning experience with lots of highs and lows over the winter months but I think what we learn in our fitness journey can be applied to other areas of life to make us a better person all around… as a daughter, sister, wife, mother, co-worker, friend and general good citizen.

    Best wishes on your competition and keep in mind, no matter what the outcome you have already “won” by participating in the journey and encouraging the hundreds of people who are inspired by you and are cheering you on. 🙂

  20. amy q says:

    even now, you have boobs. youre so lucky. and before, you had boobs, a cute butt, and an amazing FLAT tummy. i love how you looked before and i do admit you also look great now. but i know this sounds cheesy but, looks don’t last… they’re fun to attain and stuff, but they don’t last. health does. a healthy lifestyle does. love does <3 we love you cassey, no matter how lean you are!

  21. Take comfort in knowing you can get back to that body in just a matter of a few short weeks. My competition weight is 120. My “real life” weight is 130. I’ll take a little extra padding to be able to enjoy nights out with friends, dinners with the bf and a freaking cookie every once in a while. And fitness models know how to lean out easily.. you could too girl. It’s not good for our bodies to be that dialed in year ’round.. not even for models!

  22. Dorothy says:

    Accept that there is more than one kind of beauty.

  23. Heidi Kreusel says:

    OMG! I do NOT like that reality! It’s so true though. 🙁
    I am not fat (5’9″ 132 lbs.), i do cardio & your pilates videos 😉 😉 but I can’t seem to EVER keep a flat tummy for very long! I get jealous looking at girls my age (22) that do. How?!?! A lot of them don’t even work out… wtf?! Are they starving?! GOSH! I eat pretty healthy but after 4 days of eating a strict diet i go hot wing & beer crazy and enjoy it! Are these girls missing out on pleasures like this?! Do I have bad self control??? 🙁 I keep repeating “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels” and then I take a bite of cheesecake & I’m in heaven until the slice is gone & wondering why I can never trim into the body of my dreams! haha. I’m also scared to cut my calories too much b/c I don’t want to hurt my metabolism.

  24. LindseyW says:

    Cassey- thank you for posting about this! I am still working on my dream body. I know realistically I won’t be Elle Mcphereson because my body is not designed that way, but a girl can dream and work to get as close as possible. I hope you find a balance after the competition and are happy and go back to enjoying a few little indulgences. I loved you before, you were look like a real person we all can relate to, and I know the person you look like now is the same girl. Bikini ready or not, we love you! Good luck on Saturday 🙂

  25. Ashley says:

    cassie, you have always looked great, even before you started this journey for the competition! you have always been inspiring in terms of physical appearance AND your spirit!!

  26. Ellie says:

    I wish people would realise you were doing this for a competition – some of these posters seem to think this is you whole life!
    You looked AWESOME before all this anyway, I would’ve refused to wear anything BUT bikinis if I’d had your pre-comp body!

    I think this is good to learn though, I started working out because I wanted to lose weight but in the process I’ve discovered that numbers don’t matter! I know I’ve lost a few inches and toned up more, but I feel so much better about my body now and that’s the main thing. I don’t weigh myself anymore either, I figure if my clothes still fit I don’t care what the scales say.
    This year might even be the first time I wear a bikini in 5 years!

  27. Tabi says:

    I did achieve my dream body about 2 yrs ago, after having my 2nd son & going up to a size 12, the biggest I’d ever been, I got my butt in gear & ate very well & worked out 5-6 days a week and after several months I was down to 135lbs and a size 4 dress. During this time I became very active & started playing sports with the family, which was grea, except I injured my knee. After recovering from it I was still in couch potato mode & the pounds started to pile on again landing me in a size 10. Now after much self pity I’ve gotten back into the healthy mindset and am currently in a size 6 & 15lbs away from my goal weight & I’m feeling awesome about the progress I’m making!! Thank you for having such a great community in which to receive support & meal/exercise plans, it really has helped me to get refocused!!!!

  28. kate says:

    CASSEY stop it!! You are making it sound like as soon as the competition is over, you are going to turn into a whale at the stroke of midnight. POOF.. a muffin top!
    As you have mentioned neither the low body fat, or the lifestyle, are sustainable for the longterm. I know that you look and feel your personal absolute best at this point, and that is AWESOME, but to a lot of people you looked pretty damn great before all of this training began. Girls all over the world idolize you and work out hard and eat clean and follow your advice to look like you- they did before the competition and will after. You will find a balance, where you can still have great abs and enviable muscle tone and a tiny little waist, but also enjoy life and food without feeling deprived. Instead of preemitively mouring the loss of your perfect abs- think of the amazing things that you have accomplished, and look forward to allowing the things that you have missed back into your life- the hot sause, the carbs, maybe even a little cheesecake?? Everything in moderation and balance, and you will not lose all of your hard work.

  29. Marqi says:

    I know everyone and their dog has already said pretty much everything I’m going to say, but whatever man! Also I definitely think Cassey should go for the Cheetah bikini. Hands down. HANDS DOWN. Anyway, I pretty much have the best body I’ve ever had now and I’ve found it’s fairly easy to maintain it. I got into running and pilates last October when my aunt suddenly made me sign up to do the Las Vegas Ragnar with her. I had never run before and I was terrified. I also only had 3 weeks to train. 3 weeks. To train, I ran 2-3 a day 5 days a week and did pilates on the other 2 days. I lost only about 5 pounds by the time the Ragnar rolled around (BTW: IT WAS SO MUCH FUN:)) but I decided that I wanted to keep running after the race. I cut down my running to about 3 days a week for about 30 min a day, and did some awesome POP pilates 3 other days I wasn’t running. I’ve never seen results so amazing before. I dropped 20 pounds by December. 20 POUNDS! I wasn’t even doing anything crazy except being more active and eating a bit cleaner ( I stopped scarfing ice cream and popcorn everyday). Sometimes it’s been difficult keeping up my schedule since I’m a super busy college kid. I work and go to class all day, then come home and do homework. I also have to keep up my social life (Obviously) which is why I decided to keep my routine simple. I only work out about 30 minutes a day, and still have time for everything else I have to do. I now keep myself at a perfect weight for my body type. I’m 5’3″ and weigh a great 115. I feel great about myself and have way more energy than when I weight 135 just last semester… weird how that works. ha ha Thanks for the inspiration Cassie!

  30. Jenna says:

    Hi Cassey,

    The reality of this situation sucks. You work so so so so SO hard to get to this state, and because its not maintainable (or even healthy to maintain), you are likely going to gain a little of the weight back once the competition is over. But that’s ok! Look how far you have come and look at all that amazing determination and willpower you have! It proves that you can do ANYTHING you set your mind to 🙂 Take comfort in that. And remember life is too short; we should enjoy ALL aspects of life; fitness alone cannot make for a complete life 🙂

    Enjoy your bikini body! You now know all the work it takes to get there, so you will appreciate it even more. And I don’t know about you, but even though I work hard all year to keep myself fit, happy and healthy, if a “little” extra weight creeps up over the holidays, I do my best to not let it get to me. Once spring and summer hit, I look forward to pushing myself again to get back to a leaner, tighter and more toned me 🙂 Keep that positivity up and be proud of your efforts but don’t let it ruin the rest of your life. You have too much else to live for.

    And GO WITH THE CHEETAH bikini! It screams sassy and sexy and it’s so much fun! It shows off your fun, bubbly personality and if I was a judge, you would definitely catch my attention 🙂

    PS – You look beautiful now, but you also looked beautiful before! Remember that too!

  31. Alex says:

    Hey! I know you wrote this post to expess your frustration that you won’t be able to keep what you’ve achieved (which is amazing by the way), but I actually LOVE that someone has drawn attention to the fact that people can’t maintain something like this with a normal schedule. All these photos are shared around the internet as inspiration, and people look at them believing that they can get the same results at home, but the photos don’t show the intense amount of work that goes into staying that way. This really made me realise that it’s not as simple as it looks.

    You look really great, but life is about more than beasting it in the gym all the time. I think you should be SO proud of what you’ve done, but don’t kill yourself over maintaining it – life’s too short! Plus I think it makes you far more real and relatable as a blogger to have a life outside of keeping fit too. Sending so many good luck vibes your way for the comp though 🙂

  32. It seriously DOES suck. In fact, it’s almost depressing that you can put SO much time and effort into achieving a fitness goal, only to discover that the only wait to maintain it is to maintain the pace you’ve been going too.

    I’m REALLY glad you posted this and that you were so honest about how it makes you feel. I think a lot of us get caught in this trap and it’s refreshing to hear the same fears, concerns and realities echoed by someone you look up to.

  33. Callie says:

    Hey Cassie!
    First of all, CONGRATS! You truly look incredible and all of your hard work completely shines through.
    I used to think the same way you did. “Once I get my perfect body, I’ll get to keep it for the rest of my life, and I’ll finally be happy with myself!” Umm, so wrong. Happiness should not constituted by looks at all.
    Beauty fades. When I am 80 years old, I’m not going to care what I look like at all! That doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t care now, but it also should not be the only thing to care about.
    Yes, you worked incredibly hard for your current figure. And you’ve got photos, fans, comments, and a fun bikini competition to remember it by. But I hope that everyone remembers to love LIFE, for how short and amazing it is.

  34. Claire says:

    Hey Cassey… why do you worry. You can stay in the middle version of your this body and previous body. Maybe you could continue eating super duper clean and do some cheats once a week. Maybe go to the gym once a day and workout 30 minutes extra on ur previous regime. & whenever you want to go back to this body, you would just need to go to the gym 2x. Dont worry girl. Health is more important. If you are healthy, you can achieve you dream weight and body anytime:]

  35. Livia says:

    HAPPINESS can’t be year round either Cassey!!! But people still want to find the ways to experience it everytime they could in life…right???? Fitness is not an exception…..You worked hard, proved YOURSELF the potential of your body and had wonderful moments that nobody can’t take away from you(and by the way so gorgeous pictures,haha) . The main purposes to do something is not the “forever goal” simply people do and want to do things to create experiences and feelings . Reading about your journey it seems you had a wonderful time….That’s life Cassey …so I want to say congratulations to you for your hard work, your sharing and your inspiration…and those things are not “vain” at all girl….

  36. Laura says:

    I think what your trainer said is really just common sense. I have achieved my dream body last summer, but university and life in general got the best of me and I had come back to training just one hour a day and I gained about 5 pounds. And ever since I’ve been losing and gaining these 5 pounds according to how stressful my life was and how much time I had to focus on working out and eating super clean. It took me a while – I actually freaked out really bad when I saw I was gaining – but I realized it’s ok and it’s normal and it’s probably also healthy to not add in another stress when life gives me enough as it is. In those days I just eat as clean as I can (I’m pretty used to clean eating by now so I don’t consider it an effort) and I also do my best to do one our of exercise a day because besides having great effects on my body it also helps me relax.
    Anyway I do believe you can’t maintain the body and the diet of a fitness model all year. You just need breaks from time to time. In any field not just nutrition & fitness. Take university for example: you study super hard when you have the exams but you do allow yourself some time away from the books during the rest of the year. You still go to class and read a bit from time to time to keep up. But you don’t dedicate it that much time as you do when you have exams. At least that’s the way I see it and for me it’s a good philosophy and it helps me maintain a healthy goal with my fitness and my body and not freak out every time I see an extra pound on the scale 🙂

  37. Janine says:

    A dream body is a dream. Period. If it was easy to achieve this and everybody was thin, people would get crazy about getting fat.

    I would not suggest to remain this lifestyle if you ever want to have children. Some models with very low bodyfat% have gone into menopause with 30 or under !!!!!!

  38. Katarina says:

    First of all – you look absolutely gorgeous in your photos!
    Second – you looked amazing before! I only started doing your videos because you had such an amazing body and I strive for that!!
    Just wanted to wish you the best of luck for May 5th!! I know you’ll do amazing!! You’re looking so toned and lean – ah I’m jealous! GOOD LUCK! xx

  39. Kaiti says:

    Cassey, first off, I loved this post. Seriously, I think it’s something that SO many of us that love fitness can relate to and I totally understand your frustration. Thank you for being so honest !
    That being said try not to worry about “going back” to your old body because first off all, your “old” body was AMAZING and second of all now that you know what it takes to be where you’re at now, you aren’t just going to pile on the pounds. As long as you stick to working out and eating clean I highly doubt you will gain that much – And still be able to go out to eat with friends and have CARBS, which is a much better and more sustainable way to live. Anyway, you are an inspiration to so many girls, Thank you and GOOD LUCK on Saturday!

  40. Hellen says:

    Sure you look amazing but after a while maintaing a body like this becomes a tiresome obsession, soon enough your body will get jack, you will binge and then become obsessed with losing it again. It’s a consuming cycle, and for what? to look hot in a bikini?

    There is SO much more to life than chicken breasts and gyms

  41. Sophie says:

    Good news for you is that you looked completely perfect before you got to this shape (now you look like a supermodel which is also of course really beautiful) . You shouldn’t be sad about going back to your shape before, because you were still so healthy and fit (and thin!) before, and your body didn’t need to change at all. You just proved to yourself you could do something so extreme, you were strong enough to achieve a body like that, you had it in you…. The biggest change for you in my opinion will be mental. What you’re doing takes guts and it can’t be easy…. The body that came with it for a while is just another advantage, but the mental achievement’s gonna last forever.

  42. Justine says:

    ( that sounded mean! of coarse you are still gorgeous

  43. Justine says:

    But your face was a lot prettier before, you look too gaunt

  44. jenny says:

    wow, that really sucks. I’ve been trying to get abs since december, and after march 18th (my goal date) I got kind of lazy. Needless to say, I gained weight…like, a lot of it too…. about 5 pounds. I just didn’t work out as much, and I gained so much weight! It didn’t make sense because before that, I was living such a healthy lifestyle, and I weighed 92 pounds… then september rolled in, and I gained a few. I was determined to lose those extra 3 pounds, and now I’m 7 pounds heavier. (no it’s not unhealthy because I’m really short, and a bit young… Asian girls scientifically have a lower bmi, so although it seems unusual to be so light, that’s actually just an average weight. Although we do have more body fat than everyone else…) Now I have abs – ish (2 pack! lol or sometimes 4) but only when I flex, or after I workout. I don’t do cardio, so my pouch is growing. It is, legit, growing… since march. It really kills me… It does.

    1. jenny says:

      an UNHEALTHY LIFESTYLE! ******* I was sooooooooooo unhealthy. I thought you were supposed to have 2000 calories a day. lol, on a typical day, I probably had maybe over 2000? I never exercised either…

  45. Erin says:

    Truth!! Thank you so much for this post Cassey – I’ve been there, and you are right, the effort is very hard to maintain long term. The bit about being emotional and moody too – that comes with the territory. It’s awesome to be super fit, but the manic focus comes with it’s own baggage. Thanks 🙂

  46. PetitPlat says:

    Hahaha! Sorry but you’re kinda cute ^^
    Obviously you can’t keep that body, it’s too much hard work. And changing your diet so your body doesn’t understand? That’s a little too much going against the natural way, don’t you think?
    A body isn’t meant to be that lean for some reasons.

    Of course, I’m so not a fitness junky, I’m more a food junky. I basically do 30 minutes of pop-pilates every morning and 15 minutes of yoga every evening so I can eat how I please (mind you I love fruits and veggies and am not too keen on fat stuff so I have a rather healthy diet – not what you would call clean, but balanced – I won’t stop pasta. Ever.)

    Anyway! Cassey, I understand that it’s hard to realize you’re going to loose this perfectly shaped body, but frankly speaking I prefer your old one. This one is just a tat too lean for my taste and somehow I don’t know, just unreal. (not sure if you get me) It’s like looking at a model. You think oooh gorgeous, but then you also think it’s not like a human body usually looks like.

    Anyway! Cassey, don’t be afraid to go back. The goal is to be healthy, and working out so much plus the extreme diets are not healthy on the long run. And I’m pretty sure your coach told you that already.

    And if you feel like whining, the blog is here for you 😀
    That being said, I have 30 minutes of workout waiting!

    Stéphanie

  47. Sarah says:

    Cassey, your posts are food for the fitness lover’s soul.
    I love them. Thank you for sharing.

  48. sarah says:

    I feel your pain. About four years ago i was really lean in great shape and loving it. But everyone said i was way to thin, and really i was a bit thin.but i really miss that body. I am a young mother with three little girls and i strive to teach them positive body image and a love for fitness. Since i found your workouts in jan i have lost 20lbs and am in really good shape again, i am proud of my work and my daughters and i enjoy doing your videos together. I miss my super stealthy. Former self, but the new healthy me is a much nicer person, and i am taking pride in my curves, it is nice to not be bored straight and still a size four 🙂

  49. Amy says:

    im sure it is somewhat frustrating to realize that that weight isn’t realistic year round…but you’re in such great shape that you’ll definitely be at a weight you can maintain and be proud of. i think its so awesome what you’re doing-so much discipline! can’t wait to see what happens saturday!!

  50. Melissa says:

    Cassey, I love love LOVE how you’re so honest in your blog. Thank you for sharing this.

  51. Courtney says:

    I know what you mean, I was in the best shape of my life before I PRed in my 2nd marathon…I felt the same way that I couldnt keep up, running “casual” 15 milers. But alas, it makes it that much more of an accomplishment…its impressive because it is NOT something you can do everyday, or even every year. I dont know about bikini modeling, but I know with marathoning I think, I’m doing something that only 1% of the population will ever accomplish, hopefully you feel that way too…

    and then, I do hope you go back to normal so we can get back to you tube videos I can relate with! 🙂

    good luck, and hope to see typical-crazy fit and crazy motivating cassey soon with a big accomplishment behind her, and I’m sure more to come.

    ps…i need you to get back to reminding me to ‘tuck in your belly button’ during workouts instead of talk of tanning, lady!

  52. Stephanie says:

    Hi Cassey,

    Let me start by saying I was bummed I didn’t get to meet you when you did your POP class in at the Mosman LJ store earlier this year. I was the 2IC at the Lorna 20 minutes down the road, so unfortunately couldn’t leave my store to come meet you!

    So, my story is that from the time I was 14 until I was 20 I was an elite athlete, constantly training and worrying about my weight in terms of how it affected my performance. Unfortunately, the coaches I was with weren’t as supportive as they could have been and I had to take my diet into my own hands in order to please them. I ended up not eating meat (despite training 30 hours a week, a mixture of sprints, gymnastics, jumps, weights and cardio) or rice or bread, and survived mainly on salads, a little chicken and ham if I could take it with me all day, and mostly fruit. There were days where all we would have was juice – Juice Days were so that when we got on the scale, we weren’t weighed down by food or, to be honest, any bodily waste.

    It felt good to be that light. It felt good to have “worked” that hard, and to have been so dedicated. At that point, I was 64kg (140lbs), and 178cm tall (5’11”). Now, after taking a year off, I’m about 155lbs and I’m 180cm tall (I grew – hah!). I have hips and a bum and a little belly, but the shape of my body has changed dramatically, and so has my opinion of myself. It’s about finding that medium.

    Please don’t be upset. You’re right. You achieved this amazing body and you’ve still got such a cool week coming to you! My only advice would be to not completely pig out the evening of your comp. Stay clean, just have your hot sauce. Don’t be afraid of what happens afterwards, just think of putting your natural body weight back on as slipping into a nice, warm bed and getting a good night’s sleep.

    You’ve inspired me in a very real sense. Thank you for being a beautiful, motivated person and sharing that with so many people. Good luck for your competition.

  53. Anna says:

    Cassie, you are looking absolutely incredible at the moment. I know how much it must suck to have put in all that effort and then be told you can’t keep the reward for very long. But remember that although you look and feel great now – you were still in incredible shape BEFORE all this, and going back to that, although might be hard, is not exactly reverting to a couch potato unhealthy unfit lifestyle. You have so many people who look up to you and who are inspired by you – the regular, pre-bikini competition you. Remember that. 🙂
    x

  54. Heliana says:

    You already looked fabulous before starting this competition thing, so going back to that shouldn’t be scary. And like you said, you can work hard for the summer season and show off your extra lean and mean bod when we wear more skimpy clothes anyway.

    Show off your hot and fit-self this weekend and win some trophies!!

  55. Nadine says:

    i feel like it’s dangerous to be too rigorous in your exercising because people die from stressing their bodies and getting heart attacks when they do too much. a man who ran 15 miles a day died at age 40 from a heart attack. it’s only for a short period of time and just so you know, cassey, we all think you look beautiful now and beautiful before. you never looked unhealthy and never looked like you couldn’t wear a bikini and rock it! you’ve always had the desirable body, just now you have a competitive body. i think you’ll be okay losing a tiny bit of definition if it means you can treat yourself.

  56. Love this post. Thanks for your honesty. I have to admit, lately I’ve really been feeling kind of misled (not sure if that’s the right word) by the models we see in Oxygen magazine etc. The magazines preach about cleaning eating and training hard, which to me gives the impression of ‘do what we say and you’ll look like this’.

    That’s why I am appreciating blogs by competitors (such as yours!) more and more when the writer is HONEST about their struggles, the amount of exercise they do, the struggles they have resisting food etc etc.

    So, a big thank you for this post! All the best for your comp, I can’t wait to see the pics and read all about your experience 🙂

    1. Hellen says:

      I totally agree, half the oxygen profiles are a joke – what they say they do to maintain their shape is bullshit, I have worked in this industry for years, those girls are at the gym everyday for up to 5 hours. Take what they say they eat and cut it in half.

      Half of them have eating disorders and use ” clean eating” as a cover.

  57. Thanks for this post! As humans we aren’t meant to be so lean and cut. We are meant to have fat on our bodies.

    I live in a city that pumps out a lot of fitness and bikini models and I worked out at the same gym as them for many years. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve seen being “healthy” or getting ready for a competitions turn into an eating disorder and/or wreck havoc on the body in the rebound from the stress of a vigorous diet and workout regime.

    Good luck this weekend and wherever you end up on the other side we will be here to support you!

  58. Tracey says:

    No matter what, your personality will always shine through more than the change that your body will go through! And even though you worked hard to reach a body like this, you know now that you can and will be able to achieve like this in the future. As my dad says, just be sad for one day, but don’t let your sadness overcome you! There’s so much more opportunities that life has to offer and we should enjoy them!

  59. Makayla says:

    Call me cheesy if you will but Cassey, you look ABSolutely amazing!

  60. Beverly says:

    Hi Cassie,
    That was a fantastic post and it’s about time someone was honest about what it takes. I applaude you for your candor and honesty. I too was sporting bikini babe abs for awhile ,however at the time I was running marathons, working out with trainers and eating rediculously clean. I’m pretty happy with my figure these days although I’m not posting any bikini pics online 😉 You look fantastic but the most important beauty is within and you’ve been sporting that since I’ve been reading your blog. All the best to you.

  61. Clem says:

    I think you looked like a bombshell even before you started this strict exercise and diet regimen, but I understand how disappointing it must feel. Oh well! That’s life, I guess.

    Btw, what’s a carb cycle? I’ve never heard of that before.

  62. Ashley says:

    Thanks for this post. I have just found your site within the last week and it has been so inspiring and do real. You have an awesome body ( before and after) and make me want to work harder to get in shape and to eat better. I love waking up sore because it means I’ve pushed myself so thank you for being so positive and real.

  63. Tisha Elsayed says:

    I am at my target weight right now…right now my problem is cellulite, and I am 39 years old, NOT in my 20s!!!! My face looks young (everyone thinks I’m 25 at the most) but I can definately tell that my body is 39 😛 So I am doing the carb-cycling clean diet and workout to try to get rid of this. This is not fun either (though nothing like you’re doing Cassey–major props to you!!!) and my husband is always trying to make me eat ice cream bars and cake lol and he gets frustrated with me “not eating”…well I AM eating, I’m just eating differently 😛 So anyway, I don’t know if I’ll be able to keep this up. I just had a meltdown tonight because it was supposed to be a “low-carb” day and his mom brought mac & cheese for dinner!!! And it would SUPER offend her to not eat it 🙁 So imagine I am crying bc I ate mac & cheese lol and as I’m typing this I see how crazy it sounds!! But I am putting a lot of effort into the workouts and planning the diet and keeping track of the carbs, calories, fat, and protein every day and I think it’s starting to get to me LOL!!! Anyway, maybe we should all just relax and moderation is the key. Cassey you look awesome, but if you’re not getting paid to look like this, I say do the best you can but enjoy your food!!! Even if you gain 10 pounds we will still love you :))

  64. Katie says:

    Cassey,

    You are really inspirational. I’ve been doing your workouts for about 6 months now. I have also been watching you on this journey through your posts and pictures, and I want to say congratulations. Furthermore, I want to deeply thank you for clarifying something I have known in the back of my mind for so long – every body finds an equilibrium. No one can be perfect forever. I’ve needed to hear that in words for 18 months, when I came out of my anorexic/exercise builimia. I am still a very active athlete – I am that insane person at the gym who’s on the cardio machines for an hour and a half in the afternoons and on the weights one hour in the morning. I’ve been frustrated in the back of my mind for such a long time that I can’t be model-thin, that I can’t have a six-inch thigh gap, that my abs will never be full-on six-pack; it always gets me down. Reading this article makes me feel so much better, to know that someone who clearly works so hard is willing to admit that she won’t be perfect forever. In a way, it helps me to accept the same about myself.

    Thank you so much.

  65. Aja says:

    I can completely understand not wanting to go back. If I worked as hard as you have to look as awesome as you do (and you always look wonderful) then I would absolutely be devastated to learn that I wouldn’t be able to keep what I worked so hard for. I suffer from Anorexia Nervosa and when I was first told I had to gain weight back I freaked out. It was of course so I could be healthy and live, but I had worked so hard and denied myself so much to lose all the weight that I did that I couldn’t take it. It was, and still is, quite a struggle, so I can at least say I understand where your feelings are coming from. But also, you will be able to it again if you desire. It’s just hard to get the idea into your head that you can’t always have it but you want it so bad. Congratulations on all of your hard work, by the way! You are truly an inspiration to all of us.

  66. angela breeland says:

    i hear you loud and clear!! i am finally back at my target weight, my body is getting more and more toned, i eat healthy (not super duper clean though), i like where i am at. and YES it was and is hard work to maintain. but i love it. thing is….i want to have another baby. it is difficult to give up something you worked really hard for in order to have other things you want as well. you want more of a life outside of the gym and you want your hot sauce. i want another baby and icecream. well…good thing is, we can have both (just at different times.) but lets be honest, the hard work is a little rewarding all in itself. i look at my self in the mirror and i think “i did it once. i’ll do it again.”

  67. Cassie you look HOT in that photo!
    And this post is a reality check and something that I was actually really happy to hear. I am average and am striving for being at my best physically. I always wanted to have lean muscles look trim and slim. However, this post shows that even fitness people have their off seasons and cannot maintain it, I don’t know, it just is.. so realistic to the point where it is actually GOOD news haha So although you will not be able to keep this up all year round, I know that because you have been at your best you can always be motivated to try and maintain it as much as possible. Even if you will lose some of it, you are still going to have an amazing body 🙂

  68. Saerah Suyasa says:

    ‘I am so sad that these flat abs and those lean arms may go away if I don’t keep up this regimen’

    Cassey you already had flat abs and lean arms!!

    But this is such a honest and amazing post, thankyou for sharing:)
    And I know you’re gonna kill it at the comp!

    1. Joan says:

      LOL I like this comment. *giggles*

  69. Ana says:

    Cassey,

    You are truly an inspiration. It’s refreshing to hear someone be so honest about the level of hard work it takes to maintain such a strong bikini body. You looked great before and your hard work is even more noticeable now. My sister once trained for a fitness competition so I know that the diet is beyond strict. I say kudos to you. No matter what, you have a healthy lifestyle that will ensure you’ll stay toned. The level of definition might not be there but you’ll always be in shape.

    Good luck,
    Ana.

  70. Mary says:

    You look great! Good luck with your competitions on Saturday and thank you for being honest and letting people know that what you’re doing isn’t sustainable.

    I’m currently working on my dream body with the help of pop pilates. I’ve only been doing your videos for a little over a month now but I already look better than I did a few years ago when I had a 6 month gym membership. No kidding! When I look in the mirror I wanna demand a refund and ask my trainer why the heck I was using all those machines set to 50+ lbs just to look thinner and not at all toned 6 months later. And no I didn’t stay at that weight because I didn’t know how to workout without all that equipment. That’s why I’m so happy to have found your videos and discovered a love for pilates. I am really looking forward to finally being toned and strong and not just thinner!

  71. Rhiannon says:

    Thanks so much for this post Cassey. Thank you for being honest about what it is realistic to achieve and maintain. I’m currently trying to get my pre-pregnancy body back and I just want to get back to my natural healthy weight. I want my body to be happy and fit and healthy, seeing your transformation and your amazing photos has been very inspiring but this post has really opened my eyes to the fact that having the bikini model body is just not an option when you have a one year old, a business and a household to look after. It is so important to have REALISTIC goals and I think this post has helped me see what is realistic for me.

  72. Susie says:

    Hi, Cassey! Best of luck for this competition. You’ll be great 🙂

    I have to agree with a lot of the girls here. You were gorgeous before and I personally prefer the ‘old you’, so to speak. It was the healthy balanced fun-loving body – Don’t worry about gaining weight. Don’t worry about looking like you do right now for the rest of your life. Embrace the challenge you’re been through and enjoy the competition with all your heart, but remember that everything in life is transient. We change all the time. Give yourself a little slack to ‘grieve’ over the loss of the body/results you worked so hard for, and then let it go.

    Remember that we love you and that you help so many of us to stay motivated and ENJOY working out 🙂 I love waking up the morning all sore from yesterday’s workout.

    Wish you all the best. Susie <3

  73. Natalie W says:

    This post makes me feel so happy, because Cassey isnt afraid to let people know shes only human. Its really fantastic, that she can balance her life and still motivate ours. Shes such an inspiration!
    And Cassey… even if you do go back, please know all your fans will still love you. We did before and will support you no matter what!

  74. Jessica says:

    Hi Cassey!

    This was an awesome address to those women/girls who are striving to reach certain fitness goals. I’m glad you posted this. It reminds me to always put my health first and keep my goals achievable and sustainable. UUUGH! This is why you are thee only fitness guru for me! Your too awesome, real, relatable, incredible, and inspiring!!
    XOXO!!

  75. Heather says:

    Very honest post. I bet you feel a lot better getting that out there. I have to tell you again, though, that there are ways to train for competitions where you CAN eat carbs and fats along with protein, and NOT do crazy amounts of cardio. In fact, you don’t have to do any steady state cardio. No pills, no gimmicks, carb depetion and no post comp rebound. It’s true. There are trainers that are able to help you achieve competition quality results without all the crappy side effects. I hope you do well in your competition, but I also encourage you to shop around and find a trainer that will help you work smarter, not just harder 🙂

  76. Although obsessing about stuff normally irks me, I am glad you were honest because if I worked that hard, I’d be thinking the same thing. I have a hard enough time maintaining what you said is maintainable, though I’m working on it. Anyway, I’d agree that there is probably a weight you can maintain safely without making life a bummer and then put more work into it once you need to.

    As for the feeling of working on something and then it going away, it’s definitely not a fun part of hosting a huge event, training for a marathon, or many other things in life. I’m sure you’ll find that other things in life are more lasting and will balance out that feeling of loss.

  77. Faith says:

    I work hard to be healthy…for my family, for myself, for my own selfish/vain reasons, but one thing I remind myself of is this:
    This is the only life we have. We don’t get this day to do over when it’s done. I am not going to miss out on LIVING it by spending half of my day in the gym/working out, saying no to ice cream with my kids or dinner with my family and friends.

    I work on trying to achieve a balance of healthy, fit/thin and happy with no regrets of how I spent today.

  78. HeidiS says:

    wow, I love your honesty!!! It definitely gives me realistic goals. I’m no where near the perfect body…infact I just started my journey post baby. I can only imagine the frustration. Somehow you feel if you’ve worked out this hard..you should least get to enjoy it for awhile and hot sauce at the same time ;-). We see models in magazines all the time and it’s so hard not to want that but like you said, the normal person doesn’t live on protein and water and frequent the gym so many hours a day..life, jobs, and family get in the way and we shouldn’t feel bad that we all don’t look model perfect all the time! Thanks again for the honesty and you are going kick a$$ on Saturday!!!!!!

  79. K G says:

    You sound like someone with an eating disorder. Wanting to be such a low weight and body fat % so badly and actually having a tantrum over it makes you sound like you not only are looks-obsessed, but FEAR being at a healthy weight. Even at your highest weight I’m sure you were a lower weight than about 90% of women your height, so I don’t see why being super unhealthy thin has become your top priority when life is NOT ABOUT being thin. Not to mention all the nasty side effects that come with having an unhealthy body fat %….

  80. Kris says:

    hi cassey! thank you for being so honest. i totally feel the same way you do. im starting to get lines on my abs and my clothes are starting to fit better so im scared that i’ll undo everything one day. hehe. but its nice to know that even you, who always has a nice body, feels the same way i do right now. you’ve made me realize that getting that perfect body is only realistic for a certain period of time so it’s better to focus on just being healthy overall. good luck on your competition and i hope you win! :]

  81. Tara says:

    Hi Cassie! I know that a lot of people have been telling you how great you look, and don’t get me wrong, you definitely do. But let me just point out that you still looked beautiful before. Don’t forget that! And if you can only look like this half the year and only look the way you did the rest of the time, that’s still pretty good in my books. 😛

    But yes, I realize that it can be frustrating. I’m finding out now just how hard it can be to get to that level. And I don’t really understand it, because we’re all told that calories in = calories out, but your trainer is saying that that’s not the case. My wieght goes up and down a lot, and I always eat clean (not clean like you now, but you know, regular-clean). I’m still losing fat overall, but the more I lose the harder it is to keep it off. I guess I’m just at what my body thinks I’m “supposed” to be at. I’m still going to keep working at it hard, and I’m not expecting drastic results within a short amount of time, which you have very impressingly acheived.

    But anyway, I don’t think it’s necesarily as cut and dry as your trainer says, you might have the genes to be able to maintain it. And you also eat clean most of the time regularly, so maybe most fitness models don’t eat clean in their off-season and just go all out! There’s just so many variables. Don’t get discouraged!

  82. I totally understand your frustration on this! I eat the clean (I guess it’s clean) food my mom makes (haha), and I do your workouts ++! Some days my body is my dream body and others it aren’t, but I’m actually happy about it, mostly because my abs are visible after a little cardio. My problem area, is more around butt and thighs, but since my boyfriend loooooooves that area, I’ve kind of stopped worring about it. And yeah, after I found you and blogilates, my arms are actually getting bigger – which is superduper good. I once had even more visible abs, but I feel like my body is better in general now, so I guess I’m creating my dream body. And YOU help me do it, so thanks! And btw, sorry for bad english..

  83. Natalie says:

    If I’m honest I always got the idea of having a weight in the summer and a different one for winter. Before I managed to get myself huge and heavy from kids and emotional upset I was fairly slender and I had huge muscles (bulky ones) since I ran long-distance, did trampolining comps and rugby. I was expected to be lighter in the summer for the running and trampolining competitons and be heavy in the winter for rugby.

    Still, I was always a little disappointed in the winter when I found I’d gained 10lbs or so and I wasnt fitting into my summer clothes nicely anymore! I think it’s just that,it’s disappointment. You work super hard for a single day (or in my case in days gone by, a few weeks) and then suddenly it’s over, and the hype is over and you relax and you lose that lovely shape you had and go back to being normal, only what you see now is normal atm so you just feel huge instead. It might help to look at the pictures of you back a few months when you were in your normal routine and remind yourself that THAT’S the norm and THAT looks very nice.

    Anyway, good luck at the bikini comp!

    p.s. SO glad you picked the cheetar, I love it 🙂

  84. Ria Jenkins says:

    You are being very honest. And telling us about the hard work you are putting into getting this body I hope this gives other girls a perspective that when you see those bikini models, their bodies come at hard work and sacrifice, its not easy. I started using your videos and visiting your blog, because you seemed real, not a 0% body fat girl who has a body most women could only dream of achieving unless they stopped living a normal life. But you were fit, slim, healthy looking. And you are a real sweetheart, a beautiful person all around. You look fabulous now as well, but don’t lose who you are, the core of your being, by having to have the perfect body at all times. Relish this time now, congrat yourself on your hard work and the amazing results you have achieved. And if you lose a little bit of muscle, gain a few more fat percentage points, know we are okay with that as well. You will always be Cassey to us. Our inspiration to be fit strong and healthy.

    I use to be skinny, had what some girls would consider a “dream body” that came “naturally” I was active, always on the move biking etc, didn’t think of it as “working out” And had a fairly fast metabolism naturally. Now fast forward 20 odd years, had 3 pregnancies where my stomach was stretched to its limits, and back each time, not as active as I once was, and am now in my 40’s, where “gasp!!!” metabolism decides to really slow right down, neck and ankle injuries that I have to be wary of. On top of that add some poor eating habits over the years. You end up with some extra poundage, saggy skin, stretch marks, and a not so ideal body. I use to be so self conscious about it. Beat myself up , think I am not good enough, let myself go etc. Took a lot of work, but I am starting to love my body right here and now. I am more than my body. I have a soul, a quirky personality (lol), I have strengths and weaknesses. I have moments of peace and clarity, I have moments of chaos and confusion. I am human. I am me. I am now working on what is healthy for me at this stage of my life. I will never be 20 something again, been there done that, learned lessons, don’t want to go back. I am eating right and exercising because I want to be healthy, set an example for my children, not for a number on the scale or a clothing rack size, but to live life.

    Good luck in the competition. Just remember you are more than your body.

    P.S. Love your workout videos, keep em coming.

  85. Lindsay says:

    You’re right- If you want to maintain a “very athletic” physique, you better be paid for it because A) it’s difficult and B) it’s risky. Maintaining a very low carb diet will put you into ketosis and if you’re not regularly monitored by a doctor, it can be fatal.

    I don’t think you’re vain in wanting to keep these results, but at least you’re smart enough to know that it’s not a healthy, well balanced lifestlye.

    As for post competition, your best bet is to very slowly re-introduce carbs. Your body is super smart- it knows that it hasn’t had glucose in a long time, so every bite you eat your body wants to store for later. If you start eating small amount amounts your body will be forced to first burn the carbs (not store them) and you can minimize the amount of weight gain.

    Now I’m getting all scientific, but that’s the RD in me talking! Good luck on Saturday!

    As for post competition

  86. Patti says:

    Thank you for this post, Cassey! I know it’s scary to post something that’s not 100% positive, but it is really heartening for us to see that you struggle, too.

    I’ve been at my dream body before…it took 60 minutes of cardio 5 x a week and 30 minutes of strength training 4 x a week plus a strict 1700 calorie limit. It was great, but literally one weekend in Paris undid it all! Since then I’ve bounced around the scale, and at times I’ve felt worse about my body than others, but here’s the thing. Now I’m about 20 lbs heavier than I was then, but I feel a thousand times better about my body. Because even with all the working out I did, I couldn’t even run a mile without stopping. Workouts were a chore, not something I enjoyed. NOW I run five miles without a problem, and I LOVE to workout! My diet is 2100 calories. I am strong, I LOVE working out, and I (usually) could care less what that translates to as far as looks go. Sometimes (like right now) I really need to step it up for a role, but the rest of the time, I don’t worry too much about my size. A friend said to me once, “I hope you’re not offended if I say this, but you really have a classical body. Like a Greek statue.” I was THRILLED! I like my big hips and my tummy pooch (again, most of the time). I’m an ideal, after all! 😉

  87. Grati says:

    thought* not taught ,sorry:D

  88. Grati says:

    I haven´t reached my dream body yet,but i actually taught about the subject in this post many times. I think i actually self-sabotage myself from losing weight because of the fear of ¨i might not be able to keep things at the same level,when i get there¨. It´s sad,i really believe i understand what you mean.It´s not about the body,it´s about the hard work you put into something and then for it to be taken away. But Cassey,you are gorgeous no matter what and indeed,i don´t think it´s healthy for the body OR the MIND to aspire to be PERFECT all the time.It´s exhausting,painful and will later on make you unable to appreciate what you have,i think.
    Maybe you´ll do another bikini competition next year,or some other challange that will get your abs that flat (my dream,btw).In the meantime,let´s just be happy with life-food,friends,hobbies,nature,music,books and all. Looks are important,but we must take better care of our soul.

  89. Karla says:

    Totally agree with everything you said, and I completely understand. Thank you for being honest about this, it keeps things realistic. We’re so used to seeing supermodels look thin year round, that we forget that looking like that takes a lot of work and is unrealistic for most normal people. You’re great 🙂

  90. Helen says:

    Cassy, I don’t know what you are complaining about, you were beautiful to begin with. So what if you have to go back and put on a pound or two, you will still look hotter than the average girl. I think you looked healthier with an extra 2 pounds. I saw you as a role model of healthy eating and exercise. You sound a bit obsessed about about your looks these days, please don’t go too far as this is how eating disorders start. I’m not attacking you and I’ve never commented on your posts but I certainly follow them everyday. I just dont want to see a beautiful girl forget there are more important things in life than trying to maintain. Size 0 all here life. Love you Cassey!

    1. I agree…I love your site and think you help a lot of people by promoting a healthy lifestyle…but this post comes across as taking it a bit to far. Looks aren’t everything…and seeing as you said you were “freaking out” about not being able to maintain this physique seems a little vain. Our lives are about enjoyment and living in the moment…not trying to meet some perfect ideal all the time by following strict, rigid, regimented diets and exercise routines. Sure those are important but only to a certain extent. If you let them take over your life you are merely existing not living or thriving…no matter how much of a passion you claim it to be. I hope this doesn’t come across as rude or disrespectful because I am only trying to voice my opinion…
      I mean you have to admit…swearing off condiments? Even hot sauce (which has like NO calories) is a bit extreme. Food is meant to be enjoyed not robotically consumed plain and flavorless.
      Just my two cents!
      I hope you do well at your competition though! I can see you have worked hard and are clearly dedicated to the process.

      1. Ferra says:

        I don’t think Cassey is “obsessed” about her looks at all. We all want to look good, feel good in our skin and see SUPER HARD WORK pay off. If we were all happy with the way we look AND be happy then people who are 5 kilos below the overweight margin would stop wanting to keep shed the pounds because they are healthy.

        I am certainly far from overweight but am 26% in body fat and itsucks that I have to suck my tummy in, tiptoe when I sit so my thighs don’t look HUGE or hesitate to go swimming because I look fat. The fact that this isn’t permanent would bother me a whole lot too!

        Like Cassey says, figure competitors and people like these do this year-round. Sure, they have their off season, but for the most part, they eat less than the typical 1400-1500 cals required for active people (they are SUPER calorie-restricted), workout 4-5 times a day for more than an hour, do cardio 6x a week, etc a few weeks before the contest. By normal standard, this is unhealthy. But it’s their job and they get paid to get a body like they do.

        What I’m trying to say is, I would be P*SSED to know that after all that hard work, I’d gain 10 pounds. Hypothetically, I’d also even be discouraged to work out 3x a week, do cardio 6x a week and eat 1400 cals daily just to see I haven’t lost a single pound or see ZERO changes in my body, wouldn’t you? Wouldn’t anyone? Fact is, no matter how healthy and strong you are and able to run for 10 miles without catching your breath or feel like dying, if you still no abs or defined muscles, you’d be upset too. Cassey is a great woman and inspiration to us all. She’s just being honest and wrote this post like she would rant to her friends – which are us! If we as her friends think she’s developing an ED then that’s just sad… We’re all human and always want visible results/changes. It’s normal.

        1. Sarah says:

          Ferra I agree with your comment 110%. Who wants to put in super hard work for 2 months and only have the results a short time? I would definitly be discouraged too!

        2. Livia says:

          I’m tired of hear about ED here…Do you think that you are be able to lift or create muscles with ED???….First of all you will never never never EVEEEERRR will have muscles if you don’t eat…..ok??Do you think that you will have all the energy to do the things that Cassey do in one day with ED??? If you think that you don’t know nothing about nutrition,health and fitness….

          1. Jessica says:

            I agree Livia, a very close friend of mine had an ED. And this is no way a person with an ED talks. Cassey is very excited about her body (naturally, I mean look at her) and let me tell you someone with an ED does NOT talk positivley about their body, and the sure as hell dont post pics of themselves in bikinis. They hate their bodies, they dont love them. Cassey always always ALWAYS promotes healthy eating, and good body image.

      2. Sunny says:

        I agree with you to some extent, but I think that this is something Cassey chose to do for herself and I think she should be allowed to share it with us. I think what she said about fitness models was perfectly true and I think it can be extended to all those pretty little things we see in media. It’s obvious that it takes a lot of work and honestly, no one is judging me by how tight my abs are. So I only care how great it feels to walk around being able to feel muscles in my stomach (which is like the only reason I keep working out). I think Cassey’s usual diet is even too much for me, because I don’t have to look like Cassey and I don’t think I ever will. My job is not to be a fitness role model. My job is to go to school and be healthy enough to rock that. I think all fitness blogs should be read with personal targets in mind.

        And again, this was something Cassey wanted to do! She should tell us about it if she wants to. Personally, I think she looks great now AND before. She recognizes that it’s not a permanent state. So good for her for achieving her goals.

  91. Holly says:

    Thanks for being so honest. As the woman’s body image has been so skewed it’s hard to know if the magazine covers are the real deal. Most of them aren’t. I watch The Biggest Loser and it’s the same thing. At the finale they all look in tip top shape but after a year or so they’ve put on 15-20 pounds. At first I was like, wow they’re just going back to the way they used to be. But this makes so much sense now. They aren’t working out the six plus hours a day and only eating certain foods and obviously they can’t keep doing that for the rest of their life or they’d whittle down to nothing. It’s just interesting and I’m glad you did this post.

  92. Suzanne Carlile says:

    What a great post this is. It is so refreshing to hear you acknowledging what some of us are living right now! Thanks so much for your honesty. I am actually on the other side of your coin at the moment — I am about 3 months pregnant, and I am GREATLY DISTURBED about what is happening to my body / what is going to happen to it in the next six months and then after the baby is born. In the last 2-3 years, with your workouts, intense cardio, and a decent diet, I had gotten to a body that I had never had before in my life, and I was so proud. But now, I am just watching it all go away. Thankfully I’m now in the second trimester and my energy is coming back, so I’m back in the gym. But having already had one child six years ago, I know what my butt and my belly are in for, and I’m scared and kind of bitter! I had worked so hard! I know I can/will do it again — it just upsets me that I have to watch my body get undone. I know the sweet baby at the end will outweigh all of this, but still!! It’s so upsetting! Thanks again for your honesty. You are a true inspiration. Can’t wait to hear how it goes for you on Saturday!! All the very best to you!!!

  93. Gracie says:

    Back in 2009 I was the thinnest I have been since highschool. At 26 I was a newlywed and spent a lot of time and most of my brain space considering what I will eat, counting calories, working out and being fit. It was thrilling and I was excited to be so thin and buy size 0 jeans. But at the same time, I didn’t realize all that i was giving up. By focusing all of my attention on me, I wasn’t focusing as much on my husband, my friend, family- it was all about me and now it hindsight, it just wasn’t worth it. I am still concerned about being healthy, fit and thin, but I don’t let it consume me completely. I used to get really upset when in a situation where I was with friends or at a family party and they ordered pizza or made burgers. It was inapropriate and really inconvenient plus my bad moods for being hungry or not being able to eat just food didn’t help. Remember to focus on your fitness and your loved ones.

  94. Sarah says:

    I totally understand where you’re coming from Cassey! You’ve obviously put so much super hard work and energy into this and I truly admire your dedication. The whole competition weight and an off season weight sounds like a good ‘solution’ for your problem, but still I can only imagine what it must be like to slowly seeing your previous results getting less visible once you’re not on your strict regime anymore..

    Don’t neat yourself up about it, though! You’re still a huge inspiration to a whole lot of popsters out there, and you’ll keep looking fit and sparkling by eating clean and doing pilates/cardio 🙂

    You’re always so honest and that’s one of the things that made me do your vids in the first place! Most fitness instructors don’t even look human sometimes, but you know and tell us that it takes a lot of hard work and that sometimes things can be tough and you’ve got to push through. Thank you for sharing and you’ll always look great to me.

  95. Michelle says:

    A bangin’ body is all fine and nice, but a healthy body is SO much more important. I totally get you not wanting to lose all that you’ve worked so hard for, but remember in the beginning you said yourself that you were doing this for the experience. You looked incredible before Cassey, a serious role model and picture of health for so many of us…don’t forget that. Your body will take care of itself, you will fall into your normal range, and your body will fill you out in all the places you are meant to be filled. Being a fitness instructor I think there is slightly more emphasis on the way you look (I get that, I teach hot yoga), but you have to remind yourself of all those happy helpful things you tell your students…”love yourself the way you are”, “if you were meant to have someone else’s body, it would’ve been given to you”, “you are beautiful”, “love yourself on the inside and your body will fall into line on the outside”, “healthy is not a size”. You are beautiful! We are women, our bodies are meant to have just a little more “padding”…you can be perfectly healthy and lean without the chiseled abs and skinny arms. I think it might be your lack of “real food” talking here…so get your head in the game for your competition (we’re all cheering for you!)…and then come back to life the way it was meant to be…lived! Living this life you’ve been given is so much more important than achieving a look…in the end it’s your experiences and what you’ve done with who you are that count, not how you look and what others think about it. Love to you Cassey! Proud of you for trying something new, and proud of you for keeping a level head about yourself. Good Luck this weekend! We’ll be here to support you after!

  96. Ala says:

    Thank you for sharing this with us. I am really jealous about your results and you look fantastic but I can not imagine myself eating so clean as you are right now-is this the only way to drop fat body%. Because this is what I am struggling with. I do workout more than I should and my body is telling me to take a break more often now but I can’t get rid of my additional pounds and body fat%. do you know any strategy for it?I would appreciate your thoughts.
    I am crossing my fingers for you!!!

  97. Lou says:

    I know exactly what you mean and I think no one wants to lose his dream body when he or she has achieved it, but it’s true: it’s FU***** (sorry) not healthy! You and all of us are WOMEN, so that means we need a certain percentage of body fat and stuff. You already looked fabulous before – I somehow liked you even better, because you already were absolutely in shape. However, what I’m saying is: there’s no shame for you to regain your “old” body.
    And by the way – Elly is completely right: looks like your booty got a little smaller. And it IS unhealthy to be so thin.
    So, enjoy eating real things you like again 🙂

  98. Laura Rogers says:

    I started training in October I was 140 lbs and now today May I am 127 lbs. I have never felt so stress free in my life! Everything has gotten smaller & tighter but I still want that “FLAT” stomach that I have NEVER had! I have never thought about it until I read your post, that my body is smart and it wants to keep fat around. I have seen no cellulite on my thighs anymore and my arms are becoming more defined each week! I have achieved a body that I am proud of each & everyday! I have gotten out of my one-piece bathing suit & back into a bikini! I am able to keep the weight & body fat off but I am still & may ALWAYS be striving for my perfect body. Thanks for the great post I am passing this info on to my other fitness friends! You are such a great role model, thanks. ~Laura from Wisconsin~

  99. You always look amazing. I’m totally jealous of your body ..competition body or not you look great…I’d kill to have your “non” competition abs and body. I could never eat like you..flavorless foods and super duper clean. Nothing wrong w what you’re doing I guess I’m just not THAT motivated yet..I should be. I dislike my body and want to change so bad. I do eat pretty clean not 100% though. It aggravates me that I don’t have that determination and I do beat myself up about it. I tell myself how are you gonna lose fat if you eat fries or pizza or crap? Ugh grr if I can work out two times a day I will. But it doesn’t happen often. Hopefully it will get easier. I applaud you in the hard work you do. You deserve you look great and I love all your encouraging words. You’re a beautiful person inside and out!

  100. Andie says:

    Cassey, thank you for your honesty! i can totally understand why you wouldn’t want your awesome results to go away. you worked hard for that body! it’s natural for you to want to hold on to it as long as possible. but look on the bright side, you have these wonderful pictures and your experience in the competition to hold on to for the rest of your life. when you’re 80 years old you can show your grandkids that photo of you in the cheetah bikini and tell them about the time that you pushed yourself further than you had ever gone before. i think that is worth the hard work.
    i think every woman has a dream body. it is so ingrained in our society. i see ads every day telling me how i could be thinner, be sexier, diet more. but the problem with that dream body is that it will keep changing. if i drop a few pounds i won’t be happy. i’ll want to drop ten more. instead of focusing on that look i try to focus on the feeling of my body. i focus on how great i feel after a run and i’m energized. and the feeling i get when i finish one of your pilates workouts and think “wow that was fun! let’s do another one!” for me it is worth a few extra pounds to eat french fries when i’m out with friends and ice cream after sunday dinner with my family. i might not look GREAT in a bikini but i look good and i can live with that because my body is healthy and my life is full of happiness.

    1. Saima says:

      Hi Andie

      i found your comments really inspiring. I’m pretty healthy and slim, i started working out to be healthy and i seem to have forgotton that lately. Your comment has reminded me that ‘my body is healthy and my life is full of happiness’ so thank you for that.

  101. Jennie Deike says:

    All my life I have struggled with weight! Up and Down, Up and down.. to hear this is normal? ugh!! I want a bod like yours cassey!! Ohh to have flat abs!! But, is it worth it to torture yourself, knowing that you can’t keep it? Whats the point?

  102. Cassey I think it’s great you’ve come this far in your journey. I agree with your statement that you can’t maintain it year round, but I do think that the more muscle you put on with more time and work, the more you will be able to maintain a “ripped” look, even on your off-season. Simply because the more muscle you have in general, the higher your metabolic rate and the more calories you burn at rest. BUT not many girls want to have a ton of muscle either, so it’s all in what you want in the end! Anyways I think you look incredible with or without your supermodel abs and you will still inspire us all no matter what!! Love you girl!

  103. Melissa says:

    I hear you, but it just isn’t healthy to remain at competition weight for the long term, but then on the other had the more you competition diet the harder and longer it takes for your body to respond because it is used to be ‘lean’. You look amazing and you should be proud of the way you are both competing and non! It will take more hours and more dieting the longer you stay super lean. So go ahead and enjoy food and put on some lbs. after your competition 🙂

  104. Maria says:

    Thank you for your honesty!!! It’s nice to hear someone who lives “the lifestyle” be realistic. I will never have a bikini body. My goal is to have the healthiest body possible at this point in my life (that point being a mother of 4) and I am on my way to that goal, having lost 50 lbs in the past 8 months. It has been hard work, and sometimes I can beat myself up because as far as I’ve come, I still have a long way to go to get to a perfect body. It is refreshing to hear someone who in my mind had a perfect body before starting this process be honest about how ephemeral the quest for the perfect body can be.

  105. Elisabeth says:

    I love this post. Thank you for your honesty Cassey. This is why we love you. I hit my target weight a couple years ago but I became burnt out from all the exercise and quit completely. In those 2 years I gained about 15 lbs. Recently I’ve started working out again and have lost 5 lbs. so far and you have really inspired me to go for work hard. But this is a good reminder for me to maintain a healthy balance and not become obsessed about it again. I don’t want to burn out and stop all over again. Thank you Cassey!

    Btw, you looked AMAZING before!

  106. Maria says:

    I hope you don´t get this the wrong way, Cassey, since I really love you (even when I never met you in person) for having helped me lose a lot of weight with your great workouts… but, it kinda makes me “happy” to realise that not even you find it easy to look so amazingly great as you look now; that this is a curse that ALL of us humans have had placed upon us; that it´s not only impossible for me, but for every single person to look bikini ready all year long. Why? Because for so many years I´ve been mortified believing that the only f* fat pig was me, always regaining the weight that I had been able to shed, always succumbing to the temptation of indulging and, once again, having to work my ass off to look somewhat good again. I am so sorry that you feel like shit having come to this conclusion, but I guess it´s a much-needed reality check that all of us had to come to terms with once in our lives. Now that I am fat again, now that I weigh even more than when I started losing weight a year ago, I cannot agree more with every single word that you wrote. Hope you cheer up soon and that you do great in the competition. What happens with your weight/body image after that, future will tell. In the meantime, enjoy the body of your dreams. You deserve it.

  107. Shauni Queine says:

    Hi there Cassie!
    Great job and progress, first of all!
    I’m quite young, 16 to be exact and society keeps feeding me this ideal thin yet sexy and fit image of women. And I, obviously but sadly want to achieve this body.
    It takes me a lot of willpower to keep an active, healthy life-style and I can’t stop binging on a piece of chocolate, a piece of bread for snack or an extra piece of fruit. My results come *very* slowly because of that, but I’m young to I’m trying to live my life. I don’t want to be thin like a model now, I know that’s impossible but I’m trying to lose just a tiny bit of weight and shed some fat out , 4 pounds of it would be amazing. And your progress makes me strive even more. Thank you and good luck for your competition!

  108. Mike says:

    Great reading. I have done this a few times myself. It’s a process of ups and downs – this helps me appreciate the ‘high’ points more (when I get there). All the best 🙂

  109. Gela says:

    Hi Cassey,

    I’ve been reading your blog and doing your videos for a few months now and I love all your tips and tricks for healthy living! 🙂

    I just read your post about how your body can’t sustain a bikini model physique all year round and it reminded me of a another blog that I’ve been reading, sweaty betties. One of the two girls has actually been struggling with her metabolism from all the training for competitions. I’ve attached a link here: http://thesweatybetties.com/?p=673

    It’s an eye opener, definitely too much of a good thing can have major consequences. Just thought it was worth sharing!

    Good luck!!
    G

  110. Jessica says:

    It sounds like you got caught in the same trap a lot of overweight people do when they’re losing weight. The idea that after you reach your goal, you can just “eat normally” and be “normal” again. This is why so many people regain weight they have lost.

    Now, for people who start out overweight or obese, their “normal” is typically not eating clean and exercising daily! I know, I was one of them. 🙂 But having kept off 50lbs for 6 years now, I also know that I don’t have the motivation and willpower it takes to be any lighter than I am now. I’m in the “healthy” BMI range, toward the upper end of it, and I still get to eat pizza or ice cream or whatever I want, as long as I only do it once a week. I can live with only eating junk food once a week. I can’t live with never eating it, or only once a month. So I weigh 5-10 lbs more than I would if I ate clean all the time, and that’s okay with me. I still eat healthy and exercise 5-6 days a week to maintain my weight where it is, and I don’t think I could mentally handle doing any more than that.

    1. Kathy says:

      I can attest to this. I was clinically obese, and lost 54 pounds in a year by just practicing portion control and exercising regularly. To get to my goal, I would need to lose an additional 20-25 pounds (or a lot of body fat), and it’s been more difficult to drop weight. I maintained my weight for a whole year before I started trying to lose weight again (not necessarily on purpose, but I’m glad I had the practice). I’ve started eating clean (which I was never worried about before) and working with a trainer, working out 6 days a week. When I finally reach my goal, I know it will take a lot of practice to maintain. You’ll find your happy medium, as will I. Good luck on your competition! You look bangin!

  111. Chelsea says:

    You make complete since. I wouldn’t want to go back at all either, but know what you’re doing is the right thing for your body. You don’t want to put your body in harms way at all. You’ll get that body back one day! Just next time you decide to compete again ;D!

  112. Elly says:

    Cassey, I can totally see how you would NOT want to go back. I lose a few pounds and can get obsessed over it! I do not have my dream body, and really not sure I ever will. I do work out, and try to eat well, BUT I also have 3 kids, homeschool 2 of them and am on the run a lot! I LOVE to eat too. But I must say, since starting all your youtube workouts, and looking at recipes, you have helped me lose 4 pounds! I am in no way heavy (down from 120, now 115), but I have aquired a nice layer of fat (with all 3 of my pregnancies). You have been a real inspiration and push to me. And to watch you do this has also inspired me to NOT rest and take the pain when I do your work outs. That being said, it IS unnatural to be so thin. From that profile picture it looks like you lost your bootay. I like how athletic you looked before. You look great now, and I wouldn’t worry if you go up in weight a little. You always look fabulous. And now you have this experience behind you, it will change how you do things. Good luck Cassey, you are AWESOME!

  113. Aubrye says:

    what is your diet and training plan?

  114. Michaela says:

    I absolutely loved this post and I love you for your honesty. Finally FINALLY somebody who talks openly about this. Thanks for this great post and I bet being able to indulge again will be worth gaining some weight later 😉

  115. Jill says:

    Cassie,

    I’m so glad you posted this. A couple of months ago I was able to lose ten pounds, more weight than I have ever been able to lose in my whole life! And I did it in a little over two months! I was so happy and promised to keep it off, but LIFE got in the way. I’m currently living in Germany working as an Au pair, thousands of miles away from home, and I have very little control over what I am able to eat during the day. Slowly, from more hours of work, many trips around Europe, and having a boyfriend who loves what I look like no matter what, I am almost back to the weight I started at back in January. Its so crushing to feel like that hard work fell apart, and left me with nothing. I feel like I’ve become obsessed with my body, and its annoying because I’ve always been happy and confident and I’ve always been bigger than I am now. It seems like you have to choose between living a full life and having a perfect body. Living fully requires being able to make choices, trying new things, and loving yourself no matter what you look like.

    Reading your post makes me feel so much better about my weight battle. I know I can try to be able to lose that weight again, maybe when I’m back in the U.S. and have control over the food I buy and when I am able to workout. But for now I will just be as healthy as I can and enjoy this crazy adventure for what it is, and not let what I see in the mirror dictate how I feel! Thanks for your honesty, Cassie, and you look amazing!

  116. Christine James says:

    You look gorgeous before and after. I prefer you before in fact! Life’s too short not to enjoy what you love – you know you can achieve this look any time you want will a bit of a strict diet and a bit more workout! There’s no need to do it all of the time.

  117. M says:

    Let me tell you this: even if you lose this body, say, tomorrow (knock on wood!) in 40 years – may we all be well by then – you will think back and feel extremely satisfied and proud that, even for a little while, you looked bikini perfect. Even though, to tell you the truth, I think “bikini perfect” is where you were before too, but, oh well, you know 😉
    I have been eating clean and working out pretty hard (for someone who’s not a professional, at least – like 4-5 times a week for yeeeaaaars) and still I have built-in fat that I can never shed. It’s my body. I dieted and cried and cursed and felt wronged, and finally I came to the realization that doing my best just has to be good enough. I’m fine with it (and do your cardio-and-pilates-videos every day!) and enjoy all the training, but every now and then I wish that, even for one bikini-season, I could wear my bikini proudly at the beach, with no cover-up bikini dress! 😛
    oh well! enjoy it, and remember: if you did it once, you can do it again, and the second time is always a bit easier!

    1. blogilates says:

      this is true! thanks hun!

  118. Jenn Voss says:

    OMG! I can totally relate with you on every level here and I’m not even doing any kind of fitness competition. It is HARD to think about going back and wow I am always trying to change up my fitness too–to keep my body guessing and having fun trying new fitness formats while I’m at it! I am at a point though now where I am maintaining and working to build muscle and feel like I need to actually “add” a little cushioning to my body, but agreed I am after the ROCK-HARD booty and abs we see in competitors and fitness models! It is work and it is a labor of love of being your best for sure! Thanks for this post Cassie–I know you will blow the competition away and afterwards find that “Happy” non-competing “feel-good” weight and STILL have some killer abs to boot! xoxoxo Jenn

  119. ashley says:

    Hey,

    I don’t really have a dream body I am reaching for success at being fit, yes…but I dont mind not being absolutely perfect ya know but I would lovvvve to have a killer body! but do i have the time and dedication, probably not. takes a lot of will power for sure. What I do for my workouts is pole dancing…this is what really makes me happy is dancing…do i have the leanest body no..not yet…but my strength is improving and that is overpowering when you feel like you’re walking on air dancing on a pole. 😀 This is where my high in life comes in…when you’re able to do something you put your mind to…just like you have with your competition. I plan on doing mine doing pole dance competitions. some day…not soon but maybe in 2 years. Good luck girl. you look great and you have a lot of people who stand behind you 100%!!! have fun with what you’re doing. its most important…and dont let others make you feel any less…because they can’t handle a hot picture 😉

  120. Renate Meyer says:

    I totally hear ya Cassey.
    I had my dreambody last summer but due to all the school and work the past half year now I have barely had a chanse to workout thr pst 4 months. I have to blame myself mostly for proiritising the wrong things. But the transformation back goes so slow that you don’t notice it as fast and you slowly adapt to the ‘a bit less’ version of yourself. At least in my experience =)

    But u know what I just realised? My BIRTHDAY is on your showoff day, so WIN!! Win for me as well 😀

    1. blogilates says:

      ok i will try my best!!!!

  121. Tess says:

    I know how you’re feeling. I’m competing in a state pageant for Miss America this summer and am doing my best to eat clean and prepare. I live in a sorority with a cook who makes delicious (and fattening) food so it’s so hard to stay motivated!
    I thank you SO much for keeping us updated with your progress. As someone who can relate, it has really kept my goal at the front of my mind. I have been very discouraged lately about my “plateau” that I have hit but if you can do it, so can I!
    Thank you for posting!!!